Chapter 47
“I don’t know what to do,” I cried, feeling foolish for breaking down in front of Trevor, especially since he probably blamed me for Jackson losing his big fight. He never wanted us together, and we should’ve listened. The last thing I wanted was to ruin Jackson’s career.
“There’s nothing you can do. It’s not your fault.” He squeezed my shoulder. “It’s Jackson’s for taking his focus off his brother. And it’s Jay’s for going after Jackson’s shoulder, a weakness he was fully aware of.”
“Why are you being so nice to me, Trevor? I don’t deserve it.”
“Yes, in the beginning, I thought the two of you were a bad idea, but over these past months, I’ve seen a side of Jackson I haven’t witnessed in a long time.
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen this side to him.
He smiles. He’s not as angry. He became a better fighter, believe it or not.
” He peered into my eyes. “You’re good for him.
Don’t give up. He’ll come around. Just give him time. ”
“It’s been almost a week, and he won’t see me.
And as worried as I am about him, I’m also concerned about my job.
What am I supposed to do around here? He’s not training, so I can’t work on him even if he’d let me.
” Fresh tears coated my cheeks. It wasn’t bad enough I had to worry about my relationship, which was already traumatic, I also had to worry about my job. My livelihood.
“He’s been drinking, passing out, then waking up to drink some more. But that ends today. Elton and Lance are in his apartment right now, taking care of it.”
“Why aren’t you there?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face.
“Would you want to deal with him in that state?” His smile disappeared as soon as it flashed across his face. “The three of us agreed that one of us would watch over you until he can take back over. Or until things are resolved with your ex-husband.”
“You don’t have to bother. I’ll be fine.
You should focus on Jackson.” I wanted to mean every word I said, but the truth was, I was terrified Mitch would come after me again.
And maybe the next time, I wouldn’t be so lucky.
I believed he had a court date coming up in the next couple weeks, but otherwise I didn’t know much about what was going on.
All I cared about was that he continued to stay away from me.
“Jackson has enough to deal with right now. We’re not adding you to the list.”
My heart was broken for so many reasons, but anger had also stopped by for a visit. “He can’t care that much about me seeing as how he’s refusing to talk to me.”
“He’s been drunk,” Trevor reiterated. “Don’t pay any attention to him.”
“It’s hard not to take his actions or lack thereof personally.” I parted my lips to say something else, but movement toward the back of the gym pulled my attention away from Trevor. “Speak of the devil,” I mumbled, pointing toward Jackson and Elton, who’d just walked in.
I’d barely registered his presence before he headed straight for the office, where Trevor and I currently were.
His hair was disheveled, and his facial hair was unkempt.
He looked a mess. His left eye was still swollen, he sported a cut lip, and there was a knot on his forehead.
A wrinkled black tee hung haphazardly over a pair of faded gray sweatpants.
His arm remained in a sling, which he'd have to wear for weeks yet.
“I’ll be right back,” Trevor said, closing the door behind him. He walked toward his friend, and they started arguing. I couldn’t hear what they said, but just as Jackson started to push past Trevor and continue my way, he suddenly stopped.
My dad stood near the front doors. I rushed out of the office the second I spotted him. “What are you doing here?” I asked as I strode toward him. “Is everything okay? Is Abby okay?”
“Yes, she’s fine. Is there somewhere we can talk?”
“Sure.” I led my dad back to the office, closing the door behind us. “What’s going on?”
He tilted his head and frowned, his concern for me written all over his face. I was sure I looked a mess. I’d been crying for days.
“You already know, don’t you?” he asked, crossing his arms. “I’m surprised you’re this upset.”
“Know what? What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about Mitch.”
“What about him?” My heart thundered inside my chest as my stomach flipped. I didn’t know what my dad was going to tell me, but based on the pull of his brows and the downturn of his mouth, the news must be bad.
His arms fell to his sides as he stepped closer. “They found him.”
A whoosh of relief left my lungs. After he attacked me, my dad hired a man to follow him, but he hadn’t seen Mitch for the past week, which, of course, frightened me.
“Good. So, we know where he is. I’ll still look over my shoulder, but at least—”
My dad grasped my hands. “Sophie, he’s dead.”
My heart thudded against my rib cage so hard, I thought I was going to have a heart attack right there. I struggled to swallow, and my entire body flushed with heat.
“I don’t understand,” I finally managed to say. “He’s dead? How?”
“He shot himself. After he was arrested, he was put on unpaid leave.”
“That part I know.”
“Well, he’d had other complaints against him in the past, and I guess the department chose not to keep him on.
They fired him, and he lost his pension.
And with his court date coming up… I guess it was too much, and he…
.” His words trailed off as he squeezed my hands.
“Are you okay? I’m sure you have mixed feelings about all this. ”
When I glanced out of the office window, Jackson was standing in the same spot he’d been when my dad arrived. Trevor and Elton stood next to him, all of them watching us.
“I’m okay. I think I’m okay,” I said, clarifying because I had no idea how I felt.
I was relieved I didn’t have to be afraid of him any longer, but the man I’d been married to for years was dead.
I wasn’t sad, per se, but some emotion distressed me, and I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.
“Can I stay with you and Abby for a little while?”
“Of course, sweetheart. You never have to ask. My home is your home. Always.”
“Thanks, Dad.” His embrace was warm and comforting, the best kind of security. “I’ll walk you out.”
“That’s okay.” He pointed toward Jackson. “It looks like someone needs to talk to you.”
“I’ll see you later, then. I love you,” I said, giving him another hug.
“I love you more.”
After he left, I stayed in the office, trying to comprehend the severity of what he’d told me. One confusing thought after another rattled me, but before I lost myself to another, Jackson walked in.
He looked worse close up. His eyes were bloodshot, and he appeared to have lost some weight. Although, I supposed having a liquid breakfast, lunch, and dinner for days will do that to a person. I’d never seen him drunk, but I was looking at the aftermath, and it wasn’t pretty.
“Is everything okay?” he finally asked, his gaze roving over me from head to toe.
“I don’t know how to answer that.” Before I divulged the news about Mitch, I needed to know one very important thing. “Is it over between us?”
His eyes held mine a beat, the silence sending thick tendrils of dread to burrow into my heart.
“Now I’m the one who’s not sure how to answer,” Jackson responded, a swirl of hesitation averting his gaze from mine, but only briefly.
There was a fifty-fifty chance his response would be the one I didn’t want to hear, and even though he didn’t say it yet, it was coming. Why else would he have answered that way?
I didn’t want to cry. I scolded myself for still having tears left to shed, but the way he assessed me with his fractured gaze, I was powerless to hold back the flood. Broken sobs escaped me, and when he stepped toward me, I backed away.
“No.” I held up my hand and shook my head. “If you’re ending it, just do it.”
“I’m not ending it. I just think we need some space. I have to work through some shit before I can—”
“Space,” I repeated, cutting him off. I wasn’t sure why I was upset, as I felt the same, but somehow him saying it hurt more. “I’ll be staying with my dad and Abby for a while.”
“What’s a while?”
“I don’t know yet,” I answered, wiping my tears as they fell.
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too.”
In the span of twenty minutes, I’d learned my ex-husband killed himself and the man I loved dearly needed space from me.
Could my day get any worse?
Jackson stepped to the side so I could leave, but he grabbed my wrist before I could do so.
“Why was your dad here?”
There was no point in dragging out the news. “He stopped by to tell me that Mitch is dead.”
“He’s dead?” Before he said anything else, he raised his hands in the air.
“I didn’t have anything to do with it. Although if I knew I could get away with it, I’d probably have gotten rid of him.
” A glimmer of the protective Jackson I knew shone through even though the topic was less than desirable.
“He killed himself. My dad said he lost his job and his pension. And he was still dealing with being arrested for attacking me. I guess he figured it was the easiest way out.”
He didn’t gloat or celebrate, which I appreciated. “How are you feeling about it?”
“Weird. Relieved. Guilty because I’m relieved. I don’t know. It’s a lot.”
“I can understand that.”
A leaden silence descended as we stood close, and I wondered if we’d ever be able to recapture what we had.