8
“How long do I last doing what?” I asked.
He gave me a flat look.
“Oh,” I said, my cheeks burning. “Right. Well.” I went to shove my hands into my pockets but realised too late I didn’t have any, so I had just slid my hands against my body in a weird way that Nick would probably think was my attempt at being sexy. “I think I last a normal amount.”
“What do you consider ‘normal’?”
“I don’t know. Just normal.”
“Show me,” he said.
“What?”
“I said, show me.” He pointed at the bed.
I stared. “Right now?”
“Obviously.”
“What do you mean, obviously?” I demanded. “You’re asking me to whip my wiener out and—”
“Lesson one for today,” Nick cut in. “Never refer to your cock as a wiener.” He took a step towards me and shoved me backwards—hard, not enough to hurt, but enough to take me by surprise and make me stumble backwards. I landed on the edge of the bed with a gasp. “Lesson two: when I tell you to do something, do it.” He stalked towards me and kicked my feet so my legs were spread. “Lesson three: I know this won’t be easy, but you’ll be just as nervous whipping it out with a girl.”
“I won’t,” I protested, “because the girl won’t be staring at me like some kind of exam invigilator.”
Nick raised a brow. “Won’t she?”
That hung in the air, and I had to admit he had a point.
“Well,” I started, “I won’t feel as weirded out because I’ll be aroused.”
“Want me to take my shirt off?” he asked.
My brows shot up. “Uh, if you want to, go ahead.”
Nick stared at me for a long moment. “That was a joke,” he said. “Don’t know if you’ve realised, but,” he gestured at his chest, “I don’t have a pair of tits to get you all excited.”
My face grew even hotter. “Right. I knew that. I totally knew that.”
He looked amused for a moment, but then his down-to-business expression returned. “Hurry up and start jerking yourself off.”
I gulped, then lowered my hands to unzip my jeans. My hands shook as I took my dick out. I was soft.
Nick raised a brow at me.
I wrapped my hand around myself and started stroking. It was an easy enough motion—instinctive, even—but I found myself second-guessing my technique under Nick’s critical eye. Was my grip hard enough? Was I going fast enough? Usually, I focused my attention on the tip since that was the most sensitive spot, but I wondered whether I should try new things—try stroking the base or tugging at my balls.
I shook those thoughts away. No. Don’t get carried away. Focus on what you know.
I fixed my gaze on a spot on the carpet, trying to let my imagination take me away, but I still felt Nick’s gaze on me.
I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block him out, and imagined a pair of nice tits. Bouncy and soft, with pretty pink nipples—
I don’t have a pair of tits to get you all excited. In my mind, Nick peeled his shirt off. I knew what he had underneath there. I knew the colour and shape of his pecs, with those light brown areolas and nipples which would stiffen in cool air—
Jesus Christ. What the hell was I thinking about? Focus, Hayden.
To my relief, I felt myself growing hard. I opened my eyes to check out my handy work but made the mistake of glancing up to look at Nick. He was watching me with his usual expressionless face.
If anything, he could’ve looked almost… bored. Except for the way his eyes had zeroed in on my erection like he’d vowed not to miss a single detail.
I stared back at him for a long moment, frozen in time. Then, I glanced at my lap, thinking I would’ve started to wilt. But no—my cock was poking up, rigid and obscene and exposed.
“You’ve been wanking forever,” Nick murmured. “And you still haven’t finished. Seems like you last a long time.”
I didn’t want to argue with a compliment, but—
“It doesn’t usually take me this long. This is a weird situation. Usually I have visual stimulation.”
“You can look at something if it’ll help,” Nick said.
“Like what?” I asked. Take off your shirt , my mind supplied. Let me stare at your body again—
“Porn,” Nick said. “You can pull it up on your phone.”
I considered it. “I’m okay,” I said. Watching porn while wanking in front of Nick would feel even weirder than whatever it was we were already doing. It would also feel… rude. Like I was ignoring him.
“Well, you’re not going to finish any time soon.” For the first time, he looked away from me. He paced a few steps around my room, thinking. I took the opportunity to glance at his pants—I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t help myself—and found no sign of a straining bulge, which was both disappointing and insulting. Hadn’t he been even a little aroused watching me?
“Alright,” Nick said, waving a hand at my dick. “Put that away and get out your computer.”
“What?”
“Just do it,” he said.
I tucked myself back in my pants, then grabbed my laptop. Nick sat beside me on the bed, and my stomach did a little flip.
“What do you want me to do?” I asked after turning my computer on.
“Go on the internet,” he said, “and search up ‘male sex toy’.”
“Why—”
“Just do it.”
“Has anyone ever told you that you’re really bossy?”
He gave me his usual flat look, but now he was close enough that I could see each of his individual eyelashes.
I quickly turned my attention back to the computer and did as he asked. Immediately, several adult store websites appeared. Nick leaned over, his shoulder brushing mine, and took control of the touchpad. He clicked on the first link, navigated past the several listings of dildos and massagers, and landed on a page for a Fleshlight.
“Buy this,” he said. “It’ll feel better than your hand, and you can practise lasting a long time with it. It’s not that expensive, and it says if you buy now, it’ll be delivered by tomorrow.”
“Just to clarify, you want me to buy a fake vagina so I can practise lasting a long time.”
“Yeah. I think it’s a pretty good idea.” When I didn’t say anything, he continued, “Don’t act like it’s weird. If it really bothers you, you can get one that looks less like a vulva and more like a tube.” At my expression, his brow creased. “What?”
I moved my computer to his lap, stood up, and opened my closet. After digging through the back for several minutes, I emerged with my pride and shame.
“What is that?” Nick asked.
I unscrewed the top and showed him the interior—the transparent silicone, with the hole at the end. The ones that looked like body parts had weirded me out. “It’s a Fleshlight toy,” I said.
“You have one already?”
“I’m a nineteen-year-old with a raging sex drive and no partner. Of course, I have one. Don’t you?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer. “No, of course you don’t. I forgot that you’re drowning in girls.”
He walked over and took the toy from me, inspecting it. “It’s not that I don’t want one. Sometimes it’s tiring to use my hand. I’d buy one if I could afford it.”
“Didn’t you just tell me that it’s not that expensive?”
“For you,” he said, eyes still on the toy. “You live in a luxury apartment. Of course, you can afford it.”
I thought about arguing but let it go. The toy had been fairly expensive, but I figured it was worth it since it’d last a long time and I’d use it regularly.
He handed the toy back to me. “How long do you last using this?” he asked.
I fought the urge to fidget. “Not that long,” I said in a small voice. “In my defence, it feels really good. I lube it up, and it gets warm with time... ”
Nick’s gaze fell on the toy. He looked at it with such longing that I thought about offering to let him borrow it until I realised how weird that would be, even though it was possible to completely disinfect the toy.
“Alright,” he said after a beat. “Show me.”
“Show you?”
“Yes. Show me. Let’s see how long you can last with it.”
“I’m going to embarrass myself.”
“I won’t judge you.” His eyes were steady on mine.
I glanced away, feeling weird. “Okay.” I gestured at the bed. “So do I just…”
“Go ahead. Get yourself comfortable, and do it the way you usually do it.” Nick walked over to the desk, pulled out the chair, and sat on it. He crossed one leg over the other, with a face so serious, it made me feel like I was at a job interview.
But there was something soft in his expression too. It wasn’t blatantly obvious, but I could tell that he was genuine when he said he wouldn’t judge me.
I believed him. So, I climbed onto the bed and started rearranging my pillows. I thought about explaining what I was doing to Nick, but I didn’t want to sound like I was narrating a YouTube tutorial. Hey guys, welcome to my jerk-off routine. First, I like to nestle my sex toy between two pillows so I can thrust into it hands-free. It’s like you’re really having sex! Subscribe for more tips, and don’t forget to smash that like button, just like I’m going to smash this toy.
After the toy was secure between the pillows, I slicked myself up with the bottle of lube I kept discreetly in my bedside table. Then, I stretched myself over the pillow stack so I was on my hands and knees. I used one hand to guide the tip against the entrance of the toy, then slid inside in one fluid motion.
My stomach clenched at the sensation. Yes, it was a little cold, but it wouldn’t take long for it to warm up and the silicone interior pattern felt so good against me.
Slowly, I started fucking the toy. I was diagonal on the bed, so I wasn’t looking at Nick directly, but I closed my eyes anyway. He was so silent, I almost forgot he was in the room.
I thought this would be weird as hell, and there was a part of me that was still nervous, but the pleasure quickly took over. Besides, there was something… thrilling in the thought of being watched, and not by some weirdo stranger, but by Nick. Handsome, bossy, impatient Nick.
The teacher’s pet side of me wanted to do a good job for him, but another part of me wanted to make him crack. So often he was stone-faced. I thought of his breathlessness after our kisses, the blood rising in his cheeks, his red, swollen lips.
When the hot sensation built up in me, I couldn’t help letting out a small groan. The creak of the desk chair made me flash open my eyes. That was a mistake. Nick was watching me with his usual frown, but his eyes were dark, and his chest was moving up and down with each heavy breath.
We stared at each other for a moment. His throat worked as he swallowed. That’s when I came. My vision whited out, and I slumped over the pillow, elbows buckling as the pleasure came over me.
After a minute, I found the strength to slide out of the toy and meet Nick’s eyes. He looked much the same as before, but I sensed he was less composed than usual.
Suddenly, I wanted him to hug me. I didn’t know why, but it felt like a waste that he was all the way over there.
Slowly, I withdrew from the toy and cleaned up with a handful of tissues, then pulled my clothes back on. Nick remained in his chair, but after a while, uncrossed his legs. I thought I saw a tent in his jeans, but it might’ve been a trick of the light.
“Three minutes,” he said.
“Huh?” I tore my gaze away from his crotch.
“You lasted three minutes.”
“Oh.” I wanted to make some sort of excuse, like I was extra horny today, but I knew that would sound like I was making excuses.
“Practise on your own for a bit.”
“Practise?” I echoed. My brain wasn’t working at full capacity, probably because it was preoccupied by everything else that had happened. I’d masturbated and came in front of Nick, which was objectively weird, but it didn’t feel weird. Right now, I didn’t want advice. I wanted…
I didn’t allow myself to finish the thought.
“Practise lasting a long time,” he explained. “But other than that, you did a good job.”
“Thank you,” I said quietly. I wanted something to happen, but I wasn’t sure what. I felt like I was in limbo. I wish he’d step closer to me.
Nick looked at me, then dropped his gaze to my lips and then the rest of my body. I thought he might come closer. I thought he might drop the serious expression. But in the end, he nodded at the door. “Let’s get some food.”
I heated up some leftover stir fry for dinner, and we sat at the table like we always did. We were both quiet. Nick wasn’t talking because he was eating. I wasn’t talking because I was internally freaking out.
Usually, I felt calm after masturbating, but in that moment, I was a confused mess. Half of me wanted to do it again. The other half of me wanted to have a scalding hot shower and wash all the memories away.
“This is tasty,” Nick said, spearing a piece of chicken with his fork.
“My sister made it,” I said.
As Nick chewed, he stared at me. “You okay?”
I startled. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You look like you’re having a terrible case of PNR.”
“PN what?”
There was the barest hint of a smile. “Post-nut regret.”
“I don’t feel regret,” I said quickly. “I’m just feeling a bit… strange.”
Something flickered in his eyes, and he set his cutlery down. “I didn’t make you uncomfortable, did I?”
“No,” I said. “It’s just that... only two people have ever seen my dick, apart from my family when I was a kid and stuff. And you’re one of them.” I scratched the back of my neck. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”
“Your dick’s fine,” Nick said.
His tone was so genuine that I couldn’t help but smile at the pure ridiculousness of it all. “Thank you,” I said with a chuckle. “I didn’t look too weird when I was…?”
“No,” he said, picking up his fork and digging through his food. “You were fine.”
“There’s that word ‘fine’ again. I told you, I want an A plus.”
Nick met my gaze, and I froze. His jaw seemed tighter than before. Had I pissed him off? But I hadn’t said anything bad, had I?
“Maybe,” he began, his voice quiet, “we should stop these lessons.”
“What?” I actually dropped my fork. “But we haven’t finished! I’ve still got so much more to learn.”
“Seeing you every week eats up a lot of my free time.”
“But on the upside, you get a lot of delicious food,” I pointed out. “I can’t force you, but…” I trailed off, not sure what to say.
Nick pushed a piece of capsicum around his plate. “You don’t find this weird? Like, really weird?” he asked.
“No,” I said. “I mean, yeah, you’re always glaring at me, and I know you think I’m a pathetic, clueless idiot, but despite all that, I am comfortable around you.” My cheeks heated. Had that been too earnest? “What I mean is that we’ve already come this far. I’ve gotten used to you and the way you run our lessons. I think it would be a waste if you ended this. Where would I even find a teacher like you?”
Nick looked at me for a long moment. “I don’t think you’re completely pathetic and clueless,” he said eventually.
“Thanks,” I replied, unsure what else to say.