Chapter 27 #2
"In spite of what she may have said, I didn't hurt Gia,” I clarify, though my stomach turns at the memory of my own hands, the same hands that touched Kai with such fucking tenderness, wrapped around Gia's neck. "But I did put my hands on her in anger and then caught myself and backed off.”
The compliance officer makes notes, saying, “That’s actually the very definition of assault.”
The athletic director looks like he's calculating how much this is going to cost the university in bad PR. Coach Dixon just looks tired.
Tired and disappointed.
Somehow, that's worse than him cursing me out.
"You understand this could result in suspension," the athletic director says. "Possibly for the remainder of the season. With playoffs coming up—" he looks over at Coach.
"I understand,” I tell him.
“It’s a shame. You’re an integral part of the team.”
“And I apologize.” My voice comes out steadier than I feel.
Inside, something is crumbling, but I hold it together. For her. For my teammates. For myself.
“I’m prepared to accept whatever consequences you decide.
But I want it on record that Kai Vega acted professionally throughout our entire working relationship.
Any line that was crossed, I crossed it.
She shouldn't be punished for my behavior. And frankly, the code of conduct thing shouldn’t be in place to begin with.
She can still help me with my media reputation and go on a date with me. The two can coexist.”
Coach Dixon finally speaks, his gravelly voice cutting through the tension. "You really care about this girl, don't you?"
I imagine Kai's laugh, that surprised, delighted sound she makes when I actually say something smart.
I remember the way she smells after a shower, like vanilla and something floral I can never identify.
I think about her warm pussy wrapped around my dick, deliciously squeezing the life out of it, her breath hot against my ear, whispering the word please like it's a solemn prayer.
“I’m sorry, Coach, but yes, more than hockey," I admit, and the words feel like ripping off a bandage. "More than anything."
The room goes silent.
I'm pretty sure no one has ever heard a VCU hockey player say those words before, and possibly never will again.
"We'll need to discuss this further," the athletic director says eventually. "You'll be notified of our decision within forty-eight hours."
I nod and stand to leave, my legs surprisingly steady for someone who's just potentially tanked his entire future.
"Morelli." Coach Dixon's voice stops me at the door. "For what it's worth, this is the most mature thing I've ever seen you do.”
"Thanks, Coach."
"Don't thank me. They might still bench you for the rest of the season, which means we’re in shit load of trouble.”
"I know." I meet his eyes, and I let him see all of it, the fear and the hope and the love I can't contain anymore. “I know, and I’m sorry, but even still, it might just be worth it."
***
If Sue’s intel is to be trusted, it's finally presentation day for Kai.
Unfortunately, I haven't heard back from the athletic department yet. And I don't know if Professor Murphy told Kai about my visit. I don't know if any of what I've done will make a difference, because most importantly, I still haven’t heard from Kai.
While I’ve been sticking to the whole “give her space” directive, I know I can't just sit here while she stands up in front of her entire department and presents a project about me, about us, without knowing that I tried.
That I fought for her. That, for once in my self-centered life, I put someone else first.
Shane catches me pacing the kitchen of the Ice House at the ass crack of dawn, probably wearing a groove into the tile.
"Today's the day, huh?"
"Her presentation's at ten." Four hours. Two hundred and forty minutes until I find out if I've completely blown up her life.
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“You haven’t talked to her?”
“No.”
"You going to watch?”
I stop pacing, running my hands through my hair for the hundredth time. "I don't know if I should. She might not want me there."
"Bass." Shane grabs my shoulder, forcing me to look at him. His grip is solid, grounding. "You've spent three days doing everything right. Talking to her professors. Admitting to the Gia shit with the athletic department. Protecting Kai’s future when you should've been worried about your own."
“Yeah, and?”
"So now you back all that talk up.” His eyes are serious, none of his usual smirking bullshit.
"You sit in the back of that room, and you let her see that you’re not going a motherfucking place.
Even if she never forgives you. Even if she never speaks to you again.
Show the fuck up.” He releases my shoulder.
"That's what a guy who actually loves his girl does. "
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat.
Love.
There's that word again. The one I've been running from my whole life, the one that terrifies me more than any check on the ice ever could.
But I'm done running.
"When did you get so wise, sensei?” I say in a mocking tone, trying to lighten the mood.
"I've been watching you fuck everything up for months now,” he chuckles. “I learned what not to do." There's the Shane I know.
“Asshole.”
“Now go shower.” He laughs at me. “You smell like a mixture of anxiety and a bowl full of onions.”
I head for the stairs, my heart pounding with something that feels dangerously close to hope.
In four hours, I'm going to walk into that classroom.
I'm going to sit in the back row. And I'm going to look at the girl I love, the woman who doesn't know yet how completely she's wrecked me for anyone else, and I'm going to show her with my presence what I can't say with my words.
I don’t give a fuck what the university has to say about us. All I care about is what Kai believes about me.
I’m here. I'm not going anywhere. And I'll wait as long as it takes for you to believe me.
Today, I find out if any of it was enough.