20. Zane
Zane
After what can only be described as a dinner date from hell, where I not only gave into my baser instincts but watched the man I lo?—
Like.
Watched the man I like make out with the girl who is insufferably frustrating, the only logical next step is to fuck off. I’d buy booze, but then I wouldn’t dare drive home. Sleeping on the beach sounds miserable.
But not as miserable as admitting that I’m jealous every time Kane touches Mercy.
Groaning, I lie back on the sand and blow cigarette smoke towards the stars. They twinkle overhead without a care in the world, mocking me for my problems. The older I get, the more I seem to have. Such bullshit.
My phone pings, and I’d ignore it if I weren’t so strung out for my best friend. Pinching my cigarette between my lips, I hold my phone over my face and squint at the screen.
KANE
Hey, check the cams
Sam’s gonna fuck her
If he can get it up
(Devil emoji)
Frowning, I close my messages and hold my thumb over the surveillance app.
I don’t think I want to watch Mercy being dicked down, but part of me is curious.
Another part knows that Kane is watching, and that’s enough for my cock to warm.
Blowing out a breath, I tap the icon and stare at the video feed.
Mercy’s voice, breathless and begging, fills the air.
My dick stands at full attention. I don’t even turn down the volume; I turn that shit up , gluing my eyes to the screen as Sam and Mercy tangle in the bedsheets. Except neither of them are moving, and then I hear the softest, most broken whisper of my life.
“Don’t you love me?”
“Fuuuuck me,” I groan, raking my hand through my hair. Sam’s got it just as bad as me. Our situations suck. Although, being sweaty and naked with Kane would be leagues better than cold and alone on the beach in November. Even then, I don’t know if I could go through with it.
Judging by how hard Sam is clenching every single muscle in his body, he may have the same dilemma.
We don’t just want sex—we want love, too.
I see the truth clear as day, and my heart goes out to the man.
My phone chimes again.
KANE
Fucking hell, he’s a goner. There goes her sweet cherry.
Keep watching
KANE
You don’t think he’ll do it?
Fucking pussy
I’d shove my dick so deep?—
I stop reading and toss my phone into the sand.
Kane’s always been a sexual man. Hearing about his exploits comes with best friend / foster brother territory.
I was there when he lost his virginity, and I’ve been here ever since.
He’s toned down on talking about his sexcapades over the past few years, but with Mercy, it’s like the filter’s been removed.
He can’t wait to bury himself inside of her.
And I can’t stop picturing it.
What I have instead of that explicit fantasy, however, is a live video of Sam not fucking Mercy. I wipe off the sand from my phone and open the video, unable to believe my eyes. He’s not gonna do it.
Mercy’s virginity lives to see another day.
KANE
Would you do it?
I stare at Kane’s text message. What kind of a question is that?
No
But I’m not pining after her like Lover Boy
KANE
You might enjoy it
Even if you don’t like her
I never said I didn’t like her
I also never said that I did. She’s a complication that’s twisting my heart and my head into knots. I don’t know how to feel about her.
KANE
You seemed to like kissing her
You were rock hard
Frowning, I check my dick and confirm that it’s still, surprisingly, hard as hell. I bite my lip and type out a message, hitting send before I can delete.
Still am.
KANE
That’s hot
Send a pic?
My cheeks burn. Why the hell would he want to see my dick?
You’ve seen it before
KANE
Not like this
Don’t make me beg
I huff, a laugh catching in my chest.
ME
You, beg?
I’ll never see it
KANE
Please
My heart skips a beat.
I like it when you let loose
I want to see it
A picture arrives, but it’s terrible quality.
The flash is just bright enough for me to make out a POV shot of Kane’s lower half, his jeans undone and his swollen cock peeking through his open zipper.
The tip shines like it’s wet, but the rest is a mystery.
He’s outside somewhere, casually taking his dick out to snap a pic.
Unbelievable.
But it makes me sweat.
My cigarette falls from my lips and disappears, long forgotten as I rub my cock over my jeans.
Pleasure shoots down my spine. Fuck, I haven’t jerked off in months.
My balls ache. Quickly glancing around to make sure I’m alone, I undo my pants and heave a sigh of relief.
Mr. Morningstar’s got shit taste, and his clothes are uncomfortable as hell. I shouldn’t jerk off in them, but?—
I can’t help it when I’m staring at Kane’s dick.
Grabbing my shaft, I tentatively stroke up, gasping as electricity rumbles like rain down to my toes. They curl as I stroke again and again, the sigh passing my lips curving into a moan.
My phone vibrates on my chest, and I pause everything to open my texts.
KANE
You’re touching yourself
Aren’t you
Please let me watch
I’m contemplating what to do when another barrage of messages comes through.
KANE
Fuck
Gotta go
See u at home
Don’t cum without me
The whine that leaves my lips is as pathetic as I feel when I shove my dick back into my pants.
Telling me not to come without him is ridiculous, but what’s worse is that I actually listen!
I pull my knees up and light another cigarette, glaring at the waves rolling across the shore.
“That’s fucked up,” I tell myself, rubbing my forehead. “ You’re fucked up.”
I came to terms with having a crush on Kane a decade ago. What I didn’t anticipate was that crush never going away. It deepened, burning hotter and harder until all of a sudden, I was in love with a man who wouldn’t love me back.
It’s not that Kane couldn’t. It’s that he won’t give up his lifestyle to go steady. Monogamy isn’t exactly his thing, and neither is commitment. It’s a miracle that he’s stuck around with me for as long as he has.
Especially when I love the fucking bastard.
I try to keep it under wraps. I really do. Half the time, I’m convinced that I’m not in love at all—I’m merely Kane’s keeper, ensuring that he stays out of prison and in my life.
But the other half of the time, it fucking hurts to see him with women like Mercy. That’s why I need her out of the picture. Everything would be so much better if Kane would hurry up and graduate, leave the bitch behind, and run away with me.
Scoffing aloud, I flick ash off the end of my cigarette.
As if happily ever after really exists.
Pulling up the security app, I open Mercy’s bedroom feed to find that Sam’s gone. Mercy is curled up with her pillow, probably sleeping off the disappointment. I pinch my cigarette between my teeth, knowing exactly what that kind of disappointment feels like. She’s in for a long night.
I frown at my dick as it twitches, eager for some action that’s not fucking happening.
Yeah, I’m in for a long night, too.
People like us don’t have happy endings.