12. Levi
12 LEVI
It was official. I was worried as hell about Rob. We woke up together for the last three mornings, bodies tangled together and smiles on our faces. She would reach for me, or I would reach for her, and our lips would fuse together hungrily, frantic to touch, to taste each other as if we hadn't just devoured each other the night before. But just a few seconds into the kiss, Rob would pull back, jump off the bed, and lock herself in the bathroom for ten minutes.
At least.
This morning was no different. She took off for the bathroom, and I stepped into a pair of boxers, heading to the kitchen for two cups of coffee. Maybe she wasn't taking care of herself the way she should be. Or, another thought occurred to me, maybe she was really sick and didn't want to tell anybody. This morning, however, Rob was still in the bathroom when I came back with the coffee.
My frown wore a hole in the door until finally she emerged. "Hey," I said softly.
She hit me with that brilliant smile, and for one solid moment I felt my heart bang around in my chest like one of those metal pinballs. Just as quickly, the smile faded, and one hand slapped across her face, covering her nose and mouth.
My own frown appeared, wondering if this was the day she would unleash her true high-maintenance side. I stood just as she turned and rushed back to the bathroom, taking the coffee mugs with me. I took a few gulps, letting the hot liquid scald my throat and wake me up, not that I needed it because fear wove its way through me like a cobra, tightly coiling around me until every worst-case scenario played in my head.
Rob was curled up on the bed with the blankets pulled up until only her hair was visible. I sat on the bed beside her, placing one hand on her hip, dragging it slowly up and down her leg. "I'm worried about you, Rob. What's going on?"
For a long time, she said nothing, and then a sniffle sounded. And another.
I was like every other man on the planet when it came to a woman's tears, completely ill-equipped to handle them. "Rob, just talk to me." This time I waited her out, sure the silence would force her to speak.
Eventually, she peeked her head out and gasped at my nearness. "Levi," she whispered so softly I would've missed it if I hadn't been watching her.
"Yeah, Rob, I'm here." I brushed her hair from her face with my fingers. "Do you need something? Water? Oatmeal? Soup?"
Her brows furrowed in confusion. "Oatmeal?"
I shrugged. "Isn't that something people eat when they're sick?"
"I don't know," she sighed at the same time she attempted a laugh. "I'm not sick, Levi. Well, I am sick, but not the kind of sick you're thinking about. I'm, well, I'm pregnant." She paused for just long enough that the word "pregnant" echoed in the room. "That's why I passed out, and that's why I've been so tired."
"Pregnant." I said the word again and again, willing it to make sense to me.
"Yeah, I know," she said, seemingly on a roll. "I wasn't expecting it either. I mean, I've been going through a major dry spell for more than a year, really more like seventeen months, not that I'm counting or anything, but sheesh, to go from a vibrator to pregnant was not on my BINGO card this year. We haven't been seeing each other very long," she said, filling the silence.
"Rob."
"I'm not even sure if we're actually seeing each other or what, but I do know that I like you. More than I realized until I was faced with the thought of losing you, but I'm not trying to guilt you, Levi. This, having this baby, feels right, and I'm going to do this. No matter what you decide, I'm going to do this." She blew out a breath, seemingly finally exhausting every word in the English language before she fell back against the bed.
The weight of her stare was heavy, but I couldn't look at her. Hell, I couldn't move because shock had nailed my feet to the ground.
"Right," she sighed. "Well, you let me know what you think or what you've decided once you've had a chance to, um, think about it." She slipped and slithered until she was free of the covers, bending over until she had last night's clothes bundled in her arms. "Okay then."
As soon as Rob was gone, my feet moved. I stood and paced back and forth in my bedroom while I tried really hard not to freak out. A baby. Rob was pregnant with my baby. What the hell am I gonna do with a baby? I didn't even really have a father, so what do I know about being somebody else's dad? Did she really want to have a baby with me? A baby. I didn't even know what to make of Rob's announcement. On the one hand, I was relieved as fuck that she wasn't dying, but on the other, she was pregnant with my baby, and I wasn't sure if I was prepared to be anyone's father.
Did it really matter if I was ready or not? Rob wasn't ready either, and she was ready to face it all on her own. It was a bigger upheaval for her, impacting her body and her livelihood. Her freedom, in fact. But she seemed decisive about it.
The baby.
If she could do it, so could I. "Shit." I rushed downstairs to stop Rob before she got too far. I stopped abruptly when I found her sitting on my sofa with her legs crossed and her eyes closed. "Problem?"
She flashed a sheepish half-smile. "I forgot that you drove us here last night. But I can call someone to come get me if that's easier." She shot to her feet. "You have a lot to think about."
"It's fine, I'll give you a ride. Are you hungry?" I didn't know how my voice was so calm, so even, but I managed, and it helped Rob relax.
"Well yeah, I'm always hungry. The more important question is, will I be able to keep it down?"
I nodded toward the kitchen. "Is that a big problem now?"
"Yeah," she sighed. "It's morning sickness that apparently can strike at any time of day. So far, it's just early mornings, and I can manage a few bites throughout the day after that."
I frowned. "How in the hell can you grow a human on a few bites a day?"
She shrugged. "I don't know, Levi, take it up with nature."
I managed a laugh at her snarky words while I pulled ingredients to make scrambled eggs. "I'm making extra, so eat as much as you want."
"Yes, sir!" Her mock salute made things feel normal for the first time since she said those words to me. I'm pregnant. "So I meant what I said, Levi. I don't want to pressure you about this. It's completely unexpected, and maybe if I was at a different point in my life, I'd be scared shitless, but right now? It feels right for me."
"I never thought about having kids before."
She was silent for a long time. "Really?"
"Yeah. I mean, there's never been a right girl, and for the past few years, it seems like they've all been the exact wrong girls." Shit, that was giving her the wrong idea. "Not that there have been a lot."
She laughed. "You're gorgeous and kind and you can cook, I'm sure there were plenty of women, Levi."
I smiled, ignoring her complimentary words. "Mostly they were a few dates, but a few that could be called relationships that didn't go anywhere."
"Did you want them to?"
I nodded. "Yeah, but I didn't realize it until the disappointment set in when they were over. But it wasn't about the woman, just the situation, I suppose." I finished off the eggs and placed them on two plates.
"I dated a guy for three months a few years ago. I liked him, and I thought he liked me too, but when he broke up with me, you know what he said?"
I shook my head.
"'I wasted three months, and you didn't even recommend me to anyone. What was the point of this?'" She shook her head at the memory. "I was falling for him, and he was just biding his time until I gave him an in, which was bad enough. But when I met him, he said he was a DJ, not a model."
"What a fucking asshole." How dumb were the men in modeling?
"He was," she agreed easily. "But he was also a lesson learned."
"'Men are assholes,' was that the lesson?"
She threw her head back and laughed, still chewing her eggs. "Obviously, but that's a gimme. I learned to listen to a man's actions more than his words."
I heard her words, and I understood. "Eat up," I told her with a smile.
"You're bossy," she shot back.
"It's because I'm the boss." I tapped the table near her plate. "Unless you want me to whip up some oatmeal?"
She laughed again, and it was such a sweet sound, and the fact that I just thought that told me I was in more trouble than I realized.