Chapter 12
12
Beth carefully stored the celebration cupcakes she’d bought in the food bank’s storeroom refrigerator until after her shift. She’d ordered them as soon as she’d received Jana’s text about making it into nursing school. They were two parts “yay for my friend” and one part “holy crap—how do I tell her about Teddy?” Which made them celebration and guilt cupcakes, she supposed. Not that she had anything to be guilty about, she told herself as she transferred pints of blueberries from the big crates onto the display in the produce section. She was a single adult. Teddy was a single adult. They could go out if they wanted to.
Which sounded fine, but with Jana dating Rick, it was all so…twisted. Okay, not twisted exactly, but strange. And she’d been such a cow about Jana dating Rick. What if Jana wanted payback for that? Beth tried telling herself Jana wasn’t that kind of person, but wasn’t sure she deserved her friend’s grace.
There was also the possibility that Teddy had already told Jana about asking her out to dinner and Jana was fine with it, but why be rational when there was so much worrying she could do instead?
Finally her shift ended. She collected the cupcakes and the sandwiches she’d brought and went to their usual table out back. Jana was already there and smiled at her.
“Next time I bring the food. Seriously, you have to let me. You’re doing all the work.”
Beth laughed. “This is where I remind you that I have a sandwich shop. Pulling together whatever’s left over for our dinner is easy.”
“Not the point. Next time I’m taking over.”
“If you insist. But first, there’s these.” Beth set the small bakery box on the table. “Ta-da and congratulations on getting into nursing school. I never doubted you, but it’s nice the admissions department agreed with me.”
Jana pressed a hand to her chest. “Thank you.” She opened the box and grinned at the two cupcakes, each overly frosted, then topped with a little plastic sign reading, “Congratulations, Superstar.”
“I wanted them to put on a little stethoscope, but they didn’t have any.”
“I love them just as they are. This is so thoughtful.”
They hugged, then sat down.
“Are you excited and nervous or just excited?” Beth asked as she passed out sandwiches and salad.
“Both,” Jana admitted. “I’m terrified I won’t be able to get through the curriculum. It’s going to be daunting for sure.”
“You’ll do great. You’ve practically gotten straight A’s at community college.”
“That’s different. I’ll be moving right into more advanced science subjects, along with things like anatomy. Plus I’ll be taking a full load rather than going part-time like I have been.”
“That will be a change.” Beth hadn’t been to college, but she would guess that three or four science classes a quarter would be challenging. “So you won’t be working?”
“Not once I start there. I’ve been saving as much as I can to cover my expenses. Teddy agrees this is the best way for me to be successful in the program. He’s going to help where he can. And Dex will pitch in, too.”
“Dex is Teddy’s friend, right?” she asked without thinking, then wished she could call back the question. A week ago, it would have been as innocent as it seemed. In a few minutes, when she confessed all, it would sound like she was fishing for information. “As in Dex Thursdays for the kids.”
“That’s him.” Jana rolled her eyes. “He’s annoyed with me for applying for financial aid. He offered to pay for college when I started back, but I want to get through it on my own. Maybe it sounds silly to him, but I have something to prove to myself. I need to be capable and handle it.”
Another admirable quality, Jana thought, trying to remember why she’d been so upset at the thought of Jana dating her brother. And speaking of which, she needed to just say it.
“You’re doing it all,” she told her friend. “I admire that.”
Jana laughed. “Don’t give me too much credit. I struggle, but I’m in a good place right now.” Her expression turned shy. “Rick was really happy for me. He mentioned something about us going away for the weekend.”
Beth waited for the jolt of apprehension, but there wasn’t any. A relief for sure. She could say with all honesty she was totally and completely on board with their relationship.
“That will be fun. You’re both working so hard—a break would be really good, and it’s always fun to go away with a guy.”
“The thought of it makes me nervous,” Jana admitted. “Which is weird because I really like him. I guess going away makes things seem more real. But I’m excited.”
Beth cleared her throat. “So, I have some news. Teddy stopped by the store.”
Jana looked at her, as if waiting for more, because saying her brother had come into Surf Sandwiches wasn’t exactly earth-shattering.
“We went for a walk,” she added, trying to sound calm instead of excited. “He, ah, he asked me out.” She looked at Jana. “On a date.”
Her friend’s eyes widened as she set down her sandwich. Beth held her breath, waiting for more of a response. Was Jana going to be okay with it, or was she—
“OMG! Teddy likes you!” Jana laughed. “He asked you out. That’s so great. He’s been on his own since we lost Valonia, and I’ve been worried about him. He needs more in his life. I’ve told him that, but he said he wasn’t ready or wasn’t interested. He picked you.”
Beth sagged in her seat. “I thought you might be mad.”
“Why? You’re my friend. Why wouldn’t I want someone like you for my brother?”
The kind words made her feel worse. “Because I was so terrible before and said things and made a mess and hurt your feelings.”
Jana waved that away. “It’s done. I get what happened and why, and you were sorry. We’ve moved on. Back to Teddy. Interesting that he never said anything to me about seeing you.” She grinned. “Believe me, he’s going to suffer for that.”
Beth felt herself relax. “I’m glad you’re okay with us going out. I mean, it’s probably not going anywhere, but I was worried.”
“Don’t be.” Jana picked up her sandwich. “Just to be clear, Teddy really hasn’t dated since his wife died. I mean, no one. So I’m asking you as my friend—don’t break his heart.”
Beth stared at her, wondering if Jana was making another joke, but the other woman seemed serious.
“I’m hardly the heartbreaking type.”
“I’m not so sure. Just be careful with him, okay?”
“I promise.”
* * *
Beth felt like a character in an old 1990s sitcom. She’d pretty much emptied her closet looking for something to wear to dinner with Teddy. She’d tried on dresses, capris, dressy jeans and everything else she owned and hadn’t been happy with anything. As he was due to arrive in twenty minutes, ordering something online wasn’t going to work.
“It’s just dinner,” she told herself. She’d eaten the meal her entire life. It was no big deal. As for the date aspect of the evening, she could date. She used to date. Yes, it had been a long time, but Teddy wasn’t exactly a player. He was a single dad of three kids. So neither of them were experts—they could figure it out together.
That realization calmed her for about seven seconds, until she realized he would be arriving in fifteen minutes and she was still standing in her bra and bikini briefs.
She shrieked once, then grabbed the navy sleeveless dress she’d tried on first. Whether or not she loved it, the dress was going to have to work. She was out of time and options.
She zipped it up, then carefully fluffed her hair before spraying it. She’d curled it earlier and had applied a little makeup. Anything to compensate for the fact that Teddy had seen her in her work uniform and, yes, a hairnet.
She grabbed the small cross-body bag she’d dug out of her closet. She’d already transferred her essentials to it and would leave her utilitarian everyday backpack bag at home. As she hurried to the front of the house, Agatha fell into step with her.
“Nervous?” her aunt asked.
“Petrified. I may vomit.”
Agatha laughed. “You’ll be fine. Dating is like riding a bike. The skills will come back to you.”
“What if I never had skills?”
Her aunt’s expression turned speculative. “You like this man, don’t you?”
“I don’t know him well enough to say how I feel. I’m reacting to some strange chemical attraction that I can’t seem to get under control.” She pressed a hand to her belly and wished the faint nausea would go away. Or that the evening was behind her and she could finally relax.
“There’s something about him,” she added. “He’s like a drug.”
Agatha hugged her. “That makes me so happy.”
“That I’m obsessing about someone I don’t know and who may be a serial killer?”
“I doubt he’s killed even one person. Besides, he’s Jana’s brother, so he comes with excellent references.”
Her aunt was making sense. Unfortunately, all the sense in the world was no match for her quivering, hopeful, terrified state of mind.
“I think I need therapy,” she said, then forced herself to suck in a breath. “Calm. I need to be calm.”
Before she had time to practice finding her zen state, the doorbell rang. She flinched at the sound.
“I can’t do this,” she whispered.
“Open the door? Nonsense. You’ve done it hundreds of times.”
Beth gave her a sharp “you’re not helping” glare before walking to the small foyer and opening the door.
“Hi,” she said, then nearly fainted at the sight of him.
He looked amazing. All tall and handsome, wearing a button-down shirt with dark trousers. He was lean and muscled, with those movie-star chiseled features. And his mouth—the one smiling at her. If only he would kiss her, she could die happy.
“Hi,” he said, his voice low and sexy. “You look beautiful.”
She blinked. Sure he was being polite, but she was fairly certain no one had ever used that particular B word to describe her before. Ian had always said she was cute. Beautiful was much, much better.
“Come in,” she said, stepping back. “This is my aunt. Agatha, Teddy Mead.”
They shook hands.
“Beth tells me you practice Chinese medicine. That’s so interesting.”
He gave her an easy smile. “Nothing so grand. I specialize in acupuncture.”
“Oh.” Agatha took a step back. “Needles. I’m not a fan.”
“They don’t hurt, if that’s your concern.”
Agatha didn’t look convinced. “Needles hurt. It’s one of the laws of physics. The seventh, I believe. Or maybe the eighth.”
“I’m sure you’re right,” he said politely, but Beth thought she saw a hint of a smile in his straight mouth.
“Shall we?” Beth said, then turned to her aunt. “I’ll see you later.”
“Text if you’re going to stay out all night,” Agatha told Beth.
“Very funny.”
Beth and Teddy walked outside. He motioned to his large SUV parked in the driveway, then opened the passenger door for her.
She slid onto the seat and tried to regulate her breathing. Everything about this moment felt surreal. That she was on a date, that she was with Teddy. A week ago she hadn’t even met him, and now she felt as if her life had been changed forever.
Teddy went around to his side and got in beside her.
“I’m nervous,” he said as he started the engine.
She stared at him. “You are?”
He smiled at her. “Of course. I’ve been on edge all day.”
“Me, too.”
But her being anxious about their date made sense, while him being unsettled seemed odd. He was amazing, and she was just plain normal. Even so, his admission gave her comfort.
“Who has the kids tonight?” she asked.
“My friend Dex is over and hanging with Jana and Linnie.”
“Jana appreciates that Dex takes Linnie on Thursdays when she has her food bank shift. He sounds like a great guy.”
“He is. He’s seen me through some rough times.”
“He doesn’t have children of his own?” she asked.
“No. I’m sure he wants them, but Dex hasn’t found the right woman.”
Something Beth could relate to. She’d yet to find the right man. Obviously it hadn’t been Ian.
They talked about their respective days as he navigated the usual Malibu traffic. She was just about to ask him where they were going when he pulled in front of a low, one-story building with a valet sign out front. Her breath caught as she took in the elegant arched entry and the lush landscaping of the exclusive, upscale restaurant.
“We’re eating here?” she asked. “But how? It takes months to get a reservation.”
Teddy gave her a modest shrug. “I know the owner and made a call.”
“Impressive connections.”
The valet opened her door and held out his hand to assist her out of the vehicle. She stepped down and told herself that if any famous people were dining inside, she wouldn’t gawk at them. She was a seasoned Malibu resident. Celebrity sightings were a part of life. Then Teddy moved close and put his hand on the small of her back. Her body went on instant high alert as she instinctively moved closer to him. The good news was that as long as Teddy was nearby, she doubted she would notice if they were seated next to one of the Hemsworth brothers.
They were shown to a quiet corner table with a view of the ocean. Their server poured water and left them with menus. Teddy put his down without glancing at it. Instead his attention was on her.
“I’m still nervous,” he told her, “but happy to be with you.”
“I feel the same.”
“So we’ll figure this out together.” He leaned toward her. “Jana mentioned you were divorced.”
“Yes, for over a year now. You said you hadn’t dated since your wife died. I haven’t dated since my divorce.” She picked up the menu, then put it down. “I needed to heal and think things through. I never thought I’d get a divorce. I thought we’d be together forever, so when we weren’t, it was an adjustment.”
She offered a rueful smile. “Ian wanted to keep the house, and I had no interest in it, so he bought me out. I took the money and invested in Surf Sandwiches. It turns out expanding my business was a great distraction.”
“Also a smart decision. The place is busy. You made the right move.”
“I think so.”
“I’m having dinner with a successful entrepreneur,” he teased. “I should have dressed better.”
“You’re dressed just fine.”
He brushed the front of his shirt. “And no spit-up stains. It’s nice to have all three kids past that stage.”
“Not a baby person?”
“I learned to be. I think I was like every other guy. I wanted to be a father, but I didn’t think through the whole logistics of raising kids until Valonia got pregnant.”
“An unexpected baby?” she asked.
He chuckled. “It was more we didn’t do anything to prevent it from happening.”
“You mentioned you were introduced by friends and clicked right away. So no drama in the relationship?”
“None. I figured out I wanted to marry her within two days.” The smile returned. “She took a day or two longer, but we both sensed a connection right away.”
“I can’t imagine what that would be like,” she admitted. “The instant knowing.”
“You don’t believe in that?”
“It’s more I haven’t experienced it. I seem to be a more slow and steady kind of person.”
At least, that was how it had been with Ian, she thought. Their first few dates had been a little awkward, but they’d both hung in there and had eventually figured out what worked for them. Until it hadn’t.
“I don’t know what that’s like,” he admitted.
“There’s an element of caution that’s probably both good and bad.” She hesitated, then added, “My mother was very much a ‘just go for it’ kind of person. She wanted to experience everything, and if it was dangerous, all the better. But when I was little, that kind of attitude frightened me. I wanted security and safety more than adventure.”
“Of course you did.” His voice was gentle. “Kids need to feel secure most of all. Once they know they’re taken care of, they can be comfortable exploring.”
She appreciated that he understood what she was trying to say. “My philosophy hasn’t changed all that much. I tend to think things through and act sensibly.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“It’s not exactly exciting.”
Their server returned to take their drink orders and explain about the specials. Beth ordered a glass of white wine, and Teddy did the same.
When they were alone, she said, “Did you and Valonia always plan on having a big family?”
“After Atlas was born, we debated whether or not to have a third kid. Then she got pregnant. The decision was made for us. I don’t know if we would have kept having children. Three seems like plenty.”
“But you love them.”
“Every second of every day. They get me through.” He looked at her. “You and Ian didn’t want children?”
“We did.” She paused and tried to remember the conversations she and her ex had had about starting a family. “At least at first. But we wanted to wait a couple of years, and then somehow the idea got lost.”
Their server returned with their drinks and left. Beth picked up her wine and took a sip.
“I think we drifted apart. Toward the end, we seemed to be living separate lives. One day he said he thought our marriage was in trouble. The words shocked me, but I knew he wasn’t wrong.”
She explained about how they’d made the decision to work on their marriage. “We started counseling and doing all the things. After a couple of months, we had an assessment meeting with our counselor.” She drew in a breath and braced herself for the telling.
“I was so happy. I talked about how close we’d gotten and how in love with Ian I was. I said that having things fall apart had ended up making them so much better.”
Teddy’s expression turned sympathetic. “Ian didn’t agree.”
“No. He said while he appreciated that we’d both tried, he wasn’t in love with me anymore, and he wanted a divorce. Then he walked out of our session, and that was it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Thanks. Once I got over the shock and we split up, it didn’t take me long to realize we really hadn’t had a very good marriage. I healed and moved on. Ian is engaged, by the way, and I only wish him the best.”
She realized she meant the words, which was a nice testament to her character. The shock of finding out had both faded and given her the nudge she’d needed to start looking around for a life of her own.
“You’re still friends?”
“What? We’re not. I found out about the engagement…” She paused, suddenly embarrassed for Ian. Strange but true. “He proposed on a billboard, and I happened to see it.”
Teddy looked surprised. “People do that?”
“I guess. Agatha talks about how tacky that was.”
Teddy’s lips twitched. “I have to agree with your aunt.”
They looked at the menus and then ordered their meals. Conversation flowed easily, and Beth found herself relaxing a little. By the time they agreed to split the dessert special, she was able to see past Teddy’s very attractive outside enough to admire the man he was on the inside.
There was a brief tussle over the check. She tried to pay, but he wouldn’t let her. As they walked to the valet station, she wished there was a way to extend the evening. She wasn’t ready to say good-night but couldn’t think of anything for them to do. She wasn’t the type to want to hang out at a bar, and inviting him in for coffee seemed too suggestive.
He pulled out of the parking lot, but instead of turning toward her house, he went in the opposite direction. Five minutes later, he drove onto a lookout point where tourists frequently stopped to get pictures of the Southern California coastline.
The sun had long since set, so there wasn’t much of a view beyond lights twinkling in the distance, and there were no other cars there. Despite that, Teddy parked, then turned off the engine, although he left the radio on its easy listening channel. Before she could ask what they were doing here, he got out of the SUV and walked around to her side. After opening the door, he held out his hand to her.
“Dance with me?”
Three simple words that shouldn’t have meant anything sent awareness skittering through her. Deep in her belly, muscles clenched, and she felt a faint prickling slipping down her spine.
“Of course,” she whispered, stepping down and moving close. As if on cue, the current song ended, and “At Last” began to play. Teddy settled one hand on her waist, took her fingers in the other and began to move.
She’d never been much of a dancer but found him easy to follow. The night was still with the sound of the surf below blending with the rush of cars driving by. There was no moon, but overhead, airplanes headed either to or from LAX, their lights reminding her of falling stars.
She closed her eyes and let herself only feel the moment. Their bodies weren’t touching, which was probably for the best. Being this close to him was heady enough. If there was too much contact, she might lose herself forever and never find her way back.
This man, she thought hazily. What was it about him that captured her attention so thoroughly? She’d never felt this way before—not even in high school, where crushes had been a regular part of her teenaged life.
“Beth?”
She opened her eyes and looked at him. He was watching her intently.
“I enjoyed tonight very much,” he told her.
“Me, too.”
“I want to see you again.”
She smiled. “If you didn’t, I’d be very sad.”
She expected him to respond with something funny, but instead he leaned close and brushed his mouth against hers. The unexpected kiss burned through her, igniting a need unlike anything she’d felt before. The wanting was as instant as it was intense. Every cell in her body screamed at her to close the distance between them so she could feel all of him pressing against all of her.
She must have made a sound, because he drew back and looked at her. “Are you all right?”
“No.” She tried to catch her breath. “What just happened?”
“I kissed you.”
Despite her confusion, she managed a laugh. “I got that part. I meant my reaction to it.”
The second she said the words, she had the awful thought that maybe her attraction had been one-sided. Maybe he hadn’t felt anything but regular kiss stuff.
“Not just yours,” he told her, right before he kissed her again.
The need returned, along with heat and desire. She felt both lost and rescued at the same time. As the kiss went on—still chaste with their bodies held at a careful distance—she realized the restraint was self-preservation on both their parts. Because if they gave in even a little, they might not have the control to stop.
He stepped back. “When can I see you again?”
“Is tomorrow too soon?”
He grinned. “Tomorrow is perfect.”