Chapter Thirty-Two
Nova
“Celeste painted the most beautiful family portrait today. Mama was so proud she hung it right at the start of the hallway.”
Despite all I’d heard about their parents, I hadn’t expected to witness such…hatred. I’d always known I was lucky to have such a great family, and we were thankful to not struggle as much as other eadi, but I realized something in that clearing.
I had grown up far richer than Azazel.
We sat on the sofa, tea in his mug and coffee in mine, neither of us speaking as we stared at the parchment snake. I was trying my hardest to give him space. Something inside of me was itching to make it better though. To help him in any way I could. Just as I opened my mouth, he spoke.
“She won’t tell anyone she saw us. It’d only solidify her death. Father doesn’t accept mistakes.”
“That’s…good. We don’t need the cores knowing you’re working with the rebellion.”
“I’m sure Father figured it out as soon as I beat him and stole from his office. Only I would have known my way around that well.”
“Well, at least we’re safe.”
“For now,” he whispered, grabbing the note from Caleb. I wrapped my arm around him, trying to come up with anything helpful to say.
“Do you feel better or worse after what she said?”
“Better, in a way,” he mumbled, toying with the tail of the snake. “At least she admitted to it all. Not that it makes any of it okay, but it is somewhat nice to know she loved me once. Even if only briefly.”
“What your father did to her was despicable.”
“Yeah, well, that’s what all core men do. We ruin things. Break them. Destroy them.”
Grabbing his jaw, I forced him to face me, my voice firm as I said, “Not you.”
A tear beaded on his lower lashes, hanging there as if too afraid to fall. I pressed my thumb lightly against it, catching the liquid before it could run its course. He watched me with a pained crinkle of his eyes and a stiff jaw. As if he might break and was fiercely holding himself together.
“You’re nothing like him.”
“My mother would say you’re wrong.”
“Because she never took the time to know you.”
“Or maybe you only know the better parts of me,” he said, closing his eyes and leaning into my hand.
“I know it all, Az. I’ve seen it all,” I whispered, stroking his cheek with my damp thumb. “You’re better than all of them combined.”
Pushing his forehead into mine, he breathed deeply, sucking in the air between us. When he pulled back, his tears had dried, but the agony still painted his face in tight lines and jagged strokes.
Slowly, he unfolded the parchment, flattening it on his knees before holding it up so we could both read it.
Az,
I swear to every fucking star above that if you don’t come and get the three of us soon, we will find you and beat your ass.
Things are not good right now. I mean, obviously, but I’m serious. Talon keeps randomly showing up at each of our houses and asking about you. He says he thinks you’re holding Nova hostage. And what am I supposed to say, huh? Pretty sure she’s the one holding him hostage IN HER CUNT?
Oh, Quinn wants me to add that you’re a bitch for not answering his letter a royal ass for a jerk for not responding to his letters.
Remind me to remind Quinn to be less uptight if we all survive this mess.
Also, I’ve got more bad news. I heard from Pri. Her mother is taking her to meet with your father next week. She’s going to offer her to him like a fucking pig, Az. Like breeding cattle. You have to come get us. Now.
Cal
“Stars,” I whispered, my hand flying to my mouth. “They can’t be serious?”
“They’re serious,” he said. He stood, grabbing the statue of Death and rearing back his arm. I braced for the throw, but he stopped himself midway, as if frozen. I stood slowly, reaching up and wrapping my fingers around his.
“We’re going to help them, Az.”
“How? I can’t even see a path to that! My mother knows I’m alive and will be watching both the clearing and my room.
I can send the response to Cal, but he won’t be able to say anything back.
We have no ability to coordinate. I can’t give him our location because it’s too big of a risk. So what do we do? How do we get them?”
He collapsed back onto the sofa, the sculpture slipping into my hand as he released it.
With a groan, he dropped his face into his waiting palms. Of all the people on Dajahim, I had to be the worst one to help him with a dilemma like this.
I’d fought for how long to save my family?
And I had failed. Yet, in some cruel twist of fate, I was the only one who could be there.
Sitting down at his side, I wrapped my arm around him.
Are you all still ignoring me?
I waited. And waited. And waited.
Silence was my only answer.
They hadn’t spoken to me since they’d told me they were mad that I wasn’t giving in to Azazel. But, oh, could I use them right now.
Az remained hunched over, his breaths rapid. His body was shaking slightly, and I was ninety percent certain he was starting to truly cry now. Threading my fingers through his hair, I took a deep breath and tried to think of a solution. To be there for him as he regularly was for me.
“Okay, so it won’t be easy. That doesn’t mean it’s impossible though.
Think. We only really need to find Cal. He can get us to the others.
I know Cal will be the last to leave the alchemy lab on any given day, which means around dinner time he’ll be alone in that room on the shaytan base.
The others will be there too, because clearly being home isn’t ideal at the moment.
If it was me, I’d work as many late nights as I could. ”
He spread two of his long fingers, his eye appearing between them. I took that as a sign he was truly listening now. So, I forced my mind to work in ways it seemingly hadn’t since I stepped foot in Snake Lodge.
“We can send a message to Cal that has no signature. I’ll write it so no one recognizes the penmanship. I’ll mention a brew and a number, and we’ll have faith that Cal will understand it means location and time. If not, we get onto that base and don’t leave without them.”
“How do you propose we get onto the base without being noticed?”
“Do you still have your mask?”
“Yes.”
“Then I say we do the one thing they’d never expect. Let’s walk right in.”
***
By the time we finished morning training, Az had truly refined and perfected the rescue plan.
Despite saying I’d be a great strategist, he inadvertently proved himself wrong by showing me what a true strategist was.
He’d sat down on the floor with at least ten pieces of parchment spread out, scattered graphite everywhere, a chess board with silver and black pieces, and his journal.
Nearly half an hour had passed before he’d even flinched, but once he started writing and finally began placing chess pieces, he seemingly couldn’t stop moving.
I’d never seen anything like it. Which was why, as we stood and bowed at the end of our group movement session, I couldn’t help but stare at him in awe.
“Are you so obsessed with me that you can’t resist staring?” he asked, his lopsided grin revealing only his left dimple as he stepped into me.
“Nova!” I recognized Desi’s voice, my head automatically turning away from Azazel and towards the approaching woman.
A large, burly man walked beside her, his dark hair long like hers, braided in a single plait that swung with every step.
His face bore no tattoos, though his copper skin and dark eyes matched hers.
As they grew closer, I noted the shadow marks on his hands, wisps of darkness crawling up his fingers just like Az and I’s.
“Who’s that?” I asked Azazel as I raised my hand to wave. Desi beamed, grabbing the man by the wrist and tugging him behind her as she quickened her pace. Around us, the other rebels dispersed, most of them peeking our way as they walked.
“Jonah,” Az answered. “He and Desi know each other well. They’re from the same place.”
“Which is where?” I dared to ask. Az only stepped forward slightly, putting us side by side as Desi and Jonah stopped in front of us.
“Hey, Desi. Jonah.” His voice was kind, if not a bit more formal than Desi on her own would have received.
“Az, Jonah was hoping to meet Nova. I figured while they chatted, you and I could talk about that painting I liked.”
With that, Az’s entire demeanor changed. He straightened, his body stiff and mouth downturned. Painting?
“Of course. Nova, I’ll be right back.” He smiled at me, the expression strained. I opened my mouth, trying to argue, but he only turned to the man before us. “Be good, Jonah. I know where you sleep.”
The last line was said with a sharper smile, one that stretched his face into something terrifying. Deadly. Blood thirsty.
“Will do,” Jonah said, speaking for the first time. His voice was even deeper than Az’s, the tone almost melodic. He stood straight and poised, watching closely as Desi pulled Az away from us. When they were far enough away, Jonah turned to face me. “It’s nice to meet you, Nova.”
“You as well. Jonah, was it?”
“Yes.”
“Azazel mentioned you and Desi are from the same place. Where is that, exactly?”
His dark eyes crinkled at the corners, a sly smile splitting his lips and flashing his teeth. “Desi mentioned you were a curious one. She didn’t say you were nosy.”
“Excuse me? I’m not nosy.”
“I beg to differ.”
Hands gripping my hips, I tilted my head, leveling him with a glare. “Tell me, do you insult everyone you meet, or is that just women?”
“Just you, actually,” he said, his lips upturned.
“Aren’t I special? Since you already think I’m nosy, do tell, what is an elite from some unknown place doing in a rebellion?” I gestured to his shadow marks, watching in surprise as he tucked his hands behind his back.
His smile fell, his eyes relaxing as he said, “I beheaded a toddler.”
I reared back, stumbling as I put distance between us.
He let out a sardonic chuckle, stepping towards me once more.
“It was on planet eight-one-seven. The intels had described the main continent as vibrant, like a living rainbow. Nothing could have prepared me for just how stunning it would be. Music played all across the tiny planet, the quick beats and long melodies sounding even as we slaughtered them en masse.” My hand flew to my mouth, and I couldn’t stop the images of our own conquest during academy replaying in my mind.
Of the screams as light shot from my chest and the planet shook.
As if he knew where my thoughts had strayed, Jonah nodded, a grim smile returning.
“Yes, you’ve killed far more than I have. You decimated an entire planet. At your will, millions of toddlers died.”
Was it possible for an already broken heart to shatter? It felt like mine was. As if every fragment was turning to dust.
“I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t mean it,” I insisted, trying to justify it all. To convince myself I wasn’t as awful as I knew I was. As I’d always known.
“It doesn’t matter, Nova.” Jonah gestured towards Az and Desi in the distance, their approach slow as they spoke.
“We’ve all done things we will never be able to atone from.
We can’t be forgiven for such atrocities.
We’re a disease.” He placed his large hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently.
“When the war ends, we must die too. All of us. The only gift we can give the eadi now is ridding Dajahim of the plague that is the shaytan.”
My eyes watered as Az looked up and saw me, his smile so wide that his dimples cut into his cheeks and his eyes nearly closed. He looked so handsome like that. Happy.
“Desi told me about you two. While it might not be forever, you two can be together right now. Be happy in any way you can while you still have the chance, Nova.” He released my shoulder, not saying anything before he walked towards Desi.
Az nodded at Jonah as he passed, jogging over to me after. When he reached me, all I could manage to do was wrap my arms around his neck and breathe him in. Because Jonah was right.