Chapter Thirteen
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
EVERYONE IN TOWN MUST be at this festival. There’s barely enough room to breathe, let alone walk in any general direction. There’s been a constant tightness in my throat, a constriction around my heart, from the moment we walked up Main Street and saw the crowd. This whole thing is overwhelming, to say the least. I blindly follow Charlie, her hand gripping mine to keep from getting lost in the crowd, and I can’t help but notice how her hand feels in mine. It’s soft—almost too soft—for someone who does more manual labor than the average woman. Her fingers grip mine a little too tight, making up for the gaps between our linked appendages because of how skinny hers are. Every so often, she tosses a smile my way, and I do my best to reciprocate it, hoping she can’t tell I’m not present at the moment.
I could barely sleep last night, that’s saying something considering I don’t get much sleep as it is, and it wasn’t only due to the nerves about my impending day with Charlie.
When I returned from working on the fence, I expected to find Joseph’s truck parked beside the house, but it was still missing. I sent a silent prayer of thanks up to the heavens. That meant he and Charlie were still in town and I had some uninterrupted time to decompress. The thought of running to the diner for dinner crossed my mind because having to cook sounded terrible after working in the field all day, but first, I needed a shower. About halfway through my shower, I decided I definitely wouldn’t be cooking, especially when the slice across my palm began to throb. I had almost forgotten about it until I had to peel the wrap from my skin, where it was sticking to the wound. Okay, maybe it was a little worse than I initially thought, but I didn’t think it needed stitches. It was going to hurt like a bitch for a few days, but I’d survive.
Helen’s face lit up when I walked into the diner, but her eyes immediately dropped to the white bandage wrapped tightly around the middle of my hand. “What happened to you?”
“Fence got the best of me.” I yawned, taking the coffee mug she set on the end of the table.
“Yeah, those fences can be real dicks. Don’t worry, darlin’, I’m sure you’ll get ’im next time.” Helen’s raspy laugh echoed through the almost empty diner as she sauntered away to throw my order on a ticket.
Business at the diner was slow and Helen took the opportunity to sit with me while I ate. While I had come looking for peace and quiet, I appreciated her company. She talked at a fast pace. Sometimes it was hard to keep up with her. She filled me in on some of the latest gossip going around town—I was glad to know I was no longer the town’s only source of entertainment—and told me a little more about herself. She had worked at the diner for the better part of thirty years, something to keep her busy after her kids left the nest. Sometimes working here felt like raising kids, but she enjoyed it, nonetheless. I enjoyed the company and getting to know her. It would be nice to have another person in town I could lean on who wasn’t Danny Sloan or Joseph. While Helen might carry a look of pity in her eyes whenever I first walk in the door, she doesn’t treat me like a Chinadoll.
As I dug through my pocket for the wallet Charlie had gotten me for Christmas, Chief Sloan walked in with Jack Burnes behind him, dressed in uniform. Before they sidled up to the counter, Sloan noticed me. He whispered something to his counterpart before sliding into the opposite side of my booth.
“Somethin’ I can get you Sloan?” Helen asked, returning for my tab.
“Just a coffee for now, and I’ll take it up there.” Sloan pointed up at the counter where Jack glanced through the menu. As if he needed to look.
“Long night ahead?”
“Little bit. Thanks, Helen.”
His answer seemed odd. Bezer rarely saw crime, which is why the town could afford such a small force. For Sloan to have to work a late night made me think something was going on. Shit, was it the festival? My stomach dropped thinking about Joseph and Charlie being there to set up.
Before I could ask what happened, Sloan cleared his throat and said, “I don’t want you to get your hopes up.”
Despite what he said, my hopes skyrocketed. “Did you find something?”
“I said don’t get your hopes up.” Sloan laughed. “But maybe. The sheriff called, and—”
“What did he say?”
“—I think he might have something. Now, Xavier, I don’t want you to get too excited, okay? This could be nothing.”
“But what if it’s something?”
“We’ll cross that bridge if we get there.”
The hope I had been feeling moments earlier deflated a little. It had to. Sloan was right. Whatever news the Sheriff had could be nothing.
“I gotta head out to Fox Grove shortly and talk with him. You’ll be at the festival tomorrow?” Sloan asked, and I nodded. “I’ll let you know if I find anything.”
Even though I tried to maintain a level head about what Sloan had said, I still questioned, What if it turns into something? It could be the answer to everything. It could mean getting to go home . The thought of being one step closer to knowing who I am made me feel like I was floating, only to be brought crashing down when I parked in front of the white farmhouse after dinner. I was supposed to go on a “date” with Charlie the next morning. How could I when I knew I might be leaving soon? It felt wrong to think about canceling when I knew how excited Charlie was, but my hesitation only grew thinking about it.
“Xavier?” Charlie’s voice pulls me from my thoughts of the night before. And when I look down to meet her green eyes, a thought runs through my head. She’s not her .
Who the hell is her ?
“You okay? You spaced out there for a minute.”
More like most of the day.
I nod and say, “Y-yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired, I guess. Didn’t sleep much last night.”
“Me either.” She smiles, squeezing my hand, but she doesn’t realize neither of us got much sleep for entirely different reasons.
Our day together has been fine. I can’t complain too much, it’s been nice getting to know Charlie away from the ranch. Seeing her let loose with her friends and laugh is something she doesn’t do often. She’s too worried about her father and handling the day-to-day work on the ranch. Even though it’s been nice to see this side of her, I can’t decide what’s holding me back from allowing myself to enjoy it. Was it because of what Sloan said last night or because I’m just not interested in her? Either way, I’m not falling for this girl the same way she seems to be for me. And knowing that makes me feel even worse because I’m still not as invested in this as Charlie.
Down on the other side of the festival, the cover band returns to the stage, and after a quick thank you for the warm welcome, they start playing another song. The noise has been a great buffer most of the day, but the song they start with sends my mind spiraling…
I walk through the front door and straight to the kitchen as the same country song plays over the radio speakers. A woman stands at the sink, washing dishes as she hums along to the tune, and the sight of her makes my heart swell. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I press my lips against the warm, tanned skin of her neck. Her head falls back against my shoulder, granting me further access to the column of her throat, and a hum of approval comes from her. With a final kiss, I take her right hand and tug it to my chest, pulling her close to dance with her. I sing along to the song, and she laughs when I twirl her out from my chest before pulling her back in. As the final chorus plays, she wraps her hand around the nape of my neck, her fingers playing with the hair there, and she leans her head against my chest.
I kiss her temple as the song ends, but we still sway together in the middle of the kitchen.
“I miss you,” I whisper against her skin.
“You have no idea.” The woman brings our swaying to a halt and leans back to—
“Earth to Xavier!” Charlie shouts.
I shake my head, pinching the bridge of my nose between my eyes. What the fuck was that? Opening my eyes again, I’m met with expectant green ones. “I’m…I’m sorry, Charlie. I got…distracted for a second.”
“You’ve been distracted all day,” she huffs.
“I know.” I reach for her hand when she tries to walk away. “Charlie, wait, I’m sorry. Really, I am. It’s been a weird day.”
She wants to be mad, and I can’t say I blame her, but the annoyance begins to fall from her features.
With a slight huff, she readjusts her hand to hold my good one, and I do my best not to reject it. I don’t need to start a war right now. Swinging our hands slightly, she says, “I have to get to Lady soon, but I’m dying for a coffee.”
“Let’s get you one,” I say with a small smile, motioning for her to lead the way.
Charlie gets annoyed when I pay for her coffee, saying something along the lines of she “can pay for her own damn coffee,” but I refuse to let her. I’m a gentleman and this is technically a date. She has thirty minutes before she needs to be down at the event tent where the rodeo is set to take place, but she doesn’t want to be too early, so we find a table on the outskirts of the food area.
“How do you like it so far?” Charlie asks, taking a sip of coffee.
“The festival?”
What she means is: how do I like her so far? She disguises the question by talking about the festival instead.
“It’s…fun. I get the appeal. Company isn’t too bad, either.”
“You’re just saying that.” Charlie rolls her eyes.
“No, I’m not.” Okay, maybe a little, but I won’t tell her. I promised her today, so I need to make good on my promise…even if I haven’t been doing a good job of it thus far. “Charlie, I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted. I promise not to let it happen the rest of the day.”
“Everything okay?”
“Everything is—”
“Xavier!” Chief Sloan shouts when he and Doris break through the crowd. “There you are. I was starting to think I wasn’t going to see you.” Sloan whispers something to his wife as they approach the table, and she nods. “Charlie, you mind if I steal him for a minute?”
“Be my guest, Danny. Not like we’re on a date or anything,” Charlie says, lifting her brows briefly before smiling at him.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you company,” Doris says, sitting beside her.
“You’re better company, anyway.”
“Don’t you know it?”
I hear them giggle as I follow Sloan through a small crowd of people and behind the food vendors, giving us a quieter and more private place to talk, away from the prying eyes and listening ears of everyone in the damn city.
“What did the sheriff say?” I ask, earning a sigh from Sloan. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“Xavier, I’m sorry, but there wasn’t anything. It was for someone completely different.”
A swell of emotions floods my entire being, but I bite down on my bottom lip, trying to hold them back. Tears burn the corner of my eyes, but I fight like hell to keep them inside, to keep it all inside.
“I’m so sorry. I was…I really thought this was it, but I guess it just wasn’t your time yet.”
I can’t bring myself to look him in the eye. I’m scared if I do, I’ll finally break. And I have to hold it together until I get back to the house. I can’t allow myself to break when I just promised Charlie I’d be on my A-game the rest of the night. She’s counting on me. But as I stare up into the abyss above us, I wonder if this is some kind of punishment for something I’ve done in the past. Am I doomed to walk the earth day in and day out without a single idea of who I am or where I come from? A single tear slips down my cheek when I ask, “Do you think anyone even cares that I’m gone?”
“Trust me, kid. There are people out there looking for you.”
My gaze falls back to Chief Sloan. Something in his voice strikes a chord in my mind. Why did he say it like that?
“I mean, I have no doubt in my mind about it,” he says, almost like he’s trying to cover his tracks. “How could they not be?” Sloan clears his throat and pats me on the back. “Don’t give up yet, okay?”
I rub the emotion from my eyes, taking a deep breath to try and eliminate the rest of it still clawing its way to the forefront of my mind. “What’s the use? It’s been over a year. If there was someone looking, they probably think I’m dead at this point.”
“Don’t say that. Please don’t give up, Xavier. We’ll keep fighting. We will figure this out.” Sloan grips my shoulder. “It’s going to happen. Might take some more time, but it’s gonna happen. For tonight, enjoy the festival. Who knows, this might be the only time you get to do so.” He smiles before pushing me forward and leading me back toward the girls.
Before the Sloans leave, Doris reminds me about dinner next week. She’ll be making pot roast—my favorite of her homecooked meals—and I wouldn’t miss it. They wish Charlie good luck before disappearing into the crowd. And when they’re gone, I close my eyes and take one final breath. I have to hold my shit together for a little while longer. I can’t let Charlie know something is—
“Is everything okay?” Charlie asks.
“Hmm? Oh yeah, everything is fine.”
“Do you want to leave? I get it if you—”
“No.” I cut her off. “No, I think this is just what I need to take my mind off things.” I stick my hand out toward her. Charlie looks down at it, surprised, but takes it anyway, lacing her bony fingers through mine. “Besides, I can’t miss watching you race.”