25. Arden
25
ARDEN
Angry voices screamed from the speakers, so loud I could hear them above my blowtorch. But more than that, I could feel them. And I needed that. It was as if the music and art were outlets for feelings I wasn’t ready to process.
Feelings that were springing to life because of Linc.
And I was pissed as all hell about it. But I still wanted more. And that craving scared the crap out of me. So, I’d done what I did best. I avoided.
I took Whiskey and Stardust for long rides, locked myself in my studio, and helped Denver prep for the auction and show. If I saw Linc anywhere in my vicinity, I went the other way.
I was a chicken. And I knew it. All because of one single kiss.
Switching off the blowtorch, I stepped back and lifted my mask, studying the piece. Something about using scrap metal as both canvas and paint spoke to me, connected on a primal level. Because in many ways, entering the system had felt like I was carelessly tossed-away trash. Until the Colsons took me in and showed me what I could truly be .
The same could be said for the woman currently being cast out of the rubble. I could see the strains of the past few weeks in her. I could see notes of Ellie, Linc, and me. She was a blend of all of it.
Her head tipped back in an open-mouthed scream as a hand stretched up, reaching toward the light, trying to break free. But chains and locks held her feet, keeping her imprisoned. It wasn’t a piece I could picture sitting in anyone’s foyer. It was anything but peaceful.
It was haunting. Vicious. Real.
Brutus leaned against my leg, and my hand dropped to scratch his head. I set the blowtorch down and reached for my phone, switching off the music. My ears rang from the echoes of the angry melodies, and I winced at the countless unread texts on the screen.
I tapped on our sibling group chat, noticing it had a new name today. Look What the Stork Dragged In. I snorted as I scanned the messages.
Cope
Has anyone checked to make sure Linc hasn’t burned down my house?
Fallon
I heard he did some redecorating. Glitter pink walls all the way.
She dropped a glitter explosion GIF.
Trace
Don’t talk about glitter. I’m still scarred from the glitter bomb you detonated in my truck.
Fallon
Sorry, broski. But honestly, ancient history, right?
Trace
Not when I’m reminded of it every time Keely wants to do an art project.
Kye
Pretty sure I saw pink glitter in your hair when we sparred this morning.
Rhodes
I think pink glitter could be a good look for you, Trace.
Shep
Pretty sure he’s got pink glitter polish on his toes right now.
Trace
I told you that in confidence. Remember this when my deputies write you that next speeding ticket.
Shep
It’s only Cope who has to worry about speeding. Maybe Arden. I play by the rules.
Cope
Hey, don’t throw me under the bus. I’m reformed. Precious cargo and all.
Cope sent a photo of Luca in a Seattle Sparks jersey, holding a puck signed by a couple of players.
Rhodes
Watch your back, Copey. Luca’s coming for your spot on the team.
A mixture of feelings swirled inside me, each one battling for supremacy. Happiness for Cope and what he’d found. Longing for it for myself. And a hollowness, knowing it would never be mine.
Cope
He’s got what it takes. Hey, Arden. Proof of life, please.
I shook off the haze of emotions, doing my best to sock them away until I could bleed them into my art again. I sent a quick selfie of me sticking out my tongue, mask still flipped up.
Me
Some of us work for a living. We can’t be attached to our phones 24/7.
Kye
Burn, A. That wasn’t very nice.
Me
Says the guy who put a massive fake spider in Shep’s gym bag the other week.
Kye
He ratted me out about missing family dinner to hit the bar with the guys.
Shep
I didn’t know you told Mom you were working. If you’re going to lie to one, lie to all.
Kye
At least I didn’t miss last week. Lolli hitting on Linc is going down as a favorite family moment.
Rhodes
What do you think she’s diamond painting him right now?
Fallon
I got a little peek the other day, and it might be her best work yet.
Kye
I hope it’s elves fucking again. Always a classic.
Cope
Jesus. I can’t believe he’s still there after all of this.
Something about that text had pressure mounting in my chest. Linc’s time here was temporary. He’d get the house going and then head back to Seattle, only coming here on holidays or the odd weekend. I hated the idea that I wouldn’t be running into him at Haven, around the property, or in town. I’d been doing nothing but avoiding him for the past week, but I couldn’t stand the thought of him going.
Cope
How’s he seem, Arden? I know Ellie came to visit.
This felt like a test. Did he know I’d kissed his best friend? That I was still dreaming of the taste of bourbon on his lips and the scent of cedar swirling around him?
Me
He’s fine.
Cope
Please, stop. Too much text to read. I’ll never get through it all.
I sent him a middle finger emoji before anything else.
Me
I haven’t seen him much lately. But your house is still standing.
All of that was true. But it still felt like a giant lie.
Fallon
Surprising you haven’t seen him. You two seemed pretty tight at dinner last week.
Rhodes
Agreed. Lolli might’ve slipped and said she saw you two more than a little…close.
Texts came through in rapid-fire succession.
Cope
What does she mean, close?
Shep
Is he hitting on you?
Trace
I can get you a restraining order.
Kye
Get yourself some, Little Killer !
The fact that I knew Trace was only half-kidding had me groaning and my fingers flying across the screen.
Me
Retract all claws and weapons please. My virtue is safe. You know Lolli sees sex everywhere.
Shep
Even in gourds. I’m reminded every time I walk into the greenhouse and see that damned diamond painting.
That had me stifling a giggle. Poor, by-the-book Shep having a penis gourd painting in his and Thea’s greenhouse brought me more joy than it should’ve.
Cope
Just tell me if you need me to have a word.
Me
Perfectly capable of speaking for myself.
Kye
And wielding knives.
True enough.
Glancing at the time in the upper lefthand corner of my phone, I cursed. I was going to be late if I didn’t move. Locking the device, I shoved it into the pocket of my shorts and quickly put away my supplies.
“Want to go to town?” I asked Brutus.
His tail thumped enthusiastically.
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. Yanking it open, I came up short at the massive man filling the space, hand raised to knock. Linc’s green-gold eyes stared down at me, a wariness there that had my stomach churning.
“Hey,” I greeted lamely.
He didn’t waste time or mince words. “You’re avoiding me.”
I stepped out onto the front stoop, trying to avoid Linc’s broad body. “Just been busy.”
“Bullshit.”
I winced. If I’d called bullshit on him, it was only fair that he call it on me. I licked my lips; they suddenly felt like they were as dry as a desert. “I’m on a new project. Got the show. Things at The Collective. Family stuff.”
Linc just stared down at me, but then a gentleness slid into his expression, one that slayed me in the worst way. Because even though I’d been avoiding him, it was as if he understood. “Arden. Why are you avoiding me?”
The use of my name was worse. The way his tongue curled around the syllables. How he used my actual name instead of some silly nickname. The vulnerable honesty of the question.
“I’m scared.” The two words were out before I could stop them—accidental vulnerability.
Linc’s gaze only softened further; the deep green swirling with lighter flecks caught in the sunlight. “Talk to me.”
My mouth went dry, words lodging in my throat. I didn’t know how to explain. But I’d try. He deserved that. “I’m not good at this stuff. Emotions. Relationships. I can’t even tell my family I love them without all but having a panic attack.”
He was quiet for a moment, seemingly taking that in. Then he shifted and moved closer, his large form towering over me. But his hand moved slowly, giving me every chance to back away or stop him.
But I didn’t.
Linc’s thumb skated along my jawline until his fingers tangled in my hair. “I know a little something about that. The urge to lock everyone out because you know what it’s like to lose the people you love most.”
“But you don’t. I’ve seen you. It’s as easy as breathing for you. With Ellie. With Cope.”
“It’s a choice,” he said, fingers tightening in my hair. “It doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare the shit out of me at times. You saw me the other night. If I’d shut Ellie out, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much to worry about her.”
Everything twisted inside me, knotting and tangling because I knew he was right. My eyes burned. “I keep messing it up.”
Linc’s thumb stroked across my cheek. “You’re doing just fine.”
I battled the tears that wanted to fall, but I knew if they started, they’d never stop. “I hurt you. And you’re the last person I want to do that to. Sometimes, it feels like all I do is bring hurt and pain into people’s lives. Worry.”
“Arden,” he whispered. “I know my worth. I can take it if you have a little freakout. I’m still gonna be here. Waiting for us to fix it. And that’s what we’re doing. It’s the only thing we can ask for. Perfection is impossible. Mending broken pieces isn’t.”
My fingers found a thread on my cutoff shorts, and I absently wrapped it tightly around one, the bite of discomfort helping me hold back the tears.
“You bring so much more than hurt, pain, worry.” Linc reached out, gently unwinding the string from my finger. “You bring insight, understanding, kindness, and so much fire. Don’t sell yourself short. It pisses me off.”
I let out a choked laugh. “Sorry.”
“You should be,” Linc said, amusement coating his words.
He tipped my head back. “You are nothing less than miraculous, okay?”
I swallowed. “I?—”
But my words were cut off as if Linc knew what I was about to say and wasn’t about to let it reach the air. Instead, he stole them, swallowing them whole as he took my mouth. The kiss was both gentle and powerful, comfort and fire. A potent and surprising mix that was all Linc.
His tongue slid against mine, stroking and teasing. I leaned into it, pressing my body to his, needing the contact, the strength. I moaned into his mouth as he took.
Linc’s hand moved under my ass. I ground myself into him when he lifted me, feeling him harden against me and wanting more. Wanting it all.
Brutus let out two sharp barks, and I tore my mouth from Linc’s, glancing down at my pup.
“That dog,” Linc ground out, still holding me to him. “He’s lucky I like him because he’s a fucking cockblock.”
I burst out laughing, burying my face in Linc’s neck .
“Love that sound. Your laughter.”
I pulled back, peering into those hypnotizing eyes. “Thanks for letting me fuck up.”
“Thanks for letting me call you on it,” he said with a grin.
“Do you want to do something with me?” I asked, a bit of hesitancy bleeding into my voice.
“Vicious, I want to do a lot of things with you.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing. “Sorry to disappoint, Cowboy, but we won’t be naked for this particular activity.”
“I can get creative with our clothes on,” Linc challenged.
My nipples tightened into sharp, almost painful peaks. “You’re not helping me right now.”
“And you think you’re helping me? The fact that I can feel your heat bleeding into me, practically burning me alive, knowing how close I am to sinking into you, how close I am to knowing exactly what you feel like, taste like…” He groaned.
A shiver racked me. “Linc.”
“Fuck,” he muttered, setting me down. “I need some distance from you. You’re more addictive than cocaine.”
My lips twitched. “Sorry?”
“You should be.” Linc sighed. “All right, where are we going…not naked?”
I grinned up at him. “It’s a surprise. But I think you’ll like it.”