Chapter 19 #2
He pulls me in without hesitating, arms wrapping tight around my waist. “Boys played their hearts out.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Yeah?” His grin softens into something sweeter. I nod, giving him a school-appropriate kiss on the cheek.
“You know,” he says when I pull back, lowering his voice enough that no one around us can hear. “I heard this morning that Jason’s girlfriend dumped him right before the game.”
“Oh, wow. The timing couldn’t have been worse.”
“Right?” Nate agrees, “I’m just glad he ended up pulling it together. I’m damn proud of the kid.”
My smile falters when I remember what I saw before the game.
Alex and Jason in a heated discussion.
Jason pushing Alex.
I don’t want to ruin Nate’s good mood, but he deserves to know if something is going on with his brother. “Um,” I start, flipping through the papers in my hand. “There’s actually something I wanted to tell you.”
He nods, so I continue. “Before the game, I saw Alex and Jason talking, and it got pretty heated…”
Nate’s eyebrows lift, surprise flickering across his face, but it doesn’t wipe away all the light there. “Seriously? What were they doing talking to each other?”
“I don’t know,” I start, but I’m interrupted by the sound of a woman’s high-pitched voice directed toward us.
More specifically, Nate.
“Oh my gosh! Nate!” We both turn to face her.
She’s around my age, in a Rosehill Cheer hoodie and leggings. She has curled blonde hair and glossy lips, and probably the whitest teeth ever.
The way she lights up when she sees Nate makes my stomach drop.
The way she throws herself into his arms is a knife to the heart.
Nate blinks, surprise flashing across his face, but he’s stiff, not hugging her back. “Savannah.”
I try not to let how I feel about that name show on my face.
She pulls back, oblivious to his reaction. “First day back and I’m already running into you, how exciting! I’ll be taking over the cheer team while Jenna is off on maternity leave.”
He nods, pulling out of her hold, then glances at me with an apologetic expression. “Savannah, this is Iris. My girlfriend.” The firm words wrap around me like a warm blanket.
“Oh! Hi,” she says, too bright, finally looking at me. When she does, she tilts her head, studying me, and something shifts in her expression.
“You look… really familiar. Did you go here?”
And just like that, with a few careless words, I can no longer breathe.
My clothes feel tight, as I’m suddenly aware of every inch of my body, what feels right, what feels wrong.
If I pass.
Can Nate tell there’s something wrong with me?
Is it too hot in here?
Nate jumps in when I don’t answer. “Nah, she ain’t from here,” his hand brushes my back, like he can see how uncomfortable I am.
If only he knew why.
“Iris moved here this year. She’s the new art teacher.”
Savannah keeps looking at me, assessing, despite the fake smile. “Huh,” she draws the word out. “Guess you have one of those faces.”
“Guess so,” I force out, attempting to sound normal, but I know I don’t.
Finished with me, she turns back to Nate.
“Anyway, it was really good to see you,” she says, slipping back into her weird ‘talking to Nate’ tone. “Maybe we can catch up sometime.”
“Probably not,” he says, staying firm.
“We’ll see. It was nice to meet you, Iris.”
“You too,” I whisper, but before I can get it all out, she turns and walks away down the hall, her stupidly perfect hair bouncing, as if nothing had happened at all.
The moment she’s out of sight, the silence is deafening.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” Nate says, his brightness from earlier diminished. “Didn’t know she was gonna be showing up here.”
“You don’t have to apologize. It just… it caught me off guard, is all.” I look down, but he closes the space between us.
His fingers find my chin, tilting my face back up. “Hey, you’re the one I’m with, and I’m damn proud of it. That ain’t gonna change cause we have to see her now and then.”
My throat burns, but I nod, “I believe you.”
I wish that were the truth.
I’m at the school later than usual, hunched over a pile of assignments I haven’t graded yet, determined to finish before winter break.
I’m almost finished when the door creaks open. I look up, expecting to see Layla coming to drag me to our dinner plans.
The last thing I’m expecting to see is Savannah standing in the doorway.
She looks as perfect as every other time I’ve seen her this week, but I’ve been trying to ignore the jealousy that churns in my gut at the sight of her.
Nate is with me.
He’s happy.
At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.
“Hey,” she says, her voice coming out sickly sweet. “Got a sec?”
“Um, sure.”
She steps inside, her crisp white sneakers quiet on the tile as she makes her way over to me and sets a book on my desk.
A Rosehill yearbook from a few years before I graduated.
My heart sinks.
“I knew I recognized you. It was driving me crazy.”
My pulse pounds in my ears as she opens the yearbook slowly, like she wants to draw this out. When she reaches the freshman class, her manicured finger taps the page. An old name, printed neat under a photo of someone who no longer exists.
Kavi Patel.
Savannah tilts her head, a smirk playing on her lips. “Didn’t think Nate would go for someone like you.”
My brain comes back online at the mention of Nate.
“Please,” I whisper, my voice cracking. “Don’t.”
Her eyes shine with cruel amusement. “Aw, sweetie,” she coos, “He doesn’t know, does he?”
I don’t say anything, but that’s enough of an answer for her.
“God, he doesn’t. Poor Nate. Thinking he’s found himself a pretty little art teacher, and it turns out she’s just—” She looks at me, pointed, cutting through my skin.
“A man playing dress-up.”
Tears spring up hot before I can stop them.
I’ve never been talked to like this.
I’ve always passed, being naturally thin and only on the tall side for a girl. It’s always been in the back of my mind, a what-if, and I’ve tried to prepare myself for someone saying things like this to me, but the truth is, I’m not.
Not when it’s actually happening.
When it’s threatening to ruin the life I’ve started to build here.
“Please,” I choke out. “Please, Savannah, don’t tell him. Please.”
“I’m not the villain here, Iris.” She leans closer, until her perfume almost chokes me. “I want what’s best for him.”
I shake my head, wiping tears from my cheeks.
“I mean, seriously?” she continues, “You think you deserve him? To lie to him? Let him kiss you, touch you—” She cuts herself off, shaking her head in disgust.
“I’m not lying to him.”
Her laugh is cruel. “You are, and you know it. Do you think he would actually want you if he knew? He would hate you.”
Tears burn hot trails down my cheeks, partly because I know she’s right.
“Don’t tell him,” I sob, “Please, Savannah. I’ll do anything.”
“All I want is for you to do the right thing. Break up with him.”
My head jerks up at that.
“Walk away,” she says, her voice ice cold. “Or I’ll make sure everyone in Rosehill knows exactly what you are. And when that happens, you won’t just lose Nate. You’ll lose everything.”
I shake my head, my heart feeling like it’s being ripped in half. “But—” I stutter, “I- I love him.” I haven’t even come to the conclusion myself yet, but faced with this, I know it’s the truth.
I love Nate Wesley, and I’m going to lose him.
“You’re fooling yourself if you think he’d still want you. Nate doesn’t want this.” She gestures in my direction. “He wants a real woman.”
I can’t speak. I can’t move. I’m frozen in place while she takes my happiness and rips it apart.
She watches me for a moment longer, like she’s waiting for me to crumble completely, but when I don’t say anything else, she turns and walks away, leaving the yearbook on my desk, open on the photo that will take everything.
I press a trembling hand to my chest, but it does nothing to steady the panic and nausea clawing up my throat, her words on repeat in my head as I break down in the empty room.
Nate doesn’t want this.
He wants a real woman.
He would hate you.
I’ve been sitting at my desk, staring at my freshman photo for who knows how long. Everything is starting to feel blurred, distant, like nothing is real.
The door opens again, and my stomach drops, thinking Savannah decided to come back, but when I look up, it’s only Layla.
She steps inside, brows furrowing when she sees the state that I’m in, but I can’t bring myself to hide.
“Iris?” She crosses the room, setting her purse on a desk as she approaches me. “Hey, what happened?”
I shake my head, unable to respond.
“We were supposed to get dinner,” she reminds me, trying to coax me back into the world.
I look up at her from where she stands over me. It’s Layla. The best friend I’ve ever had. I reach for her hand, holding on like it’s the only thing keeping me from floating away.
“I have to tell you something.”