Chapter 11
11
Beth did her best to put the irresistible and unobtainable Teddy out of her mind. Monday at the shop, she focused solely on work and her employees, doing her best to act completely normal. As no one seemed to be whispering about her behind her back, she thought maybe she was doing all right. Sure, she was still thinking about him every forty seconds, but that was okay. By this time next week, she would bet she could go a whole ninety seconds without him crossing her mind.
The lunch crowd poured in, and the line of waiting customers stretched out the door. Beth stepped up to the counter, completing sandwiches and upselling the sides, while Kai and Albert expertly manned the cash registers. The small printer on the counter spit out phone orders one after the other.
By one thirty the crowd had thinned to something more manageable. Beth stayed up front until everyone had taken a break. She was about to retreat to her office when the front door opened and Teddy stepped inside the store.
In less than a nanosecond, the air went from normal to electrically charged. Her chest got tight, and she couldn’t catch her breath. His gaze scanned the space before settling on her face, and while it was very unlikely, she would swear she heard the upswell of a movie score at that point where the hero returns to claim his woman.
He was just as gorgeous as she remembered with deep blue eyes and dark hair. He had on jeans and a long-sleeved shirt—normal attire for the average American male, yet on him, it took on supermodel importance. She was instantly aware of her bright yellow apron over her Surf Sandwiches T-shirt and that she was wearing a hairnet and no makeup. Frustration joined the heat in her belly. Just once, couldn’t she dazzle?
He stepped toward her and smiled. Fortunately she’d thought to grab onto the counter so she didn’t fall over.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
“I came by earlier. You were slammed.”
“Lunch is like that around here.”
Wait, what? He’d come by earlier? To see her? No, that couldn’t be right. He must want a sandwich, and she sold sandwiches. Things were working out already.
“Can I, um, get you something?”
The smile returned, inspiring more heat and a nearly buzzing tingle in all her girl places.
“I thought maybe we could take a walk.”
He didn’t want a sandwich? Now she was totally confused, which must have shown, because Kai moved close and gave her a little push toward the back.
“Go ahead,” he told her. “Albert and I have this.” He turned to Teddy. “I’m Kai.”
“Teddy.”
Kai’s gaze was steady. “You’re a friend of Beth’s?”
“He’s Jana’s brother,” she said before retreating to the break room, where she ripped off the hairnet and apron and wondered what else she should do before taking a walk with Teddy. She had on shoes, so that was good, and she was familiar with the outdoors.
“Get a grip,” she whispered to herself as she pressed a hand to her belly. “He’s just a guy, and you’re acting weird.” Being overly cautious was one thing, but slipping into madness wasn’t okay.
It was just that being around him did something to her. Something she’d never experienced before and didn’t know how to deal with. She glanced at the small mirror by the lockers, brushed back a few stray hairs and headed to the front, where Teddy and Kai were talking. They both looked at her when she appeared, but she could only see Teddy.
She’d never considered looks especially important, but there was something about that man, she thought dreamily. Something that made her feel weak and strong at the same time. She was oh so grateful to be a single, age-appropriate woman in his presence. Not that he would be interested in her that way, she reminded herself. After all, they weren’t in the same league at all. Plus the whole “in love with his late wife” thing. So why was he here? Not that she would ask. She would simply enjoy the moment and overanalyze it later.
They walked outside. Teddy pointed back at the store. “I was reading the menu. Peanut butter and pickles almost make sense, but peanut butter and cold cereal?” He shuddered. “That sounds like something my kids would ask for.”
She smiled at him. “And you’d say no?”
He grinned. “I don’t know. They don’t get a lot of processed breakfast cereal, so I might say yes. It’s fortified, and the peanut butter would mitigate the sugar. But it’s not anything I’d want to eat.”
“You should try it before you judge,” she teased. “All the PB sandwiches are very popular with the high school crowd. Hey, wait a minute. The other night you ate chicken.”
He looked confused. “Asking or telling?”
“Pointing out that you ate chicken.”
“We all did. I barbecued it special for our meal.” His expression turned concerned. “Is that a problem?”
“You said you and Valonia had nothing in common and that you were a vegetarian.”
“I’m less committed these days,” he said with a smile. “We have meat-free days every week, but with the kids around and trying to get the right nutrients into them, I caved.” He studied her. “Do you think less of me now?”
“Of course not.” She couldn’t believe she’d blurted out the chicken thing. What did it matter? Why couldn’t she act normal?
They started walking along the sidewalk. Across the street was a huge public parking lot, and beyond that were the beach and the ocean. The sound of the surf was barely audible over the cry of the gulls and the traffic rushing by, but the scent of salt air carried to them. The afternoon was warm, the breeze light.
“How long have you owned Surf Sandwiches?” he asked.
“About fourteen years. I bought it from my aunt and uncle.” She didn’t mention the deal she’d made that they would help pay for Rick’s medical school tuition in return. “My mom died when Rick and I were young—I was barely a teenager. We went into foster care for about eighteen months. My mom and aunt were estranged, so Agatha didn’t know anything about her death. As Rick and I hadn’t seen her since we were maybe six and three, I never thought to have anyone try to find her.”
She told herself to stop talking, that he couldn’t possibly want to know all this, but somehow the words kept coming. “One day Agatha tried to find her sister, only to learn she’d died. She immediately started looking for us and then took us in. We were so grateful. Foster care was tough. Rick never talks about his time, but when we were back together, he was different. More withdrawn. I don’t know exactly. But the point is, Agatha saved us.”
“That was generous of her.”
She nodded. “She’s such a sweet and giving person. She and her husband never really wanted kids, and they had no idea how to be parents, but they made sure Rick and I knew they would be there for us, no matter what. I started working in the sandwich shop right away.”
“Did you like it?” he asked. “Was it meaningful or just a job?”
An interesting question. “I wanted to earn money as a way to keep me and Rick safe. You know, in case something bad happened again.” Because being ripped out of their home, separated and sent to live with strangers, had been terrifying.
“But aside from that, I did enjoy working in the shop. I liked the certainty of it, if that makes sense.”
He stopped and faced her. “You were what? Fifteen? Sixteen? How could you save enough money to keep your brother safe?”
“I couldn’t,” she admitted. “But I had to try. He needed me. Rick’s younger by three years, but it’s more than that. He was so smart. The other kids couldn’t handle it and picked on him. Sometimes the teachers didn’t know what to do with him.”
“You protected him.”
She nodded.
“I get that,” he told her. “I have a strong need to protect Jana.” One corner of his mouth turned up. “Although she would tell you that she can take care of herself.”
Beth laughed. “I hear that, too, but once the oldest, always the oldest. It’s a thing.”
They were looking at each other, eyes locked. She felt floaty and happy and couldn’t help wishing he would kiss her. Right there, in front of God and everyone. She wanted a kiss and so much more.
The need, the attraction were unfamiliar. Like being back in high school but without the cute clothes.
“I told you my wife’s been gone nearly five years,” he said.
Her stomach sank. Great. He’d figured out she was interested in him and was trying to let her down gently. The butterflies died, leaving only faint nausea and a need to run away to somewhere small and dark.
“I have three kids and a house that’s mostly in chaos,” he continued, his gaze intense. “I haven’t dated since I lost her. I didn’t want to. It wasn’t about being ready to move on so much as there not being a reason. I didn’t see the point. Until now.”
If she’d been a cartoon character, her eyes would have bugged out as someone in the Foley department made some comical sound in the background.
No, she told herself. He hadn’t said what she thought he’d said. He was him, and she was not what he was looking for.
“Would you have dinner with me?” he asked.
Her mind went blank. It totally emptied, and she could only stare at him.
“Why?” she squeaked, then cleared her throat. “I mean, why?”
He smiled. “I want to get to know you better. You intrigue me.”
That was good, right? Wasn’t it? She’d never intrigued anyone before. “But I was so awkward the other night. I was like a gecko trying to learn to crochet.”
He laughed. “That’s a very specific visual. You weren’t awkward, you were lovely. So, dinner?”
“Yes.” Of course. They could go to Paris if he wanted. Not that she knew where her passport was, but she could find it, and they could go right now. Or dinner would be good, too.
“I’m nervous,” he admitted. “But excited.”
“Me, too.”
“Is Friday too soon?”
If it were up to her, they would start their date now. But saying that might mean giving him second thoughts. “Friday’s perfect.”
He pulled out his phone. “Let me get your number.”
* * *
Jana had never taken dance as a child. Her mom had suggested it a few times, but Jana had been more of an outdoor kid than an indoor one. She would rather be running around and playing than in a dance studio somewhere, learning foundational steps and practicing them over and over.
Now, as she got out of her car and raced toward the house, she thought maybe she could do a grand jeté or two right there on the porch. Of course, if she was wrong, she would pull something or fall on her face, but did that really matter? Sometimes the happiness inside needed to be expressed in dance—even without professional training.
She leaped onto the porch, stumbled a little, then started laughing. She spun once and flung open the front door.
“Where are you?” she shouted into the house. She’d seen Dex’s SUV parked in front and knew he was somewhere inside.
“Family room. What’s up?”
She ran toward his voice, and when she saw him, she flung herself at him.
“I got in! I got in! I start in the fall and they sent me a financial aid package and I got in!”
Dex caught her and spun her around. “Good for you. That’s fantastic.”
The kids gathered around, cheering and jumping. Linnie hugged her.
“Mommy, you’re going to be a nurse.”
“I am.” Jana picked up her daughter and held her tight. “It’s going to mean more studying, but I’m ready.”
The other three wanted their hugs as well. Once they’d all collapsed on the sofa, Jana waved her phone. “I have to fill out the financial aid paperwork and get it back to them. But I’m pretty sure my tuition will be covered, and most of my books.”
That would mean she was only responsible for her labs and the normal fees that came with being in college.
“You worked hard,” Dex told her. “I’m proud of you.”
“Me, too. UCLA nursing school.” She squealed. “I got in and I got financial aid.”
A muscle in Dex’s cheek flexed. She pointed at him. “No! You’re not going to tell me you could have paid for school. We talked about this. I need to do it on my own.”
Linnie and Orchid looked at each other, as if they didn’t understand.
“Are you fighting?” Linnie asked, her voice concerned.
“Never.” Jana pulled her daughter onto her lap. “Dex is just as happy for me as you are.” She glanced at him, waiting for him to confirm.
He nodded. “Nursing school is great. I’m proud of your mom and impressed by how hard she’s working. But sometimes she can be stubborn.”
Magnolia looked at the two younger kids. “That’s when someone won’t change their mind, even when there’s a good reason why they should.”
“I’m not being stubborn,” Jana told her. “I’m being determined. I want to pay for college myself. It was my decision not to go when I graduated from high school. Back then it would have been easier. But I decided to go a different way.”
At the time she’d been so sure. Now, ten-plus years later, she was a single mom with minimal skills and no real way to support her daughter, and she wished she’d been a little more conventional. But there was no changing the past.
Linnie nodded slowly. “Now you have to figure something out.”
“Exactly. And that means paying for college myself. I don’t have the money sitting around, so I applied for financial aid, and I got it.” Wonderful news considering how much more expensive UCLA was going to be when compared with community college.
“Will I need financial aid?” Linnie asked, sounding worried.
Jana smiled at her. “I’ll have a good job by then, and I will have put money aside. You’ll be fine.”
“What about me?” Orchid asked.
“Dad has a college fund for each of us,” Magnolia told her. “We’re covered.”
Linnie hugged her. “I’m glad you got financial aid, Mommy. You’re going to be the best nurse ever.”
“Thank you, sweetie. I hope you’re right.”
* * *
Jana hovered in the hallway, trying not to look like a stalker. She was going to give Rick five more minutes, and if he didn’t show up by then, she would head downstairs to the derm office and start her day.
She supposed it would have made more sense to simply text him her good news, but she’d wanted to tell him in person. Rick was the kind of guy who would get how excited she was and want to celebrate with her.
She walked back and forth in front of the doors to his medical suite, stepping out of the way as patients arrived. She was just about to head to the elevator when he rounded the corner.
“Hi,” she said brightly, hurrying toward him.
He came to a stop and stared at her. There was no welcoming smile, no eager greeting. Instead he looked at her as if he barely knew who she was and wished she wasn’t there. She stumbled to a stop.
“You’re at my office,” he said, his tone more cool than friendly.
“I wanted to, uh, is everything all right?”
“I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
Nor did he want to. That much was clear.
The man standing in front of her was so different from the normally warm, friendly, affectionate guy she knew that it was almost like meeting a stranger.
All her happy feelings faded away. Suddenly her good news didn’t seem important, which meant she’d been standing in the hallway, waiting for him, for no reason at all.
“Did you want something?” he asked.
She hesitated. “I wanted to tell you I got into the UCLA School of Nursing. They notified me yesterday. It was my first choice because it’s such a great school.”
He stared at her blankly. “Why would you be going to nursing school?”
“To get my RN. We talked about this. Rick, what’s going on? You’re acting really strange.”
He glanced at his watch. “I have patients waiting. Can we discuss this later?”
“Of course.”
She stepped around him and walked to the elevator. When it arrived, she pushed the button for her floor. As the doors closed, she tried to figure out what had just happened. It was like the man she knew didn’t exist and a stranger had taken his place. Not just a stranger, she amended. Someone cold and distant who didn’t much like her.
She retreated to her small office, where she forced herself to focus on work. The frustrations of dealing with the various insurance companies and their ever-changing rules took up her morning and helped to distract her from what had happened earlier. At little before noon, someone knocked on her half-open door.
She glanced up and was surprised to see Rick standing there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand.
“I’m sorry,” he said by way of greeting. “About before. How I acted. Seeing you was a surprise. You’ve never just shown up at my office.”
She ignored the flowers. “You don’t have to worry. It won’t happen again.”
His shoulders slumped a little. “I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.” He set the bouquet on her desk and shoved his hands into his trouser front pockets. “I keep my work and my personal life separate. I compartmentalize because sometimes what I do is difficult. When I’m operating on someone, I need to be fully focused on that. When I leave the surgery center, I try to disconnect from what was happening there. I avoid overlap.”
She felt a little of her anger fade. “You’re saying I was out of context?”
“Yes. I had a patient first thing.” He glanced away. “I had to tell him something he didn’t want to hear. When I saw you, I was trying to figure out the best way to do that. Like I said, you surprised me, and I couldn’t unfocus on work.”
He sank down on the chair opposite. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Jana. I’m sorry.”
The last of her mad faded, and she realized that what she did in a day and what Rick did in a day had nothing in common. The man was busy saving lives. When things didn’t go well for him, it was a lot more than simply having to tell someone their mole removal was going to cost an extra fifty dollars.
“Oh, Rick.” She came to her feet and circled the desk. He rose and pulled her close.
“I’d never hurt you on purpose,” he murmured.
“I know. I promise not to surprise you like that. You’re right—you have to stay in your head for your patients. I can’t be a distraction.”
He drew back and smiled at her. “Tell me about nursing school. You got in. That’s exciting. I know how hard you’ve worked.”
She clutched his upper arms. “I also got financial aid, which is the best.”
“We have to celebrate.”
And here he was, she thought happily. The sweet, supportive guy she knew. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
“Not just dinner,” he told her. “Let’s go away for the weekend.” He hesitated. “Unless you think I’m rushing things.”
Her heart melted. “Going away sounds perfect. I’d need to talk to Teddy about keeping Linnie, but I don’t think that would be a problem. What about your schedule?”
“I could get a weekend off.” He brushed his mouth against hers. “Let me look at my calendar and get back to you. Then I’ll plan the whole weekend. It’ll be special for sure. For you, Jana.”
“Thank you.”
He kissed her again. “As much as I’d like to stay, I have patients, and you have to get to class. Can we talk later?”
“Yes, please.”
He left. She logged off her computer, then collected her backpack and the flowers. The sweet scent and perfect petals made her smile. After the disaster that was her last relationship, she was probably due for a little good luck in the romance department, but with Rick, she’d really hit the jackpot. Now that he’d explained himself, she understood what had gone wrong and vowed it would never happen again. Everyone had quirks, and his made perfect sense to her.
Still smiling, she walked toward her car. In a few weeks, she and Rick would go away for the weekend. She couldn’t wait. And between now and then, she should probably think about introducing him to Linnie. Because if it was up to her, Rick was going to be in her life for a very long time.