Chapter 27
Icouldn’t stop thinking back to Jamie putting his hand on my lower back as he introduced me to Beth”s son, Chase. He hadn’t left it there long, just long enough for me to miss it after he moved it.
And for his parents to notice. Neither said anything, but Mary’s eyes sparkled with joy.
Doug announced, “ribs are done,” as he carried over a tray heaping with slabs of barbequed meat. My mouth watered as the sweet smell wafted over to us. Everyone commented on how good they looked and smelled as we took our seats. Doug set the tray down, then bowed his head in appreciation as he soaked up our rowdy applause. AJ carried over a second tray and placed it on the other end of the table before sitting down next to Ashley.
Once again, there was enough food to feed a small army. We heaped our plates with ribs, cornbread, potato salad, and corn on the cob. I savored every bite, and anytime I heard Craig’s voice scolding me, I looked at everyone laughing and stuffing their faces, and reminded myself that he was wrong. It didn’t matter if I indulged, or even over-indulged, on a good meal. No one here would judge me, and my value as a person wasn’t tied to my waist size. It was the perfect meal. Somewhere between my first and second piece of corn bread—I had to have two because Beth had made regular and jalape?o and it would have been rude not to try both—my anxiety about me and Jamie dating started to fade away. The steady flow of wine might have helped, but mostly it was the warm, welcoming atmosphere.
Jamie’s phone interrupted my thoughts. “Hey Eric, you’re just in time, come around the back and grab some food.”
We all scooted to make room for the two part-time SSI workers who’d just arrived. Jamie introduced me and Ashley to Sammie and Eric, which felt a little weird, since they’d been sitting outside my house, shadowing me, but also made perfect sense because we hadn’t actually met yet. It was nice to officially meet the people who sat outside my house day after day, keeping me safe.
After dinner, we played more bags, and this time everyone behaved. Chase insisted on teaming up with Meg. When I told Jamie I thought Chase had a crush on her, he agreed, saying, “Jack likes to tease Chase about trying stealing his girl.”
Ashley and AJ challenged me and Jamie to a game. I tried to decline, because I legit sucked at most games that required hand-eye coordination, but they wouldn’t let me. We lost, despite Jamie’s high point count. Jamie handled AJ’s trash-talk like a champ. I was too, until fear swept through me. Would Jamie be upset that we lost? Craig hated to lose at anything, and would get angry, especially if he thought it was my fault. And Jamie and I definitely lost because of me.
Jamie must have sensed my worry because he held my hand and said, “We’ll get ‘em next time.” My shoulders dropped about two inches as the tension drained from them. Hedoesn’t care that we lost. Hejoked about how bad I was as we walked away, whispering that he couldn’t wait to give me private lessons. I blushed, hoping the private lessons would include physical contact.
Chase wanted to play against his mom, so Beth asked John to be her partner. At one point I thought I saw Doug watching Beth, no, not watching, staring. But I dismissed it, somehow I couldn’t image stoic Doug having a thing for happy-go-lucky Beth.
I challenged Ashley and AJ to a rematch with some wine-induced smack-talk. Ashley promptly told me I talked a big game for someone who had to rely on her partner to score all the points. Jamie laughed and told her he’d happily help me kick their asses and let me take all the credit. He’s so sweet.
We won, by one point.
I jumped up and down and gave Jamie a big hug. “Thank God we won. I wouldn’t have been able to show my face if we lost after all my smack-talk.”
“We?” He asked, his arms around me, laughing. “Who’s this ‘we’ you’re speaking of?”
I’d only scored two points. “I thought we were a team?”
“We are.”
Everyone was having a blast, talking, playing, and drinking. As the sun set, Doug lit the bonfire and eventually everyone made their way over to sit and relax.
Chase had the energy of a puppy, running around talking to everyone and eating up all the attention heaped on him. Beth and Mary laughed as they blamed the three cupcakes he’d eaten.
Beth said, “He rarely gets a lot of sweets, but today’s a special occasion.”
“He’ll sleep great once the sugar high wears off.” Mary added. She should know, she’d raised three rowdy energetic boys.
Ashley and AJ were no longer being subtle as he played with her hair while she sat on his lap. Jamie noticed too, and offered to drive me home later so Ashley didn’t have to worry about it. I didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I didn’t tell him I had Ashley’s keys because she planned on making AJ drive her home after their night together.
The guys bonded over stories about high school and sports, while we girls got to know each other better. It felt a little weird talking to Mary as an adult, since I’d spent most of my life looking up to her as Mrs. Sheppard. But it was nice. Eventually, the two conversations converged and turned to more adult topics like careers, military service, family, and business.
Every once in a while, my mind would wonder back to the kitchen, where I’d agreed to go on a date, with Jamie Sheppard. Never in a million years would I have thought I’d be going on a date with my high school crush. Somewhere between high school and now he’d gone from being cute to being the kind of guy I read about in romance novels. I felt my cheeks flush and hoped no one would notice.
As the evening wore on, people started saying their goodbyes and going home. Mary gave me a hug when she and John said goodbye, which caught me off guard, but in a good way. When Doug offered to carry a sleepy Chase to Beth’s car for her, she gladly accepted. Eric and Sammie thanked Jamie for the invite, then reminded me not to take it personally if they didn’t say hi to me while they were working. I thanked them and promised them I wouldn’t.
There were only six of us left as the fire was slowing burning itself out. Meg was now sitting in Jack’s lap, her head resting on his shoulder, and Ashley and AJ had moved to the other side of the fire so they could make out. I didn’t know if they realized we could still see them, or if they even cared.
When Jack yelled, “get a room,” across the fire, AJ replied, “On it, boss.”
Jack and Meg. AJ and Ashley. Jamie and me?
My nerves got the best of me, again, so I told Jamie I had to use the ladies’ room and went inside. Once safely behind the locked bathroom door, I let my tears fall as I took care of business. Then I rinsed my face in cold water and told myself to take it one day at a time. Just because Ashley was hooking up with AJ, and Jack and Meg were engaged, didn’t mean Jamie and I had to pretend we were a couple, or hook up, or any of the other possibilities I had running through my head.
Yes, we were sitting close to one another. And we’d hugged each other, a lot, during the games. But we hadn’t gone on our date yet. so we weren’t a couple, yet.
Jamie was waiting in the hallway when I walked out of the bathroom. “Are you okay?”
Damn, was it that obvious?“Yeah.” I nodded without conviction.
“Em.” He took a step towards me. “You don’t have to pretend with me.”
I looked into his eyes and forgot why I was nervous. He’s so sweet.
And sexy. I wanted to kiss him. Right now.
“I know.” And I meant it. I slowly closed the distance between us as if under a spell. All I could think about was kissing him. I broke eye contact to look at his lips. My breath caught in my throat when one side of his mouth lifted in a grin. Am I going to do this? Can I take one more step, wrap my arms around his neck, and kiss him?
I could. When I pressed my palms against Jamie’s chest, I felt it rise just before he exhaled my name.
“Emily.” His rough voice sent shivers down my spine.
I raised up on my toes, so our lips were even, slid my hands up his chest and around his neck. I could feel his warm breath on my face and his hands on my waist.
“Kiss me.” I said a second before I pulled him closer so our lips touched. And I kissed him.
Jamie gripped my waist tighter before sliding his hands around my back and pulling my chest into his. I tilted my head and parted my lips to deepen the kiss. He moaned as his tongue danced with mine, making my head swim. I’d never felt so sexy in my life.
Jamie turned me and pushed me against the wall, his hand grabbing my ass, his kiss demanding. I gripped his neck, begging for more.
Then he was gone. The pressure of his hands. The warmth of his lips.
“Fuck. This is a mistake.”
My heart shattered. A mistake? With fresh tears blurring my vision, I pushed past him, grabbed my purse off the counter, and ran out the front door.
I ignored him when he called out, “Emily, wait.”
I’m a mistake. I unlocked Ashley’s car, hopped in, and fumbled with the keys. My tears were flowing freely, making it hard to see. But not so hard that I couldn’t see Jamie as he ran across the street.
As soon as the engine turned over, I yanked the car into drive and pulled away. I didn’t want to hear anything else he had to say. The word mistake echoed through my mind as I drove home, the road blurred by my tears.
God, I’d been so stupid. I tried to be more assertive, more carefree, more like Ashley. And it had totally backfired. Jamie thinks kissing me was a mistake. He’d been so nice all day. So charming.
Craig was charming, in the beginning, too.
When I turned onto our street, I looked for the SSI car but didn’t see it. Right. I was with SSI all day, so the person assigned to shadow me for the night wouldn’t start until I came home. Which I’d just done rather abruptly. I could only assume Jamie called whoever was scheduled after I left.
I pulled into my parents driveway, shoved the car into park, and shut it off before getting out, slamming the car door and storming to the porch. I looked over my shoulder as I fumbled with my keys, suddenly feeling exposed. There was no one here to protect me if Craig showed up.