Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
ANYA
E rik’s home is practically a castle.
It’s colonial in nature, with large columns out front. The front white brick is beautiful and welcoming. Yet this isn’t a house I want to enter.
Erik lives about an hour outside of the city, which means it’ll be even harder for me to see Nadia.
“You don’t look happy. Don’t like the look of my house?” He opens the car door and gets out, giving me his hand.
Slowly, I take it. If I can make Erik happy, then maybe my life will be easier. Maybe I’ll be able to save Nadia that way. But the thought of touching Erik when I know he’s killed and tortured people with these very hands causes a shiver to run through me.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him.
The driver backs out of the large circular driveway, leaving Erik and me alone. It’s the first time I’ve been alone with him since I met him a few hours ago.
This is it—I’m truly married to him. I’m truly his.
I tamper down my panic at the thought.
“So, why do you look so … disgusted?”
“I’m not disgusted.”
“Your nose scrunched up when you saw the house.”
“It’s not because it’s ugly. It’s not. It’s …”
He gives me a knowing look. “It’s because you’re afraid to be alone with me. I told you in the car, Anya, I’m not going to make you have sex with me tonight. Not when you’re so afraid.”
“You also told me I couldn’t trust you.”
“I did, didn’t I?” He glances at the house and back to me, looking more handsome than he should in the golden glow of the sunset. “I told you not to trust me with your secrets. I have a tendency to use anything to my own gain. Know that. I won’t sugarcoat this for you. But I also have no desire to hurt you physically. What do I get out of it? You’re beautiful. I like looking at you. Why would I hurt your face?”
“There are other places you can hurt,” I whisper.
He runs the backs of his fingers down my cheek, and I manage not to flinch this time. “There are. Do you want me to hurt them?”
I rip away from him. “No!”
“I didn’t think so.” He drops his hand and turns away from me. “There’s a limit to my madness. Get in my way, and I’ll cut you down. But if you stay in your lane, Anya, I’ll have no reason to hurt you.”
“Stay in my lane?”
“Be a good wife to me. And I’ll have no reason to hurt you.”
“What does a good wife look like?”
He sets his hard eyes back onto me. “You’ll learn in time. Now, come on. Let’s head inside.” Taking my hand again, he tugs me along.
I hate how cryptic he can be sometimes. I swear, he does it to keep me on my toes. How will I keep up with him if I can’t predict his next move?
With my father, I knew what would make him angry or set him off, but with Erik, it’s all a mystery.
The inside of the house is just as beautiful as the outside. Everything is cream and off-white with soft golden touches. It’s also huge. Every room, from the living room to the kitchen to the front foyer, which has a large spiral staircase leading to the second floor, is spacious.
Erik shows me to the upstairs bedrooms.
“This one is ours.” He opens a door, revealing a large master bedroom decorated in the same soft off-whites and creams and light browns. The bed seems larger than a king somehow. I didn’t even know that was possible.
I came from money, so glitz and glam doesn’t shock me, and yet Erik’s home shocks me. It shocks me because I never expected him to have such a warm house. I sort of expected a dark torture dungeon for décor.
My body tenses when I set my gaze on the bed.
Erik places his hand on my low back, and the weight of it rocks me to my core. “What are you thinking?”
“Do you actually care?”
“Why do you fight me on everything?”
I rip away from him. “Because I was forced to marry you. Because you made a deal with my father for my hand in marriage. I know your reputation. You’re literally known as the boogeyman within our circles. That doesn’t exactly instill trust.”
“All fair points. I won’t fight you on any of those. But that doesn’t mean you have to fight me on everything. I want to know what’s on your mind. Tell me.”
“And if I don’t?”
He stands so close to me that I have to crane my neck back to meet his eyes. “I could throw you onto that bed and spank the fire right out of you.”
I gasp.
“So, tell me, Anya.” He takes my face between his hands. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”
“I’m still scared you’re going to take me against my will.”
“I told you I wouldn’t.”
“It’s sort of hard for me to take you at your word.”
“Why?”
“Because—” I stop. It’s because of my father. He would constantly break his word to me. But to tell Erik this would be to give him a part of my past, and I’m not ready for that.
“Because?”
“Because of everything I just said. I don’t trust you.”
His strong hands on my jaw are so much softer than when my father would grab my face. I’ve never known this sort of touch before from a man. My mother would hug me. Nadia hugs me.
But the touch of my mom and sister are completely different from the touch of my husband.
“You don’t trust me,” he states. “I know. Turn around.”
I blink. “What?”
“Turn around, Anya.”
I want to ask him why, but I know how cryptic he can be. So, slowly, I do as he says, and my heart pounds as I do it.
His hands rest on my shoulders. It would be so easy for him to grab, throw me onto the bed, and have his way with me. Within the Bratva, marital rape isn’t a thing. And yet as a woman, I know it is.
But he doesn’t throw me onto the bed.
Instead, he runs his hands over the buttons at the back of my dress, then pushes my hair out of the way. I feel his breath right by my ear.
“You have a beautiful body. I wouldn’t want to scar it. So, hold still.”
I tense. “Hold still?” I glance over my shoulder at him and watch as he pulls out a small pocketknife from his jacket. “What are you doing with that?”
His smile is filled with pure darkness. “I said to hold still, Anya.”
Everything in me wants to run, yet my body is frozen. He’s going to kill me. He’s actually going to kill me.
And then he presses the knife to the buttons at the back of my dress and brings the knife down. He’s cutting the back of my dress open, I realize.
The cool air in the room tickles my back the moment he peels open the fabric. I hold my dress to my front so it can’t fall off me.
Without a word, he skims his fingers along my back. Goosebumps break out along my skin.
“I want you to get on the bed.”
I gasp. “But you said?—”
“I know what I said, Anya. I want you to get on the bed. On your stomach. If you’re going to be my wife, then you need to learn to do as I say and not ask questions.”
“I can’t. I can’t do this.”
“I said I wouldn’t rape you, and I won’t.”
“So, then, why do you want me to get on the bed?”
“You’ll just have to see.” Gently, he nudges me toward the bed. My feet somehow manage to move.
Slowly, I lie down onto the mattress, my bare back exposed to him. I’m suddenly aware of how my dress covers my butt. How it clings to my body. How Erik can see my every curve.
He rests his hand on my back—not too firm or soft.
“What are you doing?” I whisper. My eyes are glued to the wall next to me.
Erik doesn’t say a word as he holds his hand to my back. He stays like this for a long enough time that I actually find myself relaxing.
My breathing calms down, and my heart returns to a normal rhythm.
The moment I relax, Erik removes his hand from my back. “I just wanted to see how long it took you to relax under my touch.”
“You could’ve just told me that.”
He leans over me to say into my ear, “But it’s more fun this way.” Then he stands up. “You can get up. It’s been a long day. It’s time we go to bed.”
I scramble upright. “I’m not tired.” The thought of sleeping next to Erik is too much for me to bear right now.
“I have some work I need to attend to, so I’ll leave you for the night.” Without a goodbye, he leaves the room and shuts the door behind him.
Just like that, I’m alone in a strange house married to a strange man.
What scares me most of all is that my body began to respond to Erik’s touch. I actually relaxed. What does that say about me that my body could do that with a man like him?
I’m too scared of the answer.
My luggage is in Erik’s bedroom already. Someone must have gone to retrieve it for me. The thought that someone picked out my clothes and brought them here without me knowing makes me uneasy.
But I’m grateful I have my normal clothes with me.
I change out of the wedding dress and into simple loungewear pants and a top. No sexy nightie for Erik. I want to be as comfortable as possible.
Erik didn’t say I had to remain in his room all night long, so I decide to explore. This is my home after all. I have a right to look around.
The door, fortunately, isn’t locked. I tiptoe down the hallway, self-conscious of where Erik might be.
There’s no one else in the house. No guards. No housekeepers. It’s just me … and Erik somewhere. That thought doesn’t settle my stomach at all.
The one thing I didn’t bring was a cell phone. I can’t call Nadia and see how she is. Everything inside me is desperate to see her, and it’s only been a few hours since we said goodbye at the reception.
I need to know she’s all right.
I go into the kitchen to look for a phone, but there isn’t a landline. Of course, there wouldn’t be. No one has landlines anymore.
Erik must have a cell phone, though. If I could just get to it and call Nadia and know she was ok, I could get through this. But getting Erik’s phone would mean talking to him, and that’s not something I’m sure I can do after what we just shared in his bedroom.
The way he touched me was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.
I felt alight with fire yet covered in ice all at the same time.
I spend more time looking around the house, and eventually, I find Erik’s office near the back of the house. The door is cracked open. The office is decorated in warm wood tones and masculine-looking furniture.
Erik looks like a king behind his desk as he types on his laptop.
“Yes?” he asks without looking up.
“I don’t have my phone with me. It wasn’t brought with my things.”
His eyes flick up to mine then back down to his computer. “I wasn’t aware. I can buy you a new one.”
“Really?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
“I just thought … maybe you’d want to control me.”
He closes his laptop and sets the full force of his gaze onto me. “I have no desire to stop you from calling anyone. You’re not a prisoner, Anya.”
“I guess my father forgot to put my phone with my luggage.” I know exactly why—he doesn’t want me calling Nadia.
“Interesting. How does one forget that?”
Because my father is an abusive asshole . “I’m not sure,” I say instead.
“It might take me a few days, though, to get you one. I’m busy with work.”
“I could go buy myself one tomorrow. If you just give me some money …” I trail off when I see the look on his face. It’s not an open one.
“Anya, you’re not a prisoner, but I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t trust you to not try and run. You did before you even got married to me. Until I can trust you, I think it would be better if you remain in and around the house. I also have enemies. You’re much safer here than by yourself.”
I feel the vise slipping around me. “You could have a guard go with me.”
“I don’t want other men around you.”
“I thought you said you were a secure man.”
His lips twitch. “That doesn’t mean I’m not a little possessive. I’ll get you a phone; don’t worry. I’m assuming you want to talk to your sister.”
“I do.”
“Then, here. An olive branch.” He hands out his own phone to me. “This is a spare of mine. Not my main phone. There are no numbers plugged into it. You can call your sister on this.”
“Thank you,” I breath out as I rush to grab the phone.
He pulls it back before I can grab it. “I’m trusting that you won’t cause any problems with this?”
“I’m not a child. I know how to behave.”
“Mmm.” He looks me up and down. “Shame. I like a little disobedient attitude every now and again.”
My stomach clenches with an unknown feeling. It’s both fear and … desire? I quickly push it aside.
“I only want to call my sister. That’s it.”
He nods once and hands me the phone. The second it’s in my hands, I walk out of his office so he can’t hear me. I go as far away from his office as I can get in this house.
It takes me a moment to remember Nadia’s number, and then I call her.
She doesn’t answer.
I call her again, and this time, I leave a message. “Nadia, it’s Anya. I’m calling from Erik’s phone. Next time, pick up.”
I try her again, and still, she doesn’t answer. I check the time—it’s only 8 p.m. It’s too early for her to be in bed yet. She usually spends her time in her room reading, so I know she can hear her phone.
So, why isn’t she answering?
I call again and again, and not once does she answer.
Something’s wrong. I feel it in my gut. Our father will hurt her if he hasn’t already. I need to get to Nadia and save her before he can do irreparable damage to her.
The last thing I want to do is ask Erik for help, but he’s all I have, and I have to try.
I go back to his office and wait for him to look up at me.
“Yes?”
“I think something’s wrong. My sister is not answering. Can we go over there to check on her and see if she’s all right?”
“You and me?”
“Well, I know you won’t let me go by myself, and I’m trying to behave. So, I’m asking. Can you take me to my father’s house? I need to see Nadia.”
“Anya, you’ve been away from her for less than a day. It’s only been a few hours. I’m sure she’s fine.”
“You don’t understand!”
“Then enlighten me.”
This is the moment I could tell him about my father’s abuse. But my father would be furious if Erik found out, and it would only end up hurting Nadia more.
“It’s nothing,” I grumble.
“You’re lying to me again.”
“I just want to see her. Please.”
“Begging does not become you.” He turns back to his computer. “I have work to do. If you want to see her, we can go tomorrow.”
I’m not sure I can wait all night to know if she’s ok. Not when she’s not answering her phone. Nadia would always answer. I know it.
“Fine,” I say, then leave his office, knowing full well I’m not going to wait until tomorrow.
I’m going right now to see Nadia. Erik cannot stop me.
Thankfully, my father made sure to pack my sneakers with my luggage. I’ll need comfortable shoes to escape.
One thing I noticed when coming up to Erik’s house is that he has no guards except for one near the front gate. If I can get past him, I’m free.
I leave through the front door without Erik even noticing and walk as fast as I can to the front gate.
Erik’s guard is in a booth, playing on his phone. The large gate in front of me is impossible to climb with the pointy metal spikes at the top. There’s no other way out.
“Excuse me,” I say to the guard, who jumps when he sees me.
“Yes?”
“Would you mind opening the gate?”
He looks between the gate and me as he shifts in his seat. “I’m going to have to call Mr. Koslov and get his permission. I can’t open the gate without it.”
“Surely you can make an exception this one time. I’m his wife.”
“I know who you are, Mrs. Koslov. But I still need Mr. Koslov’s permission.”
“That’s fine.” I look into his booth and notice a button on the desk that surely must open the gate. The second the guard looks at his phone to dial Erik’s number, I lung into the booth and press down on the button.
The gate starts to open.
“Wait!” he says as I slide through the tiny gap in the gate and make a run for it.
My head start is minimal. The guard will call Erik, and he’ll come after me in his car.
Trees surround me as I run down the road. That’s my only play. I dive into the woods and use the cover of the trees to help hide me.
It only takes a few minutes before I see Erik’s car coming down the road. He’s going slow. Looking for me.
I move farther into the woods and keep running. I don’t really have a plan. I just need to know if Nadia is safe.
My foot slams into a root, and I fall face first onto the ground.
All my momentum is gone. Just like that.
Erik’s car stops, and he gets out and comes right toward the section of woods I’m hiding in. I scramble up and get behind a tree.
His footsteps are loud as they crunch on leaves. “Anya, I know you didn’t get far. Just come out. It’ll be easier for you if do.”
My entire body is frozen.
Erik gets closer and closer until he rounds the tree and sees me. “There you are.”
And I run.
He quickly catches me around the waist and pulls me flush against me. “All you had to do was wait for tomorrow, but already, you’re disobeying me. Why?”
“Because I need to see my sister. I need to know she’s all right!”
“Why wouldn’t she be all right?”
I go silent.
“Anya? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing.”
“Anya!”
All the fight leaves my body, and I slump against him. “My father likes to hit me.”
Erik goes still for a long moment before letting me go. I turn to face him. Having my back to Erik is not a good feeling.
“He hits you?”
“All the time. And I’m worried he’s doing the same to Nadia. I tried calling her, and she’s not answering. I need to know if she’s all right.”
Erik studies me with his dark eyes, and I feel like I’m on display at a museum. “You really care about her. Your sister. You’re worried.”
“I am. There. Now, you know my secret. You can use it against me. You can hit me all you want for lying. But I need to know Nadia is safe. That’s what I care about most.”
“You shouldn’t have told me that. Trusting me with your secrets is not a smart move.”
“I don’t care.”
He sighs deeply. “Anya, you just told me your sister is who you care about most in this world. You just gave me permission to hit you if I wanted to. I have no desire to hit you. But telling me you care about Nadia means I can use Nadia against you.”
“You wouldn’t,” I whisper, backing away from him. “You can’t.”
“I didn’t say I would. But it’s an option now because you handed it to me on a silver platter.”
“Please don’t hurt her.”
“I’m not going to hurt her. But I can use her for my own benefit. I’ll have to think about it. But for right now, I’m taking you home. We’ve been married for less than a day, and you’ve already tried to run from me. Strike one against you, Anya.”
“What does that mean?”
Without a word, he holds out his hand. I know I’m expected to take it, so I do. There’s no point in fighting because I’m not going anywhere.
Erik takes us back home. The guard glares at me as we pull into the driveway.
“Jerry hates you now,” Erik says. “You made him look like a fool.”
“I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to get to my sister.”
“Sometimes, Anya, it’s good to look outside yourself.” He gets out of the car and shuts the door behind him. Erik doesn’t even look back to see if I’m following. He knows I will because I have no other choice.
We get inside and go to our bedroom.
“Now, I didn’t want to do this to you so soon, but I have to admit, I’m kind of glad you already acted out. I’ve been wanting to spank your ass ever since I first saw you.”
I gasp. “What?”
“You need to learn you can’t run from me, Anya. So, get on the bed. Let’s get this over with.” His grin tells me he wants to make this last for as long as possible.
“If I do this, do I get to see Nadia tomorrow?”
He considers it, then nods. “Deal. Lay on the bed.”
I do as he says and feel Erik step up behind me. His entire presence is strong and masculine and intimidating.
I’m used to pain. None of this is new. And I’m willing to face pain again to save my sister.