Nigel
His mother looked up from the vegetables she was chopping. ‘Mark bought it for me from the gift shop at the zoo. Rather nice of him, I thought.’
‘Tea, Mother?’
‘Yes, please.’
Mark joined them. ‘What do you think of our new fridge magnet, Nige?’
Their mother looked up again. ‘What are you boys up to? Do I smell a rat?’
Mark laughed. ‘Or perhaps another form of rodent. Nigel enjoys getting up close and personal with rodents, don’t you, Nige?’
‘I hope you two haven’t fallen out again.’
‘As if we would,’ Nigel and Mark said in unison.
Nancy didn’t look convinced. ‘I’m going to get some potatoes from the shed. I won’t be long. Just remember you’re both fully grown adults.’
As soon as she was out of earshot, Nigel turned to Mark. ‘How long are you going to take the piss out of me for today?’
‘Until it ceases to be funny. Could be a decade or two.’
‘I need to have a word with your line manager.’
‘Who? Lucy?’
‘Yeah. She and I have a deal that I will show you some respect. But I need to renegotiate because currently it’s not reciprocal.’
‘Oh, come on. It was hilarious. Lucy’s got a cracking photo of Elsie inspecting your arse. That’s taking pride of place in our 2024 Review of the Year.’
Nigel laughed. His wish to feature in the New Year’s Eve party show reel was going to come true. Pity it had to be in such humiliating circumstances.
Mark looked baffled. ‘Bloody hell. Have you suddenly developed a sense of humour?’
‘I’m glad I can provide you all with some free entertainment,’ Nigel said, picking up two mugs of tea and heading back to the drawing room.