48. Arden
48
ARDEN
My truck bumped along the gravel road that led to Colson Ranch, but Linc was behind Wanda’s wheel now. I sat in the center seat, and Brutus was at the window. I’d been a little too shaky to drive and needed to be close to Linc. Had to remember that he was with me.
His fingers slid through mine like he could read my thoughts, and he twisted his head to kiss my temple. “Talked to Ellie. Told her everything.”
I jerked back. “You did?”
Linc nodded, a hint of worry passing over his features.
“How’d she take it?” My stomach twisted for Linc’s sister, for the rug I knew had just been pulled out from under her.
Linc stared hard out the windshield. “Said I’ve been shielding her for too long. And that it wasn’t helping anything.”
I pressed my lips together. Her words were so similar to the ones I’d given him.
He squeezed my hand. “Told her she sounded like someone else I know. ”
I leaned into Linc, trying to give him a little of the strength he’d given me. “It’s not wrong to want to shield the people you care about. It shows how much they mean to you. You just have to pause and decide whether that shielding is actually the best thing for them. Sometimes, the best thing is just to let them know you’re with them. Not in front of them.”
Linc glanced down at me for barely a moment, but there was a lifetime in that smattering of seconds. And so much love. “With you.”
I squeezed his hand hard. “I’m always stronger when you’re at my side.”
And wasn’t that partnership at its core? Making each other better, stronger…more ourselves.
“I am, too,” he said, pulling me tighter against him. “Even when you steal my last french fry.”
My lips twitched as I remembered our meal last night. “You were too slow. And you’re the one who gave me a taste for fries dipped in milkshakes. So, really, it’s your fault.”
Linc grinned at the road, shaking his head. “Adding insult to injury.”
I leaned in, my lips ghosting over his ear. “How can you complain when you ate the rest of that milkshake off me?”
Linc cursed, and his grin shifted into a scowl as he pulled up in front of the ranch house. “Are you seriously trying to make me hard before seeing your mom? You’re evil.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “The absolute worst. But you love me.”
He turned and took my face in his hands, pulling it to his. “I do.” And then he kissed me. It was one I’d never experienced before because it wasn’t just one or two things. It was everything . Heat and comfort. Attraction and strength. Gratitude and promise. But most of all, it was love. The emotion that encompassed so much.
It wasn’t a storybook kind of love. It was a messy one, imperfect with jagged edges, just like my statue. Because that love had been through a war. But it was stronger because it had come out the other side .
Linc pulled back, searching my eyes. “Ready?”
I swallowed hard. “Ready.”
He waited for a moment as if making sure and then opened his door. I reached over Brutus to open mine, and he instantly jumped out. By the time I slid out, Linc was there, waiting. Just like always.
He pressed a kiss to my head. “I’ll throw a ball for Brutus.”
It was his way of giving me space and time. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“I’ll be here whenever you need me.”
And I knew he would. It was a gift—one that still had a flicker of fear taking root. But it was a fear I knew I’d defeat. I wouldn’t give it the reins again.
Glancing at my watch, I knew I was more likely to find Nora outside than in. So, I started toward the barn. But a flicker of movement caught my attention.
The vegetable garden. I should’ve known I’d find her there. It took over a chunk of her days from April through September. From prepping the soil to tending the seedlings to harvesting and keeping the plants healthy, Nora did whatever it took to care for them.
Just like she had for all of us.
The lump in my throat twisted, and my eyes stung as I watched her move through the space. She’d memorized where each plant was and what they might need but didn’t let that stop her from taking her time to truly study them. Her hands were gentle and strong all at once, just like the woman herself.
Nora looked up, her green eyes flaring in surprise from under her wide-brimmed hat. “Arden.” There was a flash of panic. “You didn’t come over by yourself, did you? That’s not safe. I?—”
I lifted my hands. “Linc drove me. And Beth—sorry, Deputy Hansen—followed. I’m being careful.”
The tension in Nora’s shoulders eased. “Good. That’s good.” A smile teased her lips. “I know it’s not easy for you to feel hemmed in.”
I chuckled. “Not my favorite to be bound by rules and regulations.”
“Never was,” Nora said wistfully. “But since you’re here, why don’t you put those hands to good use? I’ve got more than a few weeds sprouting up.”
I doubted it, given how meticulous Nora was with her garden. But she was giving me a task, something to give me time to say whatever I needed without being rushed. Just like when I was twelve, and she took me to the barn to groom Sunny. She never prodded me with questions, just gave me a chance to talk when I needed it.
Crossing to the garden, I lowered myself to the grass rimming the bed. “You know I’ve never had a green thumb. Not like Rho or Fallon.”
“Oh, hush. You do just fine. You’ve kept those flowering succulents alive on your back patio for years now.”
“Nora, I asked you to recommend plants I could not kill even if I tried. I don’t think that’s exactly a victory.”
She grinned and lowered herself to a spot next to me—but not too close. “Hey, a win is a win. Don’t sell yourself short.”
Always pumping us up for every tiny success. God, I was lucky to have her. And I hadn’t let her know what I’d felt: that she’d always given that gift to me.
A burn lit along my sternum, and I didn’t shove it down this time. I let it come, let it mark me, and then, I let it pass. All the while, my fingers plucked minuscule shoots from the dirt that shouldn’t have been there, piling them in a bucket Nora had placed behind us.
I wasn’t sure how long it took before I was ready or how many weeds I’d plucked from the earth before the words made their way up my throat. “I love you, Nora.”
The words were barely audible, but Nora froze next to me, then slowly turned. The expression on her face was the softest I’d ever seen. “Oh, baby, I know.”
Tears gathered in my eyes. “But I didn’t tell you.”
“Didn’t need the words. You gave me the actions. Showed me time after time.”
“I was scared,” I whispered.
Nora slid over and took my hand, covering it with hers, top and bottom. “I bet.”
“I’m sorry. ”
“Don’t you dare. Everyone expresses their love differently. Doesn’t make it more or less; it just makes it unique to them.”
My gaze swept over Nora’s face, the lines there looking a little deeper. “You always know how each of us needs to be loved, supported, and cared for. You’re the greatest gift for each and every one of us.”
Nora’s eyes glistened. “You make me cry, and we’re going to have words.”
“Well, apparently, I cry all the freaking time now, so you’ll be in good company.”
Nora’s head tipped back, and she laughed full-out. Pulling me into a hug, she held on. “Love you, Arden. Exactly as you are. But also love that Linc’s inspiring you to share a little more of yourself with all of us. Because you , my girl, are a gift, too.”
I held on to Nora. “He’s making me brave. Making me realize that this messy life is worth fighting for.”
She pulled back but grasped my face in her hands. “It is. And you and your siblings show me that every single day.”
“Thank you for giving me a safe place to land. For loving me just as I am.”
“Arden,” Nora croaked.
“I know it’s late, but do you think—?” I paused, trying not to stumble over the words. “Could I call you Mom? I think my other mom…she’d love to share the name with the person who carried me through the dark.”
Tears slid down Nora’s cheeks. “I’d be honored to share any name with the woman who gave everything to save this most precious girl.”
She threw her arms around me and held tight. “Love you more than the stars in the sky.”
“I love you, too.” We stayed like that for a long moment before letting go. When we finally did, I felt eyes on me. Not ones that made me twitchy but ones that gave me constant reassurance at the knowledge he was with me. And I was stronger for it .
Linc gave me bravery, boldness. A willingness to step into fear and find what lay beyond.
As I pushed to my feet, he crossed to me, Brutus at his side. It only took a handful of seconds for his arm to come around me and his lips to graze my temple. “Good?” he asked in that rough tenor.
“Better than good. Beautiful,” I whispered.
Nora rose, her eyes still watery. “You’ve been good for my girl, and I’ll love you forever for that. But if you fuck up, I’ll be coming for you,” she said, pointing her shears in his direction.
My eyes bugged out. “Mom, did you just say the F-word?”
She burst out laughing. “Sometimes, it’s the only one that will do the trick.”
“I’m with you there,” Linc said, amusement coating his words.
“What’s all the ruckus down there?” Lolli called from the back deck. “You’re interrupting my Zen diamond zone.”
I could only imagine what she was creating now. But I grinned up at her. “Mom said the F-word.”
Lolli’s jaw dropped. “Nora Leanne Colson, did you get into my stash?”
We all burst out laughing at that.