Chapter 5 #2
Once she was out of earshot, Troian continued.
“Once Dom was gone and I was broke as hell, I wandered around from town to town, offering my body in exchange for money.” He’d apparently told this to Bas, so I’d heard it secondhand, but it didn’t make the realization any less gut-wrenching to hear about.
“I went through withdrawal so fucking bad, I didn’t think I’d survive.
But I did. I was still using, but only buying enough to try and ween myself off of the shit.
” Troian folded his hands, separating them to sprawl them over the artificial top of the table.
“I didn’t even realize I’d made it all the way to Massachusetts until I’d hitched a ride and saw the sign for myself. ”
Massachusetts? That certainly wouldn’t have been where I’d thought Troian would end up after being out of options here in Piper.
I guess I hadn’t thought much about what he’d been through in the past five or so years.
I’d made a pledge to myself to not get involved, not even to entertain the idea that he’d been okay.
I’d been reserved to the fact that my brother just might have been dead.
Regret and guilt coursed through me then as I stared into the glossy eyes he had now telling his tale, immediately wanting to reach out to comfort him. Whether it was my pride or my resolve, I remained motionless as he went on.
“I was determined to get clean, and being in a completely unrecognizable place felt like what I needed in order to make it happen.” A brief smile flashed across his lips, but it vanished, as if Massachusetts held a lot of triumph for Troian, but also a well of pain.
“I found a job at a local coffee shop, replacing my vice for illegal substances with caffeine. I also managed to find a program that helped me stay sober, so I was fully equipped with everything I needed to better myself. The only thing standing in my way was me. And I’m very proud to say that I’ve stayed clean.
I just celebrated five years sober right before I came back to Piper. ”
“That’s great, Troian.” I said, meaning it more than I’d expected to. The fact that he’d been at rock bottom and managed to get clean all by himself was a feat. He deserved to be praised for that. “I’m proud of you, that’s an incredible accomplishment.”
“Thanks,” He grunted in response, sitting back in the booth to cross his arms. “I know I don’t deserve that, but I appreciate you saying it.”
“You stayed sober all by yourself,” I mustered. “Regardless of how this conversation ends, I can never take that away from you. You should feel nothing but pride about being able to clean yourself up.”
He smiled sheepishly, turning his head as the waitress returned with our food. We thanked her, sliding our plates toward us, slowly starting to pick away at our food. I was sipping on my water when Troian decided to pick up where he’d previously dropped the story.
“I was by myself for those first few years,” He said through the fries he munched on that had accompanied his hotdog.
“Never getting close enough to anyone for even a friendship, too focused on my recovery. But that all changed when Alec Cross walked into the coffee shop I worked at and altered my life for the better.”
Smiling, not knowing who the fuck this Alec guy was, I made a show of grabbing my cheeseburger so I wouldn’t feel compelled to interrupt him while I savored my food.
“Alec was just a guy who came in to get coffee every morning before work,” Troian told me with a long-lost glaze on his face, recalling the past through rose-colored fog.
“He’d moved back to town so that his mother could be closer to her family, I eventually learned.
I never thought he’d be anything other than another customer.
But he started flirting with me one day, gave me his number, and asked me out.
I was apprehensive to start dating again, even though at that point I’d been sober for two years.
But we hit it off. And he was nice, Thayer.
In a way I had never experienced before. He was good to me, too good to me.”
I could sense where this was going, and I stalled the pursuit on my food, too worried about the shift in storytelling to keep eating. “What happened?”
Troian’s face darkened, overcome by a macabre sheen that settled on his face a little too easily. I recognized it as the void of emotion he’d been wearing ever since he’d shown up in Piper. This was his new default, presumably because of what he’d been through.
“Everything was amazing for a while. Alec and I were so in love, we moved in together, we celebrated holidays and birthdays together. He helped me celebrate my sober milestones.” Troian’s demeanor shook, his eyes wobbling, seeing him really break free from the emotionless shell he’d been presented as the protective dam he’d been portraying was obliterated. “Then Alec got sick.”
“Fuck, Troian.” Unable to remain stoic, I reached out and grabbed his hand from across the table. I felt the gratitude pouring off his skin as he squeezed my hand back tenfold. “I’m so sorry.”
Troian wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand, clearing his throat as if he needed to barrel through the rest. “Against the advice of everyone in his life, we quietly got married a week after his diagnosis.”
“You got married?”
Nodding, he wrestled his hand away from me, wiping his eyes again. “I did. I wanted to be Alec’s husband before he was taken away from me.” My mouth opened to ask the question he’d yet to answer, but he took quick notice and beat me to it. “Lymphoma, stage four.”
“Fucking hell,” I didn’t know that much about cancer, but I knew that didn’t sound good. “How long did he have?”
“The doctors gave him four years.” Troian cleared his throat again, sounding like he was working overtime to stifle another sob.
“He did chemo and radiation at their request, but it wasn’t working, so Alec wanted to go home.
To pass at home. He only lived two years after his diagnosis.
Knowing it was coming didn’t do anything to ease the pain of losing him. ”
My brother broke. I’d never, in all my years, ever seen my brother cry, let alone witnessing the act that seemed to threaten to take him over.
I was a little worried that he was going to gain the attention of the rest of the diner, but he hid his face in his hands.
Hell, he was making me cry, feeling a tear slide down my face as I watched my brother’s breakdown.
After a minute of Troian’s valid hysterics, he composed himself enough to wipe his face for the umpteenth time, his eyes red with the pain of losing the man he loved.
“Alec died two weeks before I made it back here to Piper.”
I grabbed his hand again, shaking it until he looked me in the eyes. “Troian, I am so sorry.”
“Thanks.” He managed to whisper back, sniffling and growling through the emotion still catching in the back of his throat.
“His family is a nightmare. The only sane one is his mother, Madison. She’s part of this absolutely insane line of wealthy white pieces of shit that could care less about anyone who doesn’t serve their direct needs and wants.
” Troian huffed. “They fought Alec and I getting married, demanding that he make me sign a prenup. Alec and his mother refused, telling the pretentious fucks to get the hell over it. So naturally, when Alec died, they fought me every step of the way when he left me…a sizable amount of money.”
“Naturally,” I rolled my eyes, thinking about the kind of people they’d have to be to give them such strife amidst the love they’d so clearly had even after the unthinkable had devilishly decided to pry them apart. “How sizable?”
“Twenty-two million dollars.”
I choked on my own saliva, a series of coughs making me reach for my water to gulp down the shock of what I’d just heard.
Twenty-two million? I couldn’t even fathom the reality of one million dollars, let alone twenty-two of those millions.
That was insane. Feeling the shock leave me, I composed myself accordingly before looking back at my brother.
“Troian, that’s…”
“A lot, I know.” Troian agreed. “Which is why I posed as you one last time and deposited the money I stole from you, plus interest, before I even showed up at your apartment that day Bas was hurt.”
“What?”
That was…impossible. Granted, I’d never reported it to the bank because opening that entire can of worms to an active investigation was not something I’d been equipped to deal with after Troian had taken the money.
I’d just wanted to be done. Even though he’d done it once before, it shattered my reality to think that he’d done it again, but this time to remedy everything.
“I knew you wouldn’t accept the money if I proposed it, whether you didn’t believe I was sober or whatever other very fair reason you might have had. So I took care of it and please just accept the money. I know it’s not much of an apology, but I hope it’ll help you in whatever way you see fit.”
Too curious to see the 200K back in my bank account that he’d taken from me, I pulled out my phone and quickly accessed my bank’s app to check my balance.
I didn’t check my account too regularly (I know, shame on me) since I worked at the club and dealt with cash so much.
I spent most of the money I earned on the apartment, since I was a one-income household now.
But I’d been steadily putting anything extra in savings, to try and build back the money I’d lost when Troian had withdrew everything.
I wasn’t making much of a dent, but I had to start somewhere.
He hadn’t touched my savings account, thankfully seeing that the eight thousand dollars I’d put back was still there, waiting to be used. But my heart felt like it was going to stop when I checked the balance of my checking account.
Two million, one thousand, and thirty-three dollars sang back to me in painful clarity.
Dropping my phone the very short distance on the diner’s table, it skidded across the surface haphazardly as I peered into the eyes both Troian and I saw in the mirror.
“Troian…this is way more than the money Mom and Dad left me, even accounting for interest. This is…way too fucking much.”
“In my opinion, it’s not enough.” Troian said softly, running a hand over his dark buzzcut. “I put you through hell, made you take a job that paid the bills because I took every reserve you might have been holding on to.”
“I might have started at the club to make decent money, but I don’t regret it. I still work there for a reason.”
“Well, now you can do it because you actually enjoy it instead of out of necessity.” He smiled warmly.
“Troian, I…I can’t accept this, I’m not a millionaire.”
“You can and you are,” He laughed. “It’s hard for me to accept it too.
But Alec wanted me to have this money, to make sure I was taken care of for the rest of my life, even if he can’t physically take care of me anymore.
And I want to try and right the wrongs I’ve made in the past. The money isn’t contingent on you wanting me in your life.
The money is already yours. It’s just a token of good faith.
To pay you back, that’s all. I’ve truly changed, Thayer.
And I want to make it up to you in every way I can. If you’ll let me.”
Overcome with emotion, I stood up from the booth, scurrying over and pulling him up to his feet so that I could pull him into a hug.
It wasn’t so much that now I could do whatever the fuck I wanted after seeing those numbers just sitting in my bank account.
It was the simple fact that Troian was replacing something he’d taken, repairing the damage he’d done.
The fact that I had the money back and then some was a bonus.
Watching Troian tell his story, I could feel how sorry he was and how much he’d changed. Seeing him talk about Alec, seeing him talk about being clean, it was just so much. I’d wished for my brother back for years, and for the first time ever, it felt like I was actually getting him back.
His arms reciprocated the hug, and we stayed like that for what felt like eons. Troian didn’t need to be my long-lost secret anymore. He was home, he was here. And more importantly, he was better.
I pulled out of the hug and gave him the widest grin I could achieve. “How about you spend the night at the apartment?”
Troian smirked, patting my arm for a few beats. “I’d love that.”