Chapter 8
8
“Oh, dear. You waited up. This can’t be good.”
Beth wanted to protest her aunt’s assessment of the situation, but there was no point. She’d already tried going to bed and found there was no way she could relax enough to sleep. After thirty minutes of tossing and turning, she’d pulled on yoga pants and a T-shirt and had settled in the family room until Agatha’s return.
“Come with me,” her aunt said, leading the way to the kitchen. She pulled a bottle of brandy out of the liquor cupboard and poured them each a small amount in a snifter, then moved toward the back door. Beth followed her, pausing only to grab a hoodie from a hook.
They settled on the patio. The night was still and just a little cool. She put her glass on the small table between them and pulled on her hoodie before zipping it and collapsing into the chair.
Even in a residential area of Malibu, they were too close to city lights to see any stars. Planes flew overhead, zipping to LAX from all over the globe. Beth remembered how when she was a little girl, she thought the moving lights were shooting stars and used to wish on them. Mostly her wishes had been about their mom changing so she would want to keep them safe—a dream that never came true.
“Tell me,” Agatha said before sipping her brandy.
“Rick’s new girlfriend is Jana from the food bank.”
She quickly explained about how Rick had figured out she and Jana knew each other, then the unexpected encounter on the front porch.
“I guess he thought it would be funny to spring it on us, but it wasn’t. I felt…” She paused. “I don’t know how I felt.”
“Betrayed?” Agatha offered. “Used?”
“I want to say no, but maybe. Which doesn’t make sense. Jana was as shocked as I was, and she didn’t think the situation was the least bit amusing. I was upset and confused.”
She glanced at her aunt. “Rick is such a dweeb when it comes to relationships. I get that. I just wish he hadn’t thought this would be great fun for all.”
Agatha’s mouth drew together in a line. “You’re giving him too much credit.” She frowned. “Or maybe not enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your brother is far more aware than you think, although I agree that he didn’t think the situation through from anyone’s perspective but his own.”
Beth knew that hadn’t been what she’d said. “You’re blaming him?”
“I don’t think blame is called for, and I have no idea why he did what he did, but Rick is a grown man who has experienced a lot of life. He’s not the shy, overly intelligent child you remember.”
“He hasn’t changed that much. Jana’s the first woman he’s gone out with in what? A year?”
“Oh, I suspect there have been other women. He just chooses not to tell you about them.”
Beth shook her head. “You’re wrong. Rick tells me everything.”
“No one tells their sibling everything. You have secrets.”
“No good ones,” she grumbled, then turned her attention back to the actual problem. “I was prepared to hate her. The girlfriend. The way Rick described her, the things he said.” She sipped her brandy. “Only I like Jana.” In fact, having Jana in her life had become much more important ever since the billboard incident. “Except I can’t reconcile who I know with who he described. Only one of us is telling the truth.”
She set down her glass and shifted in her seat. “I don’t mean that how it sounded. I don’t think Jana’s lied to me, and we both know Rick tends to say the wrong thing. I guess it was just a misunderstanding.”
“What’s your concern?” Agatha asked. “That Jana’s secretly only dating your brother for the money and potential lifestyle?”
Beth didn’t want to admit that, but knew her silence was its own answer.
“It’s happened a bunch of times in the past,” she said instead. “And then there’s what Mom did with men.”
Her mother had always been looking for a man to take care of her. Caryn would seduce them with talk of the adventures they would have together. While she always came through on being game for anything, she also insisted on expensive gifts or help paying the bills in return.
“Jana isn’t your mother, and she’s not the women from Rick’s past. Maybe you should consider judging her for what she has and hasn’t done instead of by your brother’s history.”
“You’re right.”
Agatha sighed. “But?”
“I need to take care of him,” she admitted. “Rick doesn’t see the world as it is.”
“Oh, he’s very clear on the world, but again, we’ll agree to disagree. Jana’s your friend.”
“Rick’s my brother.” The words were automatic and defensive. And while she was desperate to have a friend in her life, family came first.
“So you’ve made up your mind. You’re Team Rick.”
“I’ve always been Team Rick.”
“You have, and your loyalty is admirable. I just hope you’ll consider that this time around, you might want to think about being Team Jana, as well. To be blunt, my dear, she didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Unless she’s dating Rick because he’s a surgeon and she doesn’t care about him at all.”
“Quite the leap.”
Beth thought about Jana recalling Rick asking her out. He’d said she glowed. Jana had been starry-eyed and hopeful and genuine.
“I don’t know what to believe,” she admitted.
“I hope that’s true. Because making up your mind before you have all the facts may cost you a friendship, and that’s something you would regret for a very long time.”
* * *
Beth almost didn’t show up for her shift at the food bank. She’d also debated bringing sandwiches, as was their thing now. She both wanted and didn’t want to see Jana. While part of her missed hanging out with her friend, part of her couldn’t get past the voice that whispered she was only interested in Rick because of what she could get from him. Awful and judgy, but also the truth.
In the end, she packed the picnic basket and arrived right on time. When she saw Jana, she smiled and waved, then went back to work. But as the time grew closer to six, she found herself fighting nerves and wishing for a reason to simply duck out without speaking to her friend.
At the end of their shift, she collected the basket from her car and went out to the tables behind the food bank. There were a few clouds in the sky, and the temperature was cooler than usual. Beth slipped on her jean jacket and waited for Jana to appear. A minute or so later, her friend walked out. They stared at each other without speaking, as if they were waiting for the other one to speak first.
“Are we okay?” Jana asked, her voice tentative.
Emotions rose inside Beth. A simple enough question and one for which she didn’t seem to have an answer. Except she found herself wanting to move close to hug Jana and swear that yes, they were fine.
“I don’t know,” she admitted. “That evening was so strange and confusing.”
Jana’s chin came up. “It was the same for me. I can’t believe you never said his name.”
Beth blinked. “Excuse me?”
“You never said Rick’s name. You said ‘my brother’ but never ‘Rick.’ I know you didn’t do it on purpose, but it was so shocking when I realized you were his sister. If you’d called him by name, we might have put all this together.”
There was a perspective, Beth thought in surprise, because one of her complaints was that Jana never called Rick by name, either. She thought back to their conversations and couldn’t remember what she’d done. It was definitely possible that she’d never actually said the R word at all.
“That makes me feel foolish,” she admitted, relaxing a little. “How could we both have avoided actual names?”
Jana managed a faint smile. “Not just us, but your brother as well.”
Beth nodded, remembering Jana mentioning that the night of the very awkward, totally uncomfortable dinner. She knew she had a decision to make. Either she trusted her friend or she didn’t. The bottom line was she wanted Jana in her life. Their relationship was important to her, and she didn’t want to mess it up.
“How about from now on we name everything?” Beth suggested. “People mostly, because while I happen to know this table likes to be called George, admitting it would get weird.”
She waited to see what Jana would do. She figured the other woman could easily dismiss her and walk away. Thankfully Jana grinned and walked toward the table.
“George? He told me he liked to be called Stan.”
Beth laughed, and they both sat down.
“What a mess,” she said as she opened the basket. “All of it. I’m sorry things were unsettled. It’s hard to reconcile who you are with how my brother described you.” She handed over a chicken Waldorf salad sandwich and a to-go container of the store’s popular broccoli salad.
She looked up. “He only said good things. It’s just how he phrased them. You know how he is.”
Jana hesitated. “He can see the world in a different way.”
“Absolutely. Plus I’m protective. He and I look out for each other, so I went on alert, which I wouldn’t have done if I’d known you were the woman in his life.”
“I get that,” Jana said quietly. “When he took me home, Rick talked about the other women he’s dated. The ones who were in it for what they could get. You’re worried I’m one of them. Or just as bad, that I’ve played you.”
Beth did her best not to shift on her seat. While that had been her first reaction, she knew it wasn’t a rational one. “How exactly were you going to play me? Our meeting was totally random. It’s not as if you were waiting for me to apply to be a volunteer here so you could become my mentor and then secretly date my brother.”
Jana picked up her sandwich. “If I had that much power, I’d use it to win the lottery.”
“So would I.”
Jana drew in a breath. “I don’t care that Rick’s a doctor. I mean, it’s who he is, but it’s not why I’m going out with him.”
“I know.”
“I really didn’t know you were his sister,” Jana added.
Beth nodded. “I believe you. I didn’t know, either.” She smiled. “Actually, I did know I’m his sister, but you know what I mean.”
Jana grinned. “I do. You said you and Rick were always tight when you were kids. Where were your parents?”
Beth paused with a bite of salad on her fork. “We never knew our dad. He might have been around when I was a baby, but I don’t remember. For all I know, we have different fathers. Our mom wasn’t exactly into commitments or anything conventional. Her idea of fun was living on the edge. The more dangerous something was, the more she wanted to do it. ‘Go out in blaze of glory,’” Beth added, using air quotes. “Although in her case it wasn’t an expression. She meant actual fire.”
“That’s scary, especially for a little kid. Linnie is always up for an adventure, but in a safe way.”
“Mom didn’t believe in safe. I knew I was all that stood between Rick and the world, and I made sure I was there.”
Jana’s expression softened. “I get that. Magnolia, Teddy’s oldest, keeps taking on too much responsibility with the other kids. It started when she lost her mom. I’m sorry you had to deal with that. Growing up is hard enough without that added pressure. I know Rick’s grateful for all you did.”
“Thanks. We knew we always had each other.” Beth thought about that time in her life. “The guys Mom dated didn’t much like my brother. Looking back, I wonder if his intelligence intimidated them. Some of them took on the task of making a man of him, which usually involved a lot of physical activities that Rick failed at. Some of them thought they could beat the smart out of him.”
Beth was used to the memories, but Jana flinched. “I’m so sorry. That’s awful.”
“It was, but it never got him down. He would just wait out the guy, because Mom always moved on.” She hesitated, then decided not to mention how Caryn had used men to get what she could from them. No way Jana would see that as just information and not as a comparison.
Memories surfaced—the ugly ones she mostly tried to forget.
“When I was thirteen, one of my mom’s boyfriends attacked me.” She kept the story short and left out most of the details. Even so, Jana put down her sandwich and touched her belly as if the food there had just turned.
“He saved you,” she breathed. “I’ve noticed the scar, of course, but I didn’t have any idea where it came from.”
“He could have been killed,” Beth said quietly. “He could have died protecting me. I know he’s okay, but sometimes I let myself think about all the ways that night could have gone wrong. It’s only one of a thousand reasons why I’m so protective of him. He’s my family, and I would do anything for him.”
“Of course you would. That’s a good thing.”
“I worry about him,” she admitted. “The whole dating thing is complicated because honestly, in the past he’s had the worst taste in women. If he had better skills, maybe I could let it go. It’s why I go to the bad place. I don’t mean to. I keep hoping he’ll meet a nice surgeon or maybe a radiologist. Someone who understands his world and isn’t in it for what they can get.”
Jana’s warm expression froze. “Are you saying that’s why I’m dating him?”
Beth stiffened, instantly aware that she’d said the wrong thing. “No. Of course not. You’re my friend. I get where you’re coming from. You’re not like the woman I thought he was seeing.”
“A single mom who works as a receptionist?” Jana’s voice was cool. “Because I’m not all that far from that, am I? I’m just the slut who doesn’t know who my daughter’s father is, so you’re probably right to be worried.”
She put down her sandwich. “That’s what you think of me, isn’t it?”
“No! Jana, please. I wasn’t trying to insult you or imply anything awful about you. I’m sorry. Please, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You just said you start from the bad place, so I think you do mean to insult me. I think your reaction the other night was honest. I’m not a doctor. I’m studying to be a nurse, but that wasn’t on your list of approved professions. Apparently I’m good enough to hang out with but not good enough for Rick to date.”
She pointed at her half-eaten meal. “Thanks for dinner, but I need to get home.”
Beth watched her go. It was only after Jana had walked back into the building that she realized she should have stopped her. Except there had been a fair amount of truth in what Jana had said. It wasn’t pretty, but it was real. Beth had judged her in all the ways she’d implied. While she was willing to trust the friend she knew, deep down inside, wasn’t she worried that Jana was—as she’d said—not good enough for Rick?
Which made her a bitch and a bit of a hater. It also meant she might very well have lost her friend.
* * *
Jana was practically frothing by the time she got home. With her brother still working and the kids with Dex, the house was silent, but for once she didn’t find the quiet comforting. As she couldn’t settle, she spent the next hour pacing rather than using the time to study. She was so pissed, but she knew that under the energy was a lot of hurt she didn’t want to face.
Dex arrived home with the kids around seven. After the usual wild and loud greeting, everyone got settled in the family room for a little wind-down time. But instead of leaving, Dex sat down with the battered copy of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and picked up where Teddy had left off. Jana told herself to use the time to get a few things done, but found herself pulled into the story, drawn by Dex’s perfect “radio voice” and the adventures of the four siblings.
She dropped onto the sofa next to Linnie and pulled her daughter close. Linnie snuggled in and whispered, “I love this story.”
“Me, too.”
Ninety minutes later, the younger kids were in bed and the two oldest were in their rooms. Dex followed Jana back into the family room before asking, “Want to talk about it?”
“I’m fine.”
He flashed her his famous smile. “You are such a bad liar. I’m not saying that isn’t a good thing, but I could see the second I walked in that something had happened.” He sat on the sofa and patted the cushion next to him. “Tell Uncle Dex what’s going on.”
She drew in a breath, then eased into an overstuffed chair opposite the sectional. “Things blew up with Beth tonight.”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know. She was talking about Rick and how she worries about him and that she’s always been afraid he would get involved with the wrong sort of woman.”
“She doesn’t trust his judgment?”
“No, and just between us, I wouldn’t trust his judgment, and we’re just dating. Plus it turns out there were other women in his past who took advantage of him, so she has reason to be cautious.”
“Sounds reasonable. So what’s the problem?”
She glared at him. “You know what the problem is.”
“She thinks you’re not good enough for her brother.”
The blunt words made her wince. “That’s so harsh.”
“Am I wrong?”
“No. She wasn’t directly talking about me, but when she described the woman she always hoped Rick would fall for, it definitely wasn’t anyone like me.” She slid to the front of the seat and stared at him. “I get I have a checkered past. I’ve screwed up big-time. I’m flawed. But I would never go out with a guy because he was rich or successful. I care about the person.”
“Does Beth believe that?”
“I don’t know, and that’s where it all went wrong. The way she acted the other night…” She sucked in a breath. “If you could have seen her face when she realized I was the one dating her brother. She was upset and disapproving. Part of me understands that she’s protective, but she knows me. Or she should. I’m a good person.”
“So what happened tonight?”
“She was going on about the perfect woman, and I realized I would never be what she wanted for him. I told her I was obviously good enough to hang out with but not good enough for her brother to date. Then I stomped out.”
The smile returned. “You always did have style.”
“Thanks, but this time style isn’t enough.” She glared at him. “She should be a better friend.”
“I agree.”
“And she’s wrong about me.”
“Yes, she is. So what are you going to do?”
Jana frowned. “There isn’t anything to do.”
“I meant are you and Beth still going to be friends or is that done? And if the friendship is over, what about dating Rick? If things get serious, then Beth is going to be a part of your life, kid. You said they’re tight which means there’s no escaping her. If you want the relationship to work with him, you’re going to have to find a way to get along with his sister.”
She knew the truth of his words, but she didn’t like it. “I’m not the problem. She is.”
“I’ve always admired how mature you are.”
She stuck her tongue out at him, then flopped back against the chair. Dex was right about all of it. If she wanted to keep seeing Rick then she had to solve “the Beth problem.” And although she knew she’d been in the right, there was also a slight possibility she hadn’t helped by walking out of their dinner.
“How did this get so twisted so fast?” she muttered.
“Rick screwed up. He should have told you both when he figured out you knew each other.”
“He thought it was going to be a great surprise.”
Something flashed in Dex’s eyes, but he didn’t speak.
“What?” she demanded. “You’re thinking something.”
“I hope his motivation is that pure.”
“What does that mean?”
Dex paused before speaking. “I don’t know the guy, so I could be completely wrong.”
“But?”
“What if he’s better at all this than everyone thinks? He’s figured out what works for him, and that’s acting like the hapless nerd. What if he knows exactly what he’s doing?”
Jana tried to consider Dex’s point, but honestly she couldn’t reconcile a secretly smooth romantic player with the guy she knew.
“I can’t see it,” she admitted. “He’s too awkward. Too honest.”
Dex held up a hand. “Like I said, you’re the one who knows him. Not me. It was just a thought.”
“I know you’re looking out for me, and I appreciate it, but Rick’s a good guy.”
He rose and walked over to the chair, then pulled her to her feet and hugged her.
“That’s what I want for you,” he told her. “A good guy. If you’re happy, I’m happy.”
He kissed the top of her head. “I’m going home. See you soon.”
She walked him to the front door, then closed and locked it behind him. Teddy had clients until nine and would let himself in the back door.
She checked on Atlas and Magnolia. The former was already in bed, asleep, and the latter smiled at her, looking up from the book she was reading.
“You’ll turn your light out at nine thirty?” Jana asked.
Magnolia sighed. “I’m very responsible. You don’t have to worry about me.”
“I can’t help it. I love you. Worry comes with the package. Night.”
After a quick peek at a sleeping Linnie, then Orchid, Jana made her way to her own room and shut the door. Her mind was swirling with thoughts from her conversation with Dex.
She appreciated his ability to get to the heart of the problem. If she wanted to keep seeing Rick, she had to deal with Beth. Just as important, excluding Rick, she’d liked having the other woman as a friend. Which meant she had to find a solution, although what it might be eluded her.
Her phone buzzed. She glanced at the screen and saw Rick had texted, asking if he could call her. Instead of answering in kind, she pushed the button to dial his number.
“I know the cool kids don’t want to actually talk on the phone,” he said with a chuckle. “I can’t help it. I like the sound of your voice.”
And just like that, all her upset faded. “I like the sound of your voice, too.”
“Yeah? That makes me happy. So, I was wondering if I could cook you dinner. I only know how to make one thing, but it’s pretty good.”
She heard the smile in his voice and couldn’t help laughing. “You sound sure of yourself.”
“When I got my first place, I made it every weekend for six months. You know, to get it right.”
A simple confession that touched her in ways he could never understand. Dex was wrong about Rick—the man was exactly who he said. He was sweet and caring, and he tried so hard to do the right thing.
“I’d love to have you cook me dinner,” she told him.
“For sure? That’s great. I can’t wait, Jana.”
They settled on a date and time, then talked for a few more minutes before hanging up. When she’d set her phone on her nightstand, she headed for the bathroom to get ready for bed. Whatever Beth thought of her didn’t matter, she told herself. She liked Rick a lot, and she was going to continue to see him. Because men like him didn’t come around very often, and there was no way Jana was going to lose him—not without a fight.