Chapter 5
HOLLAND
The sharp sound blared from the small oval alarm clock on my nightstand.
Sleep had completely eluded me. Every time I closed my eyes, the parking garage replayed in my mind like a nightmare stuck on repeat—the echo of my footsteps, the sudden grip from behind, the gloved hand clamping over my mouth.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of breath against my ear or the twisted thrill in his voice when he whispered, “I would kill, but where’s the thrill in that?
The hunt is what excites me, and there’s something intoxicating about toying with my prey. ”
Instinct screamed at me to bolt back into the hospital, but that was impossible.
Too many people. Too many questions I couldn’t afford.
If anyone dug too deep, they’d find out who I really was—what I’d survived, what I’d done.
I couldn’t risk that. Not here. Not at work.
Better to take my chances in the garage, alone, than let my entire past unravel under fluorescent lights.
The moment I had broken free, I sprinted to my Mercedes in the parking garage. My legs shook as I fumbled with the keys.
Despite the chaos in my mind, fear fueled me, allowing me to start the engine and navigate out of the parking structure, narrowly avoiding an oncoming car.
Five minutes from the hospital, with no signs of pursuit, I pulled over.
My legs were unsteady as I stepped out. A surge of nausea overtook me, twisting my moment of reprieve into fresh panic.
I braced against the side of my Mercedes, caught between gratitude for my escape and the unsettling aftermath that left me tethered to both fear and freedom.
Even now, my skin crawled at the memory.
My heart hadn’t slowed since. I’d barely made it through the front door before locking every deadbolt and slumping to the floor in a shaking heap.
Sleep wasn’t just elusive; it felt impossible.
How could I close my eyes knowing he was still out there, watching, waiting … hunting?
I sat on the edge of my queen-size bed and placed my feet on the floor, forcing myself to believe I was safe as I shut off the alarm. In the past, I’d tried to wake myself up with a gentler tone, but I never heard it if I was in the grips of a night terror.
Inhaling deeply, I tried to clear my thoughts as my attention landed on the collage of picture frames that graced the top of my dresser.
My throat tightened with regret and loneliness as I stared at the only picture I had of a tall, skinny, strawberry-blonde-haired girl.
She had her arm slung over my shoulder, grinning as I glowered at her.
My sister was two years older than I was, but we’d always been close … until.
I swallowed over the lump in my throat, pushing the darkness away and forcing myself to look at the other pictures of a happier time with my parents, college graduation, and fun snapshots of Cami and other friends that I’d made since I’d moved to Portland.
At least I was working from home today on client notes and a few virtual sessions.
Thank God. After last night’s scare, I couldn’t shake what had happened at the hospital.
I was almost certain the man in the garage was the same one I’d seen in the ER, but doubt gnawed at me. Maybe a shower would help calm me.
Forty-five minutes later, I was clean, dressed in a bright teal silk blouse and black slacks, and my makeup was in place. Next on my agenda were two shots of espresso and a cup of coffee with a dash of Snickers-flavored creamer.
“Alexa, play my soft jams playlist,” I said as I entered the kitchen. “Cry Later,” by NateTaylorr and Mellina Tey floated through the air.
As I sipped my espresso, my thoughts kept returning to last night’s events.
Who was that mysterious man who’d materialized out of thin air in the parking garage?
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t shake off my suspicions.
Could it really have been Draco who found me?
If he saw me inside the hospital, then staying here was a risk.
“Keep it together. You’ve figured out how to hide until now. You’ve got this.”
The kitchen was a stark contrast to my scattered and racing thoughts, with its pristine white cabinets, stainless steel appliances, and a row of potted herbs on the windowsill.
I walked over to the refrigerator and pulled out a carton of eggs, contemplating making myself a healthy breakfast to distract myself from the whirlwind of emotions.
But as I cracked the eggs into a bowl, my mind once again drifted back to the hospital parking garage—to the feeling of someone watching me. My instincts were correct, and I had to stop second-guessing myself.
Once my food was ready, I climbed onto the barstool at the bar and tapped the screen of the iPad I kept on the counter. It was time I talked to my bestie and allowed my subconscious to work on the Draco problem.
Autumn’s bright, beaming face appeared on the screen, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled. Before she could speak, her phone bounced around.
“Sorry! I’ve got the baby in my arms.” Her laugh filled the line before she was able to settle into her rocking chair.
“How’s the nanny job going?”
“It’s great. Baxter and Nina are amazing to work for. They treat me like family and spend a lot of time with Krista too. I was worried about that at first, but they’re great parents. It’s kind of crazy that I got this job through Cooper, though.”
Ignoring her comment about Coop, I squinted at the screen, trying to identify what was on Krista’s shirt. “Is that baby puke?” I snickered.
“Yup. Didn’t you know that baby puke is in style this season?” She giggled, smoothing Krista’s blonde fuzz on her head. “She’s gassy and has been crying nonstop most nights. Her mom and I take turns trying to soothe her little belly. We sleep in shifts. Maybe soon Krista will sleep through better.”
“Do you need me to visit? I have some vacation time, and I can be there to help.” My chest ached.
Autumn and I had been best friends since high school, and although it was wonderful to see her on the iPad, I missed her.
At one point, I’d considered moving to Missouri to be closer to her, but something inside me wouldn’t let me leave the Northwest.
“Have you called the pediatrician?” I propped my elbow on the counter, waiting for her to adjust Krista on her shoulder.
“It started a few days ago, but we’re going to call tomorrow.” She patted Krista’s little back, then a big burp floated through my speaker.
I laughed. “I have no idea how such a big burp or fart can come out of such a little body.”
“Right?” Autumn snickered.
“So, one of my coworkers recently got back from maternity leave. Her daughter had colic, and she mentioned there were drops you could put in the bottle to help with the gas. Do you want me to ask what she uses?”
“Oh. My. God. Is there such a thing?” Tears welled in Autumn’s tired gaze.
“Apparently so. Maybe send your boss to pick some up at Target or Walmart, whatever you guys have out there.”
“I’ll call him as soon as we’re done chatting.” She placed a gentle kiss on the baby’s little nose. “I miss you. Tell me how you’re doing. Have you heard anything from Coop?”
I sighed, shoulders slumping with temporary defeat. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t rid that man from my system.
“You know that we’ve gone our separate ways and are doing our own thing. I wouldn’t count on us getting back together.”
Autumn’s forehead creased in concern. “You never told me why you broke things off with him. I mean bits and pieces but not the real reason.”
I swallowed over my suddenly parched throat. “Secrets. It’s always about secrets, isn’t it?” And you have your own. Secrets you can’t ever risk getting out. I bitch-slapped the whisper in my mind and returned my attention to my best friend.
I didn’t miss the troubled expression in her gaze.
“What is it?” My forehead creased. “What do you know?”
She straightened in the rocker as Krista squirmed.
“Why would you think I know anything?”
I crossed my arms before I said, “Don’t play innocent with me, Autumn O’Neill. You forget who you’re talking to. I know you almost as well as I know myself. Now spill.”
“Holland, you can’t tell a soul. Not a fucking word, not even in your sleep. Promise me.” Her lips thinned as she waited for my declaration of silence.
“I swear. Not a word to anyone.” I placed my hand over my heart for emphasis.
“All I know is that Coop came up in conversation a few weeks ago. Baxter was on speaker with his brother and another friend, and they were discussing business for a while. The moment I heard Cooper’s name, the volume was turned down, and then Malaki, Baxter’s brother, closed his office door.
I don’t know what was said, but it wasn’t for my ears.
I think something is going on with Cooper, Holland.
Maybe consider reaching out to him and seeing if he’s okay. ”
“Why would you think he’s gotten into some kind of trouble? My guess is that his gambling finally caught up to him.” Before she could respond, I pressed my lips into a thin line. I broke up with him, he was no longer my problem. “No. Whatever he’s gotten himself into, he can fix it on his own.”
Her brows furrowed. “What do you mean gambling?”