Chapter Twelve
CHAPTER TWELVE
A FRUSTRATED GROAN ECHOES down the hall of the barn where I finish the newly installed indoor wash stall. The old one suffered from age and a poorly designed plumbing system that did nothing but cause issues and random leaks. The amount of secret mold hiding behind the paneling wasn’t surprising when I saw what was happening behind those soft boards. Drilling in the final screw to hold up the mounted plastic shower caddy, I chuckle, hearing another groan of frustration come from the indoor riding arena.
“Sounds like things aren’t going so well in there,” I yell down to Shadow, who’s poking his head out of his stall. He huffs in response before retreating inside.
My curiosity gets the best of me, and I decide to see how things are going. Surely, it can’t be that bad.
Reaching the arena, I lean against the doorframe and watch as Charlie and Lady kick up dirt, hauling ass around three barrels in the shape of a clover. Charlie rounds the center barrel and pushes Lady forward to the opposite end of the arena. Even when they reach their destination, Lady doesn’t slow down until after a few more gallops.
“Sixteen-point-seven seconds!” Charlie’s friend Katy yells from the other end with a stopwatch in her hands. She and Jackson have been here almost every night since we went to the bar almost a week ago. While Katy helps Charlie in her riding endeavors, Jackson usually putzes around. Sometimes he finds me and offers to help with whatever I’m working on. It’s been nice having the extra hands, especially while working on the shower.
Charlie tosses her head back in frustration, covering her face.
“It’s a good number!” Katy all but yells, frustrated herself. This is how it’s been every night: Charlie disappointed in her time, while Katy tries to encourage her but ends up annoyed with her best friend’s need to be perfect.
“That’s slow, Katy. That’s on the high end of a typical time!”
“You’re just getting back into it, Char. You can’t be too hard on yourself,” Jackson says.
“You need to get out of your head,” I call down the arena, and all heads turn toward me.
“Stay out of this, would you?” Charlie rolls her eyes, but the twitch in the corner of her mouth says the opposite.
“Seems like you need a little motivation.” I walk farther inside and approach Lady, rubbing the bridge of her nose along the white mark.
“And what did you have in mind?”
I shrug, looking up at her from under my lashes with a smirk. From the corner of my eye, I can see Katy looking between us, then at Jackson, and then back at us. Her mouth spreads into a wide smile.
“You’re insufferable. Go back to work,” Charlie says, attempting to swat me away from Lady.
Katy cups her mouth to make sure we hear her loud and clear when she says, “Would y’all like us to leave you alone or—”
“What are you talking about?” Charlie whips her head around to glare at Katy.
“Oh, nothing!” Her smirk says it all.
“I have an idea!” Jackson practically jumps out of his seat.
Oh no, I have a bad feeling about this. Katy must have the same feeling by the way she covers her face.
“If you beat sixteen seconds, Xavier has to take you on a date!”
“Jacks!” Katy hisses.
“What?” He shrugs. “It’s not like everyone doesn’t see it.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, ignoring Charlie when she glances down at me, keeping my gaze locked on the dirt floor beneath my feet. “I’m, uh…I’m gonna go check on the shower.”
“Fuck.” I sigh when a piece of barbed wire slices through the glove covering my hand. The end of the large spike nicks my hand, drawing blood to the surface immediately. That wouldn’t happen normally, but these gloves are worn to hell. I’ve meant to get new ones every time I go into town but keep forgetting. Today has not been my day…First, it was waking up to find we were out of coffee, then a flat tire on the truck gave me a late start, and now…this. “What else could go wrong?”
I probably shouldn’t say that so loud. Who knows what is out here waiting for the opportunity to fuck with the rest of my day.
Ripping the glove from my left hand, I toss it through the open truck window before I open the door and dig through the glove compartment for something to cover my hand. The wound isn’t too deep, but it’ll keep bleeding if I don’t do something. I need to get through at least one section before I go back to the house and properly dress it. I hope Charlie and Joseph have already left for town.
Tomorrow is the Blossom Festival, and they’re supposed to be in town to help finish setting up. I know I should join them, but I declined the offer when they invited me. I need some space. I need to clear my head after the last few days. Working on the fence offers me that.
When I left Charlie and her friends in the barn last night, I intended to spend the rest of my night in my room, leaving almost zero chance of running into her again. But it wasn’t enough. I needed to get out of the house. I needed breathing room. That’s how I ended up at the small diner at the edge of town, properly named End of the Line Diner. Joseph has recently started giving me a small stipend for my work around the ranch, which felt wrong at first, like I was taking advantage of him when he was already letting me stay here for free. But it’s nice to go out and buy things for myself and feel a bit more independent.
As I walked into the diner, the waitress, Helen, waved to me from behind the counter and motioned to the corner booth. It was my normal spot on nights like that. Nights when being behind the safety of my bedroom door wasn’t enough. Nights when I couldn’t sleep no matter how hard I tried. Nights when my mind went in endless circles trying to make sense of everything. Helen passed a coffee and breakfast platter in front of me before scurrying back over to the counter to talk to the other patrons.
It has been practically a year since I woke up in the hospital and up until now, I’d held out hope (even if only a small amount) someone, anyone, was out there looking for me. Someone moving heaven and earth to find me and bring me home. But the longer I’m stuck in Bezer, the more I lose faith in the idea. Maybe no one cared I was gone. Maybe I didn’t have any friends or family to care. If someone was coming, they would’ve been here by now…Right?
Was I supposed to stay in Bezer the rest of my life? I’d have to. I’d have no other choice. I didn’t know where I’d go. How was I supposed to live when I didn’t know who I was? Should I move on and make a new life? But what if I woke up one day and miraculously remembered everything? Who is the girl that plagues me? And why can I see her but not remember her? Is she the answer to all of this?
The more questions that ran through my mind, the tighter my chest became as I sat there.
“You okay, darlin’?” Helen asked. It was the same thing she always started with. When I came in, Helen would leave me alone for the most part, almost everyone did around here, but she always made sure my cup was full for however long I was there.
“Y-yeah, thanks, Helen.”
“Wanna talk about it?”
That was a first.
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “Nothing to talk about.”
“Now, I know that’s not true. I get the feeling you have quite the story, but”—she glanced at the door when another customer walked in—“maybe another time.”
Normally, my trips to the diner helped me relax and get out of my head, but it did the opposite last night. Too many things swirling around inside with no idea what to do. This back and forth with Charlie had been going on for a long time, and the longer I’m in Bezer, the more obvious it’s becoming there might be something between us. The thought terrifies me. How am I supposed to jump into something when I don’t know what could be out there waiting for me? There has always been a little voice in the back of my mind and a tug on my heart telling me not to jump in with both feet. But maybe it’s time to test the waters…
The sound of an engine catches my attention, and I see Charlie’s truck making its way through the field. She parks a few yards away and keeps a small distance between us after climbing out of the cab.
“Something I can help you with?”
“I’m sorry.” The words look like they pain her to even say.
“For?”
“What Jackson said last night.”
“Look, Charlie—”
She cuts me off, taking another step closer with a hand raised. “No, I get it. I know I haven’t been the most…agreeable since you got here, but…” She chews on her bottom lip, scraping the toe of her boot across the dirt. “I haven’t been fair to you, Xavier. And I know I can’t expect you to…feel the same way. You don’t even know who you are. Expecting anything from you isn’t fair. I’m sorry.”
“You’re right,” I say, folding my arms over my chest.
Her eyes are immediately drawn to the blood on the ripped piece of cloth I used to cover my left hand. Without warning, she closes the space between us, taking my hand in both of hers to examine the wound. “What happened?” Her touch is soft and delicate around the slice.
“It’s a small cut. I’m fine.” I remove my left hand from her grasp, using my right one to lift her chin and meet my gaze. “Charlie, you’re right. It’s not fair, but it’s not fair for me to lead you on, either.”
“You haven’t.” She places a hand on my chest when I try to argue. “Truly, Xavier…This is on me.”
Hearing her take the full blame for what has transpired between us makes me feel like shit. This is not all on her. While I’ve done a pretty good job maintaining distance between us, especially when I can feel her closing the gap, I’ve slipped from time to time, too. And let’s not forget the billiards game on her birthday…
“Let’s do it,” I say without thinking. God knows if I think about it, I’ll back out. Charlie looks up at me skeptically. Closing my good hand around hers on my chest, I say, “Let’s go on a…date.”
“You don’t seem too sure.”
“No, yeah…Let’s do it. The festival is tomorrow. Why not then?”
Charlie chews on the idea for a moment, longer than I expected her to, but a smile finally crosses her lips. “Okay, if you’re sure.”
I’m not.
I’m not sure about this, but it feels like the right thing to do when she is standing here chastising herself for something that isn’t entirely her fault. I don’t trust myself to respond verbally; instead, I lift the corners of my mouth with a small nod.
The confirmation gives her a little extra pep in her step when she takes two steps back. “Okay, well…” She glances back down at my injured hand. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’m supposed to leave, but—”
“I’m fine, Charlie. I’m about to head back and get something to cover it up. I’ll be fine. It’s not that bad, see?” I flex my left hand and try not to wince at the twinge when my skin tugs against the edges of the slice.
“Okay, if you’re sure...Dad and I are meeting Katy in town to help set up and—” Charlie trips over air on the way back to her truck. She’s nervous. The only other time I’ve seen her nervous was before she got on Lady for the first time, but these are different kinds of nerves. My brow raises, watching as she continues to walk backward, rambling on about God knows what because I stopped listening.
When she’s finally gone, I take a deep breath and scrub my good hand down my face. This is a bad idea, or maybe it’s my nerves kicking in. Either way, it’s not like one date means we’re walking down the aisle. It doesn’t mean we have to kiss. We’re only spending time together and getting to know each other better. Nothing more. Nothing less.