Chapter 26
Ican’t believe I asked Emily out on a date .
The SSI company BBQ was a full-day event with food and games, plus a bonfire and s’mores after sunset. It was the perfect opportunity for me to talk to Emily as friends, with no pressure, and get to know her better. I wasn’t sure either of us was ready to take our relationship to the next level, but I figured it couldn’t hurt to test the waters and if nothing else we’d strengthen our friendship.
But then Emily got uncomfortable at lunch and I’d asked her to help me inside so I could check on her. While she was word vomiting, must be a female thing because Meg does it too, she let it slip that she liked me.
That was all it took for my defenses to crumble.
I grinned like a goofball, then asked her out in a round about way instead of directly, like a gentleman. In my defense, I hadn’t planned on asking her out at all, at least not today. The plan was to wait until things had settled, and then plan something nice. I totally fucked up that plan. At least I can still plan something nice.
How did I get from I can’t because I’m not ready, and she’s my best friend’s sister, to asking her out so quickly? Maybe it was the relaxed atmosphere, maybe is was the vulnerability in her eyes when she confessed. It didn’t matter. Whatever caused it, I”d given up the fight.
I couldn’t help but notice the expectant faces when we walked out together, carrying trays of baked goodies. I tried to convince myself they were all eager for my mom’s cookies and brownies, but I couldn’t.
They were bound to notice we were both more relaxed, and my-kid-in-a-candy-store grin. I’d never been good at policing my facial expressions outside of work. As a cop I’d had to, and you’d think it’d carry over into my personal life too, but no.
We didn’t say anything, and no one asked. They didn’t have to, their knowing glances said it all. It probably didn’t help that we sat a little closer and smiled a little more than we had before our trip inside.
Chris and Vicky came over about four-thirty, just missing my mom and dad, who, not wanting to miss out on Doug’s famous smoked ribs, said they’d be back after taking care of a few things. After Chris introduced Vicky to anyone she didn’t know, they sat down and grabbed some food.
Emily was nervous, and it showed. She stared at the ground anytime she wasn’t busy organizing or cleaning something. She wasn’t acting like herself and Chris was bound to notice. This isn’t how I want him to find out about us.
As if on cue, Chris asked, “Is everything okay? Did we interrupt something?”
“No man, it’s all good.” I hated keeping this from Chris, but now wasn’t the time or place to talk to him. I’d talk to Emily later, and we’d figure out a good time to do it together.
Chris and Vicky couldn’t stay long because they were taking advantage of a Zoe-free day and going to see a movie. Who can blame them? I wouldn’t want to spend my baby-free time with a group of people either.
Emily and I walked them to their car, hugged them goodbye, and sent them on their way. I refused to let the nagging guilt take up residence in my mind.We’d talk to him later, before our first date, because there was no way in hell I”d sneak behind his back.
Emily and I both relaxed after Chris left. Probably a little too much because it wasn’t long before I saw Ashley and Meg corner Emily, looking like expectant puppies waiting on a treat.
I barely had time to wonder if she’d tell them before AJ and Jack cornered me. Doug joined us a few minutes later. I could only assume Ashley put AJ up to this, and Meg probably encouraged Jack to help him. This is starting to feel more like a high school party instead of a business outing.
Doug crossed his arms but didn’t say anything as he watched Jack and AJ interrogate me, a grin on his face. I’d told Emily I wouldn’t tell anyone yet, but I wasn’t sure I could keep our secret without lying, so I feigned ignorance and did my best to avoid answering their questions.
Then I heard the giggles, and looked over at the girls, who were laughing and hugging. When I made eye contact with Emily, she shrugged and nodded. She’d told them. Which meant it was okay for me to tell the guys. When I begged them not to make a big deal out of it, they refused to make any promises.
Jack slapped my shoulder and congratulated me. “I’m happy for you, big brother.” He looked over his shoulder at the girls. “Meg is clearly thrilled. Don’t be surprised if she tackles you with a hug later.”
I laughed, knowing he was right. Which was fine by me, I never minded getting a hug from Meg.
After a few rounds of congratulations and more back slapping, we sat down around the unlit fire pit. Not long after, the girls joined us. Emily sat in the chair next to me, giving me the sweetish, shyest smile I’d ever seen. And my heart melted.
Turns out, it wasn’t so bad having everyone know about us. I doubted the guys would tease us too much, they liked Emily and wouldn’t want to make her uncomfortable. Of course, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t tease me when she wasn”t around. They didn’t give two fucks about making me feel uncomfortable. The price of admission to the brotherhood.
As I stood up to grab a round of drinks, Meg ran over and tackled me in a bear hug. Good thing I saw her coming, so I could brace myself. All the congratulations and excitement seemed overkill for a simple date. I had to ask, “It’s just a date, why are you so excited?”
“Because you look so happy.”
“She’s right.” Jack agreed. I’d say he agreed to make Meg happy, but I knew he meant it. “I’ll help you with the drinks.”
I’d talked to Jack earlier this morning and told him I was thinking about asking Emily out but wanted to know what he thought about the potential conflict of interest if we started dating. When I asked if it’d been difficult to stay professional when Meg was in danger, he his raised eyebrows. He was kind enough to not ask me if I was blind, or stupid, or both. Because it”d been damn near impossible for him to keep his cool when Meg was in trouble.
Instead, he said he trusted me to remain professional unless she was in immediate danger. “Then you’ll lose it, like I did. It’s part of who we are. You won’t be able to distance yourself any more than I could. In fact, it may be harder for you because of what happened to Isabelle. But trust me, we’ll bench your ass if we think you can’t keep your head on straight.”
Seven months ago, I’d said the same thing to him. I replied the same way he had. “You’ll try.” Then we laughed.
Jack was right, my history with Isabelle could make this job a hell of a lot harder for me. And while they might try, they wouldn’t be able to bench me, anymore than we’d been able to bench Jack. We’d managed to help him hold his shit together, but I don’t think Death himself could have prevented Jack from going after Meg. And he wouldn’t be able to keep me from doing the same for Emily.
Jack snapped my attention back to the present.
“You know, if anything happens, we’ll have your back. And hers. Just like you had mine and Meg’s.” Jack paused, giving it time to sink in. “I know your worried, but she’s worth the risk. You haven’t so much as looked at a woman since Isabelle died, let alone shown interest. So this is a big deal.”
“Thanks. I needed to hear that.”
“Anytime, big brother.” He gave me a hug. “Now let’s get moving, our women are thirsty.”
Our women. My smile stretched from ear to ear.
Conversation ebbed and flowed as we hung out, waiting for the ribs to finish smoking. The rich sweet smell of BBQ sauce hung thick in the air, making us all hungry even though we’d stuffed our faces at lunch.
After a while, we teamed up and played bags, which quickly turned into a game of dodgeball when Doug and I faced off against Jack and AJ. The girls were watching but scattered once bags started flying. I couldn’t blame them for not wanting to get caught in the line of fire. We’d all be sporting some pretty ugly bruises tomorrow, the consequence of not moving fast enough. We were going at it hard when Ma’s voice cut through the chaos, “James Richard and Jackson Edward, what do you think you’re doing?”
Oh fuck! She used our middle names.
We all spun around and stood at attention, dropping any bags we were holding. Unfortunately, AJ had already let one fly, and I didn’t see it until after it hit my arm.
“Fuck.” His eyes opened wide as saucers as he realized he’d just sworn in from of my mom. “Sorry.”
Mom looked annoyed, but ignored him. Dad looked amused, and shockingly didn’t say anything. I didn’t understand why she was upset until I noticed a bag on the ground a couple of inches to her left. Shit, it must have just missed her.
“Sorry Mrs. Sheppard.” AJ and Doug said at the same time Jack and I said, “Sorry Ma.”
“Game’s over boys.” Dad chimed in, “Unless you can play like civilized adults.”
I heard AJ grumble, “Where’s the fun in that?”
“What was that, Janerek?” His grin lessened the threat in his question.
“Nothing, sir.” AJ was only willing to push my dad, his boss, so far. Even if he didn’t seem upset. Funny how he never worried about that with me or Jack.
I’d been so focused on not getting yelled at that I hadn’t noticed Beth or her five-year-old son, Chase, until I heard him giggling. He loved it when dad got all authoritarian with us. I think it’s because we all stand at attention like the obedient soldiers we are whenever he used that tone.
“Beth, Chase, glad you could make it.” I walked over and hugged Beth before picking up Chase and swinging him around. “You’re getting so big. I won’t be strong enough to lift you if you keep growing.”
He hugged me back, giggling, then asked, “Where’s Auntie Meg?” He was squirming to look around me, so I put him down and pointed him in the right direction. He ran towards her, squealing.
Meg had met Beth, one of my mom’s closest friends, when she started working at Grannie’s, mom’s coffee shop, and they’d became fast friends. One night, Beth needed a babysitter on short notice and Meg had volunteered. She and Chase had been ‘bestest friends’, as he liked to say, ever since. Meg adored him as much as he adored her.
Jack grabbed Chase and lifted him up just before he barreled into Meg. “Whoa there, little buddy, let’s not knock Auntie Meg over, okay?”
“Okay.” He sounded impatient. “Put me down.”
Beth yelled, “Chase! Manners.”
“Please?”
“As you wish.” Jack winked at Meg as he placed Chase on his feet.
Meg went to one knee so she could hug him. “Hey Chase. What’s up?”
“I got a new coloring book and dinosaurs…” Chase talked up a storm, going a mile a minute. Meg listened patiently, indulging him until he got bored. She’ll be a great mom someday.
Beth made the rounds, greeting, or meeting, everyone. Then, as we watched Meg help Chase cheat at bags against Jack, I happened to look at Beth. She wasn’t watching Chase. She was staring across the game, at Doug. Really? I looked at Doug to see if he’d noticed, but he was busy checking the ribs.