Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
Hallie
I t takes forever to make it through the ballroom where cocktails are being served. The four of us are stopped a thousand times by friends, family, and people we know from attending Jeremy’s foundation events over the years. The Kids Play gala is a major event, which isn’t usually my scene, but I look forward to this night every year. Something about all these beautiful and powerful people gathered in one place to raise money to help kids through a foundation started by a man who has become like family to me over the years gives me all the warm and fuzzy feels.
We finally make it through the crowd and approach the high-top table where Ben is standing with Jordan and Allie. Allie rushes forward and, impossibly, catches all four of us in a hug. She squeezes tight, and when she lets us go, she shimmies a little.
“I am so happy to see all of you,” she squeals. “I’m excited for the lake tomorrow. Dressing up and the gala is fun and all, but two weeks at the lake where I don’t have to cut anyone open or yell at a resident for doing something stupid? Now that is living.”
I laugh at her characteristically blunt delivery. I’m excited too. Our two weeks at the lake are a precious slice out of time. I never lose sight of how special it is that we are all able to take the time off every year to make it happen.
“Fuck, yes,” says Molly. “It’s vacation time. These last few weeks have been exciting as shit, but also fucking exhausting thanks to our resident drill sergeant.” She nudges Julie in the side.
Julie must be riding the same happy vibes I am from the gala and from being all together. Because instead of taking Molly’s bait, she just smiles and shakes her head. “You’ll be thanking me when we open an organized and well-supplied firm in a few months.”
Molly opens her mouth, probably to shoot something back about how Julie should thank her for making everything at the office look so amazing and how Julie better not bring all her spreadsheets to the lake and ruin our vacation, but before any words can come out, Emma claps her hand over Molly’s mouth.
“Don’t even think about it, Mol.”
We all laugh, even Molly. “There’s something comforting about having friends who know you well enough to know when you’re about to lay on the snark. Now, let’s find ourselves some drinks.”
“Got you covered,” Ben calls out from the table behind us. The five of us turn together to see Ben grabbing a bunch of champagne glasses off a server’s tray. We crowd around, me standing next to Ben with my shoulder pressed to his, as we all try to fit around the tiny table.
He turns to me and sweeps his eyes down my body and then back up again. “You look beautiful tonight, Hallie,” he says, his voice low. His normally ocean-blue eyes are dark and filled with something I have never seen before on him and can’t read. Whatever it is, I feel stuck in it, unable to look away, even as a feeling I can’t identify swirls low in my stomach. Then Ben breaks the spell, handing me a glass of champagne. He swings his arm around my shoulders and smacks a kiss to my cheek like he always does, as if nothing happened.
What the fuck was that? I look around to see if anyone else caught it. They are all chattering away, oblivious to the moment Ben and I shared. I glance back up at Ben, but he is laughing at something Jordan said and not paying any attention to me. Is it possible I just imagined it? I don’t think so. My conversation with Molly in the dressing room last week about Ben having feelings for me flashes through my brain. She got into my head, and now I’m reading into everything Ben does. That has to be it.
Before I can think any more about it, a voice comes over the PA system inviting us all into the main ballroom for dinner and dancing. As I turn to go, I feel a hand on my lower back. I look up to see Ben next to me. He catches my eye and winks at me before guiding me into the ballroom and following our friends toward our table. My entire body flushes with heat, and my breath backs up in my lungs.
No, but seriously, what the fuck is happening?
The walk into the ballroom feels like it is ten miles long, with Ben’s hand on my back and my breathing shallow. When we get to our table, Ben drops his hand, pulls out a chair for me to sit in, and plops down in the one next to me. I stutter out a breath and mutter something about the bathroom before I turn on my heel and make a quick escape.
I push my way into the women's room and lean against the sink, staring at my flushed face in the mirror and giving myself a little talking to. “ This is Ben. Julie’s brother, Ben. Friend Ben. Best friend Ben. We do not get heated for best friend Ben. Get a grip girl.” I’m more off than I think after the last few weeks of worry and little sleep and too much caffeine. I’m not my normal self right now. That’s all this is. I wet a paper towel and press it against my neck and take a couple of deep breaths. The cool towel does the trick, and, steadier, I walk back to the ballroom.
The party is in full swing. Dinner is amazing, as always, and the music is rocking the ballroom. Everyone at our table is happy, buzzed, and loud. I’m sitting on one side of the table with Julie, Emma, Molly, and Allie, and we are doing the thing you do when you are in a room full of professional athletes. Discussing their butts. Specifically, which sport provides its players with the best ones.
“It has to be the hockey players,” says Allie. “All that skating makes their butts so high and bubbly. It’s so fucking hot. Something to grab onto, you know?”
“Hey, now,” says Jordan from the other side of Allie. “Don’t be grabbing any butt except for mine, baby girl.”
“Don’t worry, hon,” Allie says, dropping a kiss on his lips. “You know yours is the only ass I want to grab.” Before she can turn back to us, Jordan grabs her face and kisses her with purpose, one hand cupping her cheek and the other tangling in her hair. He tips her head back to deepen the kiss before breaking it and staring into her eyes for a second, then dropping his hands.
“Fucking right it is,” he says, looking satisfied.
Allie turns back around to where we are all laughing. She has a slightly dazed expression on her face, like she isn’t quite sure where she is.
“Damn, girl,” says Julie.
“I think I had a tiny orgasm just watching that,” Molly pipes in.
“How do you find a guy who can kiss like that?” asks Emma.
I stay quiet, replaying the kiss I just witnessed. My eyes have a mind of their own tonight because they drift to Ben. He is looking directly back at me with the same expression I saw earlier. Dark and penetrating and full of something I can’t name. What is up with tonight?
“Um, I think I need to get out of here,” Allie says. “Like, right now.” She stands, pulling Jordan up with her. “Come on, Jord. We’re having dessert at home.”
Jordan stands and smirks. “We’re out of here. Say goodbye to Jer for us. See you at the lake.” He wraps an arm around Allie’s waist, and they walk away side-by-side, Jordan’s hand straying to Allie’s ass as they go.
“Should we place bets on whether they have sex in the car before they get home?” asks Molly. “That kiss was capital H Hot.”
“I bet they stop in the bathroom before they even leave the hotel,” says Julie.
“What Jules said,” Ben adds. I snort, and he grins at me. Whatever is going on with Ben tonight is giving me whiplash. From the dark and intense looks I can’t read and don’t understand, to the fun and playful Ben that I know so well, the whole thing is confusing as fuck. And the weirdest part is that no one seems to notice but me.
“Hey, best pals,” a voice calls out. I look over and see Jeremy walking up to us with our quarterback photographer by his side.
“Hey, Jer. Congratulations on a great night,” says Ben, standing up to give Jeremy a real hug. Not a one-armed, slap you on the back man hug, but an actual, arms around each other hug. I adore their friendship. I don’t know much about Jeremy’s backstory, but from the little that Ben has said, I know he didn’t have the easiest childhood, and then he got injured and had to leave the NHL. Ben has been with him through a lot. They are friends and business partners, but really, where it counts, they’re brothers.
“Thanks, man. Have you guys met Asher Hansley?” he asks. “He’s going to be doing some work with the foundation.”
“I met these lovely ladies outside earlier.” Asher aims that killer smile right at Julie. “They drafted me to be their photographer.”
“Great, well, Asher, this is Hallie, Emma, Molly, and Julie.” He gestures to each of us, then to Ben. “And Ben, one of my best friends. And wait, where’s Jordan?”
“Having sex,” Julie and Molly say together.
Asher grins. “I think you all are my people.”
We all chat for a few more minutes and then the music, which has been loud and upbeat all night, changes to something softer and slower.
Asher holds his hand out to Julie. “Want to dance, blondie?’
“What the hell,” says Julie, taking his hand and letting him pull her up.
“Well, if we’re dancing now, I’m going to hunt me down an athlete.” Molly grins and stands up.
“Take a walk past table twelve,” says Asher, pointing a couple of tables away. “Rookie table.” He winks at her and leads Julie to the dance floor.
Molly saunters away, swinging her hips when she gets to table twelve, where wolf-whistles erupt.
“What do you say, Em? Feel like dancing?” asks Jeremy.
Emma looks like she wants the floor to swallow her up, but she manages a quick nod and takes Jeremy’s offered hand.
And then it’s just Ben and me at the table. “Want to dance, Hal?” he asks, his voice low. I stare at him for a second, forgetting how to speak because this is Ben, and Ben has never—ever—talked to me in a low, sexy voice before. I am shocked at how much I don’t hate it. He holds out his hand to me, and I take it and stand. He leads me to the far corner of the dance floor and I’m weightless, floating over the dance floor as he turns me around, sliding his hand loosely around my waist and bringing our joint hands up between us to rest on his chest. I wrap my other arm around his neck, and we sway together, him turning us slowly as the music floats over the room.
Ben pulls me almost imperceptibly closer, tucking me against him more firmly. He’s at least eight inches taller than I am, but my heels give me enough extra height that the top of my head comes up right under his chin. I could rest my head perfectly on his chest if I wanted to. And why do I suddenly want to?
Friend, Hallie. Friend Ben.
Then the hand resting on my waist starts to drift up and down my lower back as we move, and butterflies erupt in my stomach. Ben is giving me butterflies. Ben. My Ben. Friend Ben. We have danced together before, but it sure never felt like this. My entire body buzzes with awareness.
Then Ben dips his head and speaks directly into my ear. A shiver runs down my spine as his lips graze the shell of my ear. “You really do look beautiful tonight, Hal. I saw you in that dress when you walked in, and I lost the power of speech for a full minute.”
I freeze and slowly tip my head back to make sure it’s still Ben I’m dancing with, because my Ben has never talked to me like this. Never. But there he is. My Ben, who I have known my entire life. Ben, whose face is as familiar to me as my own. Ben, who is suddenly looking at me like he wants to devour me whole.
I would let him . The thought crashes into me without warning. I suck in a breath and tip my head back down, so I’m not looking at him in the eyes anymore. Weird things happen tonight when I look Ben in the eye.
Ben’s hand drifts up my back and presses gently so that my head rests on his chest. Then he drifts it back down, his fingers dragging along my spine before his arm loops back around my waist. We finish out the song that way, and when the music changes again to something upbeat, we stand there for a few seconds, not moving a single muscle. I am a tangled riot of feelings from this one dance with Ben, and I have no clue what to do about it. He slowly pulls away from me and searches my eyes before kissing my forehead and leading me back to the table.
The rest of the gala passes in a blur of mingling, dessert, long looks with Ben that I have no idea how to interpret, and conversations with strangers Jules pushes me into to network for the firm. The upside to this weird vibe between Ben and me is that I am too preoccupied to worry that I might be soliciting clients for a practice I don’t want, for a firm that I may or may not be a part of when it opens in January. Small blessings, I guess.
And then the night is over. We say our goodbyes to Jeremy and Asher, who has glued himself to Jeremy’s side, seemingly pretty serious about getting involved in the foundation.
Molly, Julie, and Emma hug Ben goodbye and turn to go, leaving me standing alone in front of him. This night has been so unexpectedly strange that for the first time in almost thirty years of friendship, I don’t know what to say to him. Ben doesn’t have the same problem. He pulls me into a hug. His arms band around me, and I can feel his hard chest pressed against me. His lips ghost against my ear again as he whispers, “See you at the lake, Hallie girl.”
The butterflies in my stomach flare to life again. We pull apart and I mumble, “See you tomorrow,” before running out of the ballroom to catch up with my friends.
I stare out the limo window on the way home, wondering for the millionth time what the fuck happened tonight, why I am so turned on, and what I’m going to do about it.