Chapter 16
Sitting on the couch next to Meadow has opened my eyes. I had no idea she overheard that conversation with my fucking father. He is a vile asshole who would have tried anything to get with her and ruin me. I couldn’t defend her then as I can now, so I told him what I did. He wouldn”t pursue her if he thought she meant nothing to me. The sick fuck fell for my lies, but at what cost? That night, my heart ripped in two when I couldn’t get ahold of her. I thought my father didn’t buy my lies and had taken her somewhere. Those twenty-four hours were hell for me until I got a message saying we were over. I didn’t even get the message from Meadow. I had heard it from a mutual friend.
If I had known Meadow overheard me, I wouldn’t have said anything that night or let her know my plan. Realizing we have been silent for a while, I say, “I am so sorry. I wish we could have talked. I had only said the things I did because it was officially your eighteenth birthday, which meant that you were the right age for him, in my father”s eyes. He tends to like his women young but not young enough to get him into trouble. Even though you were with three men, he didn’t give a shit. Honestly, probably still doesn’t, but that’s a whole other story. He saw you as a problem; he thought you would distract me from learning the ropes to take over, so in his mind, taking you from us would fix all his problems. I had to tell him those lies, so he wouldn’t go after you. I said those hateful words to protect you.”
I look over at Meadow and notice her face has become a little pale. I wish I could say more to calm her down, but there isn’t anything I can do besides letting her process the news. I can’t believe we missed out on the past four years together because she thought we didn’t love her. The woman sitting next to me is the light of my life; she doesn’t hide from my darkness; she bathes in its glory. I became the monster I am to protect her light. She is my angel, and I will kill and die for her. I wish she knew she owns my soul, every fucking part of it. I was a living zombie the years she was gone, and since she”s been back, I finally feel whole again, and our family feels whole again. Something had always been missing in our dynamic, and she was that missing piece.
“I feel like life fucked us over all those years ago. I am glad I got away, but not how I did it. Everything is so messed up. How do we start over? I want this, but there has been so much damage from our past that it may cloud our future,” Meadow quietly asks.
“I am not sure, honestly. I want to move on, but I understand if you don’t want that right now. This is a lot to take in, and all the wounds are fresh; I am just letting you know that if you walk away, I will never stop trying to bring you back. You aren’t getting rid of me that easily.” I shoot her a winning smile, trying to ease the tension. I lightly punch her in the leg, causing her to laugh. Every time I hear that laugh, my chest seizes up. The last thing I want is for her to leave, but I can’t force her to stay, no matter how much my protective instincts are telling me to lock her inside the house.
“I don’t want to be around Aidan. I can’t stand the sight of him. I want to kick him in the balls every time I see him. But as for you and Phoenix, I don’t know. I want to be with you two more than anything, but I know Aidan is a deal breaker for you. I don’t want to make you choose between us, but I don’t know what else to do. I know why you did what you did those years ago now, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less. So I will let you decide what you want, and the same with Phoenix. I will not be the one to choose; if you ask me to choose, I will pick myself every time. I can’t lose who I am, not again. I worked hard to be the woman I am today; no man will ever change that. Do you understand?” Meadow tells me.
I nod my head. There is no choice; it’s her, it has always been Meadow. without her, there wouldn’t have been an Aidan and me. She is the one who pushed us together. I think it’s time I pick her. Aidan will understand. He is family, he saw my heartbreak when she left, and he saw how stressed I was when I thought my father had taken her. He held me when I cried over the loss of her, thinking she didn’t love us, didn’t love me. It’s time to put her first, as she left because of me, of my words.
“I need you to listen because I am only saying this once. You are the love of my life. I will pick you every time. I am sorry I broke your heart all those years ago. I will do everything I can to fix this. I will earn your trust back; my life is yours. I will live for you, and I will die for you. You are a queen, and I am your humble servant. I love you, Meadow. So please, can you just come over here and kiss me,” I beg.
She gets up faster than I have ever seen her move, except when I bought her a book bouquet with her favorite authors and chocolate. She tackles me and kisses me so hard I think I will have bruised lips. Wrapping my hands around her waist, I pull her closer until there is no space between our bodies and kiss the ever-loving fuck out of my girl. I want to bask in this feeling forever, but I know we have to separate, but fuck, my girl is in my arms for good this time. She is never escaping me, not anymore. No more running or hiding. If she wants to fucking pout, she can do it in her room. I don”t give a fuck. I am done letting her walk away.
I pull away and tell her we need to discuss Aidan. Even though she doesn’t want to see him, he will be home soon. I had told him to come back, but that was before she asked me to choose. I don’t want him living somewhere else, not with our line of work, so we need to discuss boundaries. He is family, but he fucked up, and he has to pay for that. I get he has a shitty past, we all do, but that doesn’t give him the right to treat Meadow like shit when all she was trying to do was get closer to him. Fucking asshole deserves everything coming to him; he almost caused Meadow to run again.
Meadow looks over at me, and her entire body tenses. I watch as she straightens her body and rolls her shoulders back like she is about to fight someone. Which, I feel, may happen. “I know you don’t want him and don’t want to be near him, but he has to stay here because of our work. He is still my brother. I don’t know what you want to do about that,” I tell her.
Meadow looks at me and nods her head. I can see her opening and closing her mouth, thinking of what to say. A minute goes by, and then I hear her respond, “He can stay. This is his house and, as much as it pains me, I understand where you are coming from. I will not speak with him in any capacity, though. When I go back to work, I will not talk with him. All correspondence required from me is sent to you. He hurt me, and I cannot forgive or forget that. I will act like he doesn’t exist. I understand you and he are together, and I will not break that up. But there is no chance of Aidan and I getting back together.”
Her answer surprises me; my jaw drops open, and I am confused. She had asked me to choose, but now I don’t have to? I just nod yes while closing my mouth, so I don’t look more like a fool than I already do. What Meadow said makes sense, and I think that is fair. She doesn’t need to talk to him. This is her house too. She can do what she wants. He fucked up, and he needs to own that shit. I am not giving him a free pass, especially since she already left once because of something we did. I will not let her go again because of Aidan”s idiotic ways.
“Good. Now that this whole thing is settled, I should mention that Aidan will be home soon. I had texted him to come home before I knew you would be here. I am sorry about that,” I told her, and Meadow’s face turns ashen, the color instantly draining. Suddenly, she stands and starts walking toward the stairs. Well, I guess this conversation is officially over. I assume she is headed to her room or maybe talk to Phoenix, but I think he is in the gym right now. I am not quite sure, though. We haven’t spoken much since we watched Meadow drive away.