Chapter 19
RONAN AND THANE
Thane doesn’t loosen his grip on his husband until they reach the parking garage.
When he does, the first thing he sees is tears. Carefully, gently, he wraps Ronan in his arms.
“So…that did not go as planned.” He kisses his husband’s hair. “Not that we had a plan.”
Ronan sniffles. “Why him? Why is Oakley with him?”
A reasonable enough question, but Thane knows Ro won’t like the answer.
“First of all, we don’t even know what we walked in on.”
Ronan glares up at Thane, eyes bright red. “Did you see how Oakley talked to him? Told him he would take care of everything? He wouldn’t do that unless he was already invested.”
“Maybe, but—”
Ro doesn’t wait for Thane to finish his thoughts. “What hurts is that I recognize the look on Silas’s face.”
“What did you see?”
“He’s in love with our son. That’s obvious.” Ronan lets Thane open the car door for him. He collapses into the passenger seat. “And our son is right there with him. It smelled like sex in there. Like they’d been having sex all night long.”
“Which is why he didn’t get back to us.”
“Don’t act like that. Don’t act like I’m being ridiculous. You saw the body-cam footage from when we found Silas. He was more animal than human.”
“The footage from over twenty years ago? That footage?” Thane asks gently.
Tears slip silently down Ronan’s cheeks.
Thane continues, “Edison and Ant and Erik did everything they could to walk him back to his humanity.”
“That doesn’t mean they succeeded,” Ro says weakly. “Look at that vicious dog of his. Look at those tattoos. Who covers themselves in horror?”
Thane goes quiet as he starts the engine.
“I’m not made of glass. Just say it.”
“Oakley asked an important question.” Thane rubs his chest. “Do we trust his judgment?” His jaw trembles. “We didn’t answer him, and that was a mistake.”
Ronan presses his forehead to Thane’s shoulder. His mouth twitches downward. “I have always trusted my son.”
“And do we trust that we’ve given him the skills necessary to make the best choices for his own life?”
Ronan sniffs. “Yes. Of course.”
His answer is barely above a whisper, but certain. They have done their best to raise a levelheaded man, and Oakley has always proved himself to be exactly that.
His choice to pursue psychology wasn’t exactly a surprise. His choice to specialize in abnormal psychology, though, had always seemed like an odd one to his fathers. Still, Oakley took it on with his typical steadfast determination, and they are proud of his hard work.
“Do you think Oakley loves him because he’s a psychopath?” Ro asks.
Thane ponders, slow to answer.
“Oakley respects the neurodivergent mind too much to fetishize it.” Thane lets out a long breath.
“More importantly, our son has always loved big. I can’t imagine he’d be attracted to someone incapable of loving him back.
I can’t imagine he would want a meager sort of love.
Which probably means that Silas is not a psychopath. ”
“Stop making sense,” Ronan says into Thane’s shoulder. He shakes his head. “But do you think he went into abnormal psychology because of Silas?”
“It’s a possibility,” he answers. “Oak’s been asking questions about Sy since he knew he existed.”
Thane knows this next part is probably going to hurt his husband’s feelings. But it needs to be said.
“To be honest with you, I’m certain it was Oak who suggested the Wildlings bring him into the fold.
” Thane reaches across, cupping the back of Ro’s head.
“Oakley isn’t like the other Wildlings. He’s never done things out of defiance.
He would’ve made a case for Silas, and the Wildlings would’ve followed his lead. ”
Ro’s tears wet Thane’s shoulder.
“Our son loves us very much, Ro. He wouldn’t go against us just to make a point. But he would move toward something he felt was right. He’s choosing Silas because he sees him. Probably because he values the hard work Silas has put in.”
Ro’s laugh is watery. Sad. “So I’m not supposed to take it personally?”
“Darling, I would never tell you how to take a damn thing. But I need you to see if you can find some separation between Junior and Senior. Sy—our Sy—could’ve become like Blake.
Instead, he takes all the things he was made to be, even the darkest parts of himself, and he uses them for good.
He works with the team to root out organizations like the ones Blake built.
Which, when you really think about it, is admirable. Brave, even.”
“Do you really believe that?”
“Yes.” Thane takes a deep breath and lets it out.
“His presence has always disturbed me. His discovery is one of those things I wish I could unsee. Of all the monsters we ever encountered, I was never more terrified than when I saw him on the screen, blood dripping from his chin. The memory of his eyes still sends a shiver through my soul. It’s like Oppenheimer with the atom bomb, you wish you could uncreate something.
But we didn’t create Silas. And we didn’t put him down.
And we couldn’t abandon him. We made sure he had the best parents available to him, and in return, he’s done everything he can to be something good in the world.
I also don’t think the circumstances of his birth mean he should forever be alone. ”
“But does it have to be our son?”
“No. But Oakley doesn’t do a damn thing he doesn’t want to. He never has. This is not a sacrifice for him. If he wants Silas in his life, it’s not out of a sense of duty or charity. He likes who Silas is.”
The silence in the car is an entire conversation.
“I don’t know what to do. I’m just so terrified for Oak.”
Thane puts the car into Drive. “I know. We’ll figure this out. Somehow.”