14. Levi
14 LEVI
"Are you sure you're up for this?" Rob asked the question for the third time in five minutes, her expression a mix of worry and reassurance.
I stopped and turned to her, dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt, with an oversized cardigan on top that gave her jade eyes an otherworldly quality. She'd made an effort with her hair, removing the messy bun in favor of soft waves. She was always beautiful, but today she was stunning.
"Are you sure?" I turned the question around on her because she was the one feeling nervous. Although the color had returned to her cheeks and she wore a thin layer of makeup, my worry ran deep. I still hadn't gotten over the sight of her pale and sickly, barely able to stand up under her own energy, and no matter what she said, I was going to worry. "Well?"
Rob shrugged. "It's jellybean counting; I'll be fine. I swear." She held up her index finger and made an 'X' shape over her heart.
"Okay," I agreed. "And it's guessing how many jellybeans are in the jar. We're not dumping it out and counting, you know that, right, Rob?"
"What's the difference?" she asked flippantly.
"About two hours."
Her expression went blank before a loud laugh exploded out of her. "Yeah, okay, fair point. Yes, I'm fine. Are you?"
I nodded and took her hand in mine. "As long as you don't pass out like that again, I think I'll be fine."
"With as close as you're standing, I don't think I'll be in any danger."
Okay, so maybe I'd been a little too cautious since she fainted in the park, but who could blame me when that one act shaved at least six years off my life? I stuck close to her, and not just because I was terrified she might faint again. It was also because she smelled good. Because there was this electric heat that arced between us when we were together, and it was so damn intoxicating. Mostly, it was because she was Rob. "Is that a problem?"
"Nope," she smiled and clasped her palm to mine, dragging me to the community center where the tables were set up. "Come on."
Long tables were set up in a rectangle around the giant jar of colorful jellybeans, and Rob, of course, chose a table that gave us a good view of the door but not a direct path. "Odd choice, but okay."
"We'll be difficult to get to over here," she whispered, motioning toward the door just as the Matchmakers entered.
I laughed. "Somehow, I doubt a few folding tables will deter that group."
"Probably not, but I'm not above putting obstacles in front of old ladies to save myself. It's like in a horror movie, I don't have to be the fastest runner; I just have to run faster than you."
"That is wicked," I told her around a laugh.
"Well, don't you two make a beautiful couple," Molly Dickson cooed as she stopped in front of us, wearing a pleased expression.
"So beautiful," Edith agreed, assessing us individually and then as a couple. "You would have gorgeous children," she exclaimed.
Rob stiffened beside me at Edith's words, but her smile brightened instead of wavered. "He is ridiculously good-looking, isn't he?" Her gaze flicked to mine, shining with amusement.
I felt my cheeks heat at her compliment. "That's high praise coming from someone who was professionally beautiful." I was gratified when a flush crept up her skin.
"I don't think anyone has ever called me professionally beautiful before. I like it."
"You should get it printed on business cards," I shot back.
Rob raised her chin higher. "Maybe I will."
"You should."
"Yes," Jane Moon sighed heavily. "You two are just so adorable. Makes me upset that we didn't match these two."
Edith snickered. "Speak for yourself. Robin is only working at the bar because she was trying to get out of co-chairing Easter Fest with me." She winked at me. "Never underestimate me; I've seen everything and done the rest."
"You're kind of terrifying, Edith, you know that?" I smiled at her, and she laughed.
"You do know the way to my heart, Levi." She flashed a look of sympathy in Rob's direction. "We'll talk soon, Robin." And then she sauntered off.
"Tell me she used to be in the mob," I whispered to Rob, making her laugh even as my mind raced at the women's words.
What if I decided that I wasn't ready to be a father? Worse, what if I decided after being a dad that I wasn't cut out for it? I wouldn't just lose Rob, which was bad enough, but everyone in Holiday Grove would paint me as a deadbeat, and then my business would suffer. Eventually, I'd have to leave town and start over.
Again.
I realized that my words to Rob in her living room weren't just me being polite, I really had no fucking clue where my head was when it came to fatherhood. I knew I couldn't just walk away, not from Rob or my kid, but I needed to be ready. I had to be. For them.
"Did you guess?" Rob leaned over and whispered a little too loudly.
Shit. I had wasted time just staring at the jar. "Almost," I lied and stood. "Hang on." I went to study the jar up close, using a few tricks so that it would be more than some wild guess. A minute later, I rejoined Rob at our table.
"Oh, so serious," she teased and handed me the whiteboard to write the number on.
I scribbled a number and turned the board face down on the table, smiling at Rob even as my mind wandered right back to the decision I needed to make. "Hungry?"
She nodded, her eyes glittering with amusement. "Starved. How about burritos?"
"Sounds good. And if we win, how about ice cream with our gift certificate?"
She laughed. "I'll see your ice cream and raise you an ice cream cake." The way her eyes danced when she was teasing me was better than anything I'd ever experienced with a woman outside the bedroom. And dammit, I couldn't get enough.
I wasn't sure about much these days, but the one thing I was damn certain about was that I wanted to spend as much time with Rob as possible while I figured it out.
That made me a selfish bastard, and I was more than aware of that, but I was okay with it because my reward was Rob.