23. Arden
23
ARDEN
My face flamed with heat as Lolli’s voice cut through the early evening air, but Linc made no move to let me go. I tugged myself out of his arms, instantly missing the warmth that was only his—a feeling more grounded and real than anything I’d ever felt before. And that scared the hell out of me.
“Now, don’t you two stop on my account,” Lolli said, a grin spreading across her face. “Can I recommend the barn for a little horizontal tango? The hayloft is surprisingly comfortable.”
“Lolli,” I hissed.
“What?” she asked innocently, throwing up her hands and making the bracelets around her wrists jangle. She wore a hilariously adorable outfit: a brightly colored floral skirt paired with bedazzled sandals with little mushrooms on them. They complemented her T-shirt perfectly. The top had an array of rainbow mushrooms and read M.M.I.L.F. in big, blocky letters, while smaller script spelled out the acronym. Magic Mushroom I Like to Forage.
“You know what,” I chastised. “Did Trace lose his mind at your shirt? ”
Lolli’s lips twitched. “My stick-in-the-mud grandson was not a fan, but I just reminded him that psychedelic mushrooms are legal in Oregon now. He needs to open his mind.”
Linc chuckled. “You growing your own?”
Lolli beamed at him. “Interest without judgment. I knew I liked you.”
“I try,” Linc said, grinning at her.
“No mushrooms for me, but I do have twelve different strains of marijuana. I could set up a taste test for you?—”
“Lolli,” I cut her off, warning in my tone. “Let’s go inside.”
She sent a scowl in my direction. “I didn’t think you’d be the one to ruin my fun.” But she hauled open the door and headed into the house.
Linc dipped his head to whisper in my ear as we climbed the steps. “Buzzkill.”
I choked on a laugh but smacked his stomach with the back of my hand. “You wouldn’t be saying that if you accidentally got dosed. Happened to Rhodes in college, thanks to Lolli’s pot brownies. She ended up rolling around in a field of flowers and declaring she was meant to be a daisy, not a girl.”
Linc’s laughter was full-out this time, the kind I wanted to grab hold of and never let go. “I’ll keep that in mind. No brownies from Lolli.”
“Smart choice.”
As we headed inside, Brutus trotting along beside us, the sound of beautiful chaos rose. Conversations, and the shrieks of Keely’s laughter. As we stepped into the living room, all eyes were pinned on us. I hated the attention, but gritted my teeth, knowing it would pass.
A hand found the small of my back, strong and steady. The heat from Linc’s palm bled into me, letting me know he wasn’t going anywhere. And, God, I wanted to sink into that reassurance and let someone be strong for me for once.
“Auntie Arden,” Keely squealed, making a beeline for me. When she was a few steps away, she launched herself .
I caught her with an oomph and spun her in a circle. “Did you grow on me?”
She giggled. “I don’t think so. But Dad only measures me on my birthdays so we can put the mark on the wall.”
God, Trace was a good dad.
“I bet there’ll be a big jump this year.”
Her dark brown pigtails with big bows on the ends bobbed in a nod. “I’ll be able to go on so many more rides at the fair.” She glanced up at Linc curiously. “Are you my Auntie Arden’s boy toy?”
Kye let out a strangled sound and then started coughing as he straightened on the couch. Fallon leaned over and started patting his back. “Careful, wouldn’t want you to choke to death.”
Shep sent Lolli an amused look from where he and his girlfriend, Thea, sat curled in a massive, overstuffed chair. “You know Trace will kill you if she starts calling kids boy toys in the first grade.”
Lolli shrugged. “It’s better than bleep buddy.”
Kye started coughing all over again.
Rhodes grinned at Lolli. “You’re going to off Kye if you’re not careful.”
She frowned at her grandson. “Never expected you to have such a delicate disposition.”
Keely’s gaze pinballed around the room. “What’s a bleep buddy?”
“Oh, Jesus,” Shep muttered. “Someone tell Trace I had nothing to do with this.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “It’s nothing, Keels. Now, tell me. Who did these beautiful braids for you?”
Trace had worked hard to master simple braids and a couple of other hairstyles, but nothing he did was this fancy. These were intricate. Something I had no idea how to do either. But Keely beamed up at me and cast her arm wide, pointing to the kitchen. “My new bestie, Ellie.”
Linc’s sister stood in the kitchen next to Nora, where it appeared she was chopping vegetables. She waved. “That’s me, bestie extraordinaire.” She gave Keely a wink. “Never pass up an excuse to make a girl feel like the queen she is.”
Keely giggled, then wiggled to be let down, making a beeline for her new friend. Something about it made my heart ache. My niece was the sweetest kid known to man and deserved someone who would give her those over-the-top braids whenever she wanted.
“So,” Kye said, kicking his scarred motorcycle boots up on the coffee table and glancing at me. “Try to kill Linc lately?”
All my siblings burst into laughter, but a concerned Nora crossed the space, looking between us. “Kill Linc?”
Heat hit my cheeks, but it was Linc who stepped in. “Just a little innocent mishap. I hardly bled at all.”
“Bled?” Nora gaped, her eyes going wide.
Rhodes just grinned from the arm of the couch as Anson gazed up at her adoringly. “I gotta admit, I feel safer having Arden around, even if she is a little violent.”
“Says the woman who threatens to de-ball anyone who even sends a scowl in the general direction of someone she loves,” Anson said, amusement lacing his words.
She stuck out her tongue at him. “I only threaten castration to those who really deserve it.”
Anson shook his head. “I really am going to have to build you a murder shed, aren’t I?”
She leaned over, giving him a quick kiss. “You might.”
Lolli frowned at the two of them. “Now, why would you want to get rid of a perfectly good set of balls?”
“Lolli!” a chorus of voices shouted.
Nora covered her face. “I’m so sorry, Linc, Ellie. I’d like to tell you she isn’t normally like this, but it would be a complete lie.”
“I love it,” Ellie called from the kitchen. “Lolli’s my girl.”
“Danged straight,” Lolli called back. “You want to hit up the cowboy bar with me later?”
Ellie laughed. “I don’t think I could keep up with you.”
“But you’d have fun trying,” Lolli singsonged and then looked at Linc. “You know, I think you’d look pretty good in a pair of Wranglers and a cowboy hat. What do you say?”
Linc looked slightly terrified at the prospect of Lolli dressing him up and taking him out. I patted his chest. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
He glanced down, amusement dancing in his hazel eyes. “I do feel safer knowing you’ve got that switchblade.”
“Oh, that won’t save her,” Lolli called back. “I’ve been getting Kye to teach me on the side.”
Lolli took up an elaborate fighting stance that didn’t look like any martial art I’d ever seen while calling out some sort of battle cry.
Kye dropped his face into his hands. “Please don’t tell anyone I’m your trainer.”
“Rude,” Lolli huffed, then eyed Linc again. “Okay, you’re not ready for the cowboy bar. How about a little one-on-one sparring?” She waggled her eyebrows.
Linc grabbed my shoulders and moved me so my body was in front of his. “You said you’d protect me, right?”
A laugh bubbled out of me, light and free. “I don’t know now. Pretty sure Lolli could kick my ass.”
Movement caught my attention, and I looked over to see Nora with her hand hovering over her mouth, her eyes misty.
My stomach sank. “Are you okay?”
She shook her head, waving a hand in front of her face. “I’m fine,” she croaked. “It’s just—I haven’t heard you laugh like that in a long time.”
My insides twisted as guilt dug in. I’d worried her, the woman who’d given me everything. I hated myself a little for that.
Nora’s hand lifted to my cheek. “I’m happy. Love seeing you like this.”
I swallowed, then nodded quickly.
“Lincoln,” Lolli called, breaking the moment and saving me from an overload of emotion the way she often did. “I want to make you a welcome-to-Sparrow-Falls gift. What do you say?”
Linc eyed her warily. “As long as it’s not special brownies, I’m in. ”
“I want special brownies!” Keely yelled from the kitchen.
Nora pinched the bridge of her nose. “Trace is never going to leave her with me again.”
“Where is he?” I asked.
“He got a callout. Break-in at the clinic. I think they were looking for pain medication.”
I winced. Dr. Avery would not be pleased about that.
“Excuse me,” Lolli cut in. “Lincoln and I have artistic vision to discuss. I specialize in diamond art.”
A series of groans lit the air from my siblings, except for Rhodes, who looked positively giddy. “Don’t let these cynics get you down. You know I love my dick flower.”
“Yeah, you love it so much it hangs over our mantel,” Anson muttered.
Linc coughed, trying to clear his throat. “I’m sorry, did they say dick flower ?”
Thea grinned from next to Shep. “They did. I got a penis gourd painting.”
“Don’t forget Sutton’s phallic pile of pastries,” Fallon added.
“I think this scares me more than one-on-one sparring with her,” Linc said, lowering his voice.
Kye leaned forward, cupping his mouth in a stage whisper. “It should.”
“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Lolli snapped. “So, Lincoln. What speaks to you more? A fairy throuple vibe, or perhaps I could do something interesting with hockey pucks…”
“Don’t forget the elves doing it on horseback option,” Kye offered.
“What’s a throuple?” Keely asked in her most innocent voice.
Everyone froze, silence blanketing us. And then the room erupted into laughter.
Linc dropped his head to my shoulder, covering his laughter with my body. “I gotta tell you, Vicious. I love your family.”
I did, too. But more than that, I felt like I belonged for the first time in a while. Somehow, Linc made me feel that way.
I stood at the fence, waiting as my favorite mare made her way over. Sunny was just what her name suggested, a ray of sun in animal form. She’d been born on the ranch not long after I arrived. She’d help you round up cattle or take you on the gentlest trail ride, whatever you wanted, as long as you asked nicely. And she was the one who’d taught me about horses.
Sunny moved toward me slowly, letting out a sound I was sure meant: Where the heck have you been? The moment she was within reach, I stretched out to stroke her face. “I’m sorry, girl. I’ll make it a point to stop by more often.”
I bent down and pressed my face to hers, letting our connection bleed into me. Even if tonight had gone better than I ever could’ve hoped, it was still a lot for me. I needed these moments of quiet to recenter. Calm.
And the horses always gave me that. Animals, in general, helped, but horses most of all. They had a wisdom you couldn’t find in any other creature. An emotional astuteness that made you feel like they could see right into your soul.
“She loves you.”
I turned at the sound of Ellie’s voice, my mouth curving. “We’ve known each other since she was born.”
Ellie moved to the fence line with the same grace she’d had when she arrived at Cope’s. She wore a sundress with elaborate stitching, half a dozen gold necklaces around her neck, and delicate gold sandals. But her hair was tied into a messy bun atop her head, and I saw a smudge of dirt on her shoulder from the after-dinner game of hide-and-seek Keely had talked her into.
Ellie was artful beauty and I-don’t-give-a-damn authenticity. It was a mixture completely unique to her, and I admired the hell out of it.
She slowly lifted a hand, offering it to Sunny. The mare sniffed one, twice, and then leaned into Ellie’s touch. Ellie stroked the horse’s face, reading each reaction to see what the creature liked and didn’t.
“You’re good with them. Some people come on too strong. But you wait for them to come to you.”
Ellie’s mouth curved slightly. “Maybe I was a cowgirl in another life.”
I studied her for a moment. “Why can’t you be one in this life?”
Ellie went quiet as if some battle was playing out inside her. “Do you ever feel like your life has been laid out in front of you, and there are no moves left to play?”
My muscles stiffened, tightening around every bone in my body. “There are always moves left to play.”
Ellie kept her gaze locked on Sunny, continuing to stroke. “Not for me, there’s not.”
The grief of that hit me square in the chest, and I could see what Linc was terrified of now. He worried this bright light would be dimmed—or worse, snuffed out entirely. “If you think there are no moves left, then topple the damn board. Start fresh.”
Ellie’s eyes lifted, her gaze finally meeting mine, a sad smile lining her lips. “Just that easy, huh?”
“Just that easy.”
She shifted and glanced up at the farmhouse. “It’s nice that you have this. Linc and me, our family, it was never even close to this.”
That twisting sensation intensified. “Sometimes, having the hard, painful, and the lack makes us appreciate when we find the good. It allows us to value it. To hold on and never let go.”
Ellie’s eyes misted. “I’m glad you found that.”
I reached out and squeezed her hand. “You’ll find it, too. You just have to step into the darkness.”
Her throat worked as she swallowed. “I don’t know if I’m brave enough for that. ”
“Maybe not today. But one day, you will be. You just need to keep trying until you’re ready.”
Ellie nodded, then looked out at all the horses. “One day.”
I glanced back up at the house, and that’s when I saw him standing in the shadows of the darkened evening, watching. Worry and pain swirled in those hypnotic eyes. And I knew Linc was battling those demons tonight.