Chapter Eleven #3
That brings me to my next point: I think Talon framed you.
I can’t prove it, but the way he’s been so skittish and unwilling to talk about it has me on edge.
If I try to use alghazi on him, he loses it.
Says I have no right to intrude on his mind.
And get this, Tershetta is missing. There are signs everywhere, and the colonels are all losing their fucking minds trying to find her.
Again, I can’t prove it, but I think Talon might have done something to her.
Or, maybe she found you. I told you she was looking for you, right?
Maybe she tried to kill you and you’re both dead on some random planet.
Who knows? Not me, because you’re NOT RESPONDING.
Quinn
Okay, so Quinn was pissed off. That made sense. And there was something nagging at me about Priya. Mother had only mentioned it when talking about a new heir. Could she be wanting to welcome me home? Would they let me come back in their desperation?
While I’d never admitted it out loud, I knew I had already made the decision. I wouldn’t go back. Not unless it was to kill Father. From there…
My eyes wandered back to Tershetta, watching as she twirled one of her curls, causing it to frizz.
I didn’t know what I’d do from there. Not anymore.
Since Tershetta wasn’t paying attention, I summoned my journal, keeping my eyes on her in case she caught sight of the shadows. I didn’t need her finding it, because stars knew she was nosy enough to read it.
Luckily, she was completely absorbed in whatever she was reading from the book on magic, and I had my journal open without a hitch.
I flipped halfway through it, running my fingers along the jagged edge of the page I’d ripped out, the letter I’d written to Celeste stating her sister was awake and well left unanswered.
Staring at the next blank page, I did what I had quite a few times since I first ended up there.
Dear Octavia,
You wouldn’t believe this, but I think your daughter is actually warming up to me. She has smiled my way a handful of times now, and I think once she didn’t regret it after. Or maybe that’s me being hopeful.
Sometimes, she’ll whisper in her sleep. The words are incoherent, but I think maybe she’s talking to you. Last night she even cried, but that woke her up and I had to pretend to be asleep. I wanted to ask her what her dream was about, or to see if she was okay, but I was scared.
Once, in a letter, you said you believed in me. In my character, at least. I don’t know if you were right or not, but I think you forgot about just how cowardly I am. Or you didn’t know. Probably that. You didn’t really know me at all. Somehow, I feel like I do know you, though.
Again, could just be my hopeful side, which seems to be making an appearance more often lately.
I’m not quite sure why I’m writing to you again. I guess I just wanted someone to talk to. To explain what’s happening in my mind. It’s like there’s a deep fissure down the center, separating the me from before academy and the me from after.
The me before Nova, and the me after her.
Yeah, that’s a good way to put it.
“What are you writing?”
Yelping, I slammed my journal closed, looking up to find Tershetta standing behind the far chair, her head cocked and the faintest hint of a smile lifting the corners of her lips.
She was gripping the book, her fingers tucked into the pages as she held it to her chest. Her dark eyes glowed with flecks of silver, brighter than normal.
“Nothing,” I said, tucking the journal under the table and demanding it return to its spot below the floor board. She watched the space just above the table, probably seeing the shadow tendrils.
Did she care enough to search for it? Should I change where I hid it?
“I’m going to let your secrets slide, because I have something to say.
” She sat down, letting the book lay open on her lap as she straightened her shoulders.
“I’ve had a very hard time trusting you, that much is obvious.
While I was reading, I thought of how much you’ve offered me with little in return, and that makes me feel a sense of debt to you. ”
“I get that. People are rarely nice when something isn’t offered in return.”
“Exactly! But here’s the thing: I do trust you.
At least a little. I go to sleep without the fear of you killing me.
I eat the food without the fear of you poisoning me.
I go on your heinous runs and do your terrible training workouts even though you could leave me to die or shove me off the mountainside. ”
I couldn’t stop myself from analyzing her every word, assessing each of her flinches and gestures. Did she want me too? Was that even possible? At the very least, she trusted me. And what an incredible thing that was.
“You’ve let Death and I stay here with no caveats—yet—and you saved me back in the Sham District. We’ll never fully see eye to eye, and maybe we won’t even get along most of the time, but I meant it when I said we could be allies. So, I’m going to be the first to make an offer.”
With no warning, Tershetta grabbed the book and slammed it onto the table, making our dishes teeter. I steadied my cup and plate, staring at her with my mouth open and brows raised.
“I think I found a way to locate the eadi rebellion, and you and I are going to help them.”