Chapter 14
Kole
As Kole had expected, Beck wasn’t there when he woke, but he still hadn’t shown up when Kole was released the next afternoon. What he wanted to do was storm around to his house and demand Beck see him, but that wasn’t the way to go. Knowing Beck as Kole did, the man would freeze him out—if he hadn’t already. No, what he needed to do was get advice. The question was, who did he ask? Joey might’ve been the best person, but he wasn’t sure he should break Beck’s confidence in case he hadn’t told him about their relationship.
Well, whatever type of relationship they had. Or would’ve had.
He needed to figure out how to approach Beck and make him understand it wasn’t his fault. The fault lay in Drake’s hands and always would.
Kole sighed in the back seat of the car as Joey drove him home. Ethan was chattering away as he usually did, and Kole tried to ignore how Joey kept flicking his gaze towards him. Ethan had been there for him after his first attack had happened, but Joey hadn’t. Neither of them was hiding how unnerved they were. It wasn’t like Drake was going to come back for him. He was in jail at the moment, and when he got out, it was highly unlikely he would be stupid enough to try something again, not with how much security was now in place.
When they stopped at Life in Ink instead of Kole’s apartment, he frowned. “What are we doing here?”
Joey cleared his throat in an unusual show of uneasiness which instantly had goosebumps rising on his arms and neck.
“Beck wants to talk to all of us.”
“About what?”
Joey scratched his chin. “I don’t know.” He climbed out of the car, leaving silence behind.
Ethan turned in his seat and met Kole’s gaze. “He honestly doesn’t know what it’s about, but he’s worried Beck is leaving.”
Kole’s chest constricted, but he pushed open the door and climbed out, barely wincing with the ache in his body. His throat still hurt, but at least he could talk properly now. He didn’t care what he had to do, but he would stop Beck from leaving. Beck’s family was there, and if he left, he’d lose his support network. The Life in Ink crew wouldn’t turn their backs on him, but he would turn his back on them, which would be worse.
They entered the tattoo shop and headed to Beck’s studio. With every step Kole took, he felt the heaviness in his limbs, the rapid pace of his heart and the scrambling of his mind as he tried to find a solution. He still hadn’t come up with anything when they stepped into the tidy space. Beck paced in front of the window until Joey closed the door behind them, Dallas, Finn and Ani having already arrived.
“What’s this about, Beck?” Joey asked.
Beck clasped his fingers together and raised them to the top of his head, his elbows stretched wide as he finally stood still. His gaze was rooted to the floor, and Kole’s heart ached for him. No matter what he was about to say, he was in pain, and Kole wanted to soothe him.
“When I was eleven years old, I was…raped repeatedly by my foster brother.” Beck crossed his arms over his chest as Kole froze. “Drake was the son the Prices had always wanted. Someone as twisted and vile as they were. Neither of them believed me… No. Neither of them cared when I told them. They told me to stop whining and get on with my chores. I thought if I just kept quiet, he’d leave the others alone.” Beck sighed and faced the window, his back a stretch of muscle tightened to the extreme. “He threatened many times to start on one of the others if I didn’t do what he said, so I let it happen. At least until they found an excuse to make me leave. After, I was so worried about the others, but none of the social workers listened to me either. They didn’t want the headache a rape allegation would bring them.”
Kole would’ve been able to hear a splash of ink hit the tile floor at that moment. He could feel everyone holding their breaths, either with sympathy or fury, at what had happened to their friend. But they all seemed to realise Beck wasn’t finished, and Kole braced himself for the rest of his story.
“I’m only telling you this because I went to the police today and reported him.”
Kole couldn’t help the gasp that left him, and Beck turned to face him, locking gazes.
“It was the only way I could think of to protect you,” he continued. “Drake is mean and unforgiving and unrelenting. He would never give up if he was released. It’s why he’s back. I was the one who got away, but you’re paying the price. I can’t have that.”
Kole stepped forward, but Beck blanched, so he stopped.
“The media will have a field day with this when they get wind of it. I wanted to make sure you have the real story before they start hounding us with their made-up versions. I’m sure the Prices will get their fifteen minutes of fame soon enough.”
He faced the window again but said nothing more.
“You better not be thinking of leaving,” Dallas said.
Beck turned and rested back against the windowsill, arms still tightly bound across his chest. “There’s no point. The police will need to keep talking to me, and wherever I go, someone will find me. I may as well face the music here.”
“I, for one, am fucking glad for that.” Joey stepped forward and dragged Beck into a hug, despite Beck not returning it. “You’re family, and we’ll all be here for whatever comes.” He stepped back and into Ethan’s arms.
Dallas clapped his shoulder. “Whatever you need, just name it.”
“Don’t need anything. I was just warning you of the hurricane coming our way.”
Finn stepped up as Dallas dropped back and murmured something too low for Kole to hear, but Beck nodded slowly. Kole couldn’t do anything. After all, when he’d tried to approach before, Beck’s body language had warned him off. Glancing at Ethan, his best friend tilted his head towards Beck, but Kole shook his head.
“Well, I’ll get back to work,” Dallas said, clapping his hands together and making Kole jump.
Beck’s gaze snapped to him, but he lowered his head again straight away. Finn followed Dallas out, and Joey, Ethan and Ani copied, leaving just him and Beck. Kole swallowed again the pain, both in his throat and his heart.
“Beck, I—”
“It’s fine. It is what it is.”
Kole sighed. “Don’t shut me out, Beck. I definitely haven’t been through what you have, so I can’t begin to understand, but I’m here. I want to be here, and I will be here whenever you want me. I’m not leaving you.”
Beck’s gaze met his, and the emptiness inside his eyes was almost too much for Kole to bear. “You should. There’s nothing worth staying for.” He turned to face the window again, effectively dismissing Kole.
As much as he wanted to argue, Beck had already been through so much—and for Kole—so he did what Beck wanted and left. For now.
Closing the door softly behind him, he swallowed against the tears fighting to be set free from everything Beck had been through and wandered to his own studio. He grabbed a pencil and pad and tucked himself into the armchair in the corner of the room and let his emotions run free.
Time ran away, but it seemed less than a few minutes when Ethan came to see him.
“How are you doing?”
Kole sighed and closed his sketching pad, holding it close to his chest. “I don’t really know.” He coughed, his voice rough from not being used for long and the rough treatment it had received. “I can’t say I’m surprised by Beck’s news.”
“Me neither.” Ethan settled onto the stool that had come with the room, spinning it side to side almost subconsciously. “I had hoped I was wrong. Bloody hell, though. He has balls of steel to walk straight into the police station and offer up that info.”
Kole stared at him. “What?”
Ethan paused his spinning and cocked his head. “Beck waited until this morning, then walked into the police station to give a statement against Drake.”
Kole’s chest ached, the band that had already been constricting his lungs tightening further. “Why?”
Ethan rolled his eyes. “Beck said why, but even I can figure out the answer to that without asking. To protect you. And others. I dread to think how many people Drake had got to over the years.”
“But it’s going to cause so many problems for him. For you.”
“The only problem it will cause is giving us more advertising. There is no bad advertising, remember?”
Kole shook his head. “This is different. This is Beck’s life.”
Ethan sighed. “We have no choice in this, Kole. It was Beck’s decision to make, and he made it. We have nothing to say about it, and neither should we. He’s the bravest son of a bitch in the world in my books.”
“And in mine,” Kole whispered, turning his head to stare out of the window. “I just wish he hadn’t had to go through it all—in the first place, and now, all over again.”
“Same.” Ethan sighed. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”
Kole didn’t argue, and before he knew it, he was back at the scene of the crime, crossing the threshold into his newly repaired apartment. Surprisingly, he had no issues with being there. Ethan had been with him when he entered, but Kole held no bad feelings towards the place. The landlord, however, was another matter.
“We’ve had new locks put on, and the landlord has agreed to not have keys for the moment. He might change his mind, but for now, he doesn’t want us to cause problems, so he’s willing to forget that he doesn’t have them.”
“Good job, too. I’d hate to have to apartment hunt because he’s an asshole.” Kole settled onto the sofa and rested his head back. “Go on. Head back home. I’ll be fine.”
“You sure?”
“Definitely.”
“Ring me straight away if you have any problems.”
Kole smiled. “Yes, Mum.” He reached for the remote.
Ethan put his middle finger up at him and closed the door behind him as he left. When silence descended, Kole took a breath. And another. And another. There, in his apartment, behind locked doors, he could let all his feelings out, but what he found was that anger was the most prevalent. How dare Drake hurt Beck? How dare he take that innocence from him?
A crack sounded, and he glanced at the remote in his hand. The remote that now had a lovely crack down the middle of it. He put it down and stood, shuffling to the bedroom. As much as he didn’t want to, he needed sleep. Unafraid of nightmares relating to his ordeal, he was more worried about nightmares about Beck’s because he wasn’t sure he could stand watching even hypothetical images of what happened to him. But then, Beck had been through it. The least Kole could do was weather the imagery.
Four hours later, he rethought his idea. Having woken from nightmares five times already, he wasn’t sure he could withstand much more, so he climbed from the sweat-soaked bed, stripped the sheets and shoved them in the washing machine before making himself a hot chocolate. Caffeine was not a good idea, and though chocolate held some, it wasn’t enough to bother him. Maybe the heat of it would help him sleep again but on the sofa that time.
Putting the drink on the coffee table, he picked up the cracked remote and aimed it at the TV, hoping it wasn’t broken enough not to work. Luck was on his side—for once—and he chose a black and white film he had no idea the title of, wrapped a blanket around his shoulders and another over his legs, and cradled the mug in his hands.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d stared at the screen before a beeping drew his attention. It stopped almost as soon as he heard it and then started again. Putting his empty mug on the coffee table, having no idea when he’d drunk it, he wandered into his bedroom and unplugged his phone. He checked the screen to find several messages.
BECK: I hope you can forgive me.
BECK: I may have had a little too much to drink.
BECK: Ignore me.
BECK: You don’t need to forgive me.
BECK: I wasn’t there to protect you, but I’ll make sure you never go through that again.
Kole’s heart skipped several beats as he read the messages. As far as Kole was concerned, Beck rarely drank a lot, but he must’ve drunk a fair amount to be messaging him. Was it wrong for Kole to be considering messaging back while Beck was under the influence? Maybe. But was he going to do it, anyway? Hell, yes. He’d take Beck whichever way he could have him.
KOLE: There is nothing to forgive. You didn’t do this. Drake did. Don’t take his responsibilities onto your shoulders.
KOLE: Now, tell me, what do you need?
He waited. Would Beck reply or not? When the dots danced across the screen, he held his breath.
BECK: I have everything to be sorry for. If I had told sooner, Drake wouldn’t have done that to you.
KOLE: You said you did tell, and no one believed you. That wasn’t your fault.
He tucked himself into bed, dragging the cover over him as he waited for the next message.
BECK: I could’ve tried harder.
KOLE: Do you really think it would’ve worked?
He waited, then followed it up with another.
KOLE: Really?
BECK: I want to believe it would have.
KOLE: The world is cruel sometimes. A lot of times. But we can survive it all. With family. With friends. With partners. With anyone who means something. If we have that someone, we can fight our way through to the other side.
BECK: How did you get so wise?
KOLE: I blame my mother.
There was a long few minutes where Kole thought Beck had fallen asleep or something, but the dots appeared again.
BECK: I’m sorry.
KOLE: You only have something to be sorry for if you pull away, Beck. I’m here. Don’t push me away.
BECK: I’ll try.
BECK: I’m going to try to sleep off this alcohol. Night.
KOLE: Night, Beck.
Nothing else appeared, so Kole set his phone on the bedside table and slid onto his back, staring towards the ceiling. His entire being felt lighter after their conversation, but whether Beck would remember anything the following morning was the question. It depended on how drunk he truly was. He’d seemed fairly sound of mind.
Kole rolled over to his side, tucking his hand beneath his pillow. The next thing he knew, his body was protesting the need for more sleep when it needed the bathroom as well. He dragged himself to the toilet before splashing his face with cool water to help the discomfort of gritty eyes. When he sat on the edge of his bed to check his phone, he found another message waiting for him, but he startled as the current time caught his eye. He hadn’t slept until eleven in the morning for years. Clicking on the message, he grinned at Ethan’s words.
ETHAN: I’m assuming you’re asleep, and that’s why you’re not at work, and that’s a good thing. I’m also a little worried that something else has happened, but Joey has told me to stop being a mother hen, as did you last night. I’m trying. So I’m not tearing around to your apartment. Yet. If you’re not in touch by noon, all bets are off.
Kole snorted and typed a message back, letting Ethan know he was alive and would be in after lunch. Then he scrolled through the messages he and Beck had shared and chewed his lip. After a few minutes of deliberation, he sent one.
KOLE: Hope your head doesn’t hurt too much this morning. Let me know if you need any paracetamol. Or breakfast.
KOLE: Or rather brunch at this time of the morning.
Once he was satisfied that he’d kept the conversation open, he went for a shower. His body still ached from what had happened, but it was easier to move around than it had been the previous day, even if his bruises belied that thought. After his refreshing shower, he checked his phone again, shaking his head at how much he used the damn thing, but then that thought flew out of his head at a reply from Beck.
BECK: I’ll be at The Cuckoo if you’d like to join me for breakfast/brunch/lunch all rolled into one. Say half twelve?
KOLE: I’ll be there.
And though he tried to shove it all down, he couldn’t help the ache in his cheeks as he dressed and headed for the door. Maybe things would turn out okay after all.
****