Chapter Twelve
Kieran
Luca Mancini made his first move.
“Look,” Dasher said. The guy had thinned, turned pricklier, and was always in pain. I didn’t trust Dasher with much, but we both cared about Tomás, so I trusted Dasher with this. Fox sat in the armchair, legs extended, fingers steepled in front of him, eyes on the floor. “I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t think Tomás was a target. But Luca was there specifically for him. He knew where to find him. Something feels off.”
I’d already known through Morgan that Luca had met Tomás, but Morgan hadn’t been part of the conversation between them. Dasher winced as he sat down and rubbed his thigh. “What are you going to do?”
I growled. “I’m going to drag him back here and keep him under watch.”
Dasher chuckled. “That won’t work on Tomás. I suggest a different approach.” He winced again when he got to his feet. Fox gave him a sideways glance, his expression slightly stiff. After the hazing, Dasher had completely cut off Fox. Not that I would’ve cared had Dasher not been Tomás’s best friend. “Be nice to him,” Dasher said, cutting off my thoughts. “It’s really easy.”
Fox snorted.
“I could be nice,” I defended. Though I had no clue how to be nice.
“I know it’s not easy for you possessive dicks to be nice, but I’m not equipped to protect Tomás. And right now, he hates you.”
“What did I do?” I asked, still on the defense.
Dasher shook his head. “Clueless.”
“Why the fuck do you care?” Fox finally asked.
“Because he’s my best friend and that means something to me.” Dasher lifted his blue eyes to me. “So be nice and stop fucking shit up.”
“I could be nice,” I said to Fox who glared at me. “Fuck you. I could be nice. I’m going to be so fucking nice I’m going to make you puke.”
Dasher walked out chuckling with a whispered, “You guys are so clueless.”
I dropped on the chair Dasher vacated and thought about dragging Tomás back to his room, our room, and locking him in there until he saw reason. That would be better than trying to be fucking nice. “I need a locksmith,” I told Fox.
“River is gone.”
The abrupt conversation shift brought me back to reality. I’d heard River leave this morning and the subsequent Wren meltdown.
“Wren is fucked up. There’s something going on with him and it’s not just River leaving. He’s hiding something.”
“Lies between us cause dissention.” I heard myself say without wanting to say it. But it was the truth. Lies could not be tolerated amongst us. Secrets, broken oaths, were all a prelude to self-destruction.
I had said those words. And I had lied about the most fundamental part of me. I leaned forward, unable to even look at my best friend. “I’m gay,” I said.
“And you’re also a moron if you think we give a shit. If you think that changes anything between us.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” The anger in his voice forced me to meet his eyes.
Why the fuck did I feel it hard to breathe? “Maybe I didn’t really know. I was afraid it’d change everything.”
Fox snorted. “Get up.”
I dragged my eyes to his as he got to his feet, poised to fight. “Really?” I got up to meet him because fuck if I was going to let him look down on me. “This is what you—”
He lunged, clamped his arms around me in a bear hug. “You fucking idiot. I love you,” he whispered in my ear.
I just started to feel myself intake some air and hug him back when he shoved me away. The back of my knees hit the sofa and I fell back into it. He turned away before I could see his expression. “Send your dog to keep eyes on Wren,” Fox said, starting down the hallway to his bedroom. “And go get your boyfriend. We’re going to have to start a plan on how we’re going to survive this fucking mess.”
My boyfriend. Yeah, I may have latched onto that a little longer than I should’ve.
I found Morgan first and told him to pack his shit and Tomás’s shit and go to Arcas and to keep tabs on Wren. I told him we’d meet at the house to discuss plans tonight. We were running out of time. Casera would be announcing the games soon. He nodded.
The theatre building had been my first stop but for some fucked up reason it had been overrun by Ashton and his fucking idiot band of idiots. He’d gathered the largest, dumbest jocks to him plus a miniature crazed assassin by the name of Annika. Charity broke away from the group and approached me.
“He’s in the library,” she said still walking away.
I walked with her. “What’s going on?”
“Backroom alliances. We’re all fucked.”
She wasn’t wrong. She turned left to her housing while I continued to the library. The whole school was on edge.
The library had turned into a refuge for angsty students wanting to congregate and act as if the world made sense. When it did not make any type of sense at all.
Tomás sat hunched over the desk, flipping through a thick tome, taking notes, oblivious to everyone around him trying not to stare at him. He still had the bandage wrapped around his hand, concealing my brand underneath. His hair longer, touched his shoulder. The curls untamed made him look so damn young.
Morgan’s words that Tomás wasn’t like us stuck with me. He was too kind. Too na?ve to think that he could escape me.
Be nice.
Be nice.
I had to chant the words as I slowly made my way to the table he occupied alone, ignoring the eyes on me.
The most important people knew how much Tomás meant to me. Tor and Fox. And once I got Tomás back into Arcas, I planned on telling everyone else. He didn’t look up as I approached. Not until I pulled out the chair next to him and sat down.
Those baby browns were lighter, and laser focused on me for a few seconds before he lowered them and popped out an earbud. “What do you want?” he asked in a huskier tone than normal. His voice still hurting him, but damn if it didn’t sound fucking sexy as hell. Considering how we had spent last night, I thought he should’ve been kinder. Maybe I’d used up my allotted kindness from him. He flipped the textbook page.
Be nice.
“Can we talk?”
“We are talking.”
I clenched my teeth. “Can we talk somewhere private ?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Still, his eyes remained on the book. “You don’t know what rumors could spread around about us. You wouldn’t want—”
Niceties over, I pulled the book away from him, forcing him to look at me. “Come with me to talk, or I will drag your ass over my shoulder, and take you somewhere to talk.”
He narrowed his eyes, and I wanted him to test me. I needed him to test me so I could show him I wasn’t fucking kidding. He sighed, plucked his bag off the floor, and started walking to the exit. I left the book on the table but picked up his notebook and followed behind him.
The clouds had broken up and a few rays of sun pushed through. “You have until the time I get home to talk.”
“What is your fucking problem?”
He stopped and spun, anger raging in his beautiful eyes. “You,” he poked my chest. “fucking lied to me.”
“ I lied. You know everything there is to know about me.”
“And Morgan?”
Who the fuck… Then it dawned on me. Morgan. I gave fucking Morgan my brand.
He poked my forehead. “There it is. Right there.” Then he spun away from me and started walking faster.
I should’ve left his ass alone. I should’ve just let him go. He wasn’t my fucking boyfriend. He was a fucking pain in my ass. But I didn’t know any better. And fuck Dasher. I tried to be nice. That shit didn’t work with Tomás.
I followed as he walked. I was pretty sure Tomás wanted to run. But unless he planned on tossing his bookbag, he wouldn’t be able to run from me. We didn’t need this kind of attention. Not here with Luca around. The astute motherfucker would see right through me. I never chased anything that wasn’t a kill.
We made it to the house and because the gods hated me, Morgan was there. Bags on the floor in the foyer. He looked up at Tomás with panic in his eyes.
“Where the fuck are you going?” Tomás asked.
“Arcas,” Morgan said, watching me carefully and stretching the answer.
“Perfect,” Tomás whispered and took off up the stairs.
“Wait at Arcas,” I ordered Morgan who was happy to get the fuck out. I locked the door behind him and followed my prey.
Tomás had dropped his bag outside his bedroom door, and I did the same with the notebook. He stood as far away as he could while still being inside the room, arms crossed in front of him, probably to keep from swinging at me.
“You branded Morgan.”
“Morgan is an acolyte. He wears all of our brands, or did he not show you those.”
Tomás opened and closed his mouth. “Bullshit . ”
Fuck me if Tomás jealous wasn’t giving me a boner. I hadn’t realized this side of him turned me on. But I had to put him in his place. Quick. Because running wasn’t an option for him. And he had to learn. “Are you jealous?”
“Are you fucking him?”
“No.”
“Why did you come back?”
Fuck. Of course Tomás would ask. “I came to keep you safe.”
“How does branding Morgan keep me safe?”
I pressed my lips together. “Morgan knows Jack had something that could ruin the families. He lied during his interrogation, was afraid, and asked for my protection.”
“And you gave it to him, just like that. Out of the kindness of your heart.”
I started toward him. “I can be nice when I have motivation.”
“And what motivation did Morgan give you?”
I stood just inches from Tomás. There was a touch of fear in his eyes that I’d never seen before. I knew he always doubted my feelings for him. I didn’t blame him. Mine were all over the place. But I didn’t know how to fix whatever kept pushing us apart. I narrowed the remaining gap. He didn’t cower, he didn’t flinch. He stood his ground. I could never hurt him physically, though I’d already made trash of his heart. He lowered his hands to his sides. His pupils blown. Lust replaced fear as I crowded his space, my thigh pressed between his legs, digging into his thickening cock.
“You should go,” he breathed.
“Are you sure you want me to leave?”
“This isn’t right.”
“Why can’t this be right?” I cupped his throat and squeezed, feeling his cock like a prod against my thigh. “This feels fucking right to me.”
I felt the subtle shake of his head, warring with himself.
I grazed my lips against his jaw, trailing a path to his throat, inhaling him. My own cock painfully pressed behind my zipper. “Don’t lie to yourself. This is what you want, what you need.”
“You have no idea what I want, what I need.”
“Tell me, then. What is it you want from me?” My body unfurled with desire at the play. My dick hardened, pushed against my pants. The hairs at the back of my neck, my arms, stood on end at the contact. “You have no fucking clue what you want.”
“I want you , asshole. You’re all I ever wanted.”
I searched his face trying to find the lie. I didn’t.
“I love you,” he said.
Those words seemed to hit some sort of stop button in me. I couldn’t even fucking move. “I’m sorry for loving you.” The words he’d said last night after we fucked still fresh in my mind. “You don’t.”
My words were the final slap. He shoved me away hard. “Fuck you.” His voice cracked and I hated the way it made me feel. “You have no clue what it means to want someone despite their faults, despite their lies . You don’t know what it feels like to give a part of your soul to someone who’d still bury you with their own hands. Someone who you should be afraid of but can’t bring yourself to fear. Someone you should hate but just can’t .” He clenched his fists. “You don’t know how it feels to love someone who hurts you every fucking day because he can’t love you back. And the worst part is, you’ll still give him whatever he wants from you.” A fat tear hung onto his thick lashes until he blinked, and it trailed down his face. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”