14. Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fourteen
Athena
D oes he know what I’m planning? Is there something else wrong with the truck? These and a thousand more questions are running through my mind as he leads me to his huge dark gray motorcycle. Has it only been less than a week since I was riding on the back of this bike? God, it feels like a lifetime.
“I thought you wanted to talk?” I’m not going to complain about having another ride on this thing though, because the last time was exhilarating.
“Figured we’d do it somewhere more comfortable. You okay coming back to my place?” A sliver of a grin appears on his mouth, coming across as a little shy, like he hasn’t fully thought this through until now.
“Yeah.”
His smile grows wider at my response and he nods to himself.
“I asked Vanessa to get you a few things to make doing this easier.” He hands me a red paper bag that was sitting beside his bike. “You should be able to put them on over what you’re wearing for now.”
Another gift?
I’m a little taken aback and I can’t help scrunching my eyebrows together as I take the bag and look inside.
“It’s too much… I—”
“Baby Girl, it’s to keep you safe and me from worrying.” He moves closer to me, invading my personal space more than he ever has, but I don’t want to run from him like I do everyone else. This doesn’t scare me like it does with other people. My heart is pounding against my chest as I look up into his soulful eyes and he lifts a hand, gently stroking it across my cheek. “And nothing is too much. Not for you. Not ever.”
We continue to stand there, so close I can feel his breath on my face, and I think he’s about to kiss me. I think I want him to kiss me. I’ve only ever wanted to be kissed once before, and I regret every moment, but this isn’t the same.
Clearing his throat, Bear’s fingers slide from where he’s cupping my cheek and he steps back.
“Thank you.” Will I ever find someone like this man again? He’s the only reason I’m doubting my reasons to leave.
Pulling out the jeans first, I look for something to lean against so I can take my boots off.
“Here.” Bear offers me his hand, and I take it, squealing a little as he drags me closer and lifts me by the waist, placing me carefully on the seat of his motorcycle. “Sorry.” He shrugs and looks a little sheepish, but it makes me giggle rather than worry. I’m happy, not scared.
This is all so surreal, but I’m thankful to the gods for this time they’re giving me. After all the crap, and with all the crap to come, I think I deserve a little happiness.
A normal life.
I can’t take my eyes off Bear as he lowers to the cold ground, on his knees, and lifts one of my legs. He begins untying the lace before gently sliding the first boot from my foot. The way one of his large, thick hands is wrapped around my ankle is like the sweetest caress and I sigh.
It can’t be comfortable for him down there, but he continues on to the other boot. I’m in awe of him, he’s an enigma among all other humans. Why would he do this for me? Get on his knees for me? I don’t feel worthy of all this man is, but I can’t help wanting to indulge for just a little longer.
“Jeans.” He looks up through his long black lashes and holds out a hand. “I’ll push your feet through the legs then I can put your boots back on for you before you stand. All you’ll need to do is pull your pants the rest of the way up.”
I love how he’s explaining his actions, letting me know what’s happening so nothing is a surprise. Except whatever it is he needs to talk about…
“Come on, Baby Girl. I got you.”
And with those three final words, I believe him. I really, truly believe him. My heart aches for a reason to stay.
“Okay.” I allow a shy smile as I pass him the jeans, because I may be smitten, but I’m still hesitant and a little unsure.
Gripping the muscle of my lower leg, he guides one of my feet into the jeans, slowly followed by the other. I think he’s enjoying this as much as I am because I’m pretty sure this could be quicker. But like me, he’s taking his time, savoring the moment. Or at least, I hope he is.
With the jeans on my legs, pulled up to my knees and scrunched around my ankles, I swear I hear him growl as he eyes what he’s done so far, as though he likes what he sees. It does something to me down there that has literally never happened before. It pulses, like it’s got a heartbeat of its own. A little scary, but I don’t hate the feeling.
He closes his eyes briefly before opening them again and reaching for one of my boots, sliding it onto my foot and lacing it up. The next one is quick to follow, then he stands, towering over me once more, but he doesn’t intimidate me in the slightest. It’s wild.
Stepping forward, he grips my waist again and lifts me as though I weigh nothing, placing me carefully back on the ground so I’m standing.
“Thank you, Bear.” I love his nickname. It’s the perfect fit for him because he’s large and powerful, yet soft and cuddly at the same time.
“I like it when you use that name.” His eyes darken and his chest rises and falls a little heavier, but he steps back, bending slightly, and grips the sides of my jeans. He pulls them up the rest of the way, the knuckles from his thumbs skimming along the material of my leggings. Then he takes his time in closing the zipper and popping the button through the hole.
“Are you wearing another top beneath that hoodie?”
I nod slowly, wondering why he wants to know.
“The leather jacket is your size, so it won’t fit over the hoodie.” Again with the explanation without me having to actually ask.
“Makes sense. Can I put the hoodie on over the top?” The scent and warmth of it is all him, and I had to talk myself out of sleeping in it last night.
The wide grin he gives me makes the butterflies in my stomach go crazy. “‘Course you can, Baby Girl.”
I step back so I can lift the hoodie over my head, needing a little more space than we are currently giving each other because I need a moment.
By the time it’s off, Bear is already holding open the leather jacket, which is plain black and looks padded.
“It’s for your protection,” he explains as he encourages me to slide my arms into it one after the other.
Now that I’m facing him again, he grabs the two bottom corners to connect them and pulls up the zipper before closing the snap buttons over the top. Then without a word, he picks up the hoodie from where I laid it across his motorcycle and shoves it over my head, nodding in satisfaction when my arms are through the holes.
Getting dressed has never been so sensual.
“Helmet time.” He grabs one of the two helmets beside his bike and holds it up to guide onto my head, leaving the visor open as he takes his time clipping the strap together and tightening it. “You good?” With his own helmet in hand, he waits for me to answer.
“Yeah.” My turn to nod. It feels strange and heavy with the helmet on so I do it slowly as he slides his own onto his head.
I’m excited to be on the back of this with him again. I had thought it was a one-time thing, but apparently not. The first time was out of necessity and I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as I could have.
He lifts one of his large legs up and over the motorcycle then holds a hand out for me to take, then he continues to hold it so I can climb on behind him, my thighs pressed against his. Instead of encouraging me to hold on to the handles he showed me last time, he tucks my hand into his waist pocket and pats it gently before sliding a pair of gloves on and starting the engine.
The motorcycle vibrates between my legs and I grip him tighter as he kicks up the stand and we’re off. Being on this bike with him feels like instinct, each turn smooth, as though we’ve been doing this together forever. A small thrill rolls through me at every turn, every time the engine roars a little louder, and as we weave through traffic like it’s not even there. An overwhelming feeling of freedom almost brings tears to my eyes but I push them back so I can enjoy every second of this to the fullest.
I’m not sure how long we’ve been riding when we pull up outside a blue-gray house. There’s neat paving from the sidewalk leading to the cutest front porch with a couple of white rocking chairs and darker gray door. The front yard is neatly trimmed and a few flowerless plants have been carefully spaced around the porch. It’s simply stunning.
I slowly lift my head from where it’s resting against Bear’s back and unwrap my arms from around his waist, feeling a sense of loss when the chilly air replaces his warmth against my chest, but I can’t exactly walk around attached to his back. That would be weird.
The engine cuts out and I climb off the bike. My legs are a little like jelly, but I’d do it again a thousand times over. Bear follows, expertly removing his helmet at the same time, closely followed by his gloves. With that beautiful smile in place, he stands in front of me, bringing his hands up to unclip my helmet before pulling it up and off my head.
I don’t flinch around him, not once, and every moment we spend together has me second guessing my decision to leave because it’s getting clearer that he’s not the same as him .
“This is home.” He holds out a hand and I don’t even need to think about it, I take it freely, our fingers entwining like they were always this way. The butterflies are rampant in my stomach and my acceptance of this whole situation still confuses me.
“It’s beautiful.” There are several matching houses of different colors in variations of blues, grays, and whites to the right of this one, and an expanse of trees to the left that winds around to the back.
The rocking chairs look unused, the white of the wood so bright against the rest of the porch area. I’d love to just sit in one for a while, see what it’s like, but it’s not very warm outside right now.
“Is that you, Brock?”
I look around to see where the voice came from, finding an older woman with purple-pastel short hair in bouncy curls, a large pair of glasses, and using a purple cane to help her walk down the few steps of her own porch next door.
“Afternoon, Mrs. Williams. Seen the grandkids this week?” Bear pauses with the key in the front door and turns his attention to the approaching woman.
“No, Frederick and his wife took them on vacation to Europe, but they’re home soon. Hopefully they’ll come and visit when they get back.” She shrugs, not attempting to walk up onto his porch. Instead, she stays on the pathway and leans against one of the pillars, a little out of breath. “You haven’t been home for weeks. I think that gardener that works for you was trying to look through my windows.”
Bear chuckles lightly, giving her a polite smile. “I asked him to keep an eye on you for me.”
“Oh.” She brings a hand up to her chest and blushes. “That’s so kind. Well, tell him to knock for a coffee next time then. I thought he was going to catch a cold.” It seems that knowing Bear is responsible for her interlude with the nosy gardener makes it all okay. And I kinda like that.
Everyone I’ve met while I’ve been around him has this unwavering confidence in him, making it easier to trust my own instincts rather than questioning them… like I’ve always had to do before now.
“You’ll catch a cold too if you stay out here for much longer without a jacket, Mrs. Williams. Is Mr. Williams home today or away on business?” His full attention appears to be on her and this conversation, but his hand is still in mine, with the occasional light squeeze as if to reassure me.
“He’ll be home in a few hours. He’s talking about retiring finally, so we’ll see if he follows through with that. You know how he is with work.” She rolls her eyes and I have to chuckle. “Oh yes, and who’s your lady friend? I haven’t seen you bring a woman home in the seven years you’ve lived here.” Wagging her brows like she knows a secret, she turns her attention to me, grinning widely.
“My lady friend here is Athena.” Another gentle squeeze of my hand in his.
“How lovely. Nice to meet you, Athena.” She tilts her head forward to one side, winking with that unmoving smirk.
“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Williams.” I don’t make a move to shake her hand or anything, but I do manage a tentative smile.
“I’ll leave you lovebirds to it, Brock. Pop by soon, I’ll make you and those friends of yours some of my special brownies.” She wags her brows again before beginning to hobble back toward her house.
“See you soon, Mrs. Williams.” Bear is chuckling to himself as he turns, unlocking his front door before opening it wide. He doesn’t go in first. “M’lady.” He gestures inside, guiding me by the hand toward the opening.
“Thank you.” I stop as soon as I’m inside, and he’s right behind me, waiting for I don’t even know what.
It’s so clinically clean. Everything is in shades of gray and white, from the open plan kitchen-diner to the couches surrounding a glass coffee table.
It’s nothing at all like how I imagined his home. I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t this.
“It’s so clean.” I feel stupid but there isn’t much else to say.
“It should be, I pay the cleaners enough to make sure it stays that way.” He huffs a laugh. “I don’t stay here often, but I don’t wanna breathe in dust every time I visit. A couple of kids from the house down the street come in once a week to make sure it’s all good. Gives them some extra spending money before they go off to college next year.” He palms the back of his neck and rubs at it, clearing his throat. “Coffee?”
He looks down at our still-linked hands, and I don’t think either of us wants to let go.
“Please.” I nod, dragging my eyes from his handsome smiling face to continue taking in the open space. It’s so bright and airy, and the kids that clean for him do a really great job.
Gods know I’ve scrubbed enough floorboards to know.
He eventually lets go of my hand and heads toward the kitchen, and I watch as he moves around so freely, preparing and turning on the coffee machine before pulling two mugs from a high cupboard. The way his big body moves is fluid, smooth, like he’s completely comfortable with himself and his size. And everything is so toned, so tight, I swear the Greek god, Phanês, created him into perfection.
“How do you like it?” For a second, my mind goes somewhere I never thought it could go voluntarily, and I imagine how I’d like to be held by him, touched by him…
“I don’t really know.” I shrug. “I only tried coffee for the first time a few days ago.” He begins to scowl, the smile I’ve come to adore slipping as he turns away from me to face the coffee machine, and I’m not sure how I’ve made him angry. Maybe he needs me to make a decision? “I think I had sugar, and I like the coffee Mac made me try at Lucy’s.” I don’t move from my position by the front door, unsure where to go.
“Let me try something, is that okay?” The smile is back in place when he turns back around, but it’s not quite as full as before. There’s a little sadness there and I find myself frowning. “Hey, Baby Girl, what’s wrong?”
“Did I upset you somehow?” I decide to just come right out and say it.
“No, oh God, no. Never. I’m sorry.” He moves over to stand in front of me and holds both of my hands in his. “I hate that you never got to try coffee before this week. It’s stupid bu—”
I don’t think I’ve ever smiled so wide as I am right now. “Not stupid. Thank you.” Feeling brave, I lift one of his hands and bring it to my mouth, hesitating for just a second before kissing his knuckles the same way he has done mine.
When I chance looking up at his face, his eyes are already on me, full of an emotion I can’t describe, but I think I feel it too. I don’t really understand it but I feel like I could literally die if I never see him again.
“Do you wanna sit on the couch or at the kitchen table?” His eyes have a twinkle in them as he remains unmoving in front of me.
“Erm…” I lean to look around him at my options. “Couch, please.” There is a set of large glass doors at the back end of the house where the two small couches are, and the view into the yard outside reminds me that I did the right thing by running, regardless of the original plan.
Ten minutes later, we’re sitting side by side, coffee cups in hand and shoes by the front door. The leather jacket and hoodie are neatly folded on the chair and for the first time in a long time, I feel comfortable. The couch is larger than I thought, with wide cushions, meaning my feet don’t quite touch the floor with me sitting all the way back.
The coffee is delicious. I don’t know what he did to it, but it’s even better than the fancy one at Lucy’s coffee shop.
“So, that talk. I hate to bring up things you don’t wanna talk about, but the club has been doing some digging.” He turns a little on the couch toward me, so I shift and bring my legs up, crossing them and facing him. I can’t blame his friends for wanting to do their research. If anything, it says how much they love Bear, and I could never be mad at that.
“Okay.” I sigh deeply and nod, ready for whatever he has to say. Maybe he’s going to suggest that I leave anyway, which would be great because that’s the plan… so why does the thought hurt so much?
“We know about The Firm.” He pauses when I take a sharp inhale, unable to hold back my reaction to the name of the organization I hoped to never hear of again. I silently gesture for him to continue. “My brothers spoke to the guy who stopped you and Mac yesterday.”
“And by spoke to, do you mean beat up?” Paxton has been giving me the lowdown, as he called it, on how a motorcycle club runs. They basically love and protect each other with their lives, meaning sometimes they have to do bad shit. Again, Paxton’s words. The way he spoke about it wasn’t like a scared child though, it was like he was in awe of them, and I can practically feel the respect the club members have for each other every time they’re around. Minus the whole punching that guy thing, but I could tell Bear felt bad about it afterward.
Bear chuckles. “Yeah. I mean beat up.” He clears his throat. “We have a guy hacking his phone for information, but he said he didn’t tell anyone he’d found you or knew where you were.”
“Wow. That’s… something.” I don’t know what to say, I’m shocked, but I’m also… I think happy? Everything suddenly seems a lot clearer, easier somehow, and why I ever believed that I would be safer on my own is a mystery. “Thank you.” I’m not going to tell him that what they’ve done or are doing is wrong or that they shouldn’t bother because I’m where I’m supposed to be.
In my heart, I know that I came here for a reason, and while the home for women I was supposed to go to was burned down, I found something even better. I know I have Moirai to thank for that. Fate .
“You’re welcome.” Bear huffs a low laugh and shakes his head. “You’re something else, Baby Girl.”
I raise my brows in response, sipping at my delicious coffee, and shrug. I know with all my many quirks that I’m not confident and strong, I’m aware of how I come across to strangers with how skittish I can be. But being aware doesn’t stop it from happening. With Bear, it all feels different. I’m drawn to him like a bee to a flower.
“There’s more.” His serious face is back.
“Do I need to get more comfortable for this?” I flutter my lashes.
He laughs. “If you want, Baby Girl.”
“Okay, hang on.” Pushing my personal limits, I slowly uncurl my legs and begin to stretch them out. Bear watches in amusement as I carefully place my feet on his thick thigh, leaning myself back into the arm of the couch with my coffee in both hands. “Ready.”
As soon as my feet make contact with his thigh, he grips one of them in both of his large hands, and it practically disappears, but when he starts rubbing… oh, wow…
“What are y—”
“As soon as it’s too much for you, just ask me to stop, okay?” He searches my eyes for any discomfort, but he doesn’t find it and I nod. “Words, Baby Girl. I need you to understand that I’ll stop as soon as you want me to.”
Nobody has ever rubbed my feet before, and I don’t think I want him to stop. It feels so good.
“Please don’t stop.” My cheeks heat, but being so forward, being honest about what I’m feeling, is easy with Bear.
“Good girl.”
Oh, gods, I swear he sets all my nerve endings on fire in the best way. His gentle touch, his praising words, I could get used to this. But what can I really give him? I find myself going in circles with every decision, questioning what’s right in front of me.
Doing that is never going to get me a new life, though. One worth living.
“I think you should move in with me.” There was no beating around the bush with that. I almost forgot he still wanted to talk and I certainly didn’t expect that. “So the club and I can protect you. Keep you safe from The Firm if they try to find you again.”
My eyes widen at the statement because, let’s face it, that wasn’t a question. It’s almost like he’s preempted my wanting to run and has come up with a different solution, one that actually makes a lot more sense… just as much as it doesn’t.
“I was going to leave when my truck is ready tomorrow.” He was honest and straightforward with me, I owe it to him to do the same. “I was going to run away and never look back.”
“Why?” He looks sad at my admission.
“To protect you .”