Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Ben
“ S o have you decided yet?”
Jordan’s fiancée Allie elbows me in the side. I am standing around a high-top table with Allie and Jordan during the cocktail hour of Jeremy’s gala. The room teems with athletes, press, and the most wealthy and well-known of the sports world, but Allie only seems interested in nagging me about whether Jeremy and I have decided on the Stonegate offer.
I throw Jordan a glare. “You promised you wouldn’t tell her.”
“I’m sorry! You should have known better—I can’t keep anything from her. She knew I had a secret as soon as I walked in the door the night you told me. I don’t know how she does it. It’s some witchy shit.”
“Fucking right it is,” says Allie. “I know everything there is to know about everything and none of you should forget it.”
“See? She’s spooky man. I don’t know what to tell you.”
“It’s fine.” I sigh. “Jeremy doesn’t care either way. It’s my choice, and I haven’t decided yet. We still have some time, and honestly, I’m just not sure.”
“What’s not to be sure about? It’s an amazing opportunity, and it will launch Fireside into the stratosphere.”
“I’m not sure I want to be launched into the stratosphere. I always wanted to have a neighborhood bar, somewhere that feels warm and familiar. We figured we would open another couple of locations somewhere, but this is not that. This is a whole other level, and I may not be ready to go there. I like where I am.”
“Look, I know it’s scary to think about stepping outside of your comfort zone, and you are Pittsburgh, so I think it would be even harder for you. But this could be huge for you guys. And we’re here to support you—you know that,” says Allie, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“What she said,” says Jordan, kissing Allie on the cheek and grabbing a few glasses of champagne off the tray of a passing server that he hands to us.
“I appreciate the support, Al. I’ll let you know when…” I trail off as I see Hallie step into the room. My lungs promptly lose the capacity to breathe air. This is no cotton candy dress. She is wearing a floor-length red dress with tiny straps that dips low in the front and clings to every single curve of her body on the way down. On her feet are gold sandals with tall, thin heels that make her legs look miles long. When she walks, a side slit opens, giving me a glimpse of her toned leg all the way up to mid-thigh. Her hair falls down her back in soft brown waves, and her green eyes are smokey and mysterious looking. She is all woman and hot as fuck, and all the blood in my body rushes south so fast I get dizzy.
“When, what?” asks Allie.
“Huh?” I breathe, still not able to peel my eyes away from Hallie.
“Oh. My. God.” says Allie in a low voice.
That breaks my spell. I whip around to find her staring at me and Jordan staring at her.
“Hallie,” she declares and points at me. Jordan puts his head in his hands and groans.
“Hallie, what?” I ask her, trying to seem nonchalant even while the back of my neck starts to sweat.
“You. Hallie. You like her. You were looking at her just now like you wanted to devour her. It’s the way Jordan looks at me, but it’s the way you look at absolutely no one.”
I stare accusingly at Jordan.
Jordan throws both of his hands up and takes a step back. “I didn’t tell her! I swear!”
“ You knew ?” screeches Allie, staring at Jordan like she might punch him.
“Not really, I swear! Well, kind of. I sort of knew. A little. But no details. Seriously. I never actually knew if it was even true. And I never saw him look at her like that .”
“I’ll deal with you later,” she says to Jordan. Then she turns to me. “This is big news, Ben. How long has this been going on? I can’t believe Hallie didn’t tell me.”
“There would have been nothing to tell. Nothing has happened,” I say quickly.
Hallie and the girls are still making their way around the room. It’s only a matter of time before they spot us, and when they do, they will be over here in a flash.
“But you want it to,” declares Allie. Not a question. A statement. It is eerily similar to what Jeremy said at the bar last week when I told him. Fucking hell. Is every emotion I have just written on my face? I look at Allie helplessly. I seem to have completely lost the shield I usually have in place when it comes to Hallie. Telling Jeremy last week and the red dress tonight blew it to pieces.
On the upside, I’m no longer worried about hiding a hard-on in tux pants in a room full of the wealthiest and most important people in the sports world. Having my feelings for Hallie discovered in the middle of this party took care of that pretty quickly.
I shrug, not sure exactly what to say. My biggest secret is out there for the second time in a week, and once again, the thought of someone else knowing is a relief. I’m not so sure how long I can keep up appearances anyway. It’s already hard to keep a lid on my feelings where Hallie is concerned, but ever since she opened up to me over her worries about the firm, giving me a piece of her that no one else has, it has been damn near impossible.
“How long have you felt this way?” asks Allie.
“Since senior year,” I mumble. “Of high school.” If I’m going big tonight, I guess I’m going all the way.
Allie just stares at me, completely still and silent. When I turn to Jordan, I see the same stunned expression mirrored on his face.
“Fuck, Ben. I had no idea it’s been that long. I thought you just had, like, a kind of crush on her. I’m sorry, man, I should have realized.” Jordan reaches over and squeezes my shoulder in a gesture reminiscent of Jeremy’s from earlier in the week. The show of support from the other man I consider a brother has emotion welling up in my throat all over again.
“I kept it from you.” I sigh. “I kept it from everyone. Although, Jeremy knows now. He got it out of me last weekend when we met to talk about the business. Hallie and I have been friends our whole lives, and she and Jules might as well be sisters. I’ve always just been afraid to risk that, you know? If she doesn’t feel the same way, or it doesn’t work out, it would affect a lot more than just me and her. It always seemed easier to bury it. But lately…” I trail off, not sure what to say next.
Allie says nothing, just puts her arms around my waist and holds tight. I hold her back. “You should tell her,” she whispers. “I know it’s scary, but life’s too damn short not to find your happy, Ben. If she’s it, you need to tell her.”
Do all my friends share the same brain or something? I close my eyes and rest my cheek on the top of Allie’s head. I know she’s right, and I also have no clue what to do about it. She gives me one final squeeze and lets go, looking up at me, her face filled with empathy.
“Thanks, Al,” I say. “I know it’s time. I just have to figure out how. Don’t say anything, ok?”
“I would never, Benj. Just know we support you. I love you, and I love Hallie. I think you would be beautiful together.” Allie can be prickly and scary sometimes, but she is a good human and a really good friend.
“Look alive,” hisses Jordan, before I can say anything else. “We’ve been spotted.”