Chapter Twenty-Six
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
October 2028
“WHERE ARE YOU COMING from?” Elizabeth asks when I walk through the door. My sister flew into Colorado this morning with her adopted daughter, Brie; Brie’s friend, Blake; and Nick’s cousin, Michaela. They are in town to celebrate our birthdays—mine is tomorrow, Elizabeth’s is two days after—and Halloween. They even talked my brother’s wife, Eileen, into making it a girls’ trip. And while they did so under the guise of wanting to celebrate, I know part of the reason is to check on me after what should have been the fourth wedding anniversary of our vow renewal two years after getting married at a courthouse in New York. Thursday was a hard day, but it was nothing like what I felt on May 18, on what should have been our sixth wedding anniversary.
Eileen arrives tomorrow with my nieces Ophelia and Fallon, just in time for my birthday dinner and Halloween the next day. Ophelia was ecstatic her mother was letting her miss three whole days of school and had called me every day since they made the plans, updating me on her costume, which Eileen was making.
Did I want to spend the next five days entertaining people? No, but I knew it would be good for Elena. They finally sold me on the idea by saying the kids could go trick-or-treating with Brie and Blake in town while the adults went to dinner at the club where Eileen and I could enjoy some kid-free time.
I don’t think Elena likes being in Colorado as much without Nick. I think she feels alone, even with me here and the few friends she has made in preschool. It’s not the same as having her dad here to play with her or her cousins down the street. We’re halfway across the country from the rest of the family, and seeing how it affects her breaks my heart. I don’t want to move back to New York or Winchester—especially Winchester—but if it means doing the best thing for her…I’d do it.
“Oh, I had to run by the station. Talk to Beau,” I say, pulling a water bottle from the fridge.
“You do that a lot?” she asks with a raised brow.
“I check in with him a few times a week.” I shrug. What’s the big deal? Beau has been helping me continue the search for Nick.
Elizabeth sighs, eyes narrowed in thought. She returns to the meal she’s been preparing. Thank God. I was not in the mood to explain my meetings with Beau to her. Or anyone, for that matter.
“Momma!” Elena races into the kitchen and I sweep her into my arms. “Did Uncle Beau send me a present?”
I laugh, ignoring the look Elizabeth gives over her shoulder. “Of course, and he says to tell his Shortie hello.”
Elena squeals with delight as I adjust her to rest on my hip and reach into my purse. I pull out the sucker the sheriff had swiped from the jar on his desk which he kept stocked with blue raspberry suckers specifically for her.
“I will let you hold onto it,” I say, holding it out to her, but not letting go. “But you can’t eat it until after dinner.”
“But, Momma…” Elena groans.
“No, ma’am. You’re not going to spoil your dinner.”
Elizabeth shakes her head, siding with me when Elena tries to persuade her next. “Sorry, Lena. Your momma is right. Besides, I made skillet mac, your favorite.”
“But did you put ’matoes in it?” Elena scrunches her nose in disgust.
“No, I put the tomatoes on the side,” Elizabeth says, shaking her head as she turns off the burner. “Lena, go tell the Bs dinner is done.”
My daughter squirms from my arms and runs in the direction she had come from to gather everyone for dinner.
“So, I have to ask.” Elizabeth leans back against the counter, resting her hands on her swollen belly. Seven months pregnant. She and Michaela are both due in December, meaning this is their last trip away from home for a while, another reason I couldn’t say no to their impromptu trip out west. “What’s going on with you and Beau?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, they closed the case, didn’t they?”
“In a manner of speaking.” The case was presumed closed . It wasn’t officially closed, they hadn’t found a body, but it wasn’t being actively worked on, either.
“So, why are you still running by the station to talk to Beau?” There’s a slight twinkle in her brown eyes when Elizabeth asks the question.
“Am I not allowed to go talk to the sheriff?”
“I didn’t say that,” she says, a slight tug in the corner of her mouth. “You can talk to the sheriff , but you didn’t call him the sheriff. You called him Beau. Not to mention, Elena seems quite fond of him.”
“Elizabeth.” I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Look, I don’t care what you do. I’m just saying you might want to consider how it will look to other people.”
“We’re not doing anything,” I snap, and Elizabeth reels back slightly at the bite in my tone. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath and brace myself against the counter. “Beau has continued looking for Nick when everyone else gave up. I’m alone out here, Elizabeth, and he has been there whenever I need something.”
“You have people out here who would help you.”
“Not anyone who wants to help.” Sympathy seeps from her eyes when I meet her gaze again. “It’s been six months, Elizabeth. Six. Half a year since the last time I saw my husband or heard his voice and it’s fucking killing me. The worst part? I may never know…I may never get the answers about what happened to him. And the only person who hasn’t given up helping me try and figure it out is Beau. Please, do not sit there and tell me to consider how it looks to other people when I honestly don’t give a fuck.”
My sister doesn’t get the chance to respond before my daughter gallops back in with Michaela, Brie, and Blake hot on her trail, all eager to stuff their faces.
I have read his text about thirty times throughout the day. I don’t know why, either. It isn’t anything special—a simple message with no hidden meaning—but it keeps coming to mind. It’s the only one I opened all day, but I haven’t responded. I have left it sitting there until I can decide if I’m going to respond or not. The conversation with Elizabeth last night has been running through my mind nonstop, making my mind spiral. Am I doing something wrong letting Beau help me? Am I supposed to accept that the other officials have given up, and we may never know what happened to Nick? Am I supposed to care what it looks like that Beau and I are still in contact? Or that I called him Beau instead of Sheriff Turner?
After breakfast in bed—a bowl of Lucky Charms, Elena and Nick’s favorite cereal, with a steaming cup of coffee, courtesy of my daughter—I spent the early part of my day in my office, putting out a fire Kai couldn’t seem to control. I offered to help Elena bake a cake before her nap, but she shooed me away because it was supposed to be a surprise. Instead, I went for a hike before coming home to get ready for dinner at my favorite restaurant: Little Bird, located inside the Grand Oak Resort in downtown Haven.
Elena’s cake was my favorite part of the day by far. The cake was vanilla and coated in a heavy amount of pink frosting and a mountain of rainbow sprinkles. Happy Birthday, Momma was written across the top, almost unreadable in her messy handwriting (the use of frosting hadn’t helped her cause). It was a beautiful disaster, and I loved every bit of it. After cake and ice cream, we cuddled in her bed, watching a movie before she passed out.
And now, after slipping out of her room, I plan to hide and try to relax for the remaining three hours of my birthday, joined only by a glass of red wine and a hot bubble bath.
“There’s someone here to see you,” Elizabeth says, opening my bedroom door without knocking.
“Who is it?” I ask, pulling my sweater back over my head.
“Come and find out.” The corner of her mouth ticks upward, and it makes me suspicious. Who in the hell would be showing up at nine o’clock at night? Elizabeth motions for me to follow and starts the trek down the hallway. I roll my eyes but follow her retreating figure to the foyer.
When I turn the corner, my steps falter. “What are you doing here?”
“I meant to stop by earlier, but I got a little tied up at the station,” Beau says, standing inside the door. I glance at Elizabeth, who stands to the side with a knowing smirk. “When Shortie told me she was baking your cake, I figured you might want something with a little less…everything.”
I laugh, taking the personal-sized cake he holds out. “Is this…”
“Red velvet.”
My smile drops, but I quickly replace it, hoping he doesn’t notice.
“You don’t like red velvet?” His warm voice is heavy with concern, worried he messed up, but that’s not it. “Elena said you and Nick—”
“It is…was Nick’s favorite,” I say, swallowing the boulder growing in my throat. When I look back to where Elizabeth should be standing, she’s gone. Of course, when I want her here, she’s gone.
“Oh, Sweetheart.” Beau steps forward. “I’m sorry. I didn’t—I shouldn’t have assumed. I just thought, when she told me—”
“Beau, it’s okay.” I place my hand on his chest to stop his rambling. I feel his heart racing beneath my touch. “I appreciate it more than you know.”
His hand swallows mine, holding it steady against his heart. “I’m sorry he couldn’t be here.”
Beau’s words strike a chord deep inside me. Without warning, my eyes begin to swell. As hard as I try to conceal the tears, I can’t, and they fall down my cheeks. His green eyes widen, and he removes the cake from my hands. He pulls me into his arms. Beau’s embrace is warm and comforting. One hand grasps the back of my neck, his thumb makes small circles on the skin; the other on my lower back holds me close as I cry into his chest. My fingers clutch the fabric of his tan button-up when a hard sob racks through me. He holds me tighter with each one.
“Let it out, Sweetheart,” he whispers against my temple. “I got you. You’re okay.”
“I can’t do this, Beau,” I cry into his shoulder. “I can’t…How am I supposed to—”
“You can do this, Nina.” Beau pulls back slightly to look me in the eye, maintaining his hold on my neck. His thumb continues to trace warming circles on my skin. “You are Davina Villa, and you are the strongest person I’ve ever fucking met.” There’s a soft smile on his lips when he pushes my hair from my face, cradling my cheek. “You can and will get through this.”
There’s a deep ache in my chest, a longing for something I will never know again, something that can never be replaced. All day, I’ve done my best to ignore it, but I can’t anymore. This is the first time I have spent my birthday without him in ten years.
Since our first trip to Haven—when he was pretending to be my boyfriend (but we won’t get into that)—Nick has never missed one of my birthdays. Not even when we agreed to separate for the two years he went back to college. The first year we sat on the phone for hours and talked about everything and nothing. We didn’t get off the phone until well after three in the morning. Before we hung up, he said, “I love you, Dee.” And the second year, I spent my birthday in Boston…with him. No one knows about it except his brother, and I’m surprised Alex has managed to keep it a secret. I was in town for a lecture and couldn’t resist the opportunity to see him. I showed up outside his apartment. I tried to talk myself out of it even though I desperately wanted to see him, and almost did until he found me standing outside…Then it was game over.
A fresh round of tears fills my eyes and my chest tightens. “I don’t want to do this without him, Beau.”
“I know, Sweetheart.” Beau sighs, brushing through my hair and pressing his lips to my forehead. “But you’re not alone. Okay? I’ll be here every step of the way…And your family, they’ll—”
“The family,” I scoff. “I’m the only one still holding on to some kind of hope that we’ll get real closure.”
“I doubt that.” He wipes away another tear before it falls down my cheek, and I lean into his touch. Everything about him is comforting and familiar. It’s the only thing that has brought me any sense of security since I got the phone call from Kai six months ago. “Nina, we are all here for you. You just have to let us in.”