Chapter 8
Nerves were singeing down my arms like lightning strikes in the midnight sky. I normally didn’t get this nervous, but standing backstage at the club, moments before I was about to unveil the music video for Birthstone Baby, I suddenly felt like I’d never been more nervous.
“You’ll be fine.” I heard from my left, footsteps ending as Van stood next to me with crossed arms and armed with a leaded smile. “I wouldn’t think you could get nervous.”
“The fact that you can tell I’m nervous is an insight into my state of mind,” I said, trying to chuckle nonchalantly. “I just don’t feel at my best, so I’m trying to shed that.”
Pressure emitted from my shoulder as Van’s hand bared down comfortingly. “You’ll be great.” He reiterated, the silent promise under his tone, putting me a little at ease.
I breathed in his optimism and did my best to exhale all of the doubts.
Being in front of crowds wasn’t something I was scared of.
I loved performing live and I’d been doing it non-stop since I released my first album and did my best to promote it by booking any bar, club, or venue that would have me.
But now I was so much more instantly familiar to people.
Van had praised me earlier about handling the transition from unknown artist to global superstar well, but the truth was, I still hadn’t been able to get a handle on it.
The past several months were a crazy learning curve to get used to, but I knew I’d get there eventually. I just needed to take this first leap.
This crowd was going to be the biggest crowd I’d been in front of since the fame had locked its hackles on me.
Even doing the interview for Fox Jennings hadn’t produced this many people, so I closed my eyes to prep myself.
I could do this. I’d been training for this ever since I’d first stepped into that studio with Blue all those years ago.
“Ready?” Priyanka’s voice ripped my eyes open, Van wordlessly retracting his hand from my shoulder as she came up to us. Her smile was twice as vibrant as her voice. “Once this song ends, I’ll go on stage and introduce you.”
I hadn’t even really registered the music throbbing around us, though it had been doing so since we’d left the little makeshift dressing room once we’d found Priyanka backstage.
I nervously smoothed my palms over the black glittery shirt that was underneath the silver sequined jacket that went with my pants.
Clearly, I needed to do more live performances to get my nerves together.
I refused to feel this way when I was on tour and performing every single night.
Sucking in a chaste breath, I calmed my body down as I heard the ending of the Kim Petras song coming to its natural conclusion. “I’m ready.”
Priyanka nodded, squeezing by me and Van and disappearing through the folds of the blue backstage curtains as she wormed her way on stage, a male voice declaring that they had an announcement regarding Alistair Finn and to listen up.
It was eerie how quiet the audience got at that mention, but there were little whispers and murmurs of excitement that kept me from faltering as I shook my body, visibly shaking limbs out of the nerves that seemed to be trapped within them.
Van said something, but I just gave him a smile and a nod.
I was too busy listening to Priyanka introducing me.
Once I heard the cue that was my name, I thanked Van again and found my way through the curtains until the lights from the sizable stage the club had at their disposal hit my face with a blinding subtle heat.
Cheers ruminated around me, lifting up my earlier soggy thoughts as I walked across the stage to where Priyanka was waiting with a microphone.
I met her halfway when she extended the mic to me, the applause dying down as I took the mic and redirected my attention to the crowd.
There had to be around a hundred people here, making me wonder if it was all fans of my music or a mix of fans and people who were at Periwinkle to enjoy the thump thump of the music that would soon be back to bumping through large speakers.
Taking the microphone and looking out into the crowd, I felt more like myself.
These people, or at least most of them, were here because they wanted to hear what I had to say.
I had zero reason to be apprehensive, and the nerves started leaving me like water flowing over my skin.
It happened so fast that by the time I started talking, I’d already forgotten why I’d been so nervous in the first place.
“Hey everyone, I’m Alistair Finn.” I paused because of the sheer jolts from the crowd as an uproar of positive cheering and hollering met my ears.
I glanced over at Van, who was now visible from the curtain area but still obscured from the crowd.
He gave me a warm smile and mimed a thumbs up.
I smiled back as I saw the same jubilant enthusiasm from Priyanka.
I had all the support in the world right now at this club.
At least all the support I needed to continue.
The applause died down and I took control back over the conversation as I spoke into the mic again.
“Thanks for coming. I wanted to have this event to unveil the new music video for my latest single, Birthstone Baby.” After some more cheers, I added.
“Thank you to anyone and everyone that’s been showing The Pressure To Cut Diamonds some love.
I’m super proud of this album and I’m even prouder of this music video.
So without further ado, here’s the premiere of my latest music video.
Enjoy!” I kept the mic, but moved off the stage, clearing the view of the giant projector screen that the video was about to be projected on to.
The lights dimmed as I took my spot next to Priyanka on the stage, giving a small smile to who must be either the owner of the club or the manager that Priyanka had briefly mentioned in the dressing room.
The video started to play on the screen and the crowd was enacting their excitement as they saw the first shot of me buried in the pool of gemstones, before others within the crowd begged them to be quiet.
“Amazing, as usual.” Priyanka whispered to me. I made sure I held the mic away from us so our conversation wouldn’t get picked up before the proper start of the video.
“Thanks.” I said back, just as the Alistair in the video flared his eyes open and the music of the song started to throb it’s 808 heavy beat from the provided speakers.
The video went by really fast, and I was a little startled by how abruptly the lights went back up when it was over. I sauntered back to the spot directly in the center of the projector screen and gave the crowd a smile.
“What did you guys think?”
Cheers erupted once more, and I felt a throb of pride along my spine. We’d worked so hard on the video and I was glad to hear, at least from this crowd, that it had paid off. The video was already scheduled to go live online in a few hours, so these fans were the first to view it.
“Thanks so much for being the first people to see the video for Birthstone Baby. You might have noticed a little flyer at the end of the video.” Murmurs befell the general audience, and I could see that people were waiting for my next choice of words.
“We put that in the video because…” I could feel the buildup gathering in the audience before me, and a smirk lifted my lips as I kept the anticipation up for as long as possible.
“I’m going on my first headlining tour.” The level of loudness from the fans, I never could have placed bets on.
It was overwhelming in the best way possible to get this sort of response from the people who listened to my music.
I managed to cut through the noise with my continued comments.
“It’s called ‘The Cutting Diamonds Tour’ and it kicks off in Nashville on January 2nd! ”
More cheers of excitement and more applause met me, and I looked to Priyanka with a smile. She was motioning for me to come off stage, so I turned back to the audience. “More info about the tour will be on socials momentarily. Thanks again for coming!”
Applause met my back as I turned, ambling over to Priyanka and handing the mic back to her as I made my way back to Van at the curtains.
He vanished into them as my approach ended, and as soon as we were backstage again, I felt electric and alive.
As usual, I’d been nervous for no reason.
I’d just unleashed my music video to a room full of fans and announced tour.
I still needed to post the announcements on socials, but for now, I was done. Now I could breathe.
“The video was even better the second time.” Van said proudly, leading me through the backstage area until we were back in the hallway where the rooms were located. “Congrats, Alistair.”
“Thank you.” I said with a slight simmer. “But I’m ready to go home. Gotta manage all the posts about the video and tour.” I shook my head, looking at how at peace Van looked. That was about to change as soon as we attempted to leave the venue. “Ready to go back to the car?”
Van turned to me, as if he had heard the unspoken insinuation I hadn’t said through my tone, the realization that my question meant we’d have to go back outside, where the fans were liable to be even more riled up than before after the announcements I’d made.
“This is going to be an adjustment.” Van sighed, but finished it off with a chuckle of support. “How do you do it?”
I snorted, shaking my head and scoffing. “When I figure it out, I’ll be sure to let you know.”
Stomping into the dressing room I’d been prepping in earlier, I grabbed my phone off the vanity and averted the screen.
I had so much social media stuff to do when I got home, but for now, I could just slip my phone back into the pocket of my tight ass sequined pants and try to escape Periwinkle without a fuss.
Following Van’s lead, we started walking toward the entrance, to where we’d come in through the talent entrance of the club.
I was ready to get back home. Now that tour was upcoming, I was going to be thrown on a serious regimen to get myself ready for tour.
Despite my earlier misgiving, I was so ready for tour.
Even though it still weirded me out sometimes, I was a star now. I needed to start acting like it.
“Come on,” He placed his hand on the small of my back, instantly ignited my skin. God, I really needed to go on a date or something to keep the thought of Van’s hands on me from derailing this still very new working relationship. “Let’s get you home.”