22. Arden
22
ARDEN
I sat in my truck, staring up at the house I’d spent half my life in. The large, rambling farmhouse was still in impeccable condition. Nora wouldn’t have it any other way. But it wasn’t in a quest to be perfect, the way I often felt my mother had been. This was an appreciation for everything she had.
Nora was a caretaker, through and through, from plants to buildings to human beings. She nurtured everything that crossed her path. And I’d been no different.
But something about that nurturing made me twitchy, the need to run fast and far humming beneath my skin. And I knew what fueled it.
Fear.
Because the more I let the nurturing, care, and love in, the more I had to lose.
So, I sat in my truck, staring at the farmhouse: its white siding and massive front porch—boards carrying generation after generation of stories. Countless heart-to-hearts in those rockers or on one of the porch swings. Losses and triumphs. Pain and joy. All of it mixed together in the most beautiful painting I’d ever seen.
Gravel crunched beside my truck, and my hand instantly went to the blade at my belt.
“Can I keep my neck intact this time?” a deep voice asked.
My fingers released the handle of the switchblade. “You know, your stalker tendencies are really showing.”
Linc chuckled, the rasp of it sending a delicious shiver through me as he shifted to look down at me. “I was just innocently taking a call but couldn’t help but wonder if you were going inside or planning to just stare at the house all night.”
Annoyance flitted through me at the challenge of Linc’s words and the fact that he’d seen me as I’d done silent battle with a damn house. “Just needed a minute.”
That had Linc’s demeanor changing instantly. “Are you okay? Did something happen?”
“Breathe, Cowboy,” I said as I glanced up at him, Linc’s concern wrapping around me like an echo of his embrace. It wasn’t quite as good as one of his hugs, but it didn’t suck. “I’m just not the best with big groups.”
Linc studied me for a moment. “So you said. You going to be okay?”
“I’m fine,” I muttered. The problem was that my family knew me best. They saw things I could usually hide from the rest of the world. And there was no denying that the events of late had me rattled. That reporter. The note. But most of all…Linc.
“Pulling on a mask?” he asked. His voice held no judgment; there was simply a desire to understand. I appreciated that.
“More like trying to find inner calm. I like spending time with them, I do. It’s just…”
“It’s a lot coming at you all at once,” Linc suggested.
I nodded, one corner of my mouth kicking up. “It is. But it’s affectionate chaos.”
Linc chuckled. “Been here fifteen minutes, and I can already tell that.” His fingers curled around my door handle. “You ready? ”
There was something about the question and gesture. It was as if Linc would wait here all night with me if I needed him to. But it was also more. It was the fact that I had someone to walk into the farmhouse with and wouldn’t have to deal with the wave of people alone. It helped.
“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I mumbled, pulling my key out of the ignition.
Linc opened the door and held it for me and Brutus. The moment Brutus was out, Linc bent to give him a scratch behind the ears. “You been keeping her in line today?”
I let out a soft scoff. “Tried and failed, most likely.”
Linc’s gaze lifted to me. “Can’t rein her in, too wild for that. But that’s how you were meant to be.”
That twitchy sensation was back, and it wasn’t just because Linc saw me. It was because he saw who I wanted to be. “Tell that to Trace. I’m pretty sure he wants to inject me with one of those tracker things.”
Linc barked out a laugh. “That’s one way to play it.”
I started toward the house, and he fell into step beside me. The gravel drive was littered with my siblings’ vehicles: SUVs, trucks, Fallon’s hatchback. The only one I didn’t see was Trace’s. My gaze slid over them to the ranch lands spread out around us and the beautiful view.
I took a second to remember the peace this place had always given me. The safety. And sent up a silent thanks to whatever greater being had put me here.
Glancing over at Linc, I knew that had tugged him here, too. That feeling of peace. The quiet beauty.
“Where’s Ellie?” I asked as we walked up the front path.
A smile tugged at Linc’s beautiful mouth, surrounded by scruff. “Already inside, making your family her new best friends.”
That tracked. In the handful of minutes I’d spent with Ellie, she seemed like pure sunshine. And I was sure she was already being brought into the fold. But as I looked at Linc, I saw something in those bewitching, green-gold eyes. I saw pain.
My steps faltered. “What’s wrong? ”
Linc shook his head. “Nothing?—”
“Cowboy,” I said, pinning him with a stare. “Don’t insult my intelligence.”
Linc scrubbed a hand over his face. “She’s not happy.”
A lead weight settled in my stomach. “What do you mean?”
“She’s living for everyone’s happiness but hers. Her fiancé’s. Our dad’s. Mine. I’m worried she’s caging herself in a world that will bring her a lifetime of living for others.”
I could hear the anxiety and pain swirling in Linc’s words—the concern for his sister. That care made a home in my chest, digging in deep. “You’re worried she’s going to put herself in the same position your mom was in.”
It was a guess, but when Linc’s head lifted, his hazel gaze had gone stormy, and I knew I was right. The storm clouds swirled in Linc’s eyes in a mixture of agony and fear. “I don’t want her to live in a prison of her own making. She deserves so much better than that. She’s the most giving and kind person I’ve ever known. And I don’t want them to change her. Or worse, make her fade away.”
I moved into Linc’s space then, sliding my fingers through his and holding tight. “I’ve only been in your sister’s presence for about twenty minutes, but I can tell she’s a fighter. She’s not about to let anyone steal that light. But you need to give her the freedom to figure it out on her own. All you can do is be there when she needs you.”
Linc’s hold on my hand tightened as if I were his lifeline. “I know. I just…it’s so fucking hard. And it brings up ghosts.”
I moved again, tugging my hand free so I could wrap my arms around his waist. I wanted to give Linc a little of what he’d given me when I got that nasty note. I wanted to give him the feeling of safety. Of not being alone. I might not be the best at finding the right words, but I could give him this.
Linc’s arms wound around me as he pulled me tighter against his chest. I breathed deeply as he held on. “Cherries,” he muttered.
“Cherries?”
“You smell like cherries and a touch of jasmine. Best damn scent I’ve ever smelled. You could bottle it and make millions. ”
I tipped my head back so I could look up at Linc. “The billionaire would be looking at business opportunities, even now.”
One side of his mouth kicked up in a crooked grin. “Never going to ignore an opportunity when it’s presented.” His hand lifted and brushed some hair out of my face. “Thank you.”
Linc’s hand stilled, his fingers tangled in my hair as his thumb grazed the side of my face. The rough pad of it sent shivers cascading through me. My gaze locked on his, and I felt my whole body lean in, craving more. As my lips parted, I swore I could taste him on my tongue.
Just one tiny move and his mouth would be on mine. The slightest lean in, and I would know if Linc tasted as good as I imagined. One moment, and?—
“Well, what do we have here? My girl finally gettin’ herself some?”