Chapter Nineteen
Tomás
While everyone else scattered, I followed Charity to River’s room on the third floor. I’d never had a reason to explore this side of the house. Wren’s room stood adjacent to River’s. Seemed right since they were best friends.
Charity agreed to receive the acolyte brand, like Morgan, and River was the resident tattoo artist that would inscribe it into her flesh. His bedroom was fitted like mine except it had an anteroom where he kept his art supplies. There was an ordered chaos in the art room. An explosion of colors and mediums. The room seemed to be an extension of everything he tried to empty from his mind. And he had a lot on his mind. The place was beautiful in its chaos.
“Wow,” I said. It was all I could say.
“Charity, have a seat,” he said, ignoring us looking at his room.
She broke from looking around too and took a seat, resting her pale arm on the arm of the chair. River meticulously lined his tools on a tray. They were all wrapped, clean. He obviously knew what he was doing. Watching him work was mesmerizing. River was almost done when Dasher walked in, and he didn’t seem surprised by the room. Then, he’d probably been here when he got his first brand.
Again. He’d said he wouldn’t get branded again.
“So, who branded you the first time?”
He glared at me. Dasher did the glaring thing now more and more. He lifted his long sleeve to show a burn mark at his wrist. “Fox. I burned it off the day after he hazed us.”
Ouch.
Dasher shoved the sleeve back down. “Now, can we talk about how stupid it is for Kieran to collar me? It should be you. I’m not a fucking invalid.”
“I never said you were.” I shook my head. “What does that even mean?”
“A weak person due to a disability,” River said without looking up.
Dasher opened his mouth closed it, then pointed at River. “That.”
“I never said you were weak. Even if you had use of your legs, I would still be the better runner. If you want to give the collar to Charity, fine, give it to her, but you’ll hinder me from running. Which is the plan, right? Run and hide? Which isn’t really a plan at all. But whatever.”
“And if you’re caught, be prepared to lose a few teeth, fingers, and maybe an eyeball,” Charity added. “And for the record, I’m pretty good at hiding.”
“Then why the brand?” I asked.
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Constance and I have history.”
River lifted a brow. “She won’t touch you.”
I didn’t miss Charity’s relieved breath. “Thank you.”
“But if you betray us, know that I will pull your insides to your outsides while you watch.”
She smiled. “Got it,” she said and winked at him.
He shook his head, probably regretting it.
“And what happened between you and Kieran this time?” Dasher asked. “He looked constipated when River called you both out as a couple.”
River lifted his eyes to Dasher but didn’t say anything.
I shrugged. “Think we probably broke up again. Though I’m not even sure we ever got back together the first time, But … it’s complicated. We’ll work it out.”
“Tomás,” Dasher started. “You know Kieran is leaving after these games are over, right?”
No. I didn’t.
“Maybe you should let Kieran tell Tomás that,” River said, inking Charity’s arm.
“Maybe if you’d been honest with Wren from the start, he wouldn’t have been blindsided by your betrothal and I wouldn’t have had to haul his drunk ass out of Linden’s the other night,” Dasher snapped at River.
“Ouch,” Charity said. “Maybe don’t piss off the guy with a needle in my arm.”
“You’re getting married?” I asked River. “How did this happen?”
“It’s a long story.”
“So,” Dasher went on. “Going back to you and Kieran. You do know Arcadia is for bastards. Heirs don’t attend this place because the rules don’t apply to them. Can you imagine if the legits start coming here? We’d all be dead.”
I dragged my eyes to Charity who was looking at me as if I were a kicked puppy. I hadn’t known. I had thought that he had come back for me and we’d work things out. That after the games, the investigation, we’d try.
“He didn’t tell you, did he?”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. Whatever.” I hated the tightness in my throat. It did matter. It fucking mattered and that was the problem. “Besides,” I added. “I have a plan.” I thought about the collar Luca gave me. Fuck it. I didn’t owe Keiran anything. And if I could use the collar to survive, I’d do it.
Nobody asked about my plan which I found offensive.
“No, you don’t,” Dasher said and pulled up a stool to sit on.
“I do.”
“You’re not a very good liar,” Charity added. “But you’re sweet.” She winked at me.
“I have a plan.” I pulled out the collar from my hoodie pocket.
Dasher yanked it, eyes wide, and looked over the engraving. “You got a Mancini collar, how the fuck…” Dasher gave me the look. The look that said WTF, are you an idiot? I snatched the collar back.
“Luca gave it to me.”
“Are you fucking crazy? That motherfucker is insane!”
Done with the tattoo, Charity got to her feet. I’d only seen a snippet of Morgan’s tattoo. The full piece was an intricate array of symbols including the little dipper. “What does that mean?” I asked.
“It’s a fragment of our sigils. It means she’s an acolyte. She’ll be protected by all of us.”
“It works for me,” Charity said, and yanked the collar from my hand. “Fuck. This is legit.”
I yanked it back.
River got to his feet.
I knew he was going to tell Kieran about it, and I didn’t give a fuck. “It’s my survival card. Anything to survive, right?”
“Does Kieran know?” River asked.
“He will as soon as you tell him.”
“Luca is someone you shouldn’t fuck with, Tomás. Even you should know that.”
“Because I’m an idiot and don’t know shit about what’s going on, is that why?”
River didn’t say anything. Smart man.
I glared at Charity and Dasher, warning them to say something. I shoved the collar back in my pocket. “Luca has yet to lie to me, unlike everyone in this fucking house, so fuck all of you.”
“I think I should check out the weapon’s cache,” Charity said and walked out, River followed.
“He’s going to tell Kieran.”
“I don’t care. I’m tired of his fucking lies.” It hurt too much.
“Are you going to use it?” Dasher asked.
“No. I don’t think so.”
“River is right, Tomás. It’s dangerous. You should be under Kieran’s protection. Not Luca’s.”
“Why? Kieran doesn’t even love me,” I blurted for the first time. Saying it out loud made it real. “We’re just pieces of a puzzle trying to fit to form a picture that doesn’t make sense. It’ll never work.”
Dasher lifted his eyes over my shoulder, before lowering them to my eyes. I already knew who stood behind me.
Dasher pushed off the wall. “I’m heading out. I don’t have to learn to fight for tomorrow.” He squeezed my shoulder. “Just promise me you won’t do anything stupid out there. You’ll run, hide, get to the castle.”
I nodded. “That’s the plan.”
Dasher walked out.
I inhaled and turned to face Kieran at the doorway. The first time I had met Kieran, he’d been pissed. Every moment after that, he’d had this anger simmering just beneath the surface. As if it had been my fault that he had wanted me. As if it had been my fault that he killed Cillian. My fault that his life had been upturned.
But now, the expression he wore was nothing more than a block of ice. Even the light in his eyes had darkened. The muscles on his face revealed nothing. A solid piece of wood. Hollow on the inside because he couldn’t even fill it with feelings.
So why did I feel so fucking guilty for putting that look there? Why did I feel as if it’d been my fault that Luca had literally thrown his collar at me? None of it was my fucking fault!
He walked into the room, perusing the artwork, though I knew he’d already seen them all. He’d changed into tactical gear. Sweat stained some pieces of his shirt. He’d been practicing with the others, and now he was here.
“So, River told you,” I said, because I hated silence. I tracked Kieran inside the room, eyes in front of him, moving away from the door, while I circled closer to the door. I didn’t wait for him to speak. Once I was close to the door, I did what I did best. I ran. Out the door, down the stairs, to the exit.
I had figured that he’d save face and not follow me. I’d been so wrong.