6. Sam
Chapter 6
Sam
S am stared out the truck window and pondered the merits of lobotomy.
They’d finished breakfast a few minutes ago, and were on their way to Monroe to pick up his car and any of his clothing or important belongings that were salvageable.
The drive was quiet, giving Sam plenty of room to catastrophize the morning’s events. That was saying a lot, considering someone wrecked a car into his apartment last night.
What the fuck had he been thinking, telling Silas the truth about his job? He had a plan, goddammit.
He’d quickly finish editing his latest audio recording while Silas was busy outside, they’d go get his car and some clothes that fit him and didn’t smell so fucking good, and then he’d leave.
Where he went when he left was future Sam’s problem. He just needed to go, before he spent any more time around Silas and his big brown eyes and rumbling laugh.
When he woke up this morning, cozy and comfortable in Silas’ bed, everything that’d happened the night before rushed back. The feel of those giant arms holding him close when Sam was so vulnerable would be burned into his body forever.
He wouldn’t be surprised if he found tattooed handprints where Silas had touched him.
Sam wasn’t new to sex. Blowing off steam through casual hookups had gotten him through those first few years on his own after moving Jaime and Alfie out of their dad’s house.
He’d never resented his choice to leave; never balked at making sure Jaime knew he was cared for. He fucking deserved that. Sam had twelve years with their mom, but Jaime only had eight. None of it was fair, but he’d done his best to make sure his brother knew what real love felt like.
Still, it’d been a lot for him to manage at nineteen, and he’d needed an outlet. So what had happened last night with Silas shouldn’t have phased him. It hadn’t even been sexual.
Maybe that was the crux of it, though. Sam was familiar with casual physical touch, but not intimacy.
Everything with Silas was intimate.
Hell, talking about chocolate chip pancakes felt intimate. And that just wasn’t going to work, since Sam had sworn he’d stay away and keep his issues with Cain to himself.
Hidden. Forever.
But then Silas had stormed in on him, catching him in the act of editing audio on his phone with his stupidly good hearing and confusing Sam by standing very close, sweaty from chopping wood and making him have feelings.
When Silas had pleaded with him to be honest for once, Sam had sort of… folded.
He blamed those goddamn sleeveless hoodies; Sam couldn’t think clearly with Silas’ big, beefy biceps just there to look at, for free.
Who the fuck cuts the sleeves off a hoodie, anyway? What was the point? Especially when Silas was in his partial shift, and the garment barely stretched across his shoulders at all.
And why did he insist on wearing one all the time? Did he walk around in public like that? He’d have everyone within a twenty-mile radius lined up to get a look-see.
Irrational jealousy burned in Sam’s chest at the thought. At least Silas hadn’t worn one to breakfast.
Maybe Sam would throw them all out before he left.
The awful truth was, though… Sam felt better for telling Silas about his job. Lighter. Like by sharing a part of himself he’d kept hidden, it was set free.
He’d never needed the world to know or accept him, but he’d also never intended to keep his job a secret for so long. Somehow, though, it’d just built and built and turned into this thing that felt like too much to share with Jaime or anyone else all at once.
A part of him had almost hoped Silas would shame him for it. At least then, he’d have an easy reason to tell him to fuck off and never think about him again.
Of course, Silas hadn’t done that. He hadn’t given him one of those “to each their own” reactions, either.
He’d liked it.
The heat burning in his gaze hadn’t lied. But even more than that… he’d asked Sam if he was happy doing it. Like the way it made Sam feel mattered more than Silas’ opinion of it.
Sam had never experienced that with anyone. He’d never known what it felt like to have someone focused on making sure he was taken care of, not the other way around.
He hated how much he loved it.
Silas’ phone rang through the truck speakers and broke through Sam’s inner turmoil. “Not again,” he groaned. “Why does the world fall apart when you and I get breakfast? Can’t we eat in peace?”
Silas chuckled. “It’s Sheppard, not Finn. No cross-state rescue missions on our agenda today.”
Sam smiled. He liked hearing Silas’ laugh. Listening to him talk about pulling cactus prickles out of his ass while having explosive diarrhea would be the highlight of Sam’s whole year.
“Hey Shep, I’m here with Sammy. What’s up?”
“Silas, Sam. So, Gabe called. Something’s come up, and he’d like you to come into the station.”
Sam tensed up. “I’m not stepping foot into that building without a lawyer.”
He knew Sheppard was a good guy, but he clearly had a thing going on with the DA. He may trust them, but his judgment was skewed. Sam would never forget the way those detectives had Jaime cornered, traumatized, and still coated in a dead woman’s blood.
Fuck them.
“Uh, it’s actually not about last night. He was asking for Silas to come in.”
Silas’ brows knit together. “Me? Why does he need to talk to me?”
Sheppard sighed. “Gabe isn’t the one asking for you, someone else is. They found him nearly dead on the side of the highway about an hour ago. When he woke up, the only thing he’d say was your name, Alpha Silas. Over and over.” He lowered his voice. “He’s a shifter, Si. And he smells like Salt Creek.”
Sitting next to Jaime back inside the Monroe police station was a trip down memory lane Sam did not want to take.
“Is this weird for you?” Jaime asked, shifting uncomfortably.
“Super fucking weird,” Sam said. Turning to look at him, he continued, “We don’t have to stay if it’s upsetting you. I’ll wait with you outside.”
Jaime shook his head. “No, I’m good. Thanks. I’d rather know what’s going on firsthand, you know?”
Sam did know. It was the only reason he’d agreed to come; agreed to sit and wait while they brought out this Salt Creek wolf who wouldn’t say anything except Silas’ name.
The timing was suspicious as fuck, with Sam being back in Silas’ orbit after the wreck last night, but he couldn’t voice that out loud or he’d risk tipping someone off that he was more involved in Cain’s business than he should be.
Yes, it was true he wasn’t aware of anyone who wanted him dead, but the fact that he owed an outstanding favor to a creep like Cain was probably something Jaime and Silas would have considered relevant in the grand scheme of things.
Sitting on Sam’s other side, Silas could almost pass for relaxed if not for his incessant knee jiggling. Finn alternated between shooting looks that could kill at anyone who walked by, and giving Silas those sad puppy eyes.
Sam exhaled and knocked his shoulder into Silas’. “It’ll be ok. We’ve gotten worse phone calls. Besides, we actually got to eat breakfast this time. Although it’s probably best we hadn’t before, in hindsight.”
Silas laughed and leaned back, his shoulders relaxing. He casually rested his arm behind Sam along the bench.
Casually. It was all very casual.
If Silas could be casual, so could Sam.
Casually, he leaned into where Silas’ arm rested. Because he was cold, dammit. That’s all. And if he was sitting in this stupid police station he might as well at least be comfortable.
That rumbling noise Silas sometimes made started up.
Jaime coughed, and Finn put a hand over his mouth to cover a shit-eating grin.
“Are you sure you don’t need to go to the bathroom?” Sam asked.
Silas cleared his throat, but the rumbling didn’t stop. “Uh, no. That’s not my stomach.”
Well, that was vaguely alarming. “If that’s not your stomach, then you should get that checked out. That’s not normal.”
Jaime and Finn snorted at the same time. “I told you they purr,” Jaime whispered, schooling his features.
“I thought you said that was a sex thing,” Sam replied.
“Jesus Christ.” Finn stood up and paced away, the laughter he failed to choke down echoing through the waiting area.
Jaime blushed. “No. You assumed it was a sex thing. Which… kind of. But hey, every guy’s different. Apparently, Silas just purrs more than Finn.”
“Alright, can we please not compare purrs?” Silas begged, a pained look on his face.
“Please,” Finn echoed, sitting back down next to Jaime.
“Hey, I didn’t start this. You’re the one purring in a public lobby,” Sam grouched, folding his arms. And if he tucked a little bit further into Silas’ casual arm while he did it, well, that was his business.
Silas purred louder.
Sheppard and the DA appeared from a back hallway. “Ok you four, he’s cleaned up a bit and ready to see you. Just try not to startle him too much.”
“Goody…” Sam mumbled.
Sam hated him immediately.
Like, actually hated him.
He hated his stupid heart-shaped face and button nose and the starry-eyed way he stared at Silas, like by sweeping in and saving the day, Silas had made everything in the world right again.
“Alpha Silas,” the petite, dark-haired man breathed.
Gag me.
“Um, it’s just Silas.”
Sam hated the gentle way Silas spoke, being careful not to startle the doe-eyed pretty thing.
“Now that Silas is here,” the DA said, “can you tell us your name? Or how you ended up out on the highway? Or where those scratches all over your arms came from?”
God, even his don’t worry, I’m your friend and here to help schtick wasn’t as irritating as the way the newcomer’s eyes kept darting back to Silas.
“It’s not safe here,” he said, shaking his head back and forth frantically and pulling his sleeves down to cover the deep gashes along his forearms. “We’re not in Alpha Silas’ territory. He’ll find us here. He’ll find me here.”
“Who will find you?” Sheppard asked. “Cain? Is he the one who did that to you?”
The wolf just shook his head again, trembling. “We’re not safe until we’re in the alpha’s territory. Please.”
Silas sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do you have somewhere you can go? Family or friends who aren’t in Salt Creek?”
The newcomer shook his head again. “No one. They’re all—I don’t have anyone. And he’ll find me, anyway. He’ll find me outside of your territory. It’s the only place that’s safe.”
Silas’ brows pinched. “I don’t know what you mean, I haven’t established a territory.”
“I think you have though, Si,” Finn said quietly. “I think he means Silver Rapids.”
The wolf nodded frantically. “Yes. He can’t find me there. Asylum, Alpha. Please, I invoke asylum.”
Something odd rippled through the wolves in the room, a shimmer of energy at this stranger’s demand. Silas, Finn, and Sheppard all stood taller, like an invisible string had yanked them to attention.
Sam and Jaime shared a look of caution.
Another heavy sigh left Silas, and Sam knew what he was about to offer before he even spoke.
He’d just done the same thing for Sam, after all.
“You can come and stay in Finn’s old room until you’re up to talking or until you find somewhere else to go. How’s that sound?” Silas said.
The stranger nodded his head quickly. “Thank you. Thank you, Alpha Silas.”
Sam’s chest felt tight, like fingers had reached in and were squeezing, twisting his heart around. Of course, Silas stepped in and offered the beautiful wolf a place to stay. Of course, he had to make everything better. It’s just what he fucking did.
For everyone.
Sam had never been special. It’d never been about knowing him, or caring for him, or asking if the things in his life made him happy. It’d been about keeping a watchful eye on him. That’s all. How he’d managed to forget that in less than twenty-four hours, Sam had no idea.
He wouldn’t forget it again.
Silas would probably carry this sweet, innocent-looking thing into the house the same way he’d held Sam. He’d probably ask Sam to move to the guest room so Silas could care for the wolf in his room.
In his bed.
And this other man was already far more docile and willing to be saved. Did Silas like that? Would he have preferred Sam if he groveled and simpered and batted his eyelashes in that soft help me way?
Stop. Stop it.
It’d never mattered, anyway. Sam would be gone in a day or two, leaving the brown-eyed beauty and Silas alone to their own devices.
The thought tasted like bile in the back of his throat. He shouldn’t have eaten all those pancakes.
The DA looked reluctant to agree to Silas’ offer. He motioned for them all to step out of the room with him. “Give us just a minute, please,” he said to the newcomer.
Sheppard, Finn, and Jaime all filed out ahead of Sam.
Silas put his arm out as if to guide him through the door together, but Sam sidestepped the gesture and walked ahead.
Once out in the deserted hallway, they all gathered close, speaking in hushed tones. “Detective Sutton isn’t going to be happy when she hears we picked up a half-alive person on the side of the highway and let him go home with you,” the DA said. “Not when we’re looking for someone who fits that description concerning last night’s wreck,” he motioned to Sam.
Silas shuffled a step closer, but Sam lifted his chin and leaned away from the contact.
“He’s a shifter, though,” Jaime said. “If he was injured last night he’d be long healed, wouldn’t he?”
“I’d think so, but honestly, I’ve never seen anything like that,” Silas said. “Even if he was cut up right before you found him, he should be healing, and he’s not.”
Sheppard shook his head. “The entire situation is strange. Invoking asylum is archaic. Old magic. Most people wouldn’t even know to do it.”
“Magic?” Sam asked.
Sheppard nodded. “There’s so much about pack dynamics that we just don’t know anymore. Traditions that used to be a part of everyday life, or to aid in power struggles among pack territories. There are still some packs that maintain that knowledge, but they probably wouldn’t be keen on sharing it.”
“Even so, his injuries don’t look like they came from a car wreck,” Finn said. “They look like claw marks.”
“So you think Cain did that? And then dumped him on the side of the road, half dead? Why?” The DA asked.
Silas shook his head and subtly pressed his arm into Sam. “I’m not sure, but I don’t feel great about leaving him to fend for himself if he’s fleeing Salt Creek. He can rest until he’s up to talking or finds somewhere else to go.”
Sheppard sighed. “Buck will be in town in a few days. I had planned to let him settle in first, but if you’re comfortable keeping an eye on this guy until then, Buck can step in when he arrives.”
Who the fuck was Buck?
Silas stared at Sheppard for a moment before the confusion on his face cleared. “Fuck, I forgot all about that.”
“Who’s Buck?” Finn asked, and Sam felt a little better that he wasn’t the last one to find something out. Again.
“I completely forgot to tell you after I got back last night,” Silas said before Sheppard cut in.
“I’ve hired someone new to join the team. He’s on a trial run to start, but if he’s a good fit, he’ll be our primary lead on traveling jobs.”
Finn reached over to take Jaime’s hand. “And you trust him?” he asked.
Sheppard nodded. “With my life.”
Finn gave him a hard look for a few seconds before his forehead smoothed out. “Alright,” he said, nodding.
Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Sam was glad Jaime had fallen in love with a man who could protect him with claws and teeth, even if they hadn’t started on the best of terms.
The DA still looked wary. “We don’t have any proof he was involved in the wreck, and he hasn’t done anything wrong, but I still think it’s odd.”
“What do you have to go on from last night?” Sam asked.
The DA sighed. “A couple of your neighbors saw someone run off into the trees immediately after the wreck. They all described them as a young, thin male. Possibly a teenager, with light blonde hair.” Clearly, he wasn’t as tight-lipped as Detective Sutton.
“That doesn’t match, then. This guy’s got dark hair, and he’s not a teenager,” Silas said.
DA Rivera shrugged. “Eye witness accounts aren’t usually very reliable. There was also a cell phone left in the passenger seat,” he said. “It’s password protected, and the warrant took a bit to put together so we don’t have an identity yet, but I don’t expect it will be long. It’ll be something better to go on.”
Sam nodded. “Good. And my apartment? Is it still blocked off?”
The DA grimaced. “Yes, it’s going to be a few more days on that, too. They’re sorting through the debris to make sure we don’t miss something that came from the car.”
Great. Fucking great.
“And my car?” he asked through gritted teeth.
DA Rivera shook his head. “That whole section of the complex is closed off.”
Sam hated feeling trapped, and he hated the idea of staying to watch Silas take care of someone else, but he wouldn’t become even more of a burden to Jaime than he already was.
Until he had his car back, he had nowhere else to go.
They ushered the injured wolf—Riley, he’d said his name was—out of the police station. On their way to the truck, Silas hooked Sam by the elbow and pulled him aside.
“If you’re not ok with this, tell me. We can figure something else out,” he said, leaning close and speaking low.
We can figure something else out.
Meaning Sam could find somewhere else to go.
He pulled his arm from Silas’ grip and turned his back so he wouldn’t see how much that hurt, even though it shouldn’t. “It doesn’t matter. It’s your house; I’ll be gone in a few days anyway.”
The ride back to Silas’ was possibly the most awkward half-hour Sam had ever endured.
After the police station, they’d stopped off at a store for Sam to pick up a few changes of clothes and some toiletries that Silas didn’t already have. He’d thrown in a couple of things for Riley, too, since apparently he’d be staying at Silas’ now, and Sam wasn’t a complete asshole.
Sam had insisted he was fine to run in on his own, but Silas had followed anyway. Since they’d only be a few minutes, they’d locked Riley in the truck with the heater running and a window cracked.
It had taken every ounce of restraint Sam possessed not to ask if they should leave out a bowl of water, too.
Once back on the road and headed for Silver Rapids, he flat-out refused to engage in the small talk Silas tried to make with them both, and Riley only gave soft, one or two-word answers from where he sat curled up in the back seat. Otherwise, he’d just stared out the window until they pulled into Silas’ driveway.
Sam was going to get a crick in his neck from how tense he’d been, pointedly not looking at Silas, who kept shooting worried glances his way the whole drive.
Maybe he was trying to figure out how to politely kick Sam out so he could be alone with Riley.
The thought made the backs of Sam’s eyes burn.
He all but dove out of the truck when Silas came to a stop, putting as much distance between them as he could so he wouldn’t witness Riley’s grand entrance into Silas’ home.
Had it only been last night that Silas carried Sam up the stairs to bed? It felt like a lifetime ago, even if he could still feel where Silas’ hands had been.
But because Sam was born only to suffer, he had to stand and wait for Silas to unlock the front door, with Riley walking up the porch steps close behind.
Silas pushed the door open over Sam’s head, and he darted for the stairs so he could shut himself in the guest room before Silas had to ask him to move there.
“Riley, make yourself comfortable. We’ll be down for lunch in a few minutes,” Silas said. Then, the sound of his footsteps hurried upstairs after Sam.
Before he could open the door to the guest room, though, a large, calloused hand caught his arm and pulled him back into Silas’ room. The snick of the door shutting echoed loud in the quiet.
“Would you stop running away from me? What is the matter? Everything was fine, and then, what? What happened? What did I do wrong?” Silas asked, his voice distant thunder and boulders.
Sam tilted his chin up in that haughty way he knew burrowed under Silas’ skin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”
Silas’ eyes narrowed, and a clawed finger came up to point at him. “That. Don’t do that. I thought we were past lying to each other.”
Sam felt pinned beneath Silas’ gaze, squirming around with nowhere to go. He always saw too fucking much.
“How do you know you can trust anything that guy says?” Sam whisper-shouted, the words spilling out. “This could all be some plot Cain orchestrated. Send over the pretty wolf in distress who’s begging for Alpha Silas’ help; he won’t be able to resist. And you’re falling right into it! You brought him home! ”
Silas carded his fingers through his loose hair, tugging on the ends. “I don’t trust him, but he invoked asylum. There are rules about that. I think. I’m just trying to…” he paused, shuffling a step closer to Sam, his eyes pleading for understanding. “My parents depended on others to make their escape safe. I won’t turn away someone looking to do the same. But if you aren’t comfortable with it, we can figure something else out.”
Shame flared up the back of Sam’s neck. Silas would always do the good thing, the right thing, and Sam clearly had no place in that.
Silas would find somewhere else for him to go.
“Fine,” he choked out. “Give me a few days to get my car back, and I’ll leave you two alone so you can give him your clothes or tuck him into your bed or light a bunch of candles and dance around the living room together, or whatever other kind of romantic shit you want to do. I don’t care.”
Silas’ face knitted in confusion. “What the fuck are you talking about? Romance ? Sammy, the man looks like one strong gust of wind would blow him away. We’re just giving him a place to sleep until Buck can take over. That’s all.”
“Why bother sending him away? He’s already safe right here with you, Alpha Silas, ” Sam seethed.
He hated the words coming out of his mouth. Hated that he sounded like a jealous, insecure ex-lover, but he couldn’t stop. “Hey, maybe he’s that mate you’ve been looking for. Once I’m gone, you can?—”
Sam didn’t get to finish his sentence.
In one large stride, Silas had Sam pinned back against the wall, all the air in his lungs whooshing out from the hot press of Silas’ torso against his.
“Let me make one thing very fucking clear, love,” Silas growled into Sam’s ear.
Goosebumps erupted along his arms, and he felt every place their bodies touched spark and flare with electricity. Silas’ forearms were pressed up by Sam’s face, bracketing him in and forcing his gaze up so he had nowhere to look except right into Silas’ near-black eyes.
“The only reason Riley is here right now is because Sheppard doesn’t have someone else to keep an eye on him. I won’t have his death on my conscience if I could have done something to prevent it.”
Sam’s gaze drifted to Silas’ lips as he spoke. If he leaned forward just slightly, his kiss would fall between Silas’ pecs.
His cock chubbed up at that simmering image.
“So that’s why you took me in, then? Because you’re the hero alpha, and I was the lost little lamb you wouldn’t have on your conscience? Well, I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed you, but Riley seems much more receptive to the hero schtick. Maybe you should try tucking him into your bed and see if he’s better at being saved than I am.”
Flames danced in Silas’ gaze, and he leaned down so their foreheads were pressed together as he spoke, canines flashing. “You are no lamb, Sammy Lamont, and I don’t ever want you to act like one for my sake. You’re as much a wolf as I am. And I brought you into my home, into my bed, because it was the only option I could even remotely tolerate. Because it was fucking inevitable. Because having you—just as you are, with all those sharp claws and biting words and secrets—right here with me has always been inevitable.”
Silas brought a claw-tipped hand up to trace the delicate curve of Sam’s ear, the gentleness in stark contrast to the intensity in his eyes.
“And he is not my mate.”
Then Silas was gone, shutting the door behind him and stealing all the air in the room, leaving Sam bereft and hollow in his wake.