Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
ANDY
Saturday 9:14 pm
Declan
I'll be there Monday when you get off work, but I have to be back Tuesday morning. The next shows will be Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday.
Me
Can't wait to see you.
Declan
Me too. Miss you so fucking much, Mama.
Sunday 8:30 a.m.
Declan
Good morning, Mama. I hate waking up without you.
Send nudes. I miss your body.
Me
Haha. No way.
Declan
Please. I miss your tits.
Me
*sends a tit pic*
Declan
*incoming dick pic*
I just came all over my phone on the tit pic you sent. Thanks, baby. I can't wait until you're in my arms and I'm inside you.
Next time, it'll be your tits I'm coming on.
Monday 9:47 a.m.
Declan
By this time tonight, we'll be together. You have no idea how badly I need to hold you.
Me
Me, too. Are you okay?
Declan
We'll talk tonight.
You'll always have my tomorrows.
Waking up in Vegas in Declan's arms Saturday morning was everything I hoped it could've been. We showered together, got ready for the day side by side at the double vanity, and then went to a restaurant in the hotel for breakfast with Spencer. I thought it would've been odd having a meal together and getting to know his ex-wife's sister, but it wasn't. Spencer had been genuinely interested in me, and the way she and Declan spoke to each other eased my fears about anything intimate happening between them.
But that didn't stop me from asking him if they'd ever fucked, and he laughed so hard at the question I swore he was going to piss himself. That also calmed my fears.
Unfortunately, right after we ate, I had to leave. Declan had to work, and I missed Max and was ready to get home to my baby girl.
Since then, I've been texting as much as possible and waiting to see him again. We never mentioned what we discussed Friday night, and he never said anything when I took the ring pop off. I'm sure his declaration had been pillow talk, but I won't be the one to bring it up. He doesn't owe me anything.
Logically, this wouldn't work out long-term between us, but I'm fine remaining in my delusional bubble for as long as possible.
Today is Monday, and I've been watching the clock since I arrived. Declan wants to be with me, even just for one night. He's taking time away from his busy schedule to be with me.
The true definition of if he wanted to, he would.
By the time 3:30 p.m. arrives, I clock out and practically run out of the hotel. I'm not sure what time he'll arrive, but I will be ready for the moment he does.
On the way home, I stop at the daycare center to pick up Max. I haven't told her that her best friend will be here tonight, but she'll be thrilled to see him. Not a day has gone by that she hasn't asked about him. I swear she misses him more than she missed me while I was away Friday night.
"Mommy! Look at my drawing." Max calls out once we're inside our apartment, rushing toward the kitchen table. She sets down her pink backpack and unzips it, pulling out a piece of paper that she delicately placed inside. She carefully carries it in both hands like it's her most prized possession. She hands me the paper, and I take it, looking over the three stick figures inside a house.
My eyes flick between her and the paper. "Tell me about your drawing."
Her brown eyes shine with excitement. She reaches up on her tiptoes, grabs the white piece of paper from my hands, and points to the smallest figure. "That's me." She points to the figure with long black hair and red lips. "That's you, Mommy." She points to the following figure. "That's Declan. And that's our house and our doggie." Her finger moves over the page.
"We have a dog?"
She grins, rocking on her heels. "I'm asking Santa for a doggie this year. I've been so super-duper very good." She clasps her hands, placing them beneath her chin. "A doggie will make me so, so, so, sooooo happy."
Hard to argue with that. Although I thought we were past the dog discussion, or at least I was hoping we were. Every once in a while, she becomes fixated on us getting a dog. I'd get her one in a heartbeat if I could afford it.
"One day, Max." I pick her up in my arms, kissing her round little cheek, carrying her toward the fridge. Grabbing a magnet, I hand it to her and hold the paper to the refrigerator, allowing her to set the magnet on top, securing it to the front of our fridge.
"Do you promise?" she asks, holding up her pinky. I hook it with mine and give her another kiss.
"One day, baby girl. Mommy never lies to you." She smiles brightly at me, her wide eyes full of trust. I do my best to give my daughter the life my mother was never able to provide me with. To give her everything she wants and needs. I don't want her to grow up and have trauma like mine.
I may not be able to buy her everything she wants or fill our house with brand-new name-brand items, but I'll do anything to ensure she never goes a day without a warm meal or clean clothes and never has to question whether she's loved.
My girl will always know she's loved and so very wanted.
Setting her on her feet, I glance at the drawing once again. "Max, why did you draw Declan in your picture?"
She looks at me, rolling her eyes and giving me her teenage attitude. "Because he's our family," she states, matter-of-fact, as if I should've known that.
I've wanted to keep her from becoming attached to him, but I know it's pointless because she already is and has been since they met.
Over the past month and a half, my girl and I have fallen in love in different ways.
Pulling Max into my arms, I hug her close, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. "Yeah, baby girl, you're right. He is our family," I say in a low tone, a smile of contentment tugging across my lips.
Three hours later, Max and I are dressed in pajamas, clean from a shower. She chose her green and white Princess and The Frog pajamas, while I wore an oversized white T-shirt and black sleep shorts.
Typically, I'd be getting ready to put her down for bed, but considering Declan will be here tonight, I've decided to keep her up a little later than usual. He's only going to be here for one night, and she's been missing him like crazy.
I'm in the kitchen cleaning up our dinner mess while Max is in the living room sitting at the coffee table with her coloring book when there's a soft knock at the door.
My ears perk up, and my heart skips a beat at the noise. A second later, there's another soft tap, followed by my phone pinging with an incoming text. Drying my hands, I quickly grab my phone from the counter, grinning at the sight of Declan's name.
Declan
Open the door, Mama.
I'm sure he thinks Max is asleep, which is why his knocks are gentle, so I choose to surprise him.
"Hey, Max?" I call out, looking toward my daughter, who sits on the floor in the living room with a crayon in each hand .
Her wide eyes meet mine, "What, Mommy?"
"Can you open the door, please?"
Her face scrunches up in confusion, knowing she's never allowed to answer the door, "Why?"
"Because there's a surprise for you outside." She sets the crayons down and stands to her feet, eyes wide with excitement.
"A present? For me?" I nod.
"Yay! I love presents!" She runs toward the door, tiny hands reaching for the locks.
She huffs in annoyance as she struggles with the deadbolt but eventually gets it to turn. Once the door is unlocked, she yanks the door open, revealing a sexy-as-fuck rockstar standing on the other side.
Declan.
The black strap of his duffle bag is over his shoulder, and he's dressed in his typical black ripped jeans and a plain black T-shirt.
His brown eyes meet Max, his face shifting into pure adoration at the sight of my daughter.
Max blinks rapidly, trying to comprehend what she's seeing. The moment her mind catches up with her eyes, she's a bouncing ball of energy and excitement.
"Best friend!" she yells, throwing herself at him with her arms wide. She wraps herself around his legs, hugging him tightly.
"I missed you so very much!" Declan leans down, picks her up into his arms, and steps inside while she clings to him, small arms wrapped around his neck.
"Hi, Max. I missed you too." Kicking the door shut, he reaches back and engages the locks before shifting Max slightly to remove the bag from his shoulder and drop it. It falls to the floor with a thud. Then, both arms are wrapped around my daughter.
Her eyes close, a tear rolling down her smiling face as she soaks up every second with her best friend whom she hasn't seen in what she claims is forever.
Declan's eyes find mine from where I stand across the room, an easy smirk playing on his lips at the sight of me. He holds an arm out to me. I don't need to be told twice, and I've missed him like fucking crazy, so I walk toward him, falling into the comfort of his arms.
I'm aware it's only been a few days since we were together, considering I saw him over the weekend, but I'm becoming used to having him around.
For once, I feel safe.
Declan wraps his arm around me, hugging me tightly against his body while he holds Max in the other.
"Missed my girls so much," he mumbles under his breath.
His girls.
Swoon .
Max pulls back to look at him. "Best friend, are you back and staying with us forever?" I raise my hand and wipe the tears from her round pink cheeks.
Before answering, he looks at me, and I see the dread in his eyes about having to respond and risk making my girl sad with his answer.
"Sorry, Max, I'm leaving tomorrow. I have to get back to work in the morning." His words are laced with regret, and I get the feeling that if he could stay here with us, he would. He doesn't want to leave us as badly as we don't want him to leave.
Max's shoulders fall, and her pouty lips curl into a frown. "Oh." She lays her head on his shoulder, one arm still wrapped around his neck. "That's okay, best friend. Mommy and I will be here waiting for you."
"I have something for you." I step away from him, allowing him space to bend and set her down.
"What is it?" she asks, suddenly interested in what he has.
Declan reaches down into his duffle bag, pulls out a rolled-up poster, and holds it with a grin. "We have to hang it in your room. Come on." She grabs his hand and leads him down the hallway .
"Andy, do you have tape or thumbtacks?" he asks over his shoulder, following Max's lead. They're out of sight before I'm able to answer. In the kitchen, I pull open a drawer and grab a roll of Scotch tape. I carry it as I head toward Max's bedroom, curious about what Declan brought for my daughter.
They are standing by the wall across from Max's bed. He unrolls the rolled-up poster in his hands, revealing a US map.
Max stares wide-eyed, interested but unsure what she's even looking at. "Woah! What is it?"
"This is a map for you to mark every state I visit while I'm away. That way, you know where I am," he explains patiently, taking the tape I hold out to him.
My heart skips a beat as I watch the two of them hang the white map on the wall. The thoughtfulness of it has me choking up, unable to believe the man did something so adorable for my daughter. But I shouldn't be surprised. This is the type of person he is.
I sit on her bed across from them, watching them together. Max grabs her set of markers, and Declan chooses a blue one. He explains to her what he's going to do.
"These are all the states, and I'm going to write the cities I'll visit inside each one." The large white map poster is blank except for the abbreviations of each state. He points to the shape of Washington. "This is Washington, where my first show will be, so I will write it here." He points out, making sure Max understands everything he does.
Inside the sizable blank shape, Declan writes Seattle and Auburn , the two cities he'll be playing while there. Then, he moves on to the other states he'll be visiting.
Arizona, New York, and Pennsylvania.
Four states.
Seven cities.
"You can have your mom show you where I'm at each day. That way, you'll always know." Max nods in understanding, looking between Declan and the map.
"Where do we live?" she asks. He points to the shape of Nevada.
Max takes a purple marker and draws a massive heart over the state, turning to him with a smile when she's done. "There. Now I can see how far away from me you are."
They spend the next hour talking and playing, and I leave them to it while I finish cleaning the kitchen.
Eventually, Declan comes to find me, wrapping his arms around me when he sees me in the kitchen going through the mail I'd brought in earlier but had yet to sort through.
His chin rests on my shoulder as his arms wrap around my waist from behind.
"She's knocked out. She was falling asleep while we were playing with her dolls, so I helped her into bed while she protested and told her that we were playing hide and seek. She closed her eyes to count, then started snoring." He chuckles, the deep, raspy sound sending a wave of lust through me and vibrating against my back.
I'll never get tired of hearing the sound of his voice.
"Good. I'm glad she's asleep." Setting the mail back down on the counter, I turn in his arms to face him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Thank you for being here." He steps into me, pressing our bodies together.
"No place I'd rather be," he mumbles, crushing his lips against mine in a heated kiss that sends warmth through my bloodstream and a wave of moisture to my core.
Fuck.
His lips are magic.
No one has ever had the ability to turn me on with just a kiss as much as he does.
"Fucking missed you," he mutters against my lips, forcing his tongue inside my mouth and tangling it with mine. One hand slips beneath my T-shirt and grabs my breast, a strangled groan leaving him when he realizes I'm not wearing a bra. His fingers stroke over my already hard nipples, pinching and rolling the pebbled peaks in his fingers.
His other hand slips between us and dips down into my sleep shorts, instantly finding my wet core and clit.
"Fuck. You're not wearing panties." He groans, making me gasp as he spreads my arousal to my clit and begins stroking it in slow lazy movements.
"Don't tease me. I'm too fucking horny for that."
He laughs, teeth sinking into my neck as he continues playing with my nipples and clit, making me gasp against his kiss.
"Let's go to your room so I can spend the night fucking you." He pulls his hand away, sucking his fingers into his mouth. An unladylike growl climbs up my throat at the sight of him sucking his fingers clean, watching the way his eyes roll as the taste of me hits his buds.
Grabbing his hand, I nearly drag him down the hallway toward my bedroom. Once we're inside, I lock the door, and in a matter of seconds, I have myself stripped bare of clothing and am climbing onto the bed, spreading my legs to give him the perfect view of my glistening pussy.
"I need you now," I whine, reaching a hand between my legs, and begin playing with myself. Two fingers disappear inside my pussy for a moment before I drag them up to my clit, rubbing it slowly as I work myself up while watching him.
A smug smirk spreads across his mouth as he takes his time undressing himself. Black briefs are the final clothing item to fall from his magnificent body, revealing his hard cock pointing straight toward me like it knows its way home.
The third arm between his legs is pointing home, and that home is inside of me.
Declan lies down beside me, his large hand wrapping around his shaft as he tugs at himself.
"Get on top of me, Mama. Right fucking now. I need you to ride me and bring those tits to my face." My stomach fills with nerves at the mention of riding him.
It's not my favorite position, and this’ll only be the second time I’ve ever done it. Vegas with him was the first.
"I want you on top fucking me," I say, continuing to rub my clit, hoping to entice him.
"If you want this dick, you'll climb on it."
When I don't move, he continues pumping his dick, eyes never leaving me, daring me to give in before he does.
Fuck that, and fuck him.
If I weren't a horny hoe right now, I'd call his bluff, but I guess he's calling mine instead.
Swallowing down my fears of not looking good enough, I climb onto my knees and swing a leg over him so he's positioned below me, my legs on either side.
Declan guides his cock in as I slowly lower myself, the same way I've seen in porn videos.
The tip meets my slick entrance, a groan leaving my lips as I continue lowering myself until my ass meets his thighs, and he's seated deep inside of me.
"Holy fuck." I gasp, nipples becoming so hard they can cut glass. This position has him sliding deeper into me than ever before. I'm sure I can feel him in my throat, but I love it. It's equal parts pleasure and pain.
I move slightly onto my knees so he's not as deep, then I drop back down. His head is angled where I need it, rubbing against the spot within me that'll have me soon seeing stars.
"Bring those tits to my face." He groans, one hand on my hip while the other slips between us and rubs my clit.
Giving the man what he wants, I lean forward until his lips wrap around one of my nipples, sucking the pebbled peak and flattening his tongue over it.
We fall into an easy rhythm, with me bouncing on him and him fucking me from below, all while he continues rubbing my clit .
Before long, we're both reaching our climax and falling over the edge, gasping and crying our release into each other's mouths.
After cleaning up, we lay naked beneath the sheets, limbs tangled together as we listen to the sounds of each other breathing, taking comfort in the fact we're together.
Declan is the first to break our silence.
"I'm leaving next week. This is our final week before we head to Seattle to prepare for our first show. We'll be there for a few days beforehand, then two weeks of shows before returning to Vegas." I knew this was coming. I knew our two months was coming to an end, but that doesn't keep my heart from dropping.
"Fuck," I whisper, closing my eyes and hoping he doesn't hear the hurt in my voice. I get the feeling that our lives are about to change forever. Once he leaves, we'll never be the same again. Call it intuition, but I know something is going to change us.
"I know." He tightens his arms around me, pulling my back against his chest as he molds us together. "We're heading out next Monday." This is our last week together.
One week from today, we'll be faced with the ultimate test of whether our relationship can withstand a tour.
"Since we haven't toured in a while, everything is getting fast-tracked. Our label and Benny want us out there performing as much as possible." His arms tighten around me. "I'll be gone for about two and a half weeks, then once we get back, we'll instantly be diving into rehearsals for our upcoming tour. It'll likely be six months before we leave, but until then, the days will be long and busy." I've seen the joy on his face when he's in front of a crowd. Despite his fears, I know how much performing means to him, and I'd never want to keep him from doing what he loves or make him feel bad about it.
I will support him no matter what because that's what good girlfriends do. That's what you do for the ones you love .
"We'll make it work." I force a smile, wishing I could ignore my gut feeling and believe my lie.
"Yeah, Mama. We will." He kisses my shoulder and up to my neck, causing a soft groan to escape. He grabs my leg and raises it to give him better access to my still-wet pussy. Slipping a hand between us, he lines himself up and pushes inside of me.
Declan fucks me slowly from behind while holding me and whispering promises in my ear that I pray he'll be able to keep.
"I'll come back to you."
"You're my everything."
"I want all your tomorrows."