17
On Friday afternoon, Lisa arrived in Melbourne in a cloud of Dior perfume, her arms heavy with shopping bags full of presents for me and Elena. She popped them on the kitchen island. There were coffee beans, spices and cartons of boxed protein shakes, as well as skincare products and clothes she thought Elena and I would like.
“It’s getting warmer, and I found the most gorgeous summer dress for you,” Lisa said, holding it up for Elena.
“I like the clothes I already have.”
“Elena, honey. What are you going to do when a boy asks you out to dinner, and you have nothing to wear except jeans?”
“I have dinner with Atticus all the time, and he finds my jeans perfectly acceptable.”
“I don’t mean Atticus. I mean…” Lisa gave her a meaningful look.
“This hypothetical dinner might not be with a boy,” I felt the need to point out.
“I have no intention of having dinner dates with anyone of any gender. I intend to be a spinster forever,” Elena announced.
“In any case,” Lisa said, holding out the dress, “take it and try it on at least. If you don’t like it, we can return it.
That evening, we went out for dinner at a restaurant that specialised in meals sourced from locally grown foods. Atticus joined us, and predictably, Lisa squeezed him in a hug and complimented how handsome he looked. Her makeover from last year still paid off, and Atticus clearly put thought into his appearance, showing up at the restaurant in a well-fitted button-up shirt, and slacks that showed off his thin legs.
The following morning, Lisa, Elena and I waited outside an old-fashioned hotel. The front doors were made of dark, polished wood, and the windows were printed with gold letters spelling out the hotel name.
“I’m excited,” Lisa said, flashing me a professionally-whitened smile. “This is the first time I’ll be meeting one of your university friends, Hayden. His name is Nick, right?”
“Yep. Nick Dimitriades.” I caught sight of a figure walking towards us. “That’s him now.” I waved at him enthusiastically, almost knocking Elena in the head in the process.
Once Nick stood in front of us, I introduced him to Lisa, who immediately pulled him into a hug. “It’s so lovely to meet you. I’m Lisa, Hayden and Elena’s stepmum. You’re the one studying to be an actuary, aren’t you?”
“Yes,” Nick said, sliding a glance at me.
“Hayden’s told us all about you. Well, he told his father, who told me. You must be very clever.” Lisa checked her wristwatch. “We better get inside. Can’t be late for our reservation. Have you had high tea before, Nick? No? I’m sure you’ll like it. People have been absolutely raving about this place online.”
We walked through the chess-tiled lobby of the grand hotel, passing a winding staircase on the way to the dining hall. It was a large, well-lit room with high ceilings. We were shown to a table in the corner by a large, arched window.
A handsome waiter explained the food and tea they would bring out, and a moment later, two three-tiered silver stands arrived at our table. One was full of savoury food, including little finger sandwiches and arancini. The other was piled with scones, little cupcakes, slices and macarons. Tea was served on china, and there was a little glass jar full of sugar cubes.
“Even the tea cups are luxurious,” Nick commented, holding his cup by its delicate gold-coloured handle.
Lisa beamed at him. “Isn’t this place so nice? It makes me feel like royalty.”
“I’ve never been to high tea before,” Nick said.
“I’ve only been a few times,” Lisa replied. “We live practically in the middle of nowhere, so there’s only a few restaurants around.”
“It’s not the middle of nowhere,” Elena said as she added milk to her English breakfast. “There are tons of caf é s, and there’s the pub and the Chinese place.”
“Okay, there are a few restaurants,” Lisa conceded, “but you can only go to them so many times. It’s only when we travel to Melbourne or another city that I can try all types of food. Do you have any recommendations, Nick?”
“I don’t eat out much,” Nick said, “but I work at a Thai place. The food there’s really good. I have to warn you, it’s not super fancy or anything. Not like this.” He looked up at the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling.
Lisa waved a hand. “That doesn’t matter, good food is good food.”
Nick’s lips curved up in a smile, and some of the tension in my belly loosened.
“I love Thai food,” Lisa continued. “What’s the name? I’d like to go there.” She paused. “Though, I wouldn’t want to visit while you’re working. That would be quite awkward for you.”
Nick shook his head. “It would be fine,” he assured her quickly. “Although, I’m not working this weekend, so if you have time, feel free to go.” He told her the name of the restaurant, and she saved it in her Google Maps app.
We dug into the food on the stands, and it was all delicious. I slathered jam and freshly whipped cream onto the scones, and the finger sandwiches burst with flavour.
Lisa kept the conversation lively, asking about everyone’s studies and complimenting how clever we all were. If it was anyone else, it would’ve sounded like hollow flattery, but it was clear Lisa genuinely meant every word.
“Hayden mentioned you work at a department store?” Nick said.
Lisa nodded. “I do. I’ve been there for, let’s see… almost twenty years now.”
“Wow. That’s a long time.”
“I love it a lot,” Lisa says. “I don’t have brains like you three, never went to university, but helping people with their shopping is its own kind of rewarding. Although, I have been thinking about starting an online course.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
“What would you study?” Elena said.
“It’s just an idea,” Lisa said. “There are all sorts of things I’m interested in. Psychology, fashion, cosmetology. I don’t want to be the oldest person in the class, though.”
“Who cares?” Elena said.
“I doubt it would matter. You look very young, anyway,” Nick said.
Lisa brightened. “Aw, thank you. You’re too sweet.”
“You’ve figured out how to make Lisa love you,” I stage-whispered to Nick. “Just tell her she looks young.”
Lisa playfully slapped my shoulder. “I work hard for this, you know.”
“Lisa’s the type of crazy who goes on runs at 6 am,” I told Nick, then paused. “Which makes her the same type of crazy as you.”
That led to an animated conversation about jogging and their thoughts about running a half-marathon. Elena and I shared the look of the woefully unathletic and finished off the food.
After brunch, Lisa hooked her arm around Elena’s and announced that they were going to do some shopping and that Nick and I were more than welcome to join. I declined. Lisa took shopping very seriously, and I didn’t enjoy waiting around a clothing store while they tried stuff on.
Nick thanked Lisa for high tea and, with a hint of awkwardness, began to suggest he pay for his share. Lisa shut down the suggestion firmly yet gracefully. She had already paid for it when booking the table, and if Nick didn’t come, it would’ve gone to waste.
After we waved goodbye to Lisa and Elena, we walked towards a tram stop. “Do you want to hang out at mine?” I asked.
Nick gave me a sideways glance, but his lips were curled up. “Yeah. That sounds nice.”
The screen said that the tram was delayed, and by the time it arrived, Nick and I had to squeeze through the crowd, finding some space in one corner. I held onto the railing above so I didn’t fall over, but there was no space for Nick to hold onto.
“You could cling on to me,” I said.
It was sort of a joke, sort of not, but he curled a hand around my bicep, holding on as if it was a railing. Someone’s umbrella was digging into my back, but I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Your stepmum’s very nice,” Nick said once we arrived at my apartment. We slumped on the couch together, and I rubbed my stomach, which felt like it was bursting from all the food I’d eaten earlier.
“Yeah, she is. She’s the talkative type.” I thought about it. “She’s probably the most extroverted in our family, now that I think about it.”
“She clearly loves you and Elena.”
“She’s been part of our family for more than half our lives now. I couldn’t ask for a better stepmum. And she makes my dad happy.” I groaned, because I really had eaten too much, and tipped over, my head landing on the top of Nick’s thighs.
He rested a hand on my head, combing his fingers through my hair. My eyelids drifted shut. “When did she marry your dad?” he said.
I counted back in my head. “When I was twelve. But I first met her when I was nine. I liked her from the beginning.”
Nick kept combing my hair. “Do you mind if I ask what happened to your mum?”
I opened my eyes. Nick looked down at me. “I’m sorry if that’s too personal.”
“It’s not that,” I said. “I’m just… surprised that you’re interested.”
“Sometimes I think you think I have no heart.”
“I know you have a heart,” I replied. “But…” I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.
Nick’s hand stilled for a second before he resumed combing my hair. “I know you keep a photo of your mum in your keychain.”
I shrugged, which was a bit difficult when I was lying down. “I got that keychain when I was in high school, when I realised it was getting harder to remember her. I know she was the opposite of Lisa. Quiet. And sad. Though I didn’t really realise that at the time.”
Nick said nothing, letting me continue.
“She was probably depressed. I’ve never talked about it with my family, so I don’t know for sure. But I think she found it exhausting, looking after Elena and me. To be fair, we were annoying kids.”
“All kids are annoying,” Nick said.
“Yeah, but Elena and I were really bad,” I said. “It’s kind of funny to think about since now we’re not rebellious at all. In fact, we’re kind of boring. But back then, we made messes and threw tantrums and screamed in Target when Mum refused to buy the toy we wanted. Elena used to be a super picky eater, which drove Mum crazy. When I started primary school, I didn’t want to go, and I’d cry when she’d drop me off. I’d cling onto her legs, and she’d have to peel me off and hurry away.” I laughed because it was sort of funny. “Anyway, then she got sick of us.”
Nick was staring at me. “And then she left?”
“Yeah. One day she was at home, and the next day she wasn’t. I didn’t really understand, back then. I kept asking to see her. I think it must have been a few weeks later when Dad said she’d moved back to the UK, where her parents are. So basically, she moved to the other side of the planet to get away from us.” I laughed again because it was funny. Kind of. “The funny thing is, after that, Elena and I straightened up real quick. Lisa jokes that when she first met us, she thought we were robots or something, because we were so serious and so well-behaved.” I folded my hands on my stomach. “It’s kind of tragic. If my mum just waited a bit, I would’ve gotten better. Then again, I probably stopped acting like a baby because she left.”
“You weren’t acting like a baby. You were acting like a child.” He winced. “I mean—you were acting your age.”
I gave him a small smile to show that I appreciated him being nice, but he didn’t have to be. “You don’t understand. We were monsters.”
Nick opened his mouth, then seemed to think better of it. “So your mum left because of you and your sister?”
Suddenly, I wished I’d thought more carefully before telling Nick all this because it didn’t paint me in the best light.
“Yeah,” I said.
“But did she say that?” Nick asked.
“She didn’t say anything. She just left.”
“What did your dad say?”
“Oh, he yelled at us and said that Mum had gotten tired of our naughtiness.” I remembered that night. Mum’s things were gone. Elena and I were sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Elena had had her hair in two braids. We were wearing our school uniform, with white socks and black shoes. Dad had still been wearing his work clothes—a button-up shirt and slacks. Elena and I had cried, our faces snotty and gross.
“He did say sorry later,” I said. “I think he felt really guilty.”
“Guilty about blaming you and your sister?”
“Guilty about yelling at us,” I corrected. “My dad’s really scary when he yells.”
Nick looked incredibly sad. I’d never seen him like that before.
“Hey, it’s okay,” I said quickly. “I probably made the story sound more dramatic than it was. It happened ages ago, and now we have Lisa, and to be honest, she’s probably better.” The words spilt out before I could think properly, and I fought the urge to slap a hand over my mouth. I’d never admitted that aloud before. “I mean,” I said, “I love my mum. But Lisa’s always positive. She cheers up the whole family.”
“Sit up,” Nick said.
“Huh?”
He started to pull me up. I was confused, but I went with it.
Then he hugged me.
I was stunned. He was hugging me, and it wasn’t a limp hug either—he squeezed me tight, like he was afraid I’d evaporate if he let go.
“What’s this for?” I asked into his shoulder.
“I’m sorry.”
I pulled back so I could look at him properly. “Don’t feel sorry for me.”
“I don’t.” The sadness in his eyes lingered, though, so I knew he was lying. “Hayden. You know you’re… everything, right?”
“Everything?” I echoed, because I wasn’t sure what that meant.
“You don’t need to change or become… better… to deserve love.” His voice was mumbly and insistent at the same time. “You’re already complete the way you are. I know you have this fixation on becoming the perfect boyfriend and being good at sex and good at dates, but you’re already… you’re already…”
“Okay,” I said because he was tripping over his words, and I wanted to ease his frustration. I got what he was trying to say, and it was sweet of him, but I knew I wasn’t good enough yet.
If I was, he would want me back.