7. Silas
Chapter 7
Silas
I t took Buck four more days to arrive.
Sammy was subdued after their confrontation. Silas was afraid he’d scared him off again, that he’d revealed too much, too soon, but Sammy hadn’t run. He hadn’t tried to avoid Silas, either. He just seemed reflective; like he needed space after the whirlwind of the last couple of days.
When Silas had finally realized Sammy was upset because he was comparing himself to Riley, imagining that Silas would treat the Salt Creek shifter in the same way he’d cared for Sammy, he’d needed to clarify.
Hey, maybe he’s that mate you’ve been looking for.
Almost.
With the lightning-bright feel of Sammy’s body all pressed up against his own and those ten-thousand leagues deep green eyes staring up at him, Silas had almost corrected him.
He’d been a heartbeat away from proclaiming that he’d already put his mate in his bed where he belonged, and no one else would ever be welcome again.
But the sound of Sammy’s rejection last spring still rang in his ears whenever he laid down to sleep, like a haunted lullaby.
I don’t want you.
If Sammy knew he was Silas’ mate and still turned away, he would never recover. So, he’d kept his mouth shut.
It was not lost on him that this was directly in contradiction to the advice he’d given Finn when he’d had his own crisis over revealing the truth about shifters and the mate bond to Jaime, but it’d been obvious to everyone except each other that they were already head over heels in love.
Plus, Jaime and Sammy were not the same person.
Still, Silas may have gone a little overboard in clarifying. His response had been reserved compared to how his wolf had wanted to demonstrate his feelings for Sammy, though.
He’s ours. Ours.
Bring him firewood and toothbrushes and conditioner and give him our knot so he knows he’s our mate.
Show Sammy he is our mate.
Show him.
Silas’ preferred method started with shoving his tongue down Sammy’s throat to stop the nonsense spewing out of his mouth, and ended… Well, actually, he and his wolf hadn’t really disagreed in that regard.
But in the following days, he gave Sammy the space he needed, recognizing how overwhelming everything had been since the wreck.
Silas had insisted Sammy stay in his room for now, and the quietly pleased look on his face followed by a tentative “ok,” was worth the backache from sleeping on the lumpy pile of laundry a hundred times over.
The guest room was also situated between his bedroom and Finn’s old room, where Riley was staying. Silas wouldn’t be able to sleep if he wasn’t physically separating Sammy and the Salt Creek shifter, so it made sense anyway.
It makes the most sense to sleep in our bed with our mate, his wolf grumbled.
It’s truly a joy to share a brain with you, Silas grumbled back.
Riley may appear non-threatening, but Silas would never take that chance, even if all the waif-like shifter had done since he’d arrived was sleep for nearly seventy-two hours straight.
Every time Silas went to drop off food and water, the previous plate would be licked clean, and all the water gulped down, but Riley would be fast asleep again. He was starting to look a little less like a tumbleweed blowing in the wind and more alive than he had when he’d first arrived, but the claw marks on his arms weren’t healing.
“Some are scarring over, others still look fresh. I’ve never seen anything like it,” Silas told Sheppard over the phone a couple of days later.
Sheppard sighed. “I’ll make some calls. Shifter doctors are pretty rare, but maybe someone will know how to help.”
“He’s eating and sleeping fine, at least. Maybe that’s all he needs?”
“Maybe,” Sheppard said. “I’ll let you know what I hear.”
Other than waking up to eat every few hours, Riley hadn’t done anything. He hadn’t even explained why he’d left Salt Creek.
How Sammy could have misconstrued the situation as romantic, Silas would never understand.
Sometimes he forgot how much more information he was privy to with his nose and ears and heightened senses. It was obvious to him that Riley wasn’t attracted to him, and he certainly had no interest in the shifter.
But Sammy couldn’t glean that with his human sense of smell the way Silas could. And while it was clear that Riley wasn’t interested in him, Silas couldn’t help but notice that Sammy definitely was.
Especially when he wore one of his old sleeveless hoodies.
He may or may not have pulled a few more out of the depths of his closet to wear around the house just to get a rise out of him. Although that decision backfired spectacularly when Sammy seemingly caught on to Silas’ game, and started playing one of his own.
After their first morning of taking turns using the shower in Silas’ room, Sammy started wearing fewer and fewer clothes as he emerged from the steamy bathroom. The first time, he smirked as he walked past shirtless, with a pair of fitted grey joggers slung low on his hips.
The imprint of his cock hanging heavy would be burned on the backs of Silas’ eyelids forever.
Newly enlightened, or maybe burdened, with the knowledge that Sammy was thick everywhere , Silas took himself in hand under the hot shower spray and painted the tile with stripes of cum.
He wished he’d come all over Sammy’s soft belly instead, marking him. Then, he’d lap it up before following that happy trail all the way down to drink his orgasm from the thick cockhead he’d been teased with.
The next day, Sammy emerged with his hair still dripping wet, naked except for a towel wrapped around his hips.
Stunned into stillness, Silas tracked the beads of water as they slipped down the broad planes of his skin like a predator locked in on the hunt.
Peering over his shoulder, Sammy smirked again. “Sorry I took a little longer this time, hopefully there’s enough hot water left.”
Silas gulped and wordlessly strode into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him before he suggested they shower together from now on.
To conserve hot water, obviously.
He nearly had to chain himself to the sink when he scented what remained of Sammy’s own shower jerk-off session still lingering in the steamy air.
What had he thought of to bring himself over the edge? Had his cum slipped down the same rivulets Silas’ had the day before?
He hoped so.
Silas wanted to put his mouth where Sammy’s had been on his morning coffee mug; he wanted to bury his face in his pillow after Sammy slept on it, and wrap himself in the blanket Sammy left on the sofa, feeling his lingering warmth against his skin.
He wanted to lick where their cum had sprayed all over the tile, so he knew what they tasted like together.
Fuck. Silas was going to rub himself raw like a horny teenager if he didn’t stop thinking about it.
This push and pull between them had Silas’ wolf clawing and scratching to be set free, to take what was his, but Silas’ functional brain knew better.
The embers they stirred together were still tender, and Silas wouldn’t chase Sammy off again by thinking with his dick, especially once he noticed the quiet little things happening around the house. Considering Riley was asleep most of the time, they could only be attributed to Sammy.
After grumbling all day about his second night sleeping on the lumpy pile of clean clothes in the guest room, a plight Silas was well aware he could remedy on his own, he went to bed that night only to find they had all been folded and stacked neatly on the dresser, waiting to be put away.
Silas would search for his water bottle to refill, only to find it’d already been topped up. When he stepped into the bathroom after yet another teasing display from Sammy, he found a fresh towel hung over the air vent, clean and warm and ready for him.
Just this morning, a steaming mug of coffee had been waiting for Silas on the kitchen counter, with the exact amount of creamer he preferred already poured.
He’d nearly wept.
Sammy looked after the people he cared for through his actions, rather than flowery words. Silas had clocked this months ago after Sammy revealed that he’d stayed away from Jaime because of a stalker.
So he was awed by each small act of kindness, warmth spreading through him with every find that was altogether different and deeper than the burning desire he felt seeing Sammy in nothing but a towel.
Was this what it would feel like to be loved by Sammy, even just a little?
It gave Silas hope.
Hope that Sammy felt something for him, and maybe, someday, that little bit of something could turn into more.
Which made the day they picked up Sammy’s car even more terrifying.
“That was the detective,” Sammy said after he’d stepped away to take a phone call. They’d just finished takeout from Andi’s for dinner on the third evening since he’d come to stay. “I can have my car back now. And go through my things.”
Silas held his breath, unsure how to casually convey that the thought of existing in this house without Sammy made it hard to breathe.
“Cool,” he settled on, before clearing his throat. “Want me to come along and help? We can go in the morning. I’ll call and have Finn or Sheppard come over to keep an eye on Riley.”
“Yeah. Yeah, I think that sounds good,” Sammy replied, and Silas told himself not to read too much into the reluctant hesitation in Sammy’s voice, like maybe he wasn’t that keen on leaving either.
Almost nothing was salvageable.
Between the damage from the initial crash and being exposed to the elements for four days, there was very little left of Sammy’s worldly possessions that could be saved.
His bedroom had also been on the front side of the small apartment, just off the living room, and a portion of the exterior wall had collapsed, either from the initial crash or when they pulled the car out.
If Sammy’s belongings hadn’t ended up smashed under debris, they’d been damaged from freezing and thawing as daytime and nighttime temperatures fluctuated. He’d scrounged a few boxes worth of clothes, toiletries, and pictures and mementos that weren’t broken—including the painting Jaime had done of Sam’s beloved dog, Alfie.
Otherwise, he left everything to be demolished and thrown out.
Sammy had been on the phone with his insurance company and the apartment complex off and on for the past few days, trying to get his security deposit back and filing all the appropriate claims, but none of that happened quickly.
He’d rooted around for his laptop and recording equipment, only to find it all completely busted under what was left of the coffee table.
“The first time you called me, I let it go to voicemail,” Sammy said, his voice muffled in the biting wind rushing through the open walls.
They’d had a little snow overnight, but nothing like what had usually accumulated by this time of year. A big weather system was supposed to move in soon, though.
Silas peered up from where he was rummaging through the books that’d become damp and then froze in the recent snow. “The wreck hadn’t happened yet?”
“No, not yet. I wasn’t in the right headspace to talk to you. I left my phone in the kitchen,” Sammy gestured behind Silas, away from the heart of the damage.
Silas stayed quiet, sensing Sammy needed to talk through those moments in his own time.
“But I kept hearing something scrounging around on my front doorstep,” Sammy continued. “It was freaking me out. I thought it might be… I didn’t know what it was. So I walked over to the living room window to peer out.”
Silas sucked in a breath.
“And then you called me again.”
Silas couldn’t place the look on Sammy’s face. Grief, maybe? Fear? Gratitude? He was composed, and then he wasn’t; the swell of emotion was sudden, crumpling his features.
He began to sob, standing among the rubble that had been his home.
Silas strode over and wrapped him up in his arms, curling in as if he could engulf Sammy and shield him from the fear of what could’ve been.
“I walked back into the kitchen to answer it. If you hadn’t called me again…” Sammy choked out, fingers bunching in Silas’ hoodie. “I would’ve… I’d be…”
“Shh. Shh. It’s alright, love. Let it out,” Silas crooned, petting the back of Sammy’s head while he continued to cry.
Fuck. He should’ve realized how emotional this would be. He’d only been focused on whether or not Sammy would actually come home with him after this, or whether he’d drive off and Silas would never see him again. He should’ve known this would be difficult.
“Why did you call me again? Why did you keep calling?” Sammy asked, the tears in his eyes reflecting like the rarest emeralds.
Careful, Silas.
He had no intention of lying to Sammy, he just wasn’t sure he could explain the overwhelming sense of urgency and dread he’d had that night. It’d felt like if he didn’t get to Sammy right now , nothing else would ever matter again.
“I… sensed something. I don’t know if I can explain it. I just knew I needed to come see you. I started calling when I was on my way, and got worried when you didn’t pick up.”
There. That was all true. It wasn’t even close to the entirety of what had happened that horrible night, but it was true.
Sammy’s hands grasped Silas’ hoodie tighter. “However you knew, thank you. And thank you for letting me stay with you. I don’t think I said that before, and I should have.”
Silas’ chest began to rumble, and he held on tighter. “Oh Sammy, you don’t have to thank me for that.”
Sammy released his hold on Silas and stepped out of his arms, wiping at his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize everything would be so overwhelming. I guess I didn’t think it would be like this,” he said, gesturing to the destruction around them.
Silas guided him out of the rubble, grasping his waist so that he wouldn’t trip. “I didn’t either. I wasn’t paying attention to the damage when I got here, I was just focused on getting to you.”
Sammy chuckled, some levity back in his voice after the emotional upheaval. “You broke through the wall. For a second I thought it was another car.”
Silas chuffed. “Walls won’t stop me, love.”
All the walls you throw up around that heart of yours won’t stop me. I’ll wait forever for them to crumble.
Sammy stopped walking and looked up at him, almost like he’d heard Silas’ thoughts. He opened his mouth to speak, and suddenly Silas was terribly afraid of what he was going to say next. They’d already gone through the wreckage, all that was left now was to get his car and drive it wherever Sammy wanted to go.
“So, can I?—”
Before Sammy could finish his question, though, Silas’ phone rang.
Sammy huffed. “I’m starting to take that personally. We can’t go anywhere.”
Silas wanted to kiss the adorably put-out look off his face. “It’s probably just Finn telling us to be back for lunch soon because he’s made something delicious.”
It wasn’t Finn’s name on the caller ID though, and a smile was already stretching Silas’ face when he hit the speaker button and answered, “Hey Mom, how are you?”
“When are you boys coming to see me?” she asked instead of a greeting.
Silas chuckled and threw his arm over Sammy’s shoulders. “Today or tomorrow at the latest, I promise. We’re just waiting on this new guy Sheppard hired to arrive, and then we’ll be there.”
“Good. I’ve made a massive trip to the grocery store, so tell Finn he can cook us all something wonderful with whatever he finds. And I got those cheddar brats you enjoy so much. And we’ll have a roast for lunch on Sunday.”
Silas groaned. “Fu—I mean, heck yes, that all sounds wonderful.”
“Your father cleared out your old rooms so Finn and Jaime and you and your… Sammy will have somewhere to stay.”
Shit.
Silas had been meaning to ask Sammy if he would come, he just hadn’t found the right time. The words became all tangled and mushed up in his head whenever he thought of taking Sammy home to meet his parents, especially when he wasn’t even sure if Sammy was going to stick around or leave again.
“Uhh…” Silas palmed the back of his neck and found Sammy’s gaze peering up at him in question. “Thanks. Yeah, I’ll talk to him. We’re all looking forward to coming,” he said, cringing.
“We’re so excited to meet them both,” she said, and the warmth in her voice made Silas want to melt into the ground.
“Can’t wait. I’ve gotta go, but I’ll text you guys the plan when we know what time we’re leaving,” he said.
“Alright. We love you. See you soon,” she said, and the silence after Silas hung up was so loud you could hear a pin drop.
“So, that was your mom,” Sammy said.
“Uhh, yeah.” Silas cleared his throat. “She, uh, I mean Finn and I usually visit together you know, since he basically lived with us growing up. He’s family. And he’s bringing Jaime to meet them, and so I thought, I mean if you wanted to, since he’s coming, I thought you could come along too?”
Fucking hell. Silas had flirted with and wooed plenty of pretty men before, and that was how he asked his goddamn mate to come home and meet his family? Really?
“Oh,” Sammy said, the hurt on his face schooling into disinterest almost faster than Silas could clock it. “Just because they invited my brother doesn’t mean I need to come, too. I’ll be fine. I need to look for apartments in Anchorage anyway so that I know where I’m going once I get my security deposit back. I’ll just do that when you all leave.”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Sammy tried to brush past Silas, but he grabbed his hand to stop him, squeezing. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. I would have asked you to come regardless of whether Jaime or Finn were too, Sammy. I just never found the right time,” Silas said, his throat scratchy. “I want you to come. I want you to meet my family.”
He felt a bit like he was flaying himself open to be poked and prodded, but somewhere along the way, Silas had realized that Sammy’s front of callous indifference was just that—a front. He was never going to be the one who was vulnerable first, which meant if Silas ever wanted to break through his walls, he had to be the one to take that terrifying first step.
And he would take it, over and over, until Sammy realized there was nothing Silas wouldn’t do for him.
So he was fully prepared for Sammy to pull away and brush him off again, but his heart nearly tripped and fell out of his chest when instead, Sammy halted.
“You want me to come?” he asked.
Silas’ voice shook ever so slightly. “Yes. I want you to come.”
Sammy toed at the ground, almost bashful. “And… they’re expecting me? They want me there?”
See? Behind those claws, he was all fluff.
The rumbling began in his chest again. Silas threaded his fingers through Sammy’s and tugged him closer. “They’re so excited to meet you. I’m excited for them to meet you.”
Sammy wasn’t staring at his feet anymore, but he wasn’t looking at Silas either. His gaze darted around like he was struggling to be casual just as much as Silas was.
Fucking hell, who were they trying to fool? They couldn’t be casual while holding hands, interlocked-finger style.
“Ok. I mean, sure. I’ll come,” Sammy said, shrugging his shoulders.
Silas let out the breath he’d been holding. “Ok. Good. Great. I’ll tell them.”
He really shouldn’t push his luck, but the words I need to find an apartment in Anchorage were still screaming their way through his mind. “And there’s no rush to leave, Sammy. You can stay with me until you get your security deposit back. Or longer, if insurance drags their feet. I’d rather you stay, than move to Anchorage,” Silas said.
Please don’t move to Anchorage.
Sammy did look at him then, assessing. “Ok.”
Silas felt his heart skip around again. He smiled, and even though the wreckage of Sammy’s apartment was still behind them, the day looked a little brighter. “Ok.”
And then Silas’ phone rang again.
Sammy threw his hands up in the air, turning toward their parked vehicles. “I’m going to chuck your phone into the lake one of these days,” he grumbled, and Silas loved this playfully grouchy version of him so much he’d probably let him.
Silas trailed Sammy back to the truck, chuckling, and answered without looking at who was calling.
“Hello?”
He halted at the rough sound of Sheppard’s voice, decidedly not casual. “Silas. Buck is here, and Gabe stopped by for an update. You should come back right now and hear this.”
“Fuck. Alright, we’re leaving now.”
They hung up, and just as Silas stepped into his truck, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye—a bright flash of light gold that looked out of place among the trees surrounding Sammy’s apartment complex.
Quickly, he turned to look, catching the vague shape of a person disappearing into the forest.
Stay with mate.
Stay with mate.
Despite his wolf’s warnings, Silas debated following the unseen observer. What if that was the driver who’d wrecked into Sammy’s apartment? Or maybe the stalker Sammy assured wasn’t a problem anymore?
Staywithmatestaywithmatestaywithmate.
Alright, I’ll stay. I’ll stay.
The internal panic that surged at the thought of leaving Sammy to track their observer eased with his assurances that he’d stay. Shaking it off, Silas shut his door and made sure Sammy was safely in his car before driving away, leading them back to Silver Rapids.