Chapter 27
27
Summer sped by. Jana worked an extra few hours a week to pad her savings account. By mid-August she was training her replacement and looking forward to her classes starting. She and Beth had decided that swimming lessons were more Jana and Linnie’s speed than horseback riding, and the three of them had signed up for classes at a local swim club. Her second week in the pool, Linnie had announced she was going to be an Olympic swimmer, which would have been funny if the instructor hadn’t mentioned the four-year-old seemed to have talent.
But getting serious about the sport was several years off. For now, they were simply learning about water safety and mastering different strokes.
Jana had never heard from Rick again, nor did she know what had happened with Galaxy. Beth had recently mentioned she hadn’t heard from her brother, which made Jana sad. She wished the two of them could have been as close as her and Teddy. But Beth was working hard to deal with her disappointment. Writing about her childhood with her brother and how he’d become someone else had started to morph into an actual story. In addition to the horseback riding and the swim lessons, Beth had signed up for a novel writing class. She was keeping busy, but Jana knew her friend still missed Teddy.
She crossed the yard and went through the gate in the back fence on her way to Teddy’s studio. The modest bungalow contained two treatment rooms, a waiting area, a bathroom with a shower, his office and a small kitchenette. There was also parking for several cars off the quiet residential street.
She let herself in and called out a greeting, then walked to her brother’s office.
“I’m heading out with the kids,” she said, then pulled a piece of paper out of her back pocket. “I have the lists.”
She’d offered to do the back-to-school shopping. Teddy had many wonderful qualities, but enjoying time at a mall wasn’t one of them.
“You sure about this?” he asked. “I can do it later.”
She sat down in one of the visitor chairs. “I don’t mind. They’re really good about it. Plus I plan to take advantage of Magnolia’s bossy side. Linnie is practically frantic with excitement about starting school. I’m not sure I’d be able to keep her focused on my own.”
Teddy grinned. “Magnolia does have mad skills. You’ll take the Suburban?”
She groaned. “Yes, I will drive the world’s largest vehicle so there’s room for everyone and all the packages.” She didn’t like borrowing Teddy’s car, but sometimes it made sense.
She got up to leave, then sank back down and stared at her brother.
“You’re being stupid,” she announced. “You’re still missing Beth, and I know she’s still missing you. I’m the one who was hurt, and I’ve long forgiven her. You should, too.”
His gaze was steady. “We agreed not to talk about this.”
“No, we didn’t. You said you didn’t want to talk about it anymore, but I never agreed.” She pointed at him. “You’re still in love with her. It’s been over two months. You’ve punished her enough. Now it’s time to go be with her and do the happy thing.”
“No.”
“Why? You’re so stubborn. It’s ridiculous. You’re wasting your life when everything you want is right there in front of you. Or it would be in front of you if you’d go see her. Eventually you’re going to figure out she’s exactly who you should be with, and you will have blown it.”
“I could say the same about you.”
Jana glared at him. “We’re not talking about me.”
“Why not? To quote someone in this room, it’s been two months. It’s time for you to do the happy thing.”
“My relationship with Dex is different. I’m trying to figure out how I feel about him.”
Teddy studied her before saying, “If you don’t know how you feel by now, maybe that’s the answer.”
“You’re changing the subject.”
“I am.”
“Fine.” She stood. “You’re making a huge mistake, Teddy. Beth’s great, and it’s not going to take very long for someone else to figure that out.”
She left before he could say anything and made her way through the gate and backyard. Once she was inside, she paused, then pulled her phone out of her pocket. Because it was possible her brother had a point.
I’m taking the kids shopping for back-to-school clothes, and I know how much you love the mall. Want to join us?
* * *
She sent the text before she could talk herself out of it, then went to collect everyone. Seconds later, her phone vibrated with an incoming text.
I’ll be there in five.
* * *
Three hours and hundreds of dollars later, the shopping was done. All four kids had new shoes, jeans, shirts and underwear, along with hoodies and light jackets. In their part of the world, fall and winter weren’t actually cold, although there was a slight chance that it could rain once or twice.
Magnolia had wanted a couple of dresses she could wear to school, but Orchid and Linnie hadn’t been interested. A dress might limit their playground activities. Through it all, Dex was a calming force. He’d intervened when the backpack discussion threatened to become heated. He’d helped Atlas pick out the coolest shirts and T-shirts so he would fit in and not have to worry about wearing clothes that looked like they’d been picked out by his aunt. And when everyone had gotten tired and cranky, he’d steered them all to the food court, where they’d split up to buy snacks ranging from pretzels to fried rice to wings and french fries.
Jana found herself both participating in all that was happening and observing it. Despite his declaration at the beginning of summer, she and Dex were still comfortable together, hanging out as they always did. He didn’t try to put his arm around her or kiss her, nor did he make pointed comments to hurry along her decision. He was as easy to be with as ever, but with an added element of attraction.
She was aware of him, of how he moved and the way his sexy smile made her insides quiver. Even more important, when he swept up Linnie and set her on his shoulders, she could imagine what it would be like if she and Dex were a lot more than friends. He was someone she could trust with her heart, but more important, she could trust him with her daughter.
Teddy had been right—it was time to make a decision.
She put down the pretzel she’d been nibbling on and wiped her fingers on a napkin.
“Magnolia, can you take charge of everyone for a second? I need to talk to Dex about something.”
“Sure.” Teddy’s oldest barely glanced up from her wings.
Jana turned her attention to Dex, who was watching her with a completely neutral expression. She stood.
“Come on.”
He dutifully got up and walked with her.
“We going to knock over a liquor store?” he asked conversationally.
“No.”
“Because if we are, I need to let Teddy know he has to pick up the kids.”
“Very funny.”
“I can be.”
She walked to the far end of the food court, then stepped behind a very large pillar. One big enough to conceal them from child-size prying eyes. When they were hidden from view, she stopped and faced Dex.
“You should kiss me.”
One eyebrow rose. “Should I?”
“Yes. What if there’s no chemistry? That might be a deal-breaker for you.”
“I’m not worried about the chemistry.”
“Don’t you want to be sure?”
“No, but I do want to kiss you.”
Before she could respond to that, he stepped close and cupped her face in his large hands, then lowered his mouth to hers.
The second their lips touched, she felt all the air rush out of her. Sparks exploded, and her thighs started to shake. She instinctively leaned in, wrapping her arms around him. He dropped his hands to her waist and pulled her hard against him. The kiss went from family friendly to X-rated in five seconds. Two heartbeats after that, Dex pulled back.
“Not in public,” he muttered, staring at her. “Still worried about the chemistry?”
She shook her head, even as she tried to understand the feelings surging through her. Not only had she never felt anything like it, she’d also never felt the sureness that came with whatever that had been. Was this the knowing that Teddy had talked about?
“I thought I’d come over for dinner tonight,” she said softly.
“That would be good. Dinner.” Although the heat in his eyes made her think there might be less time spent in the dining room than one would expect.
“I’ll bring Linnie next time, but not tonight.”
“Probably for the best.”
They stared at each other for another few seconds, then Dex put his arm around her. “We need to get back to the kids.”
“We do.”
He smiled at her. “We’re going to be great together.”
“Yes, we are.”
* * *
Beth stared at the “Great job! Every week you get better and better” scrawled across the top of her title page. There were also glowing margin notes, along with a few corrections of grammar and suggestions to extend the conversation between Mandy and her mother. Mandy being the fictional heroine of the book Beth was writing.
She smiled. Not only was she constantly amazed she was actually trying to write a book, but judging from all the feedback her instructor had given her, it was going well. Her!
She glanced over at Kai, who sat at the desk next to hers, looking equally stunned. Surprisingly, when he’d found out she was going to be taking a writing class at UCLA Extension, he’d wanted to go with her. Kai, it turned out, wanted to write a spy novel where the heroes were surfers, which allowed them to travel all over the world. The kid had depths.
Their instructor—a part-time screenwriter and full-time psychologist—was pushing seventy and old-school. Assignments were turned in on paper because he claimed he was of a generation that “thought with a pen in their hand.” At first Kai had balked, claiming he didn’t even own a printer. But after seeing the positive feedback in written form, he’d been excited to join the 1990s. For Beth, she had to admit there was something satisfying about handing in actual papers and then getting them dropped on her desk during the next class.
“Setting as character,” Dr. Previn said from the front of the class. “That’s our next topic. It’s a reading-heavy week. I get that. Do the best you can. Your assignment is to pick a scene to rewrite with the idea of setting as character. I want to see anywhere between three and seven pages from you, and I want both the original version and the new and improved version.”
He smiled at the class. “You’re all doing so well. Congratulations. I’ll see you next week.”
Beth collected her things and nearly floated out of class. The praise from her instructor always carried her through the times when she stared at her computer screen with no idea what to do next. Dr. Previn thought she was a natural born storyteller with a readable style. The two weeks they’d spent on plotting had totally rocked her world. She’d started the class with the idea of turning her growing up with Rick into a book, but had quickly realized that real life doesn’t plot well. In a matter of days she’d decided to change everything around and was now writing a coming-of-age story focused fully on Mandy and the trials of dealing with her action junkie mother. As of this version, the brother didn’t even exist.
Perhaps a metaphor for her actual life, Beth thought with both sadness and resignation. The summer was nearly over, and she hadn’t once heard from her brother. Not that she’d reached out to him. Agatha had counseled her to give herself time to figure out what she ultimately wanted. She supposed that at some point she would want to know that he was all right—even if whatever faux closeness she thought they had would never exist again. She didn’t want him in her life on a regular basis—not when she couldn’t trust him to act like a decent, caring person. But cutting him off completely didn’t seem right, either. Which meant listening to Agatha made the most sense. Time would provide clarity.
She and Kai walked to her car. They drove to class together and split the cost of parking. Sometimes they went a little early and grabbed dinner at one of the food trucks parked on campus. They talked about their writing and the weekly lessons. While she’d always liked Kai, their shared interest had added a nice dimension to their friendship. He was, in a way, like the younger brother she could trust. She would guess she was very much an older sister for him. She knew that he was still estranged from his family.
“Did you see the schedule for next session?” he asked as she headed west on I-10. When it ended in Santa Monica, she would drive north to Malibu. Not the most direct route, but they both liked being near the ocean.
“Yes. I want to take Dr. Previn’s next class.” Which was a continuation of his beginning writing series.
“Me, too. I’m learning so much.”
“And going to college,” she teased. “You were opposed.”
“It’s not the same.”
“Do you ever think about reaching out to your parents?” she asked. “And we don’t have to talk about them if you don’t want to.”
“I think about it,” he admitted. “But I’m not sure what to say. They’re the ones who threw me out. Shouldn’t they reach out first?” He paused, then sighed. “Every couple of months I get a Zelle deposit from my mom.”
“She’s sending you money?”
“Uh-huh.” He looked at her. “It’s not a lot, but maybe that’s not the point.”
“It isn’t. That’s her connecting with you. Kai, it means something. You should at least say thank you.”
“I do, but she never answers my texts.”
Hearing that made Beth’s heart ache. What was his mother thinking? Kai was an amazing young man. Where was the win in not speaking to him? He was her son, and Beth knew eventually the other woman was going to see what had been lost.
“I’m sorry,” she said softly. “One day she’s going to regret that. We can undo a lot of damage, but we can never get back time.”
“What about the time you’re wasting?” he asked in an obvious attempt to change the subject. “You haven’t tried to contact Teddy.”
“Nor am I going to,” she said, ignoring the automatic ache that occurred whenever she thought of him. “He made his feelings clear. I hurt him and I regret that. The least I can do to make things right is leave the man alone.” Jana had forgiven her. She was grateful for that.
“But you’re in love with him.”
“I am. Even knowing how it ends, I would still want to be with him for the time we had. It was magical.”
Even more important, she now knew what love really felt like. Should she ever get involved again—something that seemed very unlikely, because she would be measuring every man she met against the standard that was Teddy—she knew how she was supposed to feel when she was with him. Anything less wasn’t going to be worth the effort.
She drove back to the store and pulled up next to Kai’s car.
“See you tomorrow,” she said as he got out.
“I’ll be on time.”
“You always are.”
She waved and drove home. As she pulled into the driveway, she saw a familiar Suburban parked at the curb. Her breath caught as her heart pounded in her chest. She only knew one person who drove a Suburban.
Even as she wondered what he was doing here, she told herself the person waiting inside wasn’t Teddy. Jana could have borrowed his car and dropped by. Only Jana knew that tonight was her writing class, and she would have texted first.
She grabbed her backpack and hurried to the front door, only to hesitate before opening it. She’d been up since six that morning, had worked all day and had gone to class from the store. She was still wearing her stupid Surf Sandwiches T-shirt over jeans. Not exactly the glamorous look she’d been hoping for should she ever run into Teddy again. Of course, she wasn’t exactly the glamorous type, so there was that.
The front door opened, and Agatha grabbed her arm to pull her inside.
“What’s taking you so long?” she asked in a low voice. “Teddy’s here. He showed up about fifteen minutes ago. He knew you were at your writing class and asked if he could wait to talk to you. I’ve been doing my best to entertain him, but it’s difficult when half of me wants to hit him upside the head with a blunt object and the other half wants to ask his intentions.”
Her stomach flipped over a few times, while her chest got a weird floaty hopeful feeling. Teddy wouldn’t show up to yell at her. Their relationship was over. As far as her and Jana being friends—he shouldn’t have any complaints there.
She dropped her backpack on the floor, smoothed the front of her bright yellow T-shirt and turned toward the family room. When she hesitated, Agatha gave her a not-so-gentle push.
“I’ll be in my room,” her aunt whispered. “With the door closed and the TV on. I won’t hear a thing.”
Beth braced herself for impact, then moved into the family room. Teddy stood by the sliding glass door, staring out into the darkness.
Even from the back, he looked good. Tall and broad-shouldered. His hair was a little long, and she thought he might have lost weight, but otherwise, he was exactly as she remembered.
In the second before she spoke, she thought how much it hurt to look at him and how great it was to be in the same room with him. She’d been so busy trying to heal from learning the truth about her brother that she’d kind of forgotten to fall out of love with Teddy.
“Hi,” she managed.
He turned to face her. “Beth!”
He took a step toward her, stopped, then moved again, walking right up to her, putting his hands on her shoulders and kissing her.
The second his mouth touched hers, emotions exploded inside of her. Not just wanting, because that was a given, but so much more. Longing and love, hope and relief, and a thousand other joyous feelings she couldn’t name.
He kissed her with a fierce desperation that spoke of loneliness and regret, along with forgiveness.
“I’m sorry,” he said when he drew back. “I’m sorry. I’ve been a complete ass.”
“You haven’t. I hurt you and Jana. I was so wrong. I’m sorry for what I did.”
He shook his head. “I should have talked to you. I should have been willing to listen and understand. Instead I reacted. I was shocked to think you would keep a secret from me.” He pulled her close and hung on. “Rick’s your brother. You had to protect him the same way I’d protect Jana.”
While she never wanted him to let go, she knew they had to get everything said. She reluctantly drew back.
“Rick isn’t who I thought. I didn’t see it until the whole Galaxy situation. Knowing what I know now, I would have acted differently, but I didn’t have all the information.”
“I know.” He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. “I’ve only loved two women in my life. With Valonia, everything was easy.” He smiled. “Life is a little more complicated now. I have kids, you have to deal with what Rick did. I guess I expected perfection, and that’s unrealistic.”
Her mind was still caught back on “I’ve only loved two women.”
“You love me?” she asked, her voice a whisper. Her heart pounded hard in her ears as she waited breathlessly for his answer.
“Yes. I love you, Beth.” He grimaced. “I realized I screwed up everything by taking so long to admit it. I’ve felt righteous in my anger. It’s taken me a while to figure out that I’ve actually been afraid because it turns out, you can hurt me.”
He dropped his hands to his sides and gave her a rueful smile. “I didn’t know you could. I didn’t know Valonia could. We fought, but nothing like this ever happened. Like I said—life is more complicated now. It’s taken a while, but I’ve figured out that pride is lonely and that being without you is the worst feeling in the world. Can you forgive me?”
What? He was asking if she could forgive him ?
She flung herself at him. “I can. I do. I love you, Teddy. You’re the man of my dreams, the one I’ve been waiting for.”
“What about that other guy you’ve been seeing?”
She pushed away and stared at him. “What are you talking about? There’s no other guy!”
His mouth twitched as if he were holding in a smile. “Oh, I don’t know. I hear you have a real thing for a guy named Rocky.”
She laughed. “Yes, I’m taking horseback riding lessons, and Rocky is my horse boyfriend.”
“The kids would enjoy horseback riding lessons,” he said softly. “If that’s something you’d like to share with them.”
“I would love it.”
She stepped back into his embrace. The cracks in her heart had miraculously healed. Not just because Teddy had come back but because in the past few months, she’d started to find herself.
He held her close. “I love you so much.”
“I know the feeling.”
They stared at each other. She smiled.
“So, do you have to hurry home?” she asked.
“Not really. Jana and Dex are with the kids tonight. I’m actually free until morning.”
“Better and better.” She took his hand in hers and started down the hall. “I’m free until morning, too.”
He followed her into her bedroom, then shut the door behind them and drew her close.
“I love it when a plan comes together.”
“Me, too.”
* * * * *