Chapter 27
DALLAS
When Casey’s ready for something, he’s ready.
He doesn’t let any of us dilly dally when we head out to the RV lot that houses their fancy rig.
All four of us packed up last night. Me and Hayden got the tour, which was a whole thing, but Casey thrived on it answering all our questions.
Then, of course, Casey and I fucked once Hayden and Kendra left us.
It was pretty epic until we had to clean stray cum from the couch.
“So, who drives this thing?” Hayden asks once we’re all inside the RV and everything is all situated.
“I do,” Casey says and settles into the driver’s seat.
“So do I,” Kendra says. She nods for me to sit next to Casey.
The front window is massive. It’s as if there’s a bay window in front of me. We’re so high up compared to everything else and I’m not sure how I like this, but I trust Casey even in this.
Kendra and Hayden take their spots behind us. Hayden sprawling out on the couch, Kendra sliding into one of the dinette seats.
Casey takes a deep breath. “So.” Casey’s voice is loud and I realize he’s wearing a mic and the entire RV is rigged up with speakers. “We kinda owe you two the entire double cult story.”
Hayden snorts and throws a blanket over himself, getting cozy, and it makes me laugh.
“But before we start,” Kendra says, also mic’d up. “For some of the parts to make sense, you have to know I was assigned male at birth. I don’t hate the boy from my past. He kept me alive. But I’ve always been Kendra.”
“Thank you for sharing.” I’m not sure what else there is to say. Kendra’s a brave woman to be living her truth, and I admire her for it.
“Yeah,” Hayden says. “It means a lot that you’re trusting us with this.”
“I just didn’t want you to get confused on a few bits and bobs in the story. This way, things aren’t awkward. I’m going to mostly sit here and listen while Casey gives you the rundown.”
I nod and tighten my seat belt. The engine roars to life, and I realize why the microphone and speakers. It’s not overly loud, but enough it would be difficult to hear anything.
“Give me some time to get into a groove and I’ll start our sordid tale.”
I snort and wish I wasn’t so damn far away from him. I want to hold his hand and kiss him.
My heart pounds as Casey maneuvers us from the lot and gets us on the road. My hands are sweaty and Casey looks over at me with a smirk.
“You okay over there?” he asks.
“Yeah, just never been in an RV. It’s a bit nerve wrecking sitting up here.”
“Don’t worry, we have roadside assistance in case we need it.”
The road is smooth and I settle in. A few times, people zip in front of us and I grip the armrests. I’d say I don’t know how Casey is so calm, but it’s Casey.
About twenty minutes into the drive, Casey starts.
“I don’t remember my mom.”
My heart already sinks for Casey.
“She left me in Charles’s care when I was like two. Or four. I don’t know. I just know I had a mom, then I didn’t.”
“He gets his hair from her,” Kendra says.
“How—” I start.
“I’m older than Casey by a few years. I remember her. Remember all the other kids.”
“So you know how old you are?” Hayden says.
“Not really, but I’m older. Casey was the rut of the litter. Like a fragile little kitten they threw into the fire. But he didn’t stay fragile for long. None of us did. We couldn’t. We weren’t allowed to be children.”
Casey sits in silence for a beat, tapping the huge steering wheel. “I got punished a lot.”
“We couldn’t protect you,” Kendra’s voice wavers.
“That wasn’t your job,” Casey says with affection. “None of us knew why I couldn’t focus on shit. Why everyone else could do the things no problem. Not until Darla saved us.”
“We’re going out of order,” Kendra says with a laugh in her voice.
“Right. Sorry.” Casey flashes me a smile before looking back at the road.
“No,” me and Hayden say together.
“There’s nothing to apologize for,” I say.
Casey nods. “I mean, there is, but not as a kid.”
Kendra picks up when Casey doesn’t continue for a few minutes. “Darla had him tested.”
“Low support autism and ADHD. It’s like everything made sense. I wasn’t wrong, just different. She helped a lot. Gave me tasks that helped.”
“Turned us into highly skilled killers.” There’s bitterness in Kendra’s voice. “But she also listened to us. She got me hormones and voice training. She was just as controlling as the Servants of the Divine cult we got out of, but she didn’t expect anything from us except for obedience.”
“Her obedience was easier than Charles’s,” Casey says. He shakes his head. “We’re still out of order.”
“Because Darla is much easier to talk about,” Kendra says.
“Charles liked to punish me by choking me. He’d tie something around my neck and force me on my tiptoes for hours.”
My stomach twists. That’s why he doesn’t like choking.
“But enough about me. This is about the Servants of the Divine.”
“I’ve never heard of it,” Hayden says.
“It’s not documented,” Kendra says.
“Charles destroyed it or morphed it into something else before anyone could investigate. I don’t know. But he’s not Charles anymore, he’s Matt Brooks.”
Hayden stands. “You mean THE Matt Brooks?” He paces back and forth.
“Yes, and I plan on killing him at Influencer Con.” Casey says it so nonchalantly.
Hayden stops and just watches Casey before dropping back into his seat.
We all tense and wait to see what he does.
“Why?” The sound is soft.
“Because he’s a transphobic pedophile and rapist,” Casey says.
There’s silence again, but not for long.
“In the cult, you were either a servant or a divine. Kendra and I were both servants. Boys served boys, girls served girls. Except for Kendra. Charles forced her to be with the boys even after she begged not to be. Because she’s a girl.”
I don’t think I like where this is going.
“Two servants were assigned to every Divine. We did everything for them. Our Divine was Dorian. He was our entire world all day, every day. We loved him and he loved us. I couldn’t ever see my life without him or Kendra. We grew up together. As a Divine—”
“Sorry,” I interrupt, “what does it mean to be Divine?”
Casey swallows. “I didn’t understand as a kid. I still don’t think I do. I was a servant and had to do everything Dorian or any of the other Divines said. And of course Charles. Charles was our main god. We had to do everything he said. Divines could turn into gods. I think I was twelve?”
“How did Divines get turn into gods?” Hayden asks so softly I barely hear them.
“They go through a ceremony,” Kendra says.
“And I accidently walked in.” Casey squeezes the wheel.
What the hell did he walk in on.
“They were raping him. Charles and the other gods. I didn’t know that’s what it was at the time.
I just knew Dorian was crying and begging them to stop.
They didn’t.” He keeps his eyes narrowed on the road.
“There were seven of them. Charles is the last one left. I killed one the night I walked in. I stabbed him with the ceremonial dagger before the others wrestled me away. They never saw me coming.” He grins, but there’s no cheer in it.
“They locked me up, said I was going to be executed in the morning, but I was clever. I got out. Found Kendra and told her what I saw with the limited understanding I had. Charles kept us ignorant. I just knew Dorian was in pain. He was scared. I had to help. We found Dorian, and we ran. All three of us with just the clothes on our backs. No shoes. We ran until we couldn’t run anymore.
Charles probably thought we’d die from the elements.
From not knowing anything beyond the compound.
But we lived. We found abandoned houses and forgotten food.
We became like ghosts and the entire time we did what we could for Dorian.
He was ours to protect. Ours to serve until his last breath. ” Tears stream down Casey’s face.
“We lived on the streets for months,” Kendra says. “It was intense, and we protected Dorian from as much as possible. We didn’t really understand the world outside of the cult. We were still children. I was fourteen. Casey was probably around twelve. We learned quick though.”
“Dorian got worse. He didn’t tell us, but we saw it in his actions. He wrote us a note before he did it.” Casey sobs out and clamps a hand over his mouth. “Sorry.”
“No, darlin’, there’s nothing to be sorry about. Maybe we should pull over for a bit?”
Casey shakes his head. “We have to keep going.”
“Let me take over,” Hayden offers. “I’ve driven a tractor and a combine at my uncle’s place. Shouldn’t be too much different, right?”
“I wouldn’t know, but I’ll take you up on the offer.” Casey takes the next exit and we sit in silence until he parks in a gas station parking lot. He gives Hayden a quick lesson.
Kendra comes up to me and drops a hand to my shoulder. “How about you sit with him?”
I nod and slide from the passenger seat. Casey climbs onto the couch and I pull him close. I need him in my arms. Need to feel his heat. His weight. His breath.
Casey hides his face in my chest and clings to my shirt. He’s not outright sobbing, but he still needs time.
I don’t know how long we sit like this before Casey pulls away and wipes his eyes. “I have to tell Kendra a secret,” he says so quietly.
Kendra shakes her head. “Please tell me it’s not about our time with David?” She takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly before continuing. “Don’t tell me it’s what I think it is.”
“He wanted you, but I didn’t want you to feel what Dorian did. I needed to take care of us. I couldn’t let him do anything to you.”
“You lied to me.” There’s a warble to Kendra’s voice.
“I had to. I didn’t want you to look like that.” Casey waves his hand to her face. “You’re giving me a look that tells me you feel sorry for me. I chose to pay the toll.”
“We could have done something else.”
“I was tired. David wasn’t cruel. He let us stay. He fed us. Kept us warm and helped. All he asked for was—”