21. Ben
Kat took charge of our little group and assigned our seats around the table. I was at the head because the party was to celebrate my success. Mai was to my right, and Dr. Bond—Sam—was to my left. Kat and Pasco, sitting across from each other were next, then Bloom and Wheeler. Savannah was at the other end of the table, another place of honor, I supposed, but too damn far away from me. I wanted to hug her, too, hear her congratulations, curl my aching body into her arms, and fall asleep cocooned in her warmth.
“Earth to Ben.” Mai nudged my shoulder. “Pour yourself some wine and pass it on.”
I did as ordered, then glanced around the room, realizing someone was missing. “Hey,” I said to Mai, “I thought this Lang guy was coming with you.”
“He had to make a detour, check on something at home,” she said. “He’ll be here tomorrow.”
I glanced at Kat. “Are we sure this guy exists?”
She grinned. “Trust me, he does. And you won’t be able to miss him.”
I didn’t follow up on that. Tonight was all about putting off until tomorrow what I didn’t have the energy to deal with today.
As we passed around platters of the catered dinner, conversations started across the table. I tried to stay reasonably engaged, although, with each bite, I was a little less famished and a little more exhausted. The four seated closest to me didn’t seem to notice. They’d worked together frequently and were busy recalling war stories. Not literal ones in this case, but sometimes death-defying. I managed to catch Savannah’s eye more than once. She was doing a better job of engaging with Bloom and Wheeler, but happily for me, looked like she, too, wished we’d been seated closer together.
At the end of dinner, we all helped move everything to the kitchen. “Bloom and I have volunteered for clean-up duty,” Wheeler announced, “but if we can all sit back down for a few minutes, I understand Pasco has prepared a special treat.”
Half the attendees groaned.
Sam patted my shoulder. “I tried to stop him.”
“Not another of his Jensen-inspired drink concoctions,” I pleaded. A couple shots—or more, knowing Pasco—would do me in, given my sorry-ass state.
Mai grinned at me as we took our original seats. “It’s become a HEAT tradition at this point. Don’t try to fight it. It’s best just to gut it out.”
Pasco came from the lounge, where all the alcohol was kept, ceremoniously carrying a tray full of champagne flutes. He stopped beside me, and I took one of the flutes. It was nearly full to the brim with something that looked unappetizingly like liquified mud. I glanced at Bloom and Wheeler.
Bloom grinned. “We had suggestions on how to make it reflective of your experience today.”
“You assholes are too kind.” I sniffed the drink. At least it didn’t smell like I had when I’d stepped into the shower. There was a hint of cocoa, but mostly it smelled like pure ethanol.
When everyone had a glass, Kat stood and turned toward me. “I’ll keep this short and sweet so we don’t have too much longer to dread drinking whatever this is. Hayes, you did what no one in the history of HEAT has ever done. You passed your written and physical exams and qualified for service in one week.”
The group clapped and wolf whistled. Mai beamed at me with sisterly pride. Like a good sport, I smiled and thanked them, but my body ached, and a low-level drumbeat was starting in my head, and I still hadn’t touched Savannah yet today. While Kat finished a short speech, I caught Sav’s gaze. Staring into her golden-brown eyes eased some of the pain. The minute I could politely bolt, I would do so, and I prayed Savannah would follow me.
“To Hayes!” Kat finished.
“To Hayes!” the rest of them echoed.
We all took tentative sips of Pasco’s offering. There was a lot of grimacing and groaning around the table, and Savannah set down her glass and pushed it away from her. Maybe it was the exhaustion talking, but I didn’t think it was half bad. I finished my glass. Probably not the best idea in my current state, given that my bones slowly melted into my chair, and I wasn’t sure how I was going to haul myself off to bed when the time came.
“Hey, has anyone told Hayes?” Pasco said, drawing me out of my exhaustion-fueled lethargy.
“Told me what?” I sat up straight and instinctively glanced at Savannah.
She smiled, which set me at ease.
“We’ve had a busy day,” Savannah jumped in. “We know the name of the cult. Wealth Craft Institute. WCI. And the leader whose name I could not remember is Howard Anson.”
“Let’s call it a high-control organization.” Kat looked exhausted as she said it. “If they hold themselves out as a religious organization, we’re going to have to tread very carefully here, even in how we refer to them in our HEAT reports.”
We all said various versions of “understood.”
“So, what do we know about Anson?” I asked.
Pasco picked up the story. “Comes from money, then made more of his own. He made a killing on Wall Street in the 90s, just as it was bouncing back from the 80s crash.”
Great, a “self-made” master of the universe who’d been born on third base and handed everything. No wonder he’d started a cult. Or high-control group.
“And we also learned some information about my business,” Savannah said. Her expression was unreadable, so I waited for her to tell me whether it was good or bad news.
“It has to do with their computer and networking systems,” Pasco said. “Without going into too much detail—”
“Thank you,” at least three people said in unison.
“Ha ha.” Pasco scowled but continued. “There’s too much electronic activity coming from that office for a nine-person team, with most of them working remotely.”
“More people than expected are working there?” I glanced at Savannah, who frowned and shrugged her shoulders. More unclear news. No wonder she didn’t know how to feel.
“Possibly,” Pasco answered. “Also, more computers, servers, even a second network.”
“Which has pissed him off royally because he hasn’t been able to hack it remotely,” Bloom said.
Pasco shook his head. “Hack is a strong word, since I have permission from one of the company owners.”
I furrowed my brow and directed my question to Savannah. “Is that the facility on the outskirts of downtown Annapolis? The one you started when…?”
“It is,” she confirmed.
“And you don’t know anything about what’s going on? Sorry,” I said, “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded. I’m just thinking, if Devlin is up to something there, with an entire team that was hired by and answers to Savannah… That’s pretty ballsy. Or desperate.”
“Or both,” Kat said. “Our directive is to find out the ‘what’ and the ‘why’ of what Masters has been doing. When we see the kind of money moving in and out that Savannah discovered, it’s usually tied to highly illegal activity, which will open up our options for investigating.”
Finally, something that made Savannah’s shoulders drop with some relief. Later, I would have to massage her to help her relax. Well, given my physical limitations, it would have to be tomorrow or maybe the next day. But soon.
“Since Pasco’s hacking’s been thwarted,” Wheeler said, “Bloomers pulled up building blueprints, and we started planning a nighttime infiltration to locate the servers.”
Now that sounded like fun. I was a little miffed they’d done it without me.
Pasco grunted. “Excuse me for needing a minute to infiltrate an obscured VPN. Typical loggies and tac ops.”
“I like a good nighttime mission as the next tactical op, but I was on Pasco with this one,” Kat said.
Wheeler smiled and pointed to Savannah. “And then she said…”
“Guys, I own the company. We can just walk in the front door Friday afternoon. We have a flexible work-from-home policy, and there will be a skeleton staff in the office at that time.”
“Why don’t we walk in through the front door after hours?” I asked.
“That’s the other reason a night op was a stupid plan,” Pasco said, glancing at Bloom. “I need the processing and usage data from the server room while company computers are in use.”
I looked at Kat. She was my last hope of sanity. “You’re not considering this plan, are you? Masters might be a culty nutball, but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. Savannah’s in hiding for a reason.”
Savannah glared at me. “I’m sick of hiding, and we’re talking about walking into my own building. I own the company.”
I didn’t care how pissed off she was, as long as she was safe. “And your business partner in that company has gone off the deep end.”
“I make the call,” Kat said sharply. “This is the best plan on the table by a long shot, Hayes. Of course, we’re going with it.”
I scowled at the Aussie asshole. Somehow I was sure this was all his fault.
“I just spent the past week reading HEAT policies and regulations,” I said. “Lot of language in there about the severely limited circumstances that allow using a civilian in an operation.”
The table went quiet. Kat slowly set her wineglass on the table. “Hayes, I appreciate your concern. X and I have reviewed the operation plan and the exigent circumstances, and we’re comfortable that the mission meets all HEAT requirements.”
I was being put in my place by my superior about a decision that had already gone up the chain of command. In other words, I was shit out of luck and probably skating on thin ice. Maybe if I hadn’t been pushed beyond the point of exhaustion, I could have handled this properly by participating in the planning session and making my case to Kat before X was briefed. But thanks to Wheeler’s hell course, I’d missed my chance.
Yep, I knew it all came back to that asshole.
“She can’t go alone, though,” I said, choosing a new battle, one I was more likely to win.
“She won’t,” Kat said.
“Good.” I looked at Savannah. “But I’m not letting you out of my sight once we get in there.”
Wheeler leaned forward and blocked my view of her. “You, mate?” He shook his head. “Senior tac operative runs point on a mission like this. Or did you miss that part in the HEAT policies?”
I crossed my arms over my chest and glowered at him. “I think that policy is open to interpretation.”
“Yes, and I’m the one who gets to interpret it.” Kat spoke quietly again, and her message was clear. She was not amused by my combativeness.
“I don’t like the idea of our friend doing this, either, but Wheeler’s good,” Mai said. “He’ll have her back.”
“Swear it on my life, mate,” Wheeler told me. “This is a lot for you. You’ve had a hell of a day. Let’s table it for now, and we’ll get you briefed up in the morning, after some sleep, eh?”
I knew he’d do his best to protect her. And I also knew he was right about my day affecting my reaction. But I still wanted to pummel him. “Yeah, long day,” I said. “I think I’ll call it a night.”
“Ben,” Mai said, “don’t—”
“Don’t what? Cut and run? Why not? It’s what you expect of me.” Christ, I sounded like a toddler, even to myself.
Savannah stood and shook her head. “Ben, you’re not—”
“Please, not now, Sav.” We stared at each other for several heartbeats, then she sat back down without pursuing it. “Sorry, everyone, it really has been a hellacious day. I’m going to take some aspirin and get some sleep.” I nodded to Wheeler. “I’ll see you at 0700, and you can get me up to speed.”
I hightailed it to the stairs. Mai ran to catch up with me.
“Ben, what’s going on? I’ve never seen you like this.”
I hoped she’d take my silence as a hint and go away, but older sisters have a way of being willfully obtuse. She followed me to the second-floor landing, where I stopped and turned to face her. She stood on the step below me, giving me the rare opportunity to stare down at her instead of being nearly on eye level. “No, you probably haven’t seen me like this. As for what’s going on, if you can’t figure it out, I’m not going to explain it.”
I left her there. She had the good sense not to follow me any further. By the time I got to my room, my head pounded, and my stomach churned. I was sick, literally and figuratively, of the questions, the expectation that I would disappoint, the need to hide my feelings for Savannah, the fear of even having feelings for Savannah, all because my own family was forever waiting for me to fail.
Maybe they were right. But maybe it didn’t matter what they thought. The truth I’d been running from all this time wasn’t that my family didn’t believe in me. It was that I didn’t believe in myself.
But I wanted to. God, how I wanted to, because I knew it was the only way I’d be worthy of the thing I wanted most in the world: Savannah’s love.