Chapter Thirteen
Kieran
I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the single tear he didn’t bother to wipe away, the pain and affection in his expression.
Tomás loved me.
Being a killer didn’t mean I didn’t feel. It meant I had to feel everything . I had to learn the nuances of emotion, of expression, of body language. I had to gauge a threat not by their verbal constructs, but what drove their actions and reactions. I couldn’t do that and ignore the depths of human nature, the dark and the light inherent in our species. And the spectrum of emotions that drove behavior. Anger, pain, shame, hatred, desire, lust, want. I learned to read it, to adapt with it in order to survive. It’d always been something outside my own reality. A construct I built, impervious to my own disposition. It’d always been me looking in, making assumptions based on what I saw and knew to be the truth at that narrow point in time. It bordered on precognition. And it kept me alive. Ahead of my enemies. Able to react accordingly.
But Tomás wasn’t a threat. Which left my perusal raw and unfiltered. Which left me aching in a deeper part of myself that I had relegated as unnecessary. And for some fucking reason, that part of me, the empty void I had ignored for the past ten years, woke up with a vengeance. I breathed and it pulsed. I willed myself to back the fuck away, but it clamped it’s hold around my chest and squeezed.
And I knew I could never let Tomás go. He was part of the air I breathed into my lungs. The life I drew into my soul. Tomás was here , willing to give me what I needed.
Him.
I fisted his hoodie and pulled him against me, swallowing his gasp as I ravaged his mouth. Pushing my tongue through his pliant lips, I devoured him. He tasted of forbidden pleasures, and I intended to take it all. His hands found my belt loop and he tore open my pants and shoved his hands inside, pulling my cock free. A contented breath left his lips as he stroked me.
“Kieran, I just…”
I knew what he needed.
Control.
“Take it,” I said, against his mouth. “My cock belongs to you. My ass. My mouth. Just take what you need.”
He let out a little whimper, grazing his tongue against my throat, lavishing my Adam’s apple, before sucking against my skin just under my ear. I groaned.
We were alone. I didn’t have to be quiet.
“Kieran,” Tomás breathed my name.
The overwhelming need to taste him fueled my impulses. I sucked his lower lip while undoing his pants only pulling away when he reached behind himself and pulled up his hoodie. I helped him untangle from the garment and tossed it on the floor. The tattoo of La Santa Muerte inked onto his left pectoral held a powerful story. One of life and death. I ran my fingers over the design. His tanned skin pebbled under my touch and his nipple hardened. “So beautiful,” I said. The ink and the body used as a canvas for the design were so fucking beautiful. I trailed my fingers over his hard nipples as he toed off his shoes. The silent, still moment between us more intimate than the sharing of our bodily desires. I loved the fire in his eyes when we fought, but this, this slow devotion filled the void inside of me that belonged only to him.
I cupped his neck and loved how he always leaned into my touch. A small movement that touched every part of me. I ran my thumb back and forth along his pulse. The life underneath belonged to me only because he gave it to me. For me, that was a monumental realization. While he belonged to me, I belonged to him. At that moment, love seemed like a trivial word. It wasn’t enough to explain my feelings for him.
“Kieran,” he whispered, drawing my eyes to his. They were blown with lust, but so soft and pleading.
“What do you want from me, baby?” I asked, because I’d give him anything.
“Everything,” he responded on a soft exhale.
I pulled the tight jeans completely off his body, leaving him naked, exposed. A feast for me to devour. I ran my hand down his chest, grazing his pebbled nipple, down lower. My fingers sifted through his dark pubic hair, and I pressed my palm along his hard, thick shaft, taking it into a tight grip. He hissed at the contact, his hands digging into my shoulder.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I said and flicked my tongue across his nipple before sucking it into my mouth. He arched his hips into my palm.
“Kieran, please.”
The fucking please would be my undoing. I had to restrain myself from taking what I wanted, which was him whimpering, sobbing, begging for my ass. My ass clenched in anticipation. “What do you need, baby. Tell me.”
He cupped my face, drew my full focus on him. “I want you to fuck me.”
My hand stopped mid stroke. Breathing became more labored at the thought of Tomás completely at my mercy. But it also scared me more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t want to push him. I didn’t want him to drop into the dark headspace he fell into whenever we did something more. I didn’t want him to think of whoever the fuck hurt him while I was inside of him. “Tomás, are you sure?”
He cut off my words with a searing kiss. A brutal kiss. Wet, dirty, and so fucking good. I preferred giving him control over me, letting him do whatever the fuck he needed to me. I knew I could handle it. I wasn’t sure if he could handle me. I’d never … fuck, I’d never been with a man this way. He sucked my tongue as his hands roamed over my chest, slid down my stomach, down my groin into my pants again, squeezed my hard length. I moaned as he touched me where I needed. “Take me to bed, please.”
I wouldn’t make it. I wanted him now.
I dropped on my knees. His cocked bobbed in front of me. Hard and pulsing, his balls heavy. I leaned in and licked a trail up the underside, tracking the thick vein underneath. The salty tang hit my tongue and the scent of musk filled my lungs. All him.
“Fuck my mouth, Tomás.”
“What? I—I don’t know,” he said, unsure, timid.
“Do it, please.” I wanted him to lose whatever was holding him back. I wanted him to just let go. “I can take it.” With that, I swallowed his length to the back of my throat, gagging and drooling. I didn’t fucking care. I bobbed as he thrust into my mouth, matching my pace. His fingers dug into my scalp, pushing me where he wanted me. Breathing became hard, spots dancing behind my eyes, but I didn’t give a fuck. If I passed out here, it’d be so fucking worth it. The moans and nonsense words coming out of his mouth so fucking worth my own demise. I wanted to keep him there. Just at the brink.
“Kieran, Kieran, Kieran, I…”
Every word drove an electric current straight to my own cock. I needed to fucking come. I took my length in hand as Tomás continued to fuck my mouth. I came first. The impact of it drove me back on to my heels just as Tomás came all over my face. And fuck if that didn’t make me want to smother my own jizz all over him.
Realizing what he’d done, he inhaled sharply. “Oh, fuck, Kieran, I’m so sorry.”
Eyes closed, I got to my feet. I felt his trembling fingers on my face, trying to get the jizz away from my eyes but making more of a mess. Then he started to laugh. An all out burst of laughter that echoed off the ceiling and shattered my whole world. I managed to open my eyes just as he ran his finger down my cheek as if picking up a soft serve ice cream and then sucking it into his mouth. “Mmm … I don’t taste that bad.”
Fucker. I slammed my lips against his in a possessive, hard kiss. It seemed the only way we kissed. His moan drove me to press harder. A chaotic mess. “You’re going to pay for that,” I said, grumbling.
“Please, make me.”
Asshole had no clue what he awoke inside of me. What he filled inside of me. Because he was never getting rid of me now.