Chapter 61
Chapter Sixty-One
BELLAMY
I sat on the terrace, knitting the final sweater that needed to be done. Driscoll and Leoni sat on the tiled floor, poring over books and my father’s journal entries as I worked on the body of the sweater.
It had only been one week since I’d learned of my true identity, and I still couldn’t believe any of it. I’d been working with Kairoth to explore the extent of my powers. My father and brothers had trained me well growing up, but I didn’t even think my father knew the full extent of my magic as a goddess’s daughter. Plus, I’d only had six years with him before Khalasa struck.
My eyes closed, and my chin nodded against my chest. I jolted, the pin of the needle jabbing into my hand.
Leoni looked up from the diary entry. “Bellamy, you’re exhausted. You have to take a break.”
I shook my head, focusing on the sweater in front of me.
“I know your brothers don’t have much time left, but you’re doing too much. You’re visiting them every night. You’re going into your father’s mind, trying to fix whatever Khalasa did to him. You’re visiting Aron to make sure the axe is safe. And you’re also injecting your body with poison every day.” She gestured to the sweater. “It’s a lot for one person.”
I’d been missing out on so much all these years not letting others take care of me. Aron had always tried, but even then, I’d kept him at a distance, refused to really let him in or let him help me.
But ever since I’d so foolishly accepted that bargain with Khalasa, I’d realized how important it was to lean on others. So I let Driscoll and Leoni fuss over me. Well, mainly Leoni. She put salve on my hands, helped me gather supplies, got me food, made sure I was drinking enough. Driscoll mainly gossiped, which helped in its own way. His stories were so ridiculous they provided a surprising distraction for my mind as I harvested and knitted.
“Leoni, she’s a goddess.” Driscoll set down the book he was reading, pinning his gaze on me. “Can you even die?”
Leoni shot Driscoll a withering glare.
“What? Is that a rude question? Is it like asking someone’s age?” He peered at me. “How old are you, by the way?”
Leoni threw up her hands. “I give up. I cannot teach you. You’re an ingrate no matter what I do.”
“At least I’m a fun ingrate,” Driscoll mumbled.
“Have you found anything?” I asked. “Anything about how we might defeat Khalasa?”
“Big fat no,” Driscoll said.
Kairoth had left a few days ago to search for Khalasa, and my stomach had been in a permanent knot ever since. I worried about what she might do to him if he found her. What if she found a way to kill the gods? What if she trapped him somehow? Hurt him?
I hated being here, feeling so helpless, but I had to finish the sweaters. My brothers were barely themselves by this point. They’d deteriorated so quickly it was scaring me.
I sighed heavily.
Leoni bit her lip. “There is one thing I keep coming back to.” She flipped through the journal until she came to a page near the middle. “Your father saw Khalasa’s notes. He said he suspected he saw something in there that could be the answer, but that he couldn’t remember any of it, and he suspected Khalasa manipulated his mind. He said that in this entry.” She pointed to a page she was reading. “Do memories ever really disappear? Could it still exist in his mind? Be found somewhere?”
I set down my needle and sweater, thinking over her words. That wasn’t a terrible idea, except for the fact that my father’s brain was a tangled mess of nightmares and jumbled thoughts. He was lucid only a few moments an hour. Right now, he was sleeping in his room, pixies guarding him. I was doing my best to go into his dreams, fill them with happy, good memories. But it didn’t seem to be doing enough.
“Bellamy, the powers you have are vast,” Leoni said. “Kairoth said it himself. You can do things with the mind far beyond what a regular star elemental could. He said Khalasa could go into people’s minds, dig through their memories, put new memories in place by using her star power. So maybe you can do the same.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to put new memories in my father’s brain. I want him to be him. Not some false version.”
“No.” Leoni shook her head, a red curl tumbling loose from her bun. “That’s not what I mean. Maybe you can go into your father’s memories and find the one of him reading Khalasa’s notes. Maybe you can find out what he read.”
I straightened. That actually wasn’t a horrible idea. I knew how to do that. The only problem was that my father’s mind was such a mess, it wasn’t so straightforward as others’. His thoughts and memories weren’t in the places they were supposed to be.
I looked down at the sweater, the body now done, only one arm missing. I bit the inside of my cheek. I could finish this a little later.
After I went into my father’s mind. Tried to find that memory. Though it might all be pointless.
Either way, Leoni was right. I had to try.