Chapter 4
Chapter
Four
ANYA
O ur guests have already arrived.
The large ballroom of the Ritz Carlton hotel is filled with everyone already chatting, dancing, and eating. I feel like I walked in on a party I don’t belong at, even though this party is for me.
Erik and me.
He holds my hand in his firm grip as we walk into the ballroom. Men and women clap for us. I spy my father in the crowd, and for the first time in his life, he looks moderately happy. I know it’s not because of me. It’s because he just gained even more power with Erik at his side.
Nadia is beside him, still looking just as afraid as she did at the church. I want to run over and comfort her, but Erik whisks me onto the dance floor. Everyone gives us space for our first dance.
The music becomes slow and romantic. It’s not a song I would have picked out. I want a song I can run to so I can get as far away from Erik as possible.
Settling his hand on my waist, he pulls me in close. His other hand grabs my hand, and I’m forced to rest my other hand on his chest to steady myself.
We begin to waltz around the floor.
“You can dance,” he murmurs into my ear.
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Your father never mentioned you could dance.”
“I’m sure there’s a lot my father didn’t tell you about me.”
His eyes speak something dangerous. “I’m sure.”
I stumble, but Erik catches me and smoothly helps me recover. I glance around at our guests and find many of them watching us. Some are completely ignoring us as they talk among themselves. My father’s eyes haven’t left us since we arrived.
Even though Erik terrifies me, I need to make an effort with him. For Nadia’s sake.
“I was put into lessons when I was a girl.”
Erik looks down at me. “Did you just tell me something about yourself?”
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
He pulls me in closer so we’re chest to chest. I swear, I can feel his heart beating through his suit. At least that means he has a heart. But the question is: Is he capable of love?
And do I care if he is? I have no desire to love a monster like him, so it shouldn’t matter if he loves me or not.
“Tell me more,” he says.
“My father thought it would be good for my sister and me to know how to dance. So, we spent countless hours learning how to waltz and do ballet. But I haven’t practiced in years.”
“Why did you stop?”
“Because my father also thought it would be inappropriate for a young woman to be flinging her body around, so he stopped my dance classes.”
We glide around the floor with ease. It’s almost as easy as breathing, but the second I realize this, my body tenses. I can’t believe I’m casually conversing with a man like Erik Koslov. A man who has a reputation for doing unspeakable things to people.
“Were you sad to stop your classes?”
I was, but I don’t want to tell Erik that. I’m afraid he’ll use any weakness against me.
So, I choose to lie again. “No. I hated dance. In fact, I hate it right now.”
“Then, too bad we’re dancing. I’m sure this is torture for you.”
“Since you’re good at torturing people, that seems to fit the bill.”
His lips quirk into a smile. “I can’t tell if you’re lying or telling me the truth.”
Sweat forms on my back, and I keep my face neutral, lest I give something away. “Why would you say that?”
“Because you’re still a mystery to me, Anya. And I’ll let you in on a little secret,” he murmurs into my ear. “I don’t like mysteries. I like to know my enemies.”
“I’m your enemy?” I ask breathlessly.
“I feel like you think I’m your enemy, so in a way, that makes you my enemy. Let me offer you some advice.”
“Can you not?”
He smirks. “Don’t lie to me. Life will be easier if you’re just honest with me.”
“Then don’t lie to me either. If you’re going to hurt me, then just tell me so I don’t have to worry about it.”
He stops us in the middle of the dance floor. His hands tightens on my waist, and a flood of heat moves through my body. It’s sudden and intense, and I don’t fully understand it. “I’m not a good man, Anya. I won’t deny that. In fact, I love hurting people. But if you’re a good girl, I won’t hurt you.”
A shiver runs down my spine, and my breath comes out in a fast pant. My vision turns black at the edges for a moment before clearing.
“And if I’m not a good girl?”
He places his fingers under my chin and tilts my face up toward his. “Then I’ll have to put you in your place.” He runs his thumb over my cheek. “You really are beautiful. You blush so easily. I like that. It gives me a sign of what you’re really thinking.”
“What does it tell you?”
“That you’re not telling me the full truth. Don’t lie to me, Anya. I don’t appreciate liars.”
My arms go limp as he continues to hold me. All the fight leaves my body. “I don’t know what you mean.”
His eyes narrow.
The doors to the ballroom open up, and shock whispers go through the crowd. It forces Erik’s gaze away from me as he turns to look.
After a beat, I do the same.
A man has entered the ballroom. Not anyone I know. He looks to be around Erik’s age—in his thirties—with black hair and a wicked grin. His skin is tanner than a lot of the other peoples’ skin in the room. Russians aren’t known for their super tan skin.
Which means this man probably isn’t Russian.
“Dante,” Erik says in a clipped voice.
Definitely not Russian. Dante is an Italian name.
“Erik,” he replies, stepping right onto the dance floor and approaching us. “Is this your new wife?”
Erik lets me go and places himself between Dante and me. Interesting. “Clearly. Why are you here?”
“I just wanted to wish you congratulations.”
“At my wedding? You weren’t invited.”
“I didn’t feel like I needed to be.”
“Leave,” Erik practically growls. “I don’t want a filthy Italian like you at my wedding.”
“You think I’m filthy? I could say the same about you Russians. Do you ever take showers?”
“You said you didn’t want a war. I haven’t gone after you, so, why are you here?”
Dante shrugs and makes a big show of looking around the room. “Because I heard about your wedding, and I wanted to see it for myself. This isn’t me starting a war. This is just me wishing you good luck in your marriage.”
“No. This is you trying to intimidate me. This is a warning. By coming here, Dante, you’re trying to start a war.”
“Am I? Maybe I am. Maybe I’m itching to fight with you.”
“And I’ll gladly give it.” Erik’s smile is savage. “I’ll happily cut you from cock to mouth and watch you bleed out before me. I might even feed you your cock for good measure.”
This is Erik at his scariest. His true, Bratva self.
The beast within him that craves bloodshed.
For a moment, I let myself not fear him as we danced, but that was foolish of me. Erik is a monster, and I can’t forget that.
Dante’s smile is equally as savage. “I’d love to see you try.”
“We can go right now if you want. It would be a shame to get my wife’s wedding dress bloody, though.”
“It would be.”
The two men stare each other down for a long, tense moment. No one else in the room even breathes. The musicians have stopped playing. There is nothing but these two men, glaring at each other until one finally moves.
It’s Dante who moves first. “Like I said, Erik, I just wanted to wish you a happy marriage. Have a fun time with your wife.” His eyes flick to me, and his grin deepens. “Russian whore.”
Erik’s face twists into something animalist right before he swings his fist at Dante, who manages to dodge out of the way with a laugh.
“Get the fuck out of here,” Erik says. “Before I shoot you.”
Dante holds up his hands and backs away. “Congratulations.” He looks over at my father. “And this is the father of the bride, yes? You have a beautiful daughter.”
My father’s frown deepens, making his wrinkles more pronounced. I didn’t even think that was possible. He nudges Nadia behind him.
Dante notices the motion. “And is that your other daughter?” He makes a big show of looking between Nadia and me. “I see the good looks run in the family.”
“Just go,” Erik says.
Dante nods once before turning on his heel, whistling as he leaves. The second he’s gone, the entire room breaks out into chatter.
Erik turns to me and shakes his head. “Fucking Dante.”
“Who was that?”
“Dante Moretti. Mafia boss. And a real fucking pain in my ass.”
“Why didn’t you attack him?”
His eyebrows raise up. “I didn’t think you’d want a fight happening on your wedding day.”
“But you didn’t marry me because you care about what I want or don’t want. You married me for your own selfish reasons. And I know your reputation. Why didn’t you try to kill him if you hate him so much?”
“Because, despite my reputation, not everything needs to end in bloodshed.” He settles both of his hands on my waist. “And besides, I couldn’t risk him hurting you.”
“Why? You don’t care about me.”
“It’s not about care, Anya. It’s about possession. You’re mine now. I just got you. I’m not ready to lose you yet.”
I settle my hands over his to push them away, then I stop and look at him more closely. “How can you want me yet not care about me?”
“Isn’t that the question?” He pulls me closer to him and re-grabs my hand. “We didn’t get to finish our dance.”
“You want to dance after that?”
“Why wouldn’t I? I don’t stay upset when people try to ruin my life. If I did, I’d probably be dead by now. I’ve learned to appreciate things when I they fall into my lap, and you, Anya, have fallen straight into my lap.”
“How much longer?” I whisper, hating that I sound so scared and weak.
“Are you that anxious to be away from me?”
“Yes,” I answer honestly.
Erik looks at me for a moment before letting me go. “We can be done. We should eat anyway. Wouldn’t want the food I paid for to get cold.” He still keeps his hand on mine and walks us over to our table, where my father and sister are seated.
Only one other person is already seated there—a young man, similar in looks to Erik.
“This is James,” he explains. “One of my men. My number two, actually.”
James nods in greeting but doesn’t say anything else.
“This must be Nadia,” Erik says, extending his hand out to her. Tentatively, she takes it and then promptly lets him go.
Erik pulls out my chair for me. Pretending to be a gentleman, I notice. But I know he’s anything but, and no act of chivalry will change my mind about him.
“So, Sergei, we’re officially partners now,” Erik says.
My father nods and dabs at his mouth with a napkin. “Good to see that we are. My daughter will make you proud.”
I can feel Erik’s gaze on me, but I keep my eyes locked to my plate. “I’m sure she will. Anything I need to know about her that you failed to mention before we got married?”
I look up at my father quickly. Will he tell Erik that he beats me? Or that Nadia might be the victim of my father’s anger now?
But it’s all too much to hope for, and my father smiles and shakes his head. “Not one thing. Anya will be a perfect wife to you.” That’s a subtle threat. Make Erik happy, or Nadia will be hurt.
“I have to use the restroom,” I blurt out, standing up so fast, I almost lose my balance. Erik catches my waist and gives me a look I don’t care for. It’s one of darkness and desire.
He wants me . Even though he doesn’t care for me, he wants my body. I know it. It’s at this very moment I realize I want the wedding reception to last as long as possible so our wedding night doesn’t have to happen.
“You didn’t ask your husband’s permission,” Father grits out.
“I don’t need Erik’s permission to pee. Nadia, come with me.”
“No.” Father lays his hand on her arm. “She’ll remain here at my side.”
“What if she needs to pee, too?”
“Stop saying that word. It’s vulgar.” He turns to Erik. “I’m sorry about my daughter. Anya can sometimes be …”
“A spitfire?” Erik offers. “I don’t mind it. In fact, it makes things interesting. And if the girls want to go talk, let them talk. It doesn’t bother me.”
It clearly bothers my father. He’s probably terrified I’m going to run again. Not now. Not when Erik owns me and knows who I am. He knows who Nadia is. She’s not safe, and I can’t risk that.
Slowly, Father lets Nadia go, and she rushes out of her seat to follow me to the restroom.
The moment we’re alone, I throw my arms around her. “Are you ok?”
“I should be asking you that. You’re the one married to … him .”
“I can handle Erik.” At least, that’s what I’m going to tell myself, even though I know it’s a lie. “But what about you? Has Father said anything? Does he plan on hurting you now that I won’t be living with you?”
“He hasn’t done anything. But as long as we’re still in each other’s lives, I know I’ll be safe. He can’t keep us from seeing each other.”
He might, but there’s no point telling Nadia that. It’ll only make her worry more.
“Just promise me that if he tries to hurt you, you’ll run away.”
“And go where?” she asks, leaning against the counter. “I couldn’t escape with you. What makes you think I would be able to escape on my own?”
“You need to be brave, Nadia. I need you to be brave.”
She hugs her arms around herself. “You were always the brave one. Not me. I need you to be brave for me.”
“You know I will be. But I need you to try. I need you to try and stay safe from Father. I couldn’t bear the idea of you getting hurt.”
“Maybe Erik will let me live with you.”
I go still. Nadia around Erik is the last thing I want. If I don’t trust our father, then I trust Erik even less. At least with our father, Nadia knows his moods. She can plan for it. She can avoid him when he’s angry.
But I have no idea what Erik will do, and for that, I can’t risk Nadia being around him.
“Maybe,” I say lamely.
A knock on the bathroom door makes us both jump.
“Girls, come out of there.” It’s our father.
Nadia gives me one more quick hug. “Stay safe.” She’s out the door before I can say anything else.
After a long moment, I follow her.
Father motions her back toward the ballroom, and she obediently goes. Then he turns the full force of his glare onto me. “What did you two talk about?”
“Nothing.”
“It’s never nothing with you, Anya.” He grabs my face and pushes me against the wall. There’s no one else in the hallway. “What were you talking about?”
“ Nothing ,” I repeat. “We just hugged and talked about my wedding. That was it.”
He glares at me. “You will never see her again.”
“What?”
“You heard me.” He lets my face go, but in the process, he pushes my head against the wall. I wince from the sting of it. “I need you on your best behavior around Erik. I can’t have you ruining what I’ve been building with him. So, to keep you in line, I’m going to keep you from Nadia. After this wedding, you will never see her again.”
“You can’t keep her from me.”
“She’s a minor. So, I can do whatever I want with her. This is your punishment, Anya. Be a good wife to Erik, and I won’t hurt Nadia. Simple as that.”
“What happens when she turns eighteen?”
“I’ll just marry her to someone who’ll make a good business partner. One who can expand my business even more. Maybe then you’ll be able to see her. But maybe not. And I know you won’t want to risk your sister’s safety, so do as I say. Be a good wife to Erik. Don’t piss him off.”
“Why are you already acting like I’ve done exactly that?”
“Haven’t you?”
I stare at my father aghast. I’ve always known he was a bad man, but this is taking it too far. Beating me was one thing, but preventing me from seeing my sister just to control me is too much. I might die inside if I never get to see Nadia again.
“If you hurt one hair on her head,” I say in a low voice, “I will hurt you.”
His laugh is dismissive. “I’d like to see you try, Anya. Just be a good girl.” He pats my cheek so hard, it’s almost a slap before heading back into the ballroom.
I take a moment to compose myself, then re-enter the party. Everyone else seems like they’re having a good time. Lucky for them.
My eyes fall onto Erik, who’s still seated at our table. His eyes are locked on me.
With a sigh, I go over to him. My father and Nadia are by the food, so they’re not at the table.
Erik looks at me for a long moment after I take my seat. “What happened to your face?”
“My face?”
He touches my jaw, which still stings from where my father held on too tightly. “Here. Your makeup is smudged.”
“I thought men weren’t supposed to notice makeup.”
“I’m an observant man, Anya. So, care to tell me what happened?”
I look at my father across the room and Nadia beside him. I doubt my father would want me telling Erik about his abuse. I’m supposed to be a good girl after all.
“I ran my hands over my face in the bathroom. I must have smudged my makeup then.”
He drops his fingers from my face. “Are you lying to me right now?”
I quickly look at him. “No! What makes you think I’m always lying?”
“Call it a hunch.”
“Not everyone is like you. Some of us are good people who tell the truth. I accidently messed up my makeup. Not a big deal.”
“Mmm.” He looks at me for a long time, and I force myself to look back. Eventually, he looks away from me and leans back in his seat.
James remains quiet, but he does look between Erik and me in a way I don’t like. Too studious. Too curious like he’s trying to figure us both out.
The party continues.
My father and sister rejoin us, with my father looking happier than ever while Nadia looks even more dejected.
I don’t dare get up to dance. My father might punish Nadia for it if he thinks my behavior is inappropriate, and I don’t want risk Erik distrusting me even more than he does, so I play the good girl and sit at the table the rest of the night.
Until the time comes when Erik stands up and holds his hand out to me. “It’s time, Anya.”
“Time … for what?” We both know I’m playing dumb.
“Our wedding night.”
My entire body freezes. It’s my father who grabs my arms and hauls me to my feet. “She’s ready. Go with him, Anya.”
“I got this,” Erik murmurs.
My father flushes and quickly nods. “Sometimes Anya can be stubborn. Just be aware of that.”
Erik takes my hand, and I force my legs to move as we walk through the ballroom. Some men whoop and holler and call out disgusting comments, like “It’s time to deflower the virgin,” and “Have fun exploring unexplored depths.”
Erik doesn’t tell any of the men to shut up. Instead, he only smirks and keeps on walking. I shoot glares in all directions, but I don’t know who’s speaking. There’s too many people I don’t know.
This wedding wasn’t for me at all. I had no say in it. I didn’t pay for anything. Plan anything.
This party was for people who don’t even care what happens to me. Because if anyone did care, they’d help me escape so I didn’t have to be alone with Erik on our wedding night.
He leads me outside and back into the car that took us to our reception. The same driver gets behind the wheel and takes us away from the hotel.
“Do you know what will happen tonight?” Erik asks. His voice seems so loud in the quiet car.
“We’re going to have …”
“Sex. It’s expected of couples on their wedding night.”
“Right.” I let out a rough breath. “And you expect that of me?” I can’t even look at him as I ask. If I do, I might completely break and crumble.
“You did say you wanted to do your duty, did you not?”
“You’re right. I did say that.”
“Look at me, Anya.” His voice is surprisingly soft. Well, soft for him.
Slowly, I turn to face him, forcing my eyes up to his.
“You’re trembling.” He cups my face with his palm. “Shaking. You’re scared.”
“Of course, I’m scared. I’ve never done this before. You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?”
His gaze searches mine before he drops his hand. “I have no desire to have sex with a woman who’s scared out of her mind. I want you willing in my bed.”
“What do you mean?”
“I won’t have sex with you tonight.”
I’m so shocked by his words that it takes me a second to process. “You won’t?”
“I like to hurt people, Anya. But I don’t want to make you suffer on our wedding night. I have no desire for that. I want sex to be enjoyable, and right now, you would make it the furthest thing from enjoyable. So, we can wait. I don’t really care all the much about tradition anyway.”
I stare at Erik and search his face, looking to see if he’s telling me the truth. Nothing in his expression suggests he’s lying.
It makes me say something that I never thought I would say to a man like him. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me.”
I inhale and exhale deeply. “I loved to dance,” I admit. “I was sad when my father forced me to give it up. I was devastated. So, I lied before.”
I have no idea why I tell him this other than it feels like the right thing to say.
Erik doesn’t speak for a long time. “Anya, don’t trust me with your secrets. I’m not a man you trust.” He sounds strangely open and vulnerable, yet his words directly contradict them.
All I can do is sit there and hope Erik will keep to his word and not hurt me tonight.