Chapter 7
A sigh sauntered out of my lips as I walked toward the piano in what normally would have been the dining room. Per usual, I was busy with the business side of my job, while my mind was plagued with thoughts that I couldn’t seem to let go of.
I was waiting for Van to arrive so we could do a local event where I was set to unveil the music video for Birthstone Baby, and the subsequent tour announcement.
After strategizing with Priyanka after we’d watched the video at my house last week, she’d said that involving the local community would drive out some more buzz, so she threw together a music video viewing party at a club.
She’d been posting on socials about the event, encouraging local fans to come by and support my latest video release.
All of this was happening after I’d just shot my interview for Hot Ones a few days ago, and that had posted earlier today, so I was just feeling a bit overwhelmed.
What didn’t help was the fact that I’d had that damned dream again.
It was frame for frame the exact same one I’d had before, with me being on the cliff where I’d shot my first album cover about to be swarmed by a mob.
And just like before, I’d jumped off the cliff into the water, only to be assaulted by the ghostly version of my mother.
So naturally, thoughts of the fact that my mother had left Phoebe was swarming my brain like a hive of agitated wasps.
Aside from those thoughts weighing down on me, I was also acutely aware that this was going be Van’s first official instance of being my security guard at a live event.
My attraction, thankfully, had taken a back seat to the anxiety I felt over his start to the job he’d been hired for.
I was too nervous to think about how close we’d be during the event.
I was excited to unveil the video and to formally announce tour, but my mind was wrapped in a cocoon of wondering where the fuck my mother had gone. A part of me was scared that she was coming to me, to continue her previous plague upon my life.
Shaking myself, I sat down at the piano.
I wouldn’t let her win by letting her control my emotions like this.
I’d bought this piano for this exact reason.
So that when I was feeling inspired, or in this case overwhelmed, I could use my emotions as my muse for future music.
The best way for me to deal with things happening in my life was to write and sing about it, so I started strumming some chords on the piano until I had a consistent melody that seemed to fit my mood, and I started singing out loud, bearing my soul with whatever lyrics happened to come barreling out.
I got a call from Kit, you're no longer in town
Don't know where you are, just that you're not around
Now I have a choice, I can come back home
But my star's on the rise, home's not where I belong
Did you leave because of me or
Did you leave because of you
Did you finally let me breathe or
Did you finally need more room
Whatever the case may be
I’ll take the gift you gave me
I’m free
To go where I’m meant to be
I’m free
To go back to Phoebe
I’m free
To go wherever I please
I’m free
To go back to Phoebe
Before I had a proper chance to assess the lyrics that my soul had decided to churn out, I heard the sound of soft clapping. Alert raised the hair on my arms as I turned toward the front door, which shared an open archway with the dining room that I’d converted into my piano room.
Van was leaning against the archway, giving me the soft applause and giving me the cutest smirk he had.
Okay, so maybe I still did have access to that instant attraction, but I buried it.
I was too self-conscious about the fact that he’d heard me singing and riffing through my feelings to let the spurned excitement come alive.
“Van,” I said, lifting from the piano and smoothing my hands over the silver sequined pants I’d managed to squeeze into.
I was glad to keep the aesthetic of the Diamonds era alive, but it was not easy to get in and out of the type of outfits that matched the energy of what my latest album exuded. “I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Too busy belting.” Van snickered, straightening his stance but keeping the smile on his face. “I knocked, but the door was unlocked. I apologize.”
“No need.”
I laughed it off like it wasn’t embarrassing to have him hear me like that. He’d just heard the recording of me on the music video, all mastered and produced to high heaven. No one heard my raw voice unless I was performing live on stage, not in the comfort of my own home.
Van shook his head. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. You sounded wonderful.” He assured me, but as he walked closer to me, I could see a glimmer of sorrow frost his face. “The lyrics were a little…somber.”
“Yeah, my mind’s doing overtime lately.” A new sigh replaced the one that had accompanied me into the room before I’d started playing. “I was just trying to shed as much of it as I could before the event.”
“Feel any better?”
I was shocked that Van wasn’t prying into why my mind was feeling heavier than usual. Maybe that’s what was going to make him a great security guard, the not prying. I could use more of the silent support type in my life.
“A bit.” I admitted. “Are you ready for this?”
“Definitely. I’ll admit, I’m curious to see how noticed you are.”
I couldn’t help but toss a laugh at him. “Not convinced I’m that popular?”
“Oh, not at all!” He waved me off, blush decorating his cheek. It was really cute to see that he was easily flustered by my words. Not that I was keeping that in mind, of course. “I guess I’m just intrigued to see it, but I’m ready to do my job properly.”
I had no doubts that Van would keep me protected. Wasting no more time, the car I’d ordered from rideshare arrived and we quickly piled into the backseat of the large SUV. Van had been the perfect gentleman, opening my door for me and everything. I could definitely get used to that.
Priyanka, Rodrigo, and Blue were all meeting us at the venue, a club by the name of Periwinkle.
It was a newer club, but Priyanka had assured me that it was the next big club in Nashville.
As long as we were able to have a smooth event, I was fine with whatever.
I wanted to try my best to shed the thoughts about my mother and focus on my career.
I had so many exciting things to look forward to.
That’s what I should be honing in on, not that stupid dream or the woman that was haunting it.
Our car pulled up to the club and there was already a crowd amassed outside, a line leading down the sidewalk and wrapping around the block. Another score for Priyanka on the being right front. The club was obviously where it was at.
Van hopped out of the vehicle once it stopped at the curb, just by the entrance of the place.
I hated to skip the line, but being the featured artist of the night had its perks and I just wanted to get in safely.
Being the gentleman that he was, Van sauntered around the back of the car until he pried open my door.
As soon as he did so though, people careened their necks to witness who was pulling up, being driven by their sheer need to kill their curiosity.
Someone screamed my name and pointed, and all fucking hell broke loose.
I managed to get out of the car, cradled by the safety of Van’s arms as he kept turning around, seeing the fans and looking absolutely bewildered by them.
They kept screaming their excitement at me as they swarmed the car, and I managed to plaster on a smile even though my heartbeat was like a battering ram trying to escape my chest. Fear and adrenaline fueled me, and I watched as Van kept asking people to politely make room.
When they did, he shifted his arms, still keeping them in a cocoon around me as he led me toward the entrance.
“Alistair, I love your music!” One of them yelled as I walked by.
I managed to catch the person’s eye who spoke, giving them my best genuine smile.
“Thank you so much.” And then Van ushered me to the entrance, making me go in front of him and all cries and cheers of joy were cut off from me as we made our way inside the club.
Van managed to give the bouncer my name and saying that we needed to get inside, only getting a nod from the man watching the door as we slipped in.
The door rattled shut behind us, Van keeping the door closed as he leaned against the frame.
I turned around to face him, looking around our surroundings.
We were in a small little room that clearly kept the public from the main room, a little room where people could check their coats and things of that nature.
Down at the end of the red lit room was a sort of kiosk where an overworked and underpaid employee sat browsing their phone, not even paying us any mind.
“Holy shit,” Van managed to blurt out as he straightened himself up and dusted off his tux. “I knew you were famous but I didn’t realize you were that famous.”
I let out a tapered snort. “Famous is a relative term, but yeah. The fans are…spirited sometimes.”
“And all of this within the last couple of months?” Van winced. “You’re handling it rather well.”
Suddenly tuned into our conversation, the guy at the accessory checking kiosk looked up at the pair of us, his jaw slacking.
“Oh my God, you’re Alistair Finn.”
Giving Van a nod, we walked side by side as we cut the space between us and the guy at the kiosk. Van was assessing the area, turning his neck every which way while I smiled at the employee.
“Hi, that’s right. I’m Alistair, nice to meet you.”
“Fucking hell,” The guy let out a scoff that ended in a lopsided smile. “I’m so sorry, but can I get a picture? My girlfriend is never going to believe me if I don’t have proof.”
I chuckled. Fan interactions like this didn’t make me nearly as nervous. Especially given that it was just the three of us in the room. “Absolutely. What’s your name?”
“Ryan.”
“Nice to meet you, Ryan.” He handed me his phone, and I gave Van a quiet plea with my eyes. “Can you take a picture of us right quick?”
“Sure.”
Ryan walked in front of the counter and stood next to me, looking a little awkward, like he didn’t know if we were allowed to touch or not.
I set his mind at ease by draping my arm around his shoulders and posing at the phone Van had pointed at us.
Ryan eased at my silent request, easing into the sideways embrace and joining me in smiling at his phone.
The flash went off exactly twice before Van proceeded to hand the phone back to Ryan. The timid employee checked the picture and then gave me a wide grin. “Thanks so much, man. You’re music’s really cool.”
“I appreciate that. Tell your girlfriend I said hi.”
Ryan thought this was the most amazing thing in the world, judging by how much his mouth dropped at my comment. “I for sure will.”
He returned to behind the counter, and Van cleared his throat before folding his in front of each other, draped down so that his hands conjoined. “Is there a different entrance other than walking through the main dance floor? Alistair has an event that’s starting soon.”
“Oh, yeah! They told me we were having an event tonight but I had no idea what was going on, sorry.” Ryan nodded apologetically, but he gestured to a door to his left.
“You can go back through here, there’s a room back there where the drag queens and other talent goes. I’ll let the owner know you’re here.”
“Sounds great, thanks Ryan.”
Beating me to the prohibited entrance, Van pried the door open, made sure no one was in the immediately vicinity, and held the door open for me to pass through.
He really was an interesting man. Sometimes he was so stoic that I wondered if he felt feelings the same way that people did.
But every so often, like I’d seen when he’d been reacting to my music back at the house, he did these little displays that showed you there was so much more to the muscle that the rest of the world was presented.
I ignored the part of me that wanted to know more about him.
Because the truth was, my attraction aside, he was an interesting guy.
I liked learning about the people on my team, about the people in my life in general.
So the fact that I had a new case to crack was exciting.
I just needed to make sure that I didn’t succumb to my initial feelings and cross the professional line.
The backroom entrance to the club wasn’t the most glamours thing in the world, but it was spacious, which in my opinion, was way more important.
With Van tailing me, we passed by some drag performers, some of them doing double takes when I walked in.
I smiled and said hello, but none of them stopped me.
Fluorescents buzzed above us as I kept walking in what I hoped was the correct direction. I was about to stop and ask for anyone to direct me to…actually, I wasn’t even sure where the hell I was supposed to go.
Halting my trek down the backroom, I turned to face Van. He was quickly scanning the immediate area before his eyes found mine, a smirk lingering off my face. God, he really was beautiful. Those eyes were so inviting and—
No, I told myself. You can’t do this. Focus. You’re here for work, just like Van.
No matter how much I didn’t want to be, I knew I was right. I hated when I was right. That was usually Priyanka’s department. Refocusing on his questioning stare, I finally refortified my brain.
“Did Priyanka say anything to you about where we’re supposed to be right now?”
Van shook his head, his hand already reaching into the black slacks he’d been choosing since he’d gotten the job. “No, but let me call her. She gave me her number before I left your house last week just in case.”
I was about to protest, because I could call her just as easily as he could, when a tinny voice rang through the air.
“There you both are!”
Sure enough, I turned in the direction of the proclamation and was met with Priyanka’a bubbly expression as she bounded over to us from what looked like a room off to the side of the hall we had been walking down. She clasped both of her hands on my shoulder.
“You’re onstage in, like, five minutes. I’ll debrief you back here in the room they gave us before you speak.”
Oh god, why hadn’t I bothered to ask Priyanka more about what was expected of me at this thing?
Because you were haunted by this news regarding your mother.
That was enough of that. Chastising my own brain, I nodded at Priyanka and let her lead Van and I toward the room she had originally extracted herself from.
It was time to unveil the video and officially tell people when I was going on my very first headlining tour.