15. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Fifteen
Bear
“ Y ou wanted to protect me, huh?” My entire body is buzzing with her admission. No one has tried to protect me in years. Sure, the club protects the brother, the member… the friend. This is different. This woman barely knows me and her first instinct when shit hits the fan is to put her life in danger… for me .
Fuck . The realization hits hard. The protector being shielded by the survivor, it’s next level.
That being said, it ain’t happenin’.
“Yes. After all you guys have… no.” A tiny frown digs into her brow as she picks at her nail, watching it closely like it holds all of the answers she needs.
“No?” I prompt, mainly to distract myself from how fucking adorable she is.
“No, I mean, yes. Everyone has been so kind and caring, but you …” This time she lifts her gaze up to mine and holds it without ever letting go. “You, especially, made me feel… make me feel… like I deserve, I don’t know, to be free, I guess. Staying here feels selfish of me and putting you in danger for my own benefit just seems cruel, you know?”
My fingers dig into a particularly knotted kink in her arch and I take this time to find the words that will help her to understand that none of this will fly with any of us. Least of all, me.
“I’m about to get real with you, Baby Girl.”
“Does that mean you’ve been fake until now?” I have to look up and make sure she’s joking because our everyday expressions are hit and miss with her sometimes. The corner of her mouth is twitching like she’s trying really fucking hard to suppress a grin.
“Funny girl, but I like it. Humor is a good indicator that you feel comfortable so I’mma take that as a win.” The smile that follows lights up my entire fucking world and it’s right there, in that exact moment, that I fall. Hard and quick with no turning back. Goner. Done. “Anyway, here’s the thing: I don’t need protectin’, I’ve got the club. And now you do too so leaving would put us all in danger.” Mostly because I’d lose my fucking mind if I didn’t know where she was and that would put the entire fucking world in peril of me burning it down. It might be a tad too early to tell her all that.
“Okay.”
“Okay?” I heard her but I need her to repeat it.
“Yes, okay. I’ll stay, but I’ve got one condition.” Her gaze lifts from mine and wanders around the living room before coming back to me. “You let me decorate this house for Christmas. I-I’m excited to celebrate it for once, instead of… well, just enduring it. The house where I lived had all these decorations and fancy parties but I wasn’t… it just wasn’t… anyway, your house is stunning but it could use a little more warmth to it. Make it more… you.”
A ball of fire doused in a healthy dose of anger churns in my stomach at her admission. I don’t know much about her past but I’m guessing what she just told me is barely the tip of the iceberg and true horror is buried deep inside her memory. That said, if refurbishing and decorating my house is all it takes for her to stay here, I’ll let her demolish this place and build it right back up to her liking. Although, that would suck because we’d have to sleep at the compound in the meantime and I’m not giving those idiots—that I love and would die for—any fucking fodder.
“Deal. I think I have a box upstairs with decorations in it. One of the few things I have left from my mom.” I shrug, trying to push down the lump that always accompanies the profound sadness I feel when I mention my mama. Fuck, I miss her every damn day and it’s been over ten years now.
While lost in my thoughts, I realize Athena has pulled up her feet and is now crawling over the couch to me, straddling me and holding my cheeks the way I held hers earlier. When she speaks, something inside me shifts.
“She would be so proud of the man you’ve become.” I blink, not sure how she knew I was thinking of mama, yet grateful that I didn’t have to name my pain. “I lost mine, too. I was young, too young to understand most things, but it didn’t take a genius to know I’d never see her again.” My hands slide up her thighs and rest on her hips, fingers holding on for dear life. “I don’t know if she’s still alive, but in my world, women don’t survive very long, especially when they’ve given birth, so I don’t hold high hopes. In fact, I hope she did escape, in any way possible.”
The sadness in her eyes makes my jaw clench and my need to avenge her skyrocket but that’s not what she needs right now. The best thing I can do for her is listen.
“But I escaped and I followed her instructions, so wherever she is, I know she’s proud of me. And you, Bear, everything you are is special.” My body is completely frozen, waiting, hoping she’ll just lean in a few inches and allow me a taste of her parted lips.
“Is this okay?” Fuck me, she’s asking me if I’m okay with her leaning in? Does she for a second believe I won’t lose my fucking mind if she doesn’t get closer? Then it hits me… consent. She probably has never given it and she doesn’t want to take it from someone else.
Fuck.
“Yes, Baby Girl, this is fucking perfect.” At my words, her entire face lights up like the Fourth of July. God bless motherfucking America and I will celebrate her happiness on this day every fucking year.
Every inch she gives me feels like a victory for her. Like she’s discovering freedom and I’m her open door.
“I never curse, Bear, but I like it when you do.” I don’t have time to register her admission because her lips graze mine and the fire on my skin spreads to every inch of me. The burn is so good, bringing me to life in places that have been dormant for so long. All I can move are my fingers as they flex on her hips and bring them flush against mine. “Kiss me. Please.”
Did I say I was done before?
That’s just because I hadn’t yet experienced this, right here. Right now. If it’s all I get of Athena, it’ll be worth every fucking minute of my existence.
“I thought you’d never ask.” With her permission, I bring one hand to the back of her head and take control of the kiss. My lips crash against hers and my tongue slips into her parted mouth, opening the gates of my need for her. When she moans, I get impossibly harder. When she gasps, I swallow her breaths. When she brings her palms to rest against the back of my head, I pray to God that He—or She—won’t ever take Athena away from me.
Time slips away for me, and to be honest, I don’t fucking care. I’d gladly let the world live out there without us for the rest of time if it means kissing this woman forever.
Our hands don’t wander and neither one of us takes it any further than this kiss but somehow it’s enough. With tongues exploring, I sense her trying to rise up on her knees and take a more dominant position so I scooch down on the couch and give her exactly what she wants. Next thing I know, she’s wrapped my head in her forearms, cocooning us within her hold. Our lips never part and I’m not even sure how we’re even breathing at this point but I don’t fucking care. I’ve got this sweet, smart, fucking strong-as-fuck woman in my arms, and she doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to make her my old lady.
“You taste so good, Bear. Better than anything I’ve ever had in my life.”
“You tryin’ to make me blush, Baby Girl?”
Dragging her lips across mine, she speaks so softly that I almost miss what she says.
“Would that be so bad?” As she slides her hands back down to my shoulders, the vulnerability in her voice is devastating. If I do anything to help her, I want to do this… make her see how incredible she truly is.
“Nah, that would be really fucking cool. Ain’t much out there that can make me blush anymore, not with all I’ve seen.” My hand slides from the back of her head to cup her jaw so I can bring her closer to me. “I can tell you this though, I think I’m addicted to your kisses. Mind giving me some more?” She snorts out her laughter, and I don’t know why, but it makes me fucking ecstatic. This is probably as real as she’s ever been in her life and I’m the lucky asshole who gets to witness it.
Fuck yeah.
Our privileged moment is cut short by the ringing of my phone. Not gonna lie, I’m tempted to just let it ring, but when I remember that Bash was waiting on Glitch to give him information about the dick who found Athena, I concede.
“I’m sorry, but I need to at least see who it is.” Athena tries to roll off me but that shit ain’t gonna fly. “Uh-uh, you’re staying put, Baby Girl. Ain’t nothin’ in this world that’s gonna take you off my lap.” Like a little sloth, she hangs on to me while I reach up and grab the phone from the coffee table.
My spine goes instantly rigid when I see the name flashing on the screen. Here we fucking go.
“Yeah?” Original greeting, I know. Don’t fucking care.
“Bear, man. Listen to me. Are you with your woman right now?” I don’t fucking like the urgency in his voice. Not a fucking bit.
“Yeah, what’s goin’ on?” My eyes lock with Athena’s and the relaxed, carefree woman from earlier when our tongues were tangled and our breaths mingled is gone in an instant. She’s scared and I can’t deny I’ve got a sudden weight pressing against my chest.
“She’s chipped, man. I don’t fucking know where, but she’s got a chip somewhere under her skin. Glitch said to look on her arm or maybe somewhere she can’t reach. He—what the fuck?”
Bash’s voice trails off right before what sounds suspiciously like a phone falling to the floor thunders against my eardrum.
“We’re on our way. Do not fucking move.” What the fuck?
“Mac? Where the fuck do you suppose I’d go?” I swear that woman lives for the adrenaline rush. Probably misses being an EMT.
“Right. Well, still. Don’t go anywhere, we need to take that chip out and I’m the only one trained to do it.” I raise a skeptical brow even though she can’t see me.
“You’re trained in taking out chips?”
“Well, no, but I can deal with… you know, blood and sh—stuff. Also, I called dibs and Psycho’s staying home. See ya soon.” In the background, I hear Bash telling her to give him back his phone then the line goes dead.
“What’s going on? What did they mean by I have a chip ?”
“You heard that, huh?”
Biting her bottom lip, all swollen and dark pink from our kissing, she nods as an answer to my question. I’m trying really fucking hard not to lose my shit right now because on a scale of one to Psycho, she needs a Bear… calm and collected but deadly when all other options fail. The advantage of having a best friend who consistently loses his shit when it comes to his wife is that I can see what works and what blows up in his face. Spoiler alert: nine times out of ten his overprotective bullshit blows up in his face. Then again, as he likes to remind me all the fucking time, he got his girl.
“Please tell me, Bear. I may not have a lot of experience in the outside world but one thing I know is danger, and trust me, I can handle it. What I can’t handle is the unexpected. So, just tell me and we’ll deal with it.” She’s right. There’s nothing worse than keeping secrets for the sake of protection. All it does is leave us vulnerable.
“Okay. From what I understand, The Firm put an electronic chip under your skin so they can track you. In case you ran.” At my words, she nods, then tries, again, to get off my lap. “Hey, wait. I’m being straight up with you, now don’t go puttin’ up walls for me. All right?”
Our eyes meet and in the seconds it takes her to nod, I edge just a little closer to the Psycho scale. I mean, when all else fails… locking her up while I kill those motherfuckers suddenly sounds like a great fucking plan.
“Yeah, sorry. Okay, so, the solution is simple. Take it out.” I blink up at her and revel in the absolute force of nature you have to be to find the strength to escape a sex trafficking organization then, without an ounce of fear, be ready to mutilate your body to keep them at bay.
“Yes. Mac was an EMT so she’s gonna do this nice and clean, okay? Do you mind if I look around before they get here? Try and see if I can find it?” The only reason I notice her entire body go absolutely still with my words is because I’m staring straight at her. Years of being around abuse survivors have taught me to wait it out. Give them their own time to work through the million and one scenarios they’re cooking up in their minds.
And I do just that. Wait. Watch. Be the support she needs.
“I…” Her gaze shoots to the left then the right before coming home to mine, and it’s as our eyes are locked that she reveals a somber side to her past. “My body isn’t pretty, Bear.”
I’m about to argue but the subtle shake of her head tells me she needs to say it all right now or we’ll lose this moment of truth. So I close my mouth and listen.
“It’s not. It’s full of scars and stuff. I’d understand if you didn’t want me anymore.” Again, I’m about to tell her that nothing in this world could keep me from wanting her, but I lock my jaw and let her finish. “ He told me that no one would ever want anything to do with me because I’m broken.”
That’s it. As soon as I learn who this motherfucker is, I’m going after him. With or without the club. He’s gonna rot in his own shit then he’s gonna die in it.
“Well, shows how ignorant he was, doesn’t it? We may not know each other very well, but you’ll learn that I’m a man with a one track mind and, baby, you’re my track.”
Pressing her lips together, I can tell she’s stifling a laugh, and this time, when she scoots back to rise to her feet, I give her the space to do so.
Crossing her arms over her belly, she curls her fingers around the hem of her long-sleeved T-shirt and hesitates for only a second before winning an inner battle with herself. Then she turns and, as if she’s ripping off a Band-Aid, pulls her shirt off and lets her arms fall to her sides.
The scene in front of me is like nothing I’ve ever witnessed before. Spanning her entire back are scars of various lengths, some more puffy than others, like they haven’t healed properly. I may have only been in college for a couple of years studying biology, but I know that a few of these scars needed stitches that she definitely did not get.
My eyes lock on one particular scar that looks almost fresh and I’m guessing she escaped soon after that. Then I realize there are burn marks, small and round, mostly likely from the tip of a lit cigarette, and I don’t know why that’s the sight that makes my blood suddenly boil to the point of making me lose my fucking sanity.
“Are you disgusted? I’d understand, you know?”
Taking a deep breath through my nose, I’m careful when I answer her whispered question.
“Baby Girl, ain’t nothin’ about you that disgusts me. But I’m gonna have to come clean here and tell you that I’m going to kill whoever did this to you, hear me?” She doesn’t move but I sense her body relax just a bit. Just enough for me to have the courage to touch her without setting this world on fire. “I’m going to touch you now, okay?”
She nods but I ain’t having that. “Words, Baby Girl. You and me, we use our words, okay?”
“Yes. Please find the chip so we can move on from this.” That’s my strong, brave woman. My future old lady. “I try to not look back there so I have no idea where it would be. If it’s even on my back.” I nod, even though she can’t see me, because she’s right, it could be anywhere. But the logical part of my brain really thinks it’s back here because it’s the one place she wouldn’t be able to touch herself and find it by accident.
Placing both of my hands on her skin, I knead my way up her back, pressing my fingertips as I go trying to feel for any anomalies. Well, besides the ton of scar tissue she’s got that shouldn’t be here.
When she takes her brown hair in her hand and pulls it over her shoulder, our eyes lock and I feel an entire conversation take place between us.
“I’m in awe of you, Baby Girl.”
“There’s nothing special about me. I’m just trying to live on my own terms.” And that, right there, is the definition of a survivor.
Just as I reach the top of her shoulders and slide toward her neck, my index finger bumps against a tiny square, hard and unmovable. It’s different from the rest of the anomalies on her back, telling me we’ve found it.
“Got it.” Her body relaxes at the same moment as the sounds of bikes pulling up and the rambunctious laughter of my brothers practically make the house shake.
“Here, put your shirt back on.” Quickly, she covers herself seconds before Grinder barges in and announces their arrival in a way only Grinder could.
“Bow down, motherfuckers, your savior is here.”
“Oh my fecking God, Grinder. Move out of the way, you weirdo.” Mac pushes past him and eases the blow by sending him air kisses.
“I swear, this new generation has lost all respect for their elders.” Grinder, along with Boner and Bash, fill up my living room as they place their helmets and leather jackets on whatever surfaces they can find, transforming it from the perfectly put together home to a bachelor pad in mere seconds.
“You got any eggnog around here?” I don’t have time to answer Grinder before his head is already inside my fridge, but it only takes him seconds to realize there ain’t nothing in there. “What the fuck, dude? How are we expected to perform surgery without anything to eat?” Jesus Christ, this guy is something else.
“Brother, you’re not doing shit except sitting and watching.” Shade, in all his tall, broody, glory, is suddenly in my living room, his tattoo travel bag in one hand, while the other carefully places his helmet on my kitchen table. “Mac’s gonna take it out and I’ll disinfect, clean it up real nice before she sews it back up.”
Ever since Prez was killed, Shade has been a little withdrawn. We all got hit with hard core grief but their bond was as tight as me and Psycho so his pain was that much deeper. The fact he’s here and not at Vanessa’s side means a fuckload to me.
“Thanks, brother. I appreciate you.” I stand and he walks over to me, our hands clasping as we lean in for a side hug.
“I got you, Bear. We take care of our own, right?”
“Fucking right.” The bonding between us ends there as Mac barrels over with her equipment, gloves pulled over her hands and a mask on her face. “Damn girl, you went all out.”
“I’m guessing you don’t want Athena to get an infection.” I can’t see her mouth but I see both her eyebrows shoot up, which only makes my grin widen. This woman cannot, for the life of her, raise one brow. It’s fucking hilarious but she gets points for trying, that’s for sure.
“Damn straight, I don’t.”
“Yeah, me either.” Athena says, taking a rubber band from around her wrist, and with a move that seems like witch work, does a loopy loop thing. In seconds, her hair is up in a messy bun that only makes her look sexier than before.
“Okay, so y’all give me space.” Mac points to all the brothers who take a step back and sit on whatever available surface they can find. Why they all needed to be here is beyond me. I mean, Grinder and Boner have nothing to contribute to this chip removing party. Bash though, yeah. I need to talk to him and see what exactly they found on that phone.
“We found the chip, it’s just between her shoulder blades, below her neck.” Because I don’t want them to see Athena’s scars, I grab some scissors from the kitchen and come back to cut her shirt just wide enough to pull the sides apart and give Mac the room she needs to work with it.
“Exactly where Glitch thought it would be,” Bash mumbles like he’s in awe of the tech guy the Reapers allow us to borrow once in a while.
Athena kneels on the carpet and lays her upper body across the coffee table after I’ve taken our forgotten cups back to the kitchen, where Bash follows me, Grinder and Boner in tow.
“We have to consider the possibility that their back-up is either here or on their way. These aren’t badly organized Rebels, these assholes are pros and this ain’t their first rodeo.” Bash’s back is to the living room, and as he speaks, my eyes lock on Athena’s, who’s waiting while Mac sterilizes her scalpel. I need to be there, holding her hand and giving her the support she deserves. The support she’s never had before.
“Yeah, I know, but right now, the only thing I want to think about is Athena. You get me?” Ripping my gaze from Athena’s bewitching green eyes, I look down at Bash and see the understanding in his nod.
“Of course. Go. We’ll plan something here in the meantime.” I stop right beside Bash as he speaks and shake my head.
“No. We all talk with her in the conversation. This ain’t just club business, this is her life.”
Moments later, I’m holding Athena’s hand as I watch Mac do her magic. She makes a neat little incision, pops out the chip, and places it in a baggie.
All the while we get as much intel from Athena as possible, but it turns out she really doesn’t know much that can help us. It’s not surprising but it is disappointing.
When Shade comes over, he cleans up the wound, looking at me over Athena’s head. I don’t need to read his mind to know exactly what he’s thinking.
These sick motherfuckers need to go down.