Chapter 15
Beck
When Beck had checked his phone after he’d woken from an alcohol-induced sleep, he’d been mortified to find the messages he’d sent to Kole. He’d promised himself that he’d step back from him, giving him the chance to find someone else, but his drunken self obviously had other plans. So when Kole had checked on him that morning, it had taken him a good fifteen minutes to decide whether or not to keep the bridge open between them.
In the end, it hadn’t been something he could deny, no matter how much he told himself he should.
Waiting at The Cuckoo for Kole to arrive was a lesson in patience he didn’t know he needed. He ordered a cup of coffee because he was half an hour early and didn’t want to sit there without buying something while he waited.
The cafe was a small, family-owned business on a side street Beck had found during one of his long, wandering walks when he’d first started working at Life in Ink. He’d known a bit of London and had wanted to explore in the early hours of the morning and hadn’t felt like using his bike was the best choice. Nothing like upsetting the neighbourhood with a roaring engine to dispel the serenity. He’d been visiting the cafe ever since and had come to know the owners well.
“Anything else, B?” Miko asked. He was the son of the owner, barely eighteen but already raring to take over.
“Nothing at the moment, thanks. I’m waiting for someone.”
“Okay. Give a yell when you do.”
“Will do.”
Miko wandered off, and Beck immediately transferred his gaze back to the window, stomach somersaulting as his gaze scanned the street for the face he couldn’t wait to see. And when that face appeared, his entire body locked into place. He barely remembered to breathe.
There was nothing plain about Kole. Despite his skin being a tattooist’s dream—because there was so much skin to ink memories into—Beck couldn’t imagine anything making the man more gorgeous than he already was. He loved ink on a person, but Kole was magnetic without it. Would he be just as alluring with patterns of black or splashes of colour? He might have to do some temporary inking to find out.
“Hey,” Kole said, slipping into the seat opposite him.
Beck’s palms dampened against the coffee cup, and he licked his lips. “Hi. Sorry about last night. Alcohol is not always my friend.”
Kole smiled, and Beck’s breath caught. “I don’t mind. I’m glad we could do this.” Kole grabbed a menu. “Do you have any recommendations?”
Beck studied him while his attention was on the plastic sheet. Kole seemed to be favouring one side of his body, and the banked fire in Beck’s stomach simmered a little hotter. “The paninis are good. So are the baguettes. Everything is freshly made to order.”
Kole raised his eyebrows at him. “You come here often?”
Chuckling, Beck relaxed more and sipped his now-cold coffee, grimacing a little. “A time or two.”
“You ready to order now, B?” Miko said, reappearing again.
Kole cleared his throat, and Beck’s cheeks heated as he focused on the server. “I’ll have—”
“A barbecue chicken and bacon melt panini and a coffee?” Miko said. “Yeah, I know.”
Kole chuckled. Beck leaned towards Miko. “If you want to keep customers, I would let them order for themselves.”
“But it’s a sign I know you! Mum said I needed to get to know customers,” Miko said, frowning.
“I think it’s an excellent trait to have,” Kole said. “Might I make a suggestion?” Miko nodded. “If you know their order, just say it without the attitude. It’ll come across much more sincere and respectful.”
Miko tilted his head, then nodded. “Yeah, okay. I can see how that might sound bad. Sorry, B.” Miko stood taller. “Would you like your usual, B? The barbecue chicken and bacon melt panini?”
Beck nodded. “That would be great, thanks.”
“And for you?” Miko turned to Kole.
“I think I’ll try the same. Can I get a glass of water, though, please?”
“Absolutely. It won’t be long.”
Kole gave Miko the thumbs up and the guy wandered off. “A time or two, huh?”
Beck got trapped in Kole’s gaze and found himself beginning to talk. “It wasn’t too bad at first. Drake pretended to be friends with us all. Played up the big brother role, and we loved it. But then he changed. Either something happened or he was always that way and had hidden it, but he became meaner. Upsetting people—except our foster parents—was his favourite pastime. I took on as much of it as I could because the other kids were smaller than me. It wasn’t fair to them.”
Beck looked out of the window again, the street disappearing to be replaced with the memories of the house and the woods…and the bedroom.
“At first, it was little touches that could’ve been considered accidental. But then one day, the Prices were out with the younger kids.” He swallowed. “It was the first and only time I cried,” he whispered. “I never gave him the satisfaction of hearing it again. But I allowed it, time and again, so he wouldn’t turn to the other kids. I wanted them to have happier memories. But he used it against me. He’d threaten to go after them if I didn’t do as he said. When they sent me away, I was so scared for them, but no one would listen. I never heard anything, so I was forever hopeful he hadn’t done anything to anyone else.”
He met Kole’s gaze, and the non-judgemental look settled him.
“I want to say thank you on behalf of all those people you have saved by going to the police. Even if it turns out he has been an asshole for years, you’ve saved countless future victims.”
Beck’s throat closed up, and he couldn’t say anything. He turned his gaze to the window, swallowing convulsively while trying to get his emotions under control. He had thought being out in public would be easier for him. Apparently not.
He wanted to be able to reach for Kole, but his body wouldn’t let him. Touch was something he only thought he needed when he was sleeping with someone, but Kole was a whole other ballgame when it came to Beck’s feelings and needs. He wanted to let go of everything he ever knew, everything his mind was telling him, everything he’d ever learnt for survival, just so he could let Kole into that part of him he hadn’t thought he needed anyone in.
Clearing his throat, he linked his fingers. “The police rang me to say Drake was not leaving jail right now. They are going to investigate his life to see if anything crops up.”
“It’s good that they’re looking into it and not brushing it aside. They might find something that helps their case.”
“I know that would help, but I also hope they don’t. If they do, it means someone got hurt.”
Kole covered his hands with his own. “I know. But the priority now should be getting Drake off the streets.”
Miko arrived with their drinks, causing Kole to pull back, and Beck immediately felt the loss.
“Your food will be here soon.”
“Thanks, Miko,” Beck said.
Silence fell between them as they both played with their cups. At least until Kole pushed his drink aside and leaned forward.
“Look, Beck. I’m going to sound harsh, but life is shit sometimes. I’m not saying what you, or anyone else, went through isn’t terrible. I’m truly not. You couldn’t have stopped Drake from doing anything. But if he has done things, they are going to make him more likely to never be able to do this again.”
When Kole had started talking, Beck’s throat had closed, his insides churning as he thought Kole was showing his true colours. As he continued, Beck wanted to weep. He swallowed hard, trying to let his words sink in. Understanding what Kole was trying to point out was easy, but it still left a sour taste in his mouth. He wouldn’t wish the pain on anyone, even if it meant it would help Drake stay in jail.
“I know what you’re saying, but I still don’t like it.”
“I know. It’s shit,” Kole agreed.
Their food arrived while he was still contemplating Kole’s words, and it gave him the chance to recentre himself and breathe for a few minutes.
They didn’t talk again until their plates were almost empty.
“Are you ever going to tell me why you’re keeping a spce on the back of your neck?” Kole asked before taking another bite.
Beck licked his lips and smirked. “Nope.”
Kole rolled his eyes, pointed at him with his fork and said, “This food is amazing. I’m glad you showed me this place.”
Beck nodded as he finished his mouthful. “It’s the worst kept secret around.” He grinned, feeling decidedly lighter than he had. He opened his mouth to say something else, but his phone interrupted him. Pulling it from his pocket, he frowned at the private number. Usually, he wouldn’t answer, but when the police called him, it said the same—though why they would be calling again, he didn’t know.
“Hello?”
“Mr Cavanagh, it’s Detective Conrad. We’d like you to come to the station. We have some new information that’s come to light.”
“What is it?” He stared at Kole, his stomach doing somersaults.
“I’d prefer to talk in person. There’s no rush, though. Just whenever you can.”
Beck licked his lips. “Okay. I’ll be down shortly.”
“Thank you. See you then.”
The call ended, and Beck stared at the screen. Had they let Drake out? No, surely they would’ve said that on the phone if that was the case. Had he escaped? No, again, he was sure they would’ve told him. What could they need him for? He’d given them everything he had and more. The only thing that was left was his blood and sweat. They already had his tears.
“Are you okay?”
Kole’s words brought Beck back to the present, and he blinked. “Yeah. I think. The police want to see me again. Apparently, they’ve found something.”
“That sounds like good news…in a way.” Kole put his cutlery down. “I can pay for this if you need to go.”
Beck shook his head, scraping his teeth across his lower lip. Did he have the courage to ask? He met Kole’s gaze. “Will you come with me?”
“Of course. But only if you’re sure. I don’t want you to feel like you have to ask me because I’m here.”
Beck let out a long breath. “No. I want you there.” He reached across and rested his hand on top of Kole’s. “I think…I need you there.”
Kole twisted his hand until they were palm to palm. “Then here I’ll be until you no longer need me.”
“I think that’ll be a while,” Beck whispered.
Kole smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “I’m glad to hear it.”
Miko interrupted them before Beck could make even more of a fool of himself. “Would you like anything else?”
Beck pulled back and cleared his throat. “Just the bill, please.”
“Alrighty.” Miko disappeared as quickly as he arrived, returning faster than anyone Beck had ever known. “Here you go.”
Handing him a card, Beck said, “Add a ten-pound tip for yourself.”
Miko’s jaw dropped. “I can’t do that!”
“Yes, you can. Ask your mother.”
Miko glanced over his shoulder at the counter, and Beck grinned when Sofia waved at them. Beck signed the question to her, and she beamed back at him, signing her response to Miko, who turned back to him. “Wow, I didn’t realise that was allowed.”
“As long as you don’t go asking for tips, I think you’re all good.”
“Thank you,” Miko said and signed. “Have a great day.”
When the brisk, cold air filled his lungs, Kole nudged his shoulder. “I didn’t know you could sign.”
“Yeah, I learnt it on the road. One of my clients is deaf, and I wanted them to not have to pay for a translator every time they came to me. It’s amazing how many people you bump into who are deaf that you wouldn’t have been able to talk to otherwise.”
“You’re a man of many talents.” They stopped at Beck’s bike, and Kole’s gaze darted from him to the bike and back again. “I can get the bus or a taxi.”
Beck chuckled. “I have a spare helmet if you’re okay with riding behind me.”
Kole swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing deeply. “Sure.”
He retrieved the helmet, helping Kole to buckle it on before he swung his leg over it and kicked off the stand. The engine roared to life, vibrating through his body and calming him. A similar feeling to how Kole made him feel. He glanced at him and held out his hand. Kole slipped his hand into his, and Beck helped brace him as he climbed onto the back. The warmth seeped into his legs and back immediately, and he exhaled slowly as Kole slid his arms around his waist.
“Ready?” Beck asked.
“Always.”
Despite knowing the bike still made Kole a little uneasy, Beck roared off, delighting in the tightening of Kole’s arms and the slight noise he heard before the wind whipped it away. Beck kept to the speed limit through the streets of London, weaving his way to the police station. The closer they came, the more his stomach churned and his chest ached. What had they found?
It took every ounce of stubbornness to stop the bike in the car park and not carry on until he reached the ocean. Breathing deeply, he turned off the bike, holding it steady while Kole climbed off, and then kicked the stand into place. He gripped his helmet tightly, feeling the sturdiness of it beneath his leather gloves, before locking it and Kole’s to the bike so he didn’t have to carry it.
“I’m here, Beck. Whatever they say, I’m here.”
Beck stared into Kole’s eyes, immediately feeling grounded. He cupped Kole’s jaw, brushing his thumb over his cheek. “I will never understand what I’ve done to deserve you giving me your time,” he whispered.
“You must’ve been a saint in a previous life.”
It took a second for his words to sink in, but then Beck snorted a laugh. “I must’ve been.” He dropped his hand. “Thank you.”
“You’re extremely welcome. The bill is in the post.”
Beck shook his head, unable to stop the smile from spreading across his face. It was so much easier to face the police with Kole by his side. Why had he not done it before? He shoved that down, grabbed Kole’s hand and strode for the doors. His heart skipped a beat when he entered, but he ignored it and stopped at the counter.
“I’m here to see—”
“Mr Cavanagh, this way.”
Beck looked to the side where Detective Haynes stood. Tightening his hand around Kole’s, he led the way. Haynes paused outside a door, glancing at Kole.
“He’s staying,” Beck said before the officer could object.
Haynes hesitated but nodded, opening the door and gesturing for them to enter.
“Give us a couple of minutes,” Haynes said.
The detective closed the door behind them, leaving Beck standing in the centre of a windowless office. Again. Not for long, though.
Conrad entered before Haynes and closed them in again. “It’s good to see you again, Mr Cavanagh.”
“Beck, please.” Conrad nodded. “What is this about?”
“Have a seat. We have a bit of information to share and then a request.”
Beck swallowed and let go of Kole’s hand. They settled into chairs, and he said, “What’s happened?”
Conrad leaned forward, elbows resting on the table. “As I mentioned, we were going to look into Drake Price’s past. Well, we did, and what we found was a trail of people. Some of whom are also willing to testify.”
Beck covered his mouth, staring at Conrad. He wanted to ask who but knew that was confidential. The only other thought that kept going around his head was, “How many?”
Conrad’s expression softened, as much as it could. “Seven.”
“But we think there has been more,” Haynes added.
“Don’t forget, if you tell anyone about this, I’ll find a new playmate. Maybe Rebecca or Sarah. Maybe even Allan, if I’m feeling generous,” Drake sneered, his face too close for Beck to focus on fully.
“I won’t,” Beck said, swallowing the sob that wanted to escape. If that happened, Drake would make things worse.
“Good. Now be a good boy and turn over.”
Beck returned to the room with a shaky inhale to find Kole rubbing his back and a glass of water clasped in his hands that he didn’t remember reaching for.
“How are you doing?” Kole asked.
“Just peachy.” He coupled it with a small smile to show he wasn’t as far gone as they probably thought he was. “How did you find so many so fast?”
“He wasn’t quiet about his conquests.”
“You said there was also a request.”
Conrad nodded slowly. “Obviously, everyone’s details are confidential, but one of the women has asked if you will meet with her.”
Beck frowned. “Why?”
“She knows you.”
He tried to think who it could be, and horror flooded his veins. “Who?” he croaked.
“Rebecca Straith.”
Beck dropped his head into his hands. Rebecca. He didn’t recognise the surname, but if it was who he thought it was, he hadn’t been able to protect her at all. Everything he had done was to keep them safe from Drake, but there was one part of his story he hadn’t wanted to think too much about—when he was told to leave. Because that meant there was no one to protect the other kids once he was gone. And it seemed that Drake might’ve focused on Rebecca.
“Yes. I’ll meet her.”
“She’s willing to come in today to see you if that’s okay?”
Beck exhaled. “Does it have to be here?”
Conrad shook their head. “No. I thought it might be easier here, but you’re welcome to meet up anywhere. I just had to get permission from you beforehand.”
“It won’t mess up our testimonies if we talk before the trial?”
“We have your testimonies already on file and recorded, so we will be fine.” Conrad handed him a piece of paper. “This is Rebecca’s phone number.”
He stared at the scribble, wondering if he was doing the right thing. Would it hurt or help each other if they met up and talked about the past?
****