Chapter 36
Bellini
My truck broke down on my way to Lady Whiskey’s at one on Tuesday afternoon on the near-deserted road we drove into town.
It shuddered and clanked, then blew smoke out of the hood like an erupting volcano.
Even I know that you can’t drive a truck that’s spewing smoke.
I called the mechanic in town—Stephan, who was in my second-grade class.
When Logan had stood up for show-and-share and told everyone he was going to marry me, Stephan had said something about how he wanted a big slice of cake at the wedding and asked whether we would serve pink punch or orange.
Stephan had made the Olympic team for skiing, placed fourth, then blew out his knee and opened a mechanic’s shop. He had two loves—skiing and cars. He had a tow truck, an SUV, and a Corvette. Yes, a Corvette. In Montana. A place where we get buried in snow for months every year.
“Where are you again, Bellini? Gotcha. I know where that is. Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll come tow you on in. How’s your mother feeling? I know that Dr. Brenda stole her uterus.” I heard the low chuckle. “Dr. Brenda shouldn’t be stealing uteruses from unsuspecting patients!”
I assured him my mom was much better without her uterus and said she’d told me only a “prickly witch” should have a uterus like hers.
He agreed. “No prickly witch uteruses. I’ll be there soon, pal. Hey, and great to see you back here. I missed seeing you around.”
“It’s great to be back.” We chitchatted for about twenty minutes as he got ready to go and started driving to meet me, then hung up.
I got out of my truck and leaned against the passenger door.
It was so quiet out here in the country, so peaceful.
The Rocky Mountains, covered in snow, traipsed across the land like earthly giants, the air crisp and cold, but not so cold your nose would freeze and fall off within minutes.
I could hear the trees rustling, the snow crunching. And yet, the sun was out. Funny thing about Montana. It could snow like white blankets were coming on down…and then the sun would pop up, and the bright blue sky would shine down on you. It was a gorgeous day. I took a deep, calming breath.
I missed Logan. When we were young, days like this would see us outside hiking or skiing or having snowball fights with our friends. Or we’d be reading books and playing chess. I smiled. Or we’d be in the back of one of our trucks, rolling around.
I remembered every moment we’d been together these last weeks—how safe and happy I’d felt, so desired and cared for, so excited, too, as if life had opened up for me, and I was truly living.
Being around Logan made me feel like I was living—living with hope, light, and joy—and I understood how much I’d barred myself off from those emotions for years.
After losing Logan, a lonely marriage, a miscarriage, a difficult divorce…
I’d shut down and shut out. I simply hadn’t grasped how much until Logan made me feel like life could sparkle and glow again.
I blinked. A familiar truck was coming down the road.
Was it Logan’s? Was I conjuring him? Was I seeing an illusion?
Sheesh. But this was the road he would drive down after seeing his dad out on his mom’s land.
The truck got closer, and yes; it was him.
I almost felt magical. I’d thought of Logan and—voilà—he’d appeared.
Just like that. I should make magical wishes more often.
“Hi, Bellini.” He stopped his truck and got out, looking rangy and manly and smokin’ hot in his jeans and jacket. “What happened? Did your truck break down?”
“Yes. Hi, Logan. Stephan’s coming to tow me in.” Can I hug you for a long time? Do you want to get in my truck and kiss me? We could probably make love lickety-split before Stephan arrives…
“I’ll drive you into town. Are you going to work?”
“Yes, I am.” I couldn’t help smiling at him. I felt…relief at getting to see him. A deep contentment. Less lonely. But then sadness snuck in, followed by sheer happiness. He was yummy and dear. I laughed as I stared into those eyes that gentled just for me. “I know you’re busy. I can wait.”
“Bellini, I’m not going to leave you out here. You know that.”
I nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“How was Slip-and-Slide Sledding Day?”
I laughed. “Let’s see. I crashed twice. Fell off the sled on the jump and landed on Mickey. Jaxi and I flew off together another time, and I landed on top of her. Helena and I raced down on separate sleds and managed to crash and rolled together like a human snowball.”
“Sounds fun.” He smiled that lovely, sexy smile. I could not look away from that man. He stared back at me as one emotion after another chased across his face. Happiness to see me, sadness, grief, confusion, loss…
Stephan arrived, said hello to both of us, chatted, and got my truck loaded up.
“Thanks for waiting, Logan,” I said.
“I’ll drive you to work.”
“I can go with Stephan.” Why are you so handsome?
“I’ll drive you.” His tone was firm, and I didn’t argue. I thanked Stephan, and he waved as he drove off and said, “See you at the T and A show! You know my band, The Ski Rockers, is playing.” I did. They would be a hit.
Logan opened the door of his truck for me, and I climbed in.
“Looking forward to the Christmas burlesque show?” he asked when he started his truck.
“Yes. Maybe. It’s a chaotic mess right now.
I feel like I’m in a blender, and everything is spinning super-fast, and I can’t keep up.
The other day, I had to talk Mrs. Granger out of doing a striptease.
She said the rules should be changed for her since she’s eighty, and she said she promised to keep her bra on. ”
Logan laughed. “She’s so…eccentric.”
“A group of women in their forties showed me the lyrics for their song, and one line is, ‘We’re done with men. We’d rather sleep with the Grinch again.’ And my uncles say they’re doing a dance wearing red and green sparkling tutus. They will probably bring down the house.”
“Lady Whiskey’s T and A Christmas Burlesque Show is going to be hilarious. Think we need another practice?”
“Yes.” Definitely. We shouldn’t. But I wanted to. “Do you?” Please say yes even though you know we shouldn’t.
“For sure.” He glanced at me and grinned. “I don’t want to drop you. I need more practice working on that.”
I laughed. “I don’t want to drop you either.”
And there we were. Joking about the dance and how Mrs. Kerns had not hesitated to sternly critique us. How we were still scared of her and how we still weren’t competent at different spin/twist moves. “When I roll over your back, I feel like a killer whale, ready to break your bones.”
“You could never break my bones, Bellini. You are not a killer whale.”
“Maybe a shark.”
He shrugged. “You do have sharp teeth.”
Logan’s phone rang, and he put it on speaker. “Sorry. I have to take this. It’s a nurse for my dad. I was just there, and she was leaving shortly.”
“Logan, your father isn’t doing well,” said the woman, older and firm, no-nonsense.
“I think you should come back. It happened all the sudden. One minute, he was okay—well, as okay as your dad can be with his major health issues and with his general snippy and complaining attitude—and the next, he wasn’t. ”
“What’s wrong?”
“He’s having trouble breathing. Sounds like a gasping fish.
I told him I want to take him to the hospital, but he’s refusing.
I called his doctor, and the doctor told him to come in, but he won’t go.
He said he’s done with doctors and their quackery, and he also told me that I’m fat and stupid.
I have to go and take care of another patient who is not nearly as obstinate as your father, so you’re up, Logan. Brace yourself.”
“I’m sorry, LaRue,” Logan said. “All right. I’m fifteen minutes out. I’m coming.”
He hung up and said, “Any chance you would like to see my dad?”
“No, I wouldn’t. You can drop me off here.”
“I’m not going to drop you off in the middle of nowhere. I’ll drop you off at the bar. I wouldn’t want to see him if I were you either. I think I wanted…”
“What? What did you want?”
He paused for long seconds. “Your company.”
Those words sat heavily in the car. But he knew his father didn’t like me. His father had been clear with him and with me.
His phone rang again. It was his father. “Hi, Dad. LaRue said you’re not feeling well.”
“I’ve had better damn days,” he wheezed. “She is fat and stupid. Where are you?”
“I’m near town, but I’m driving back out to get you and take you to the hospital.”
“I’m not going to the hospital. Doctors don’t know nothing. Fancy degrees and they couldn’t find their own brain unless you tapped them on the head. Go and get that girl.”
Logan stiffened, his eyes narrowing. His father was such a disagreeable man.
“What girl, Dad?”
“Bellini. Go and get her and bring her here.”
“I’m with Bellini now.”
“You are? What the hell?” He paused as if thinking things through. “Bring her.”
I shook my head.
“No, Dad. She doesn’t want to come, and I don’t want you around her. We are both aware that you don’t like her.”
“Can she hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Bellini.” His voice was clipped, demanding.
“Yes?”
“How are you?”
“Fine.”
“Come out with Logan and see me. I don’t have much time left, and I’d like to see you again.”
“I’m afraid I can’t. I’m busy.”
“Busy? Doing what?”
“I’m pouring myself a vodka tonic.”
“You don’t drink.”
“I will start drinking if I have to visit you.”
“Your manners are poor, as usual.”
“Do not talk to her like that, Dad,” Logan snapped, that very rare temper flashing. “You talk to her with respect, or I’m hanging up.”
“All right. I’m sorry,” Drake said, his wheezy voice milder, maybe even…gentler. “I would like to see you, Bellini. Please come.”
“I don’t have good memories of our conversations, Drake, because of your difficult, venomous personality, so I’m going to skip seeing you in favor of trying to find spiders.”