Chapter 5 #2
I swore softly, realizing I’d given something away.
“Autumn, he was disappearing in the middle of the night, and sometimes I wouldn’t hear from him for a few days.
He was distant and refused to talk to me about it.
As you already know, when I hired a private detective, he returned with evidence that Cooper had messed up with some shady people and owed them a lot of money.
I can’t be in a relationship where I’m not considered a trusted and equal partner.
Life is too short to wait to be cherished by someone.
” But you loved the twisted games he played before he fucked you senseless.
Sinking my teeth into my lower lip until it caused me pain, I discarded the thoughts of what he did to me, like a used car he could trade in without a second thought.
I had other shit to deal with, like the monster who showed up in the emergency room last night.
I had to stop wasting my time wishing Cooper would change.
“You absolutely deserve better than that, babe. Now that you’ve shared what happened, I’m glad you’re out. Stay away from the piece of shit.” She paused, her expression turning wistful. “I just wish your information wasn’t solid. He seemed like a good guy.”
“That’s the thing, people can present whatever mask they want, but eventually it will have to come off.
” I sighed and tucked my hair behind my ear.
“If you learn he’s dying or something serious, let me know.
Other than that, I have no intention of reconnecting with him.
My emotions are still too fragile.” I hated admitting it to her, because when I spoke it out loud, I was also admitting it to myself.
Cooper had broken my heart. I thought he was the one I’d spend my life with, but apparently, I was alone in that fantasy.
“I know. I’m sorry you’re hurting. You know I’m always here for you.” Autumn rocked the now quieter Krista.
“As soon as I have a long weekend, can I fly out to see you?”
My bestie nodded, grinning. “I’d love to see you.”
“Perfect. I should get some work done. Love ya.”
“Right back atcha, bitch. And for the record … when the right guy shows up, I bet it will all be worth the tears and shitty times.” Her sweet smile spoke volumes.
“I’ll have to take your word for it.” I winked at my bestie as a small wail pierced the air along with Autumn’s ear. “Go take care of Krista, and I’ll text you later.”
We blew each other a kiss, then disconnected the video.
Leaning back in my chair, my mind immediately returned to Draco. If it really was him, he’d probably seen me get into my Mercedes when I left for work or ran errands. I couldn’t take that chance—not if I wanted to stay hidden. I’d need to rent something different.
“Shit,” I muttered. I couldn’t take any more chances, which meant I couldn’t drive my car.
After I took an Uber to the car rental place, I drove around for a while.
Once I’d determined that no one was following me, including Draco, I steered the vehicle toward my destination.
Forty minutes later, I directed the car into the alleyway and parked several houses down the street.
Maybe I shouldn’t go anywhere with Draco making an appearance, but I couldn’t hide either.
Granting him all the power was something I couldn't allow myself to do again, yet part of me hesitated, wondering if there was a way to manage the situation without losing control.
I needed to be cautious and remain vigilant, but the pull of past mistakes still lingered.
I opened the driver’s side door and climbed out of the rental before I smoothed out the wrinkles on my blouse.
I couldn't shake the feeling of unease as I stood in front of the imposing two-story Victorian home.
Every visit was a mixture of love and discomfort.
The cracked sidewalk beneath me seemed to symbolize the fragile relationship between myself and the people inside.
Squaring my shoulders, I walked, and my heels clicked against the concrete.
The freshly manicured lawn tickled my nose, and I wiggled it, willing myself not to sneeze.
As I walked up the porch steps and to the entryway, I noticed the outside had been freshly painted a blue-gray.
It was a nice change from the dingy white that had started to peel away over the last few years.
I rang the doorbell and waited, my nerves tap-dancing along my spine. Thank God I’d stashed a travel-size deodorant in my purse for occasions like these.
The door swung open and a pretty face with big brown eyes lit up at the sight of me. Her perfectly styled hair and designer slacks and blouse told me she’d taken time to prepare for my biannual visit.
“Holland, it’s so good to see you.” She stood back, her slender frame appearing frail, but she was actually quite strong for her age.
I stepped inside, the lemon scent of Pledge lingering inside the home. The polished, light wood floors gleamed, and I was certain there wasn’t a speck of dirt to be found.
“Hi, Mom.” I leaned down and embraced her, allowing myself to briefly experience a sense of safety and security while she hugged me back. Our relationship was tumultuous with criticism and unsupportive looks, which spiked my anxiety any time I was around her.
“It’s been too long. I know you’re working a lot, but we won’t always be around.”
I looked away, irritated with the manipulation ploy. Granted, it was true they wouldn’t be on the earth forever, but they were both in good health. The last year had been spent with patients and Autumn’s family, who had needed me more.
I broke our embrace and gave her a pointed look. “What did we say about the guilt trips, Mom?”
“Well, honey, if you visited more often, then I wouldn’t need to.”
My jaw tightened. “I can leave. I want to be here, but not if it’s going to be tense and stressful.” At least I’d learned to put appropriate boundaries in place with her.
Her shoulders dropped slightly. “You’re right. As you say, ‘I’ll knock that shit off.’”
I couldn’t stop the tug at the corners of my mouth. Mom didn’t swear often, and it always made me laugh. “Much better. I’ve missed you. I want to hear about all the things.” I tipped my nose in the air. “Hmm.”
The sound of heavy, purposeful footsteps echoed through the pristine foyer, accompanied by the smell of fresh bread and spices. A man emerged from the kitchen, his round figure obscured by a cloud of flour. He wiped his hands off on a white apron before spotting me and breaking into a wide grin.
“There’s my girl!” Dad exclaimed as he made his way over to me.
“You look as beautiful as ever, but …” He tilted his head and studied me for a moment before tapping the tip of my nose with his index finger, leaving traces of flour on my skin.
“You’re a bit on the thin side. I'll have to send you home with some leftovers.”
“Hi, Dad.” I couldn’t help but fling myself into his open arms. My dad was the reason I was here, in this warm and familiar place. I loved my parents dearly, but he’d saved my life in more ways than one. And for that, I would always be grateful.
Mom had tried her best to raise me to be a graceful lady, but it seemed that my rebellious nature had won out—evidenced by my tendency to swear like a sailor and engage in casual sex.
Despite our differences, I couldn't deny that she had done her best to shape me into who I was today. And that was no easy feat considering what a difficult teen I’d been.
“Do you want to help?” Dad beamed at me.
“Of course.”
“You two have fun. Let me know when it’s time to eat.” Mom squeezed my shoulder and disappeared to the library, where she spent a lot of time reading.
I beamed at Dad, and he led me into the kitchen, where he nodded to the blue apron sitting on top of the black granite counter.
“How have you been?” I slipped the apron over my head and tied it behind my waist.
“Good, but I’ve been missing my girl. Grab the potatoes and start peeling.” He resumed his position near the ball of dough and began to knead it.
“I know. I miss you too. With work at the office and hospital over the last several months, I’ve barely had time to sit down.” I glanced at him as sadness flickered through his brown-eyed gaze. “I’ll do better now that life has settled down a bit.” If only.
He looked over at me, a dark brow slightly raised.
“I know your mother drives you crazy, but she loves you. We both do. We have since the moment you stumbled across the mall parking lot in our direction.” His words were gentle and nonjudgmental.
I’d always loved that about him. Even when the conversation was uncomfortable, he was kind …
unless you fucked with his family, then all bets were off, and the man literally transitioned into a beast right in front of you.
Just like someone else you know. I swore to myself I would make better choices about men moving forward, then I brushed the thoughts of Coop out of my mind and focused on the potatoes.
Dammit, how had the conversation turned dark when we were talking about Mom? I hadn’t even been here for ten minutes.
My hand froze in midair, hovering above the counter. “Dad.” My voice cracked with emotion. “Please, I don't want to talk about it.”
“Sweetie, look at me.”
Reluctantly, I turned to him, gripping the handle of the peeler and imagining I could strangle the life force out of it. He stared into me, as if he could see all the pain and fear I was desperately trying to hide.
“I know something is wrong,” he said gently. “You're like a porcupine, prickly and guarded. But you don't have to be afraid to talk to me. What is it?”
I leaned against the countertop, feeling vulnerable under his scrutiny. My tongue darted over my lower lip, and I wondered if he would accept the partial truth. “I miss Coop. That’s all.”
“I understand that. Matters of the heart aren’t easy. But I think there’s something else.” He wiped off his apron, a trail of flour following his moves. “I know I’m prying, but I feel like something is off. Father’s intuition.” He winked at me.
Maybe I could talk to Dad, and he could help me put the irrational fears back in the box I’d buried deep inside my soul a long time ago. They weren’t irrational with Draco around.
I focused on the next potato as the brown peels piled up in the sink. “It’s someone from my past,” I finally managed. My jaw clenched as I forced myself not to cry.
A beat of silence hung in the air while I waited for him to respond.
“Who?” His tone held a sharp edge, and I knew that he would do everything in his power to protect me.
That was the problem, though. My parents couldn’t protect me no matter how hard they tried, because when the monster came out of the closet, it was only for one reason—to devour you.
“I know you haven’t told us everything about what happened before we found you.
” His words were like a knife twisting in my gut, reopening old wounds and dredging up experiences I wanted to forget.
“But if someone has found you, then I can help.” He paused.
“This would be a good time to install a security system in your home, honey. I would feel better if you did.”
Security systems made my skin crawl. The idea of a third-party company watching, logging, controlling access just like when … No, thanks. All it did was remind me of my past. I trusted myself, my aim, and my paranoia.
But looking at my dad, I felt the familiar ache in my chest. He’d already lost so much because of me, because of what had been done to me.
And yet he was still here, steady, offering to shoulder a weight he didn’t even fully understand.
Part of me wanted to keep carrying it alone—to keep him safe in ignorance.
But another part, the tired part, craved the comfort of not being the only one holding the truth anymore.
Maybe he couldn’t protect me back then, but maybe now he deserved the chance to try. Even if it meant cracking open the past I’d buried so deep it still poisoned me in my sleep.
I nodded and rubbed my arms. “I know you would, and I understand. I can’t tell you everything, but … you might want to sit down, Dad.”
He pulled up a chair, his attention never leaving me.
“I think someone from my past has found me,” I said, my voice shaking. “I can’t say any more than that. I just needed you to know in case … in case anything happens to me.”
His mouth opened like he was about to speak—then the kitchen phone rang, slicing the air between us.