20. Ben
At 0630, as Wheeler drove us in a black SUV and Bloom rode in the gunner’s seat, I sat in the back, getting my mind right for the course ahead of me. A text pinged on my phone. I checked it and was more than a little disappointed it wasn’t from Savannah. But it was still good. Mai wished me luck and told me she’d finally be in town that night in time to celebrate with me. I texted back that I’d do my best to survive long enough to see her.
By midmorning, Wheeler’s prediction of numb limbs came true, but instead of thanking him, I wanted to kill him. By early afternoon, I wanted to dig my own shallow grave and collapse into it.
After hours of cliff-face climbing, solo rappelling, whitewater swimming, off-trail running, and mud-crawling, we arrived back at the SUV. Bloom and Wheeler looked pristine, of course, since they’d observed and shouted orders and taken notes from a safe distance. I had no idea if I’d met the time requirement to pass. I’d given up caring two hours earlier.
Bloom threw a mylar blanket over my shoulders, and Wheeler handed me yet another large bottle of an electrolyte-laden drink. Together, they lifted me into the back seat. Thank God they both believed in leaving no man behind, because if I’d had to rely on my own volition, I probably would have died alone in the mountains of Western Maryland.
A few minutes into the drive, I still couldn’t open my eyes or move, but a little feeling was returning to both arms and one leg.
“He looks so sweet, doesn’t he?” Wheeler said to Bloom. “Sound asleep like a little man-baby. I didn’t even get the chance to tell him he passed the test.”
Good to know. I had no idea if he realized I was conscious but immobile, but either way, for once, I was happy to hear what the Aussie asshole had to say.
“He more than passed,” Bloom said. “He fucking killed it. Hey, did you ever tell him he could stretch out the training over four weeks and take the test in multiple pieces?”
“I might not have mentioned it,” Wheeler said.
What the hell did he just say? I tried to make noise, to bellow and rage, but nope. My body had other stupid ideas, like trying to recover from the brutal beating it had just taken.
“I hate to borrow words from Hayes, but that seems like an asshole thing to do.”
“I did it as a personal favor to Li,” he said. “She asked me to get him qualified as fast as possible.”
Bloom let out a low whistle. “That’s stone cold. I thought they were tight.”
“They are, as far as I know. I got the impression she wanted him fully in the agency as soon as possible, before he could run away.”
And there it was, what my own sister thought of me. Mai knew it. Dad knew it. Savannah had tried to overlook it, but it had bitten her in the ass, and I’d nearly set her up for heartbreak again. For the short-term, get in quick, kick ass and take names, get out quicker, I was the go-to guy. For anything else, I was the king of cut and run.
Three-Be Ben. I’d never live down my reputation, and I’d never outgrow that name.
After sleepingfor the rest of the ride back to HEAT HQ, taking a twenty-minute shower to scrub mud and sweat from every crevice of my body, and passing out on my bed for another two hours, I was recovered enough for the team dinner. I dressed in jeans and a black T-shirt to match my mood, which was inexplicably dark. I didn’t know why hearing Mai’s opinion of me had pissed me off so much. It’s not like it was a secret that she and Dad had that in common. I couldn’t fault either one of them for seeing the truth.
I put on my game face and smiled into the mirror. Tomorrow, I would be officially inducted into HEAT’s ranks and would go on active duty for my remaining five weeks of servitude. Everyone else in the building saw it as a huge win, so I would go along with it. Luckily, my future boss in Chicago was holding my real job for me. I didn’t know how X had managed that, but I figured she owed me, so I accepted the small kindness and left it at that.
By the time I made it to the first floor, the team and Savannah were gathered in the gym, where the kitchen table, with added leaves, had been pulled out into the center of the large space. My gaze lingered on her a little too long, but I earned a smile, which made it worth the risk of someone noticing. I reluctantly looked away from her and finally, after months away and more than a week of promises to arrive, laid eyes on my sister. Only an inch shorter than I am and dressed in her signature black that matched her short hair, she was hard to miss.
“Congrats, little brother!” she said.
She barreled toward me, and I opened my arms for her hug.
“Careful,” I said as she approached. “Not sure I’m all in one piece at the moment.”
“You’ll survive.” She drew me into a dramatic embrace like she’d been doing since we were toddlers. “By the way,” she whispered, “Mom and Dad know you’re in the state.”
Well, shit. “When did they find out?” That really translated to how pissed is Mom that I haven’t visited yet?
“A couple of days ago. I talked to them Sunday, and it kind of slipped out.”
I propped my hands on my hips and gave her my disappointed look. “And?” Because when Mai flashed her innocent smile like she was now, I knew there was an “and.”
“I’ll tell you about it later.”
I knew I should press the issue, but I was too damned tire. Whatever scheme Mai was hatching, that was a shitshow for another day. For now, I had a team dinner to endure before I could lure Savannah back to my bed.
I watched Sav until she looked at me, then smiled at her. I wouldn’t give up eye contact. If she wanted this look to end, she would have to do it. It was probably the exhaustion talking. Definitely the low blood sugar making things worse. But whatever friends-with-benefits deal we’d struck, I wanted to amend the terms. I didn’t deserve her. I never would. But I wanted her as much, much more than my friend, and before this night ended, I planned to tell her that.